Depression Support Check-In: September 6th-19th 2021
Hey everyone! Nice to meet all of you! I'm sorry for another late check in like before. I'll try to be on time after this.
Let's just go straight to our check in hehe :)
1) How have your days been? Would you like to share anything with us?
2) What have you done to take better care of yourself recently?
3) List five of your greatest personality traits ^^
Now let's wrap up here. Thank you for being here with us. Your existence for just being here is truly special and precious. Know that we're here for you and we care about you. Until next time, take care and stay safe :)
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@kdsyahirah
Thank you for the tag! ❤
1) How have your days been? Would you like to share anything with us?
It has been hectic lately. I have been working day in and day out. How about you?
2) What have you done to take better care of yourself recently?
I read a self-help book, exercised, spoke to my fiancee over the phone. 💙
3) List five of your greatest personality traits ^^
- Empathy
- Positive-Attitude
- Great Dedication
- Enthusiasm to learn
- Openness
I can feel that hectic too! Sometimes I feel like all that I do is run. Glad you got to talk to your fiancee. @lyricalAngel70
@kdsyahirah
1. Not good. My body won't sleep enough and I'm tired of feeling love for others. It feels too vulnerable to really care about someone... And I feel like it'll just end badly lately.
2. I've been doing Kendo a lot again (Japanese fencing). It's actually getting me in shape better than my other workouts.
3. Clever, caring, non-judgmental, always learning, good friend
Maybe taking a break from love life is okay for a bit. Give your mind time to heal. Loving yourself should come first anyway.
Japanese fencing sounds fascinating. @Torean
- I've been fairly stressed the past week. Second week into classes, and I'm already stressed out from assignments with weekly deadlines. Past two nights, I've been awake before 4am, from the stress, worrying, and uneasiness. As interested as I am in the subject Psychology, it's still a lot of reading and critical thinking needed to complete these assignments. It's really straining my brain functions, so far, it seems I have to read something more than once to truly understand what is being said and actually think critically about it. I can foresee that this semester will all be sleepless nights and waking up between 3-4am. This means that I'll be functioning in my depression-mode (which means if this sleep goes on longer than a week, I'll still feel well-rested even with the lack of sleep).
- Self-care? I'm currently learning to let go of the past, it will be difficult, but I might have found someone to support me, take my hand and guide me out to the present. Also, I'm also working on trying to maintain being happy. Aside from all the stress, I'll try to redirect my thoughts to a more positive pathway.
- Five personality traits: Loyal, Honest, Trustworthy, Considerate, Empathetic~
@kdsyahirah
I am so sorry that the new classes are stressful. Sometimes it takes a few weeks to get your mind able to comprehend the material. Then it clicks into place and the language starts to make sense. Do try to get sleep when you can. It can be even harder to get the work understood without the sleep. @Jaeteuk
I'm trying to revise my assignment. I currently still have 50 more words than the limit. Need to hand it in before midnight, still got a few hours left. Rest is not in the schedule at the moment, I have readings for this same course, due midnight of tomorrow too~
@bestVase7265
50 words isn't a huge amount to delete. For each assignment when the anxiety starts, stop, stand up, walk around the room, and take a few deep breaths. Think only about the breaths. Rest comes in many forms. @Jaeteuk
It was more than 100 words over, then 50.. then, I made it under 250.. I'm hoping it should get easier. Instructor said that it's only this written assignment requires answering three questions. The remaining ones should only be one question to answer~
@bestVase7265
That will be helpful. @Jaeteuk
Happy Thursday!
Hope that you are having a nice one.@joyousHug4511
1) How have your days been? Would you like to share anything with us? Back issues and some other medical issues going on. The EMDR is causing Disassociation and flashbacks.
2) What have you done to take better care of yourself recently? going to buy some Melatonin
3) List five of your greatest personality traits ^^1. persistent, cautious,caring, understanding,
long suffering
Sorry that the therapy is harder right now. Hopefully it will improve things as you continue.@scarletPear1945
- Miserable. I’m living in a state facility because of how suicidal I am. These people don’t care about me at all, they don’t care about any other patients either. I got into a physical fight with another patient and was thrown into an isolated room for a full day. I have to spit out some of my medication so I’m not zombified and there is barely any treatment. I’ve been here two weeks and I’ve had about 30 minutes of total one to one and it’s Little more than asking the basic questions of how I’m doing. I’ve given up hope. Truly. I’m not trying to get better anymore. I’m done. I’m done. I’m done.
- Nothing. The guards (they’re not really nurses) make me shower and force me to eat with a tube inserted in my nose because I refuse to.
I can’t even remember the third one and I don’t care anymore.
Sending peace and new courage. You are the only one who can change things now. Being miserable isn't your only option.
Quick question - if it is oblivion that you seek why not take the meds? At least you won't feel the pain as badly. Then your brain might have time to heal as well.@Server8462
Because these medications aren’t to help. They’re to keep us controlled.
My brain is beyond healing.
You don't know that until you try it. Medications don't just "control" you. They can eventually find a combination which actually makes you feel more whole. Try to stop making presumptions about the future. @Server8462
Did like you said and took the pills. I still don’t feel anything except the urge to drive my car into a brick wall at 100mph.
That is good, but give them more than one day to work. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Sending strength and patience. They can be really hard to find, I know. @Server8462
Today isn’t an improvement. I overheard the doctors saying they don’t know how to help because I can’t be given ect due to my disorders. I just sat silently for a while and then punched a whale until my hand bled. Then they put me in a four point restraint that I just got out of ten minutes ago.
I hate life.
I am so sorry. That sounds like a really rough day. Tell people that you overheard what the doctor said and that is why you got upset. Keep asking them to explain what they are trying to you. You don't deserve to live with despair.@Server8462
@bestVase7265
They essentially told me that they’re just filling me with drugs until they find one that works. So in short they’re going to throw pills against the wall until they find one that sticks.
And if they don’t? I’ll probably be lobotomized.
Vase, I appreciate your support, but at this point I’d prefer just your sympathy. This situation is only going downhill.
You have always had my sympathy. Totally and completely. You cannot lose that and I do feel that you deserve so much better Sending strength and peace.@Server8462
1) How have your days been? Would you like to share anything with us?
I haven't been doing well. I've been tired and have had bad headaches every other day. I've been struggling with the news about my younger sister being homeless for two months, not one, like my mother originally told me.
I've had to force myself to do everyday tasks like chores because my home is messy, my dishes haven't been done, and so on.
Today I've been struggling to do things, period. I just don't see the point of certain things. I managed to move the garbage cans for tomorrow's trash day then came back inside to do nothing but play video games.
2) What have you done to take better care of yourself recently?
I did some dishes. I took a shower in the morning. I took extra ibuprofen for my headaches.
3) List five of your greatest personality traits.
Serious, polite, cheerful (when I'm not so depressed or I'm working hard to hide it), loyal, and caring.
It sounds like you really need support at the moment - emotional support. What kinds of friends can you call on to talk? Are you still seeing a therapist? Depression can be really rough especially when it gets deep. @integrityblues
@bestVase7265
Hey, bestVase.
I can call on my best friend, but she's dealing with her own issues at the moment, so I'm attempting to be respectful. If she has time to spare later on this week I'll ask for a phone call.
I'm not seeing a therapist anymore. I just don't have the energy to bother with getting a new one. My depression wouldn't be nearly as bad if so many things hadn't gone wrong all at once. I really am trying my best.
It is when lots of things go bad at once that depression gets the roughest. Friends want to be there for one another. Even if your friend is going through a lot, knowing that she might be helping you just be listening can actually improve things for her. When you can, do try to look for a therapist again. They can also help. @integrityblues
@bestVase7265
Thanks, bestVase.
I did ask my friend if we could talk this week and she said yes, so that's nice. I just don't like bothering her with my problems. I'm also prepping for my neurology appointment tomorrow.
Good luck. I know that those appointments can be a little challenging. @integrityblues
Hey there!
1) I'm on my leave these days so everything seems to be fine and easy... I even have some time for myself, so i actually feel better now.
2) Not just one thing, but it try to take better care of myself, overall. Also I found a little time to do some yoga.
3) Five? That's hard. I'm funny, caring, smart, self-reliant and sincere...
It is so awesome that you are finding time to rest. @versatilePear4061
1) How have your days been? Would you like to share anything with us?
Some days have been hard but the last few days I've been pretty okay. Work usually drains me but I've worked hard to not spiral and get distracted with everything and rather the task at hand and this has definitely helped.
2) What have you done to take better care of yourself recently? +
I've started eating healthier! Definitely has helped me feel a bit better physically and mentally :)
3) List five of your greatest personality traits ^^
1. Caring
2. Empathetic
3. Optimistic
4. Hard-working
5. Patient
So what kinds of things are you eating that are healthy and are helping you emotionally? It sounds like your hard work is really paying off. @sleepysnoopy99
@kdsyahirah
I don't know what to write here . There is just too much wrong with my life . Living in toxic and depressive environment + my dead failed career + my brother's depression which seems to be getting worse + my own mental health which is hitting a new low everyday . And the list goes on and on . I have absolutely no idea what on earth have I done to deserve all this . Eventually , a point will come where I might succumb to all this . 😥😔👎
I know how frustrated you are. But you are stronger than you know. You need therapy and new meds. Keep seeking them out. @calmsoulmeet
@bestVase7265
Honestly , I doubt if either of them will work . Have lost all hope and faith . Perhaps , only a miracle out of somewhere can bail me out of this crisis .
Sorry I sound so pessimistic . :(
The depression is causing the pessimism. This is a fight where you have to ignore those voices. I know what I am asking is really, really hard and seems impossible. But you don't really lose anything by trying again. @calmsoulmeet
@bestVase7265
How I wish it was the depression talking . In my head I am pretty convinced about what I mentioned , that my life is all but over . Besides , I am so not a fan of building castles in the air .I mean some people are just cursed for life . :( .
I apologize for all this . You are trying so wholeheartedly to help me and lift me up from my mess. And here I am , being adamant and stubborn . Sorry. :(
Remember that I am looking in from the outside and inside at the same time. I have been in your shoes and I know how hard it is to come by hope. You don't bother me in the least if you say you aren't feeling it.
But I also know from the outside that your brain is creating "a reality" that simply isn't true. There is no one beyond hope or progress. Period. Ever. It is easy for your brain to create these lying narratives. The bad chemicals want you to lose hope so that they can continue to build. You think that it is cold rationality talking but it is really emotional despair.
You can do this and get better. The bottom rational line is that there is no other choice. @calmsoulmeet
I feel it. Honestly, it’s ok to feel that way. It’s ok to not be ok. I just hope you can find just one small thing that can keep you going. When I was at my lowest point and it felt like my entire family and support group was giving up on me, I would write in my journal for hours. I never felt instantly better but it made me feel less alone and I still do it even on my good days. I also took up blogging when everyone gave up on me and that led to me learning to code which is now my passion. Sorry for the long post but if you need to talk, I’ve been in a similar situation as it sounds like you’re in and I don’t want you to feel alone.