Family

@compassionateCar7091

That sounds like a plan ... i think many people have someone whom they just avoid in family situations....

My parents got divorced three years ago, when I was eleven, because my mom cheated on my dad with someone she stayed with  after the divorce was finalized. My brother chose to stay with my dad who is now married and has a baby with my mom's partner's ex that was the one who told my dad that my mom was cheating in him. I chose to stay with my mom and the man she cheated with because at that time it seemed the best option. The first two years were great, my mom and Octavian, her partner, were paying attention to me, including me in almost everything, not keeping secrets, I can say that they were even loving me. That was until october 2024, when my mom and Octavian wete fighting a lot and Octavian left without goodbyes or anything for two months. My mom was heartbroken and so was I to see her that way. I decided I was never going to forgive Octavian. After two months, Octavian suddenly came back and my mom and him got back together ,,loving each other more then ever". As I said I will never forget Octavian, so of course things between me and him could never be the same and he noticed that. The thing that surprises me the most is the fact that he thought things would just go back to normal. Anyways, since October last year we had a cold relationship, only talking occasionally just because my mom was there. That was that, but recently, one month ago, my mom and him went running and my mom left her phone home. I went through her messages with Octavian and found some very disturbing photos and messages. I also came upon the fact that my mom has been forwarding my messages to her, my most personal chats with her, the ones she swore to me she would never share. I also found out that my mom and Octavian are obsessed with having a baby. They are getting merried in September this year. I can not accept the marriage, and for sure not the baby. Octavian has been behaiving awfully with me, and anytime I simply try to tell my mom that she just throws in my face the fact that he does so many things and sacrifices for me(she is behind all of them). My mom is great, but when it comes to Octavian,  she is another person. She takes his side in everything even if he's wrong. When I'm alone with her she's jus my old great mom that I once loved sharing things with her. Unfortunately, recently, it came to my attention that not even our face-to-face chats aren't private anymore. In the past days I tried confronting them about everything, but I simply can't, I don't have the courage and I start crying, which doesn't help at all. Maybe you think that having another baby is not that bad, but trust me, I saw what it did to my brother. I don't know what to do, because I can't confront my mom. I don't believe in second chances, and if you ask me, someone who leaves once, won't hesitate to do it again, that's my opinion about Octavian. All I can do is pray to God they don't get married, because once that's done, I'm done, me and my opinions.

@compassionateCar7091

That is a very wise way to deal with this situation. We all have such family members or people in our life, who we only tolerate because of some reason or the other. It's also a sign of your maturity that you're not letting your dislike of this person getting in the way of the bond you feel or the bond you're trying to make with the members of his family.

@compassionateCar7091

Hi, the way how you treat with your family member is really wise and thoughtful, it is okay if you just don't want to meet someone if this person doesn't fit in your world, especially you are not hurting the person or saying something bad about the person. You did so well :)

Hello compassionateCar7091,

There is nothing wrong with creating healthy boundaries or creating distance with family members you may disagree with. I love that you put yourself first and I love that you're mature to keep the peace when necessary. If you ever need to talk don't hesitate to reach out. Stay incredible and unstoppable.💪

@compassionateCar7091

It's pretty touch and exhausting. I have actually been there. I have to put up with my bf's brother who is constantly making chaos in the house (when he is eating, or just passing by leaving socks and shirts all over), and never speaking to me. He is very introverted and at times disrespectful. I have spoken to my bf for all this he acknowledges the problem. The thing is that their parents should find a way to communicate with him. It isn't the role of my bf to babysitting him...he is an adult!

@compassionateCar7091

That is a tough situation to be in. It’s okay to have complicated feelings about family members, and it’s valid to set those internal boundaries to get through the day.

Sending you strength for the next time you have to be in that environment

@compassionateCar7091

You like a family but not a family member, and you want to put up too. This seems like a plan and decision.

BTW, why don't you like ?