@SoulfullyAButterfly

What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

I totally understand how hard it is to deal with not feeling good enough and I am sorry you are going through that. It might have happened with parents, a partner or someone else. It doesn't matter really. It might come from trauma as a children and the best way is therapy or maybe not. Maybe the first step is to realize that they are human beings too and most of all start a journey towards self-love. Go out with family members and have a good time. Don't think about your problem. Later face all those self-doubt, inner critic, negative self-talk. Turn that negative voice in a positive one and your relationship with others will be better I think. You went your whole life with that negative self talk and you don't deserve it and you should be the first person to tell yourself that. You are an amazing person and deserve self confidence and a healthy relationship with yourself. At the end of the day it will help you with communication with the other and also gathering information from them. You may also feel more confident to post on social media if you do not do now. I am telling you all this out of personal experience. I too struggled with self-worth but I am now better thanks to this amazing community. Good luck with everything.

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

Human beings often have an internal voice (though some individuals only think in pictures) which can easily influence their whole life. Did you know that we modeled how we talk to ourselves on the way adults (parents, teachers…) used to address us when we were children?

When we grow up loved and surrounded by healthy relationships, our brain has received the information needed to express self-love to ourselves. With encouragement (“You can do it, good luck!”) and comfort ( “You didn’t win, yet you still had a good time!”) during negative emotions such as fear or disappointment, our internal communication reminds us of our self-worth within the moments challenging our self-confidence.

Alas, not everyone benefits from a healthy environment when growing up. Any form of abuse, neglect, or bullying... from family members or influential individuals from our childhood can set negative self-talk that plays our inner critic instead of helping us manage our emotions.

It is the real reason some individuals may seem to you as if to them it was effortless to do the right thing and have success and happiness in their lives while you feel stuck sabotaging yourself with self-doubt.

The good news is : it's possible to become this partner for yourself who tells you that you are good enough and reminds you of the great things you did or the amazing person you are.

In therapy, developing this cheering voice isn’t just the best way to never feel like you are not good enough for someone. At the end of the day it also enables you to become a better person, more aware of your inner mechanisms, and more supportive of others’ successes.

A first step to improving your self-esteem could be to reframe your thoughts the next time you see something on social media that makes you feel like you’re not good enough.

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Self-Esteem

We often judge our self-worth on the ability to please others, this can be damaging to our self-esteem. So the question is what is self-esteem?

The Mind website offers a great overview of this question https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/about-self-esteem/

They describe self-esteem as the ability to like and value yourself, to recognise your strengths and positives. This takes a level of self-awareness, to understand your values. We must try and be kind to ourselves so we can love our inner-self. By doing this we can begin to build self-confidence within ourselves that inner voice, and with that comes strength and resilience to say actually I am enough.

One of the things that can harm self-esteem is our relationships and trying too hard to please others. Sadly as much as we would like not everyone in life is going to like you and trying will only lead you to be unhappy. I have experienced similar in my life and having the ability to say I am me, and take me as I am will lead to a better state of mind.

As mind says in their article whilst low self-esteem is not a mental health problem in itself, it could lead to depression and or anxiety. Feeling unvalued can lead to this becoming a reality, be ready to check in with yourself from time to time.

You are good enough

Hope For Healing Foundation

https://hopeforhealingfoundation.org/the-secret-to-confidence-and-self-esteem/?gclid=CjwKCAjwu5yYBhAjEiwAKXk_eHiO5Sf68Pu5OhtMJ9dPQpHwLb0x19HKUi1KX2BeIJ9mvU1lmPAbPBoCHk0QAvD_BwE

Hope for feeling puts this question down to one variable

"People who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy of love and belonging. That’s it. They believe they’re worthy."

This self-value ensures they know where they belong and where they are feeling undervalued. They have a sense of knowing they are a person worthy of the right kind of love. Often we chase people who have no time for us or are dealing with their own issues. By understanding, that we are still valuable regardless of others' feelings we find self-love which means we can be in relationships with the people that matter. That comes from feelings of belonging, much like ancient tribes we must find the right one to fight for and when it does not feel right we must find a tribe that will be accepting of the person you are.

You have value and that value will be recognised by the right people, but first, you must recognise that value within yourself. As HFH says in their article once you find this value you begin to change, that change at first might be scary - but over time you become a powerful being worthy of walking this planet.

As humans, we make a choice about what we believe and that power lies within us all. Change is about making that first step, that first choice. In the end, what we choose is how we perceive our reality, our relationships, and our inner voice. Finding that acceptance within our consciousness can change our entire world.

Thank you for reading, I hope this has come a little to answer your question dear reader.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Answer: It is an unhealthful and a hard situation for any to understand. Unfortunately, it is not an uncommon feeling; many people find themselves in relationships in which they are being convinced that their partner is lowering themselves by being with them. Relationships are not built on human beings but love, trust, and allowing each other to grow individually with equality. There are times when we have to face the fact that our partner is not a good match for us, and it is a common problem addressed globally according to research (www.pubmed.com) and well-known clinics (mayo clinic). The first step is to realize that you are good enough for absolutely anyone and should never question your self-worth. Stay away from self-doubt, the inner critic, or negative self-talk. Keep yourself surrounded by family members, children, and people who can make you feel secure and happy. Take needed efforts to explore the root of the problem. Talk with a trusted friend or counselor who doesn’t judge you. Focus on things that make you feel happy and fulfilled. I also have been through that path, confused, feeling inferior and unworthy to be loved. But, after following these, 'am able to see how much more powerful my feelings are and how it can be churned positively. I do believe with proper support and self-help you can change your lives too. Good luck for your efforts.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

What is happiness? Question

Everyone wants to be happy.Happiness is this dream we all chase. But sometimes chasing happiness feels like chasing the horizon. The closer we think we get to it the farther it moves away.
So today I'm putting together this post for everyone out there struggling. And I just want to say that you are not alone. You are loved. You are beautiful. You are wanted. You are enough.
Don't let others ruin this for you.
What I'm about to write is based on experience, the things that I now know are the key to this legendary happiness.
But before I start I just want to tell you guys that happiness isn't a destination.
This might sound cheesy but its true. Once you're happy, as much as you want it too, it won't last forever. We are human, we have our ups and our downs and its okay to be sad sometimes.
But there will come a time where you will have to get back on your feet and continue your journey❤️

@SoulfullyAButterfly

It sounds like you have been going through a tough patch. The self-doubt and relenting thoughts of “needing” to be good enough can be exhausting. You are not alone; I have also been in a similar situation. I have always felt the need to become a better person in order to be “deserving” of someone. The truth is that we can always be better parents, partners, and friends, but at the end of the day, we are all just human beings, and nobody is perfect, not even the most successful people on social media! You deserve to be relieved from your inner critic because you are enough.

The first step to combat these negative feelings is to change your perception of your self-worth. Sometimes, the real reason we may feel inadequate is because of the voice in our head trivialising our strengths while ruminating on our flaws, despite the fact that we are amazing people deserving of the love of everyone around us.

Some people find it helpful to practice self-love to celebrate their growth and experiences up to this point to build their self-confidence. They would practice self-love through doing activities they enjoy like listening to music. Reflective journaling was also something I found helpful to foster my self-esteem, by allowing me to transition to more positive self-talk and objectively reflect on my experiences.

Communication is also key! The best way to foster healthy relationships is through being open with each other. It can be helpful to express your thoughts to the other person because your concerns are valid and deserve to be addressed.

If you feel like those feelings of self-doubt are overwhelming and straining you physically or mentally, it could also be beneficial to seek professional help like therapy. There’s nothing shameful about going to therapy; in reality, it is a courageous act because not everyone has the courage to do so.

It may take some time to stop the negative self-talk and inner criticism, but I know you’ll get there someday. Good luck and all the best!

Sources:

https://www.birchpsychology.com/birchs-blog/2021/10/22/overthinking-the-culprit-behind-low-self-esteem

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321309#Learning-to-listen-to-yourself

@SoulfullyAButterfly

What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

First of all know your worth,build up your confidence and self love, love yourself for who you are 💜it is very important to know you cant please everyone. Second of all know the reason why do you feel that way? Regardless the reason work you only for yourself, it is not always important what somebody thinks about you, it is important to know who you are, and become a better person for your own good.



❤️ Thank you for this post! You are awesome ❤️

❤️ About the optimized, approved answer: ❤️

❤️ While the approved and optimized answer did explain a lot, using research and most of the keywords in the process, it didn't dive deep regarding the actual question (the bag helping during panic attacks): It just says a couple of things about it at the very end. It does not include 8-10 sentences, does not show support and/or warmth and lacks anything relatable (like a personal story or empathy). However, it is very informative, so even though it has room for improvement, I understand why it was declared a quality answer. ❤️

❤️ My answer (the rest of the post): ❤️

❤️ I understand the feeling and the "I am not enough" thought. I went and still go through that: my insecurities stopped me from looking for a partner and pursuing my dreams more than once, so I get how tough it can be (specially when we start being happy children and then face this challenging self-doubt). I want you to know that you are not alone, and that your feelings are valid. ❤️

❤️ Sadly, many elements of our life can lead to this insecurity. Sometimes, parents accidentally damage our self-esteem, which can cause us to develop a negative self-talk and inner critic. It also isn't rare for family members to compare us to other people, which affects our perception of our self-worth. Besides, a main source of today's communication is social media, which is often toxic to our self-confidence. I want you to know that none of that is your fault. ❤️

❤️ But there are good news! This does not mean that you'll think "Why am I not a better person?" your whole life. The first step you can take is identifying the reason why you feel this way. Did someone say something hurtful? An event or person caused this lack of self-love? What is making you feel this way? ❤️

❤️ Once you identified the real reason and root, you can challenge it. What is the evidence that proves you are not good enough? Your feelings and thoughts are valid, but that does not mean that what you think/feel is the undeniable truth. For example, let's suppose someone is making you feel bad about yourself: they are being offensive, yes, but are they omniscient? They are not. They are human beings, just like you, and what they say is not right: you truly are an amazing person. ❤️

❤️ To combat the negative self-talk, you can try to replace your unhelpful thoughts. Instead of thinking "I am not good enough", you can think "I am reaching out to improve as a person, which makes me self-aware and emotionally intelligent. I might not be having good luck, but I care and search for information to advance and overcome this insecurity. Those are great things that prove I am resourceful, determined, courageous and strong. I feel that I am not enough, but my feelings are not the impartial, objective reality". It's about a new perspective and challenging your insecurities. ❤️

❤️ You can try to use positive activities, too! Having a good time by doing things that you enjoy can help you to listen to your own voice. You could find out which is your best way to feel more confident (and overall better) by exploring coping mechanisms. You also can reach out to your loved ones and ask for reassurance: you are worthy of affection, so why shouldn't you receive it? And if you are comfortable doing so, you can do therapy: after all, ensuring your emotional wellness always is the right thing to do. ❤️

❤️ At the end of the day, if someone makes you feel that you are not good enough for them, it's their loss and not the other way around. You are worthy of a healthy relationship, you are more than enough and you deserve all the love and happiness of the world. You just have trouble seeing how incredible you are: opening your eyes will help to make your confidence grow. ❤️

❤️ Lastly, I hope your day is as awesome as you. ❤️

@SoulfullyAButterfly

A lot of us go through this feeling of not being good enough. It might be related to our parents or partners, or it might be a result of low self esteem fostered by the social media. This feeling of not being good enough is accompanied by the negative self-talk and self-doubt. We might get so engrossed in what our inner critic says that we tend to drift apart from the real reason of us not feeling good enough.

When this feeling arises, it is important for us to understand the power of self-love and self-worth. We are human beings, and we are all allowed to make mistakes and then strive again to become a better version of ourselves. Being kind and gentle to ourselves during such times is helpful. It can also assist with shifting the voice in our head and gaining more self- confidence. When things are bad, we can always turn outside for support, may it be from family members or in the form of therapy. At the end of the day, it is good to remember that we are not alone.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question : What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

This is a great question. We often feel, we are not enough or we are not good enough for someone, may it be for our parents, our friends, our partner, we feel that they deserve someone so better than us or we are not able to give them the love and care they deserve. Trust me this is not just you or me, we all feel this atleast once in our lifetime and it's okay to feel something like this. But this really doesn't mean that you're not enough for them🌻 It's just our thoughts and overthinking, makes us think in this way but it's really not true.

We spend so much time on social media, we look at others social life, we watch happy families on screen, happy relationships on screen and we tend to think that "ahh they're so happy, they're keeping their loved ones happy, I'm not able to do it, I guess I'm not good enough to be ____" but we should understand that whatever we see on screen is not real and we should understand that everyone is different. We all have our own ways of showing love to each other, caring about each other and we should never compare ourselves with someone else, who's so different from us, in every ways 😄

Self-doubt always makes us feel bad and it always makes us ignore our strengths and focus only on our weaknesses. But it's not the same when we think about others🌻 When we think about others/ our loved ones, we see only their strengths and ignore their weaknesses and when we compare their strengths with our weaknesses, we feel that we are really not good enough for them😄 Inspite of this, we should see our strengths too, yes we all have weaknesses but we do have our own strengths/ something we are good at, think about it, see that and you'll know that even you're worthy!

Never compare yourself with others. We all are different and we all are unique. No two person can be same so don't think about your weaknesses and rather think about what makes you beautiful, what makes you special🌻 And if you think you're having a weakness which you should work on, please work on it🌸 When you wanna improve and work on yourself, nobody can stop you from doing it😄

Know that every human being deserves to be loved and to be showed kindness🌻 So instead of overthinking, try to take everything in a positive way, and try to work on it, work on yourself to be the better version of you🌸

And at the end of the day what matters is you, your loved ones and your happiness🌻🌸 It doesn't matter how long you take to improve, be better, be the one you want to be, what matters is your happiness and the beautiful journey😄 Remember happiness doesn't come only when you reach your destination, it comes when you start your journey🌻😄

All the best with your life🌻