Do Good Men Exist?

@jesusredeemedme2425 I'm probably not the best person to answer this question. I've had a lot of bad experiences. However, I can say with certainty that good men do exist. Here's why.

7 Cups gives me some evidence. I may not have met anyone here in person, but I see an authenticity in time and self that men have spent helping and listening. I see kindness and patience in situations where I'm not even sure if I would always be kind of patient. I have seen protectiveness and genuine caring as people get to know each other better. 

Men are made in God's image. We are all human, and we all stray from the narrow way from time to time. But God also gave us the tools to keep trying to come back and be better. Keep in mind that the narrow way is narrow, so statistically we're all likely to encounter more bad behavior in both men and women than good. 

I'm not sure if anyone is explicitly good or bad. We're all somewhere in the middle. When we find the good acts, they are special and valuable.

I think it's natural that if there are good women, there must also be good men.

I know it's easy for me to tell you to be hopeful or patient, that the right one is coming. Even when this is true, I also know you're the one dealing with any loneliness, disappointment, etc each day. It's ok to feel how you're feeling. I have been there. Technically I am there. I am still waiting for my good man.

The best advice I can give you is to give this Completely to God. I know. I have been told this my whole life, give it to God, trust God. I knew to do it, I tried to do it, I thought I was doing it. But it took me half a lifetime to realize that in actually, in the background, I wasn't doing that hardly at all. I was still trying to figure everything out. I was still trying to pick situations apart, understand God's will with my limited understanding, have a plan. It was my attempt to protect myself and not get hurt. It's understandable. But over and over I continued to get hurt anyway, despite my best efforts to avoid or manage everything. What's getting me through right now has been a slow process of my life falling apart and realizing that I literally ran out of alternate routes. I prayed and felt a strong desire to surrender, but not in resentment like I had in the past. I felt love for God like I've always wanted to for a father. My body and mind were so tired all they wanted to do was rest. So I let them at His feet. I took a deep breath, relaxed my body, and breathed out everything I think I want. I stopped focusing so much on what I think I'm entitled to, the comparison of what I think I see everyone else having, this solid ideal I've built in my mind that doesn't make room for what God's better plan might be. I began to realize how much I was chasing that are things of this world. So I'm taking care of the basics, doing what I need to for myself, keeping my mind and heart busy with food for my soul. There is a great deal of peace in not feeling like you have to know all your next steps.

I say all this because after getting to know you I know these things are important to you too. Pray for a Christ-like man. Pray for a relationship centered around God that is a model of His love and shines His glory. Pray that He continues to work in you to further develop the fruits of the Spirit. Try not to focus on our earthly human insecurities and vulnerabilities. God will give you a man that already fulfills the safety and true love that you need and will help you continue to blossom. We don't know the time, but He will hear your prayers. I will keep you in mine as well.

Green flags from my husband, from when we met onward:

We could have met in college, since we were in the same program and our time there overlapped, but our paths didn't cross until about a year after I graduated, when his work transferred him to where I was working.

He spoke to me like I was a regular person before we started dating, instead of outright flirting.

He waited patiently for me to accept a first date with him, without pressuring me.

We have the same core beliefs and values.

He reassured me while we were dating that even though I was going back to school in another state, as long as sex wasn't in the equation yet, and as long as we trusted each other we could have a strong distance relationship. He was right! We talked on the phone every day, and we visited each other every couple months. The more we talked, the more we liked each other. Less than a year into our relationship I really wanted to marry him.

He enjoys giving gifts to his friends and family.

He is working on himself.

He sticks with me even when I am at my worst.

He gently communicates his needs.

He does his best to understand me.

He was the only man I dated after I became a Christian and after prayed about my future husband. I gave God my criteria: Patient, kind, not easily angered, humble... and loves nature! God sure delivered! We have been doing our best to keep God at the center of our relationship.

There are many good mens too...not every mens are bad.... Don't lose ur hope...

So, going to be super vulnerable and honest here. I came from a very shattered outlook on love, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. I had been abused in every way possible, cheated on, broken down to where I felt like I was nothing.... I had been single for a long time - focusing more on my faith, myself, my children, and my small Photography business.

I ended up downloading a dating app -yeah very cliche - but, this app allows the women to message first.

I matched with a guy on there - we chatted through the app for a few weeks and I finally gave him my number. Never once did he ask or beg or even step out of line.

Several weeks later, we went on our first date. It went amazing. We grabbed tacos on my lunch break, laughed the whole time, and he was a true gentleman. Chivalrous. Sweet. Protective. Neither of us wanted a second date because we both came from bad relationships and crummy pasts. A few days later, he asked if I'd meet him for dinner. A few days later, we had our 3rd date. We've been inseparable since.

He gets my door, takes care of me when I'm sick, helps with chores, helped heal parts of me he didn't break. He grows his faith with me, we are more than just husband and wife. We're best friends. We pray over one another, we date one another, we spoil one another (and we don't do it with just money).

We drove 17 hours to vacation at South Carolina, where he asked me to marry him on a Saturday morning on the beach. We've been married almost 2 years. We have a life I never dreamed of having.

I have a husband I had spent many years praying for. A home. A life.

So yes, good men are out there - mine is one of them. They're not perfect men - they come with flaws, scars, attitudes, baggage - but they are out there. JJ

Everyone is human. Perfection takes time

@jesusredeemedme2425

I choose not to respond; instead, I would like to share a poem:

I'm on the bench

where we first kissed.

Three years ago.

Now you're my wife.

Paper shakes in my hands.

Not from cold.

From you.

From us.

This is what I write:

"My love,

This morning

you slept on my shoulder.

I didn't move for an hour.

I married you

not because you're perfect—

but because you're perfect for me.

Your messy hair.

Your loud laugh.

The way you steal the blankets.

I don't have much.

Just this ring.

Just this heart.

Just these hands

that want to hold yours

forever.

I'll leave this letter

where you'll find it.

I'll be nearby.

Pretending I'm not nervous.

Yours,

Always,

Still can't believe it,

Your husband."

I fold it slow.

Place it in your book.

Page 42.

You'll find it later.

You'll cry.

You'll keep it.

I'll be watching,

pretending not to,

still can't believe

you're mine.

Idk about that but I wanna man who calms my nervous system 🤪😭

Yes.

Omg yes. My best friend is one of them. He is an amazimg guy and the first HUMAN i 100% trust, i have never met a women thats good enough, how u feel about men in this post is how i sorta feel about women -.-' x.x. but i understand either way. I met him in a very odd way, but is my red string best friend FOR SURE

I’m glad I saw this post on my feed again. 

I just had THE BEST interaction with a male employee in the hardware store. He approached me and asked what project I was doing. Gave me a few pointers, made sure I didn’t forget things, he was so kind!!! 

They do exist ❤️ I don’t think I would have been able to see gratitude and appreciation had I not opened my eyes to it a bit. And years ago, I probably would have dismissed him.