What is the healthiest family you have known/seen?
Hi everyone! I hope you are well. Let's take a break from talking about our own family and focus our attention outwards.
Think of all the people you have interacted with, be it friends, extended family, colleagues etc think of all the families you came across and reflect on a family that seems the healthiest/happiest/most connected. What do they do that seems to matter the most in achieving this result?
If you can't think of any real life examples, you can think of TV/Movie families and answer the same question.
@Hope My irl friend's family. My friend is pretyy smart but instead of pressuring her to be the best or pressuring her siblings to be as good as her the parents make it clear that it's okay to have hard times and not be 100% okay all the time :0 honestly ive met the family only a few times but theyre supportive, welcoming, caring, literally all of the above :0
@Hope
While this is an interesting topic starter and I feel that we can observe and perhaps even glean pointers from what appears to be happy / healthy family units. Often most only see the public image not behind closed doors or hidden conflict.
TV is even worse as the scripted arguments are all wrapped up in on -two episodes.... this often IMO gives people a false sense of conflict resolution ... IRL sometimes resentment and lack of trust linger after a problem on TV they forgot the "fight" of last episode.
I grew up with a best friend whose family seemed at odd as children but as adults her siblings whom she fought often as a pre-teen -teen age ........as adults were all connected supportive and friends.
My family was opposite as we were OK at young age and connected ........as adults we are all estranged.
i asked friend to help break down the difference and we simply did not find the link or the special thing that made her siblings click etc. i have met many whom have had this situation where they look good from outside and then it all falls like a house of cards.
comparison often adds stress to people who feel " this person or that family are functioning ok what is wrong with us? "
@Hope
My husband's family is hands down the healthiest family I know. I feel incredibly lucky to have married into it. His parents are still happily married. My husband is one of 5 children - 4 of whom are married - 2 have children of their own, bringing the family grand total to 15! My mother in law makes every effort to get everyone together as much as possible. Everyone gets the same love and attention and she never makes anyone feel uncomfortable. Each child, spouse and grandchild gets a birthday dinner where everyone else is invited.
When we first started dating, I found this incredibly exhausting because my family was all about outward appearance, and not about actually celebrating each other. We would have birthday parties, but, in hindsight, they were more about inviting people outside the immediate family to show off how "normal" we were. As the scapegoat in my family, I make every effort to be quiet and out of sight, so I don't attract the wrong kind of attention.
My husband's family is teaching me to be happy to be who I am even though they don't know it. I have a long way to go, but I know their accepting and supportive presence is what I need most. Watching my in-laws raise their kids has been a very eye-opening experience for me - in a good way. They show me that I am not crazy for feeling as though I was treated poorly as a kid. They prove that you can raise children without treating every situation with hostility and anger. It gives me hope for the children we will have someday. I just love them all so much.
There is no family without disputes and irregularities, like a body with allergies. Healthy isn't an option to choose. It's us who should build it through emotional situations and feelings. So, you are healthy already. Just try to make it stronger.
Definitely modern family, talking bout the show
@Hope
I’d probably have to say my brother’s wife’s family so far. Everytime I see her parents, they really seem like they’re happy and accepting of everything and have a good relationship with each other. Her brother is married too and they seem the same way. Her brother’s wife asked me to take a picture of them together and I did. After they saw it, they really appreciated the picture and loved it and they thanked me. The grandmother is really nice too.
I haven’t actually met them but one of my brother’s bandmates posted his appreciation for his mom on I think her bday or something and based on that it seems they have a good relationship with each other.
While it’s great to see family members getting along and having healthy relationships with each other, it’s also difficult too bc it makes me wish I had that with the family members I don’t have it with even though I’ve accepted how things are with them and that bc of how they are, a healthy relationship with them just isn’t a reality bc the type of people they are does not work for me. They are too toxic.