Do Good Men Exist?
Please tell me your stories… Your green flags, your experiences, the safe men in your life… Please give me hope…
i’ve met so many guys and had so many male friends in my life who are caring and kind people. when i was younger i used to be sort of pessimistic, but as i began to love myself more and shift away from that pessimistic mindset i really started seeing the good in everyone. in men i know, it’s the way they’re so respectful towards women like you can tell they were raised well they would never swear at a woman or yell or put their hands on her. and in general there are just so many kind and mature people out there.
i’ll give you one of my experiences
i had this guy friend who i was in love with a year ago
i was at the darkest point in my life at that time when i met him, and i thought he was going to be a stereotypical popular boy but he was actually so sweet that it surprised me. everything about him is so lovable, he’s very good natured and gets along well w teachers and our classmates. he would always like joke around with me and make me laugh and i felt completely safe around him like i could be vulnerable and all. i also noticed how he never talked bad about people and it touched me how kind he is to everybody. cuz yk those popular boys are rude sometimes and hate on girls who aren’t popular or who they don’t find attractive, but he was just so surprisingly kind that it really warms my heart. like he never makes fun of anyone or shames anyone and is openly sweet to people that he has no reason to be sweet to. with me since we were a thing, the way he made his jokes were very specific. in a way that paid attention to detail, it made me feel special and singled out rather than targeted. with everything he says, he’s always careful not to hurt anybody’s feelings. he used to get bullied as a kid so i guess it makes sense that he’s so emotionally intelligent now. because usually with my guy friends they always come up with unique insults or make mean jokes which friends do all the time, but he doesn’t. every time he jokes it’s softly, one of my friends said this thing about him: even when he jokes you always know its coming from a good place. and i feel like thats so true. he is so SO careful to not actually be mean or hurt anybody’s feelings. but it’s sort of effortless for him. anyway i’ve noticed the way he doesn’t care about people’s looks or their social status and he’s just kind to everybody naturally which is rare in school.
green flag: when men can be friends with women without romantic involvement. most people think it’s a green flag when a guy has no female friends or when he doesn’t talk to a lot of girls, but i disagree entirely. he needs girls in his social circle. guys with girls in their social circle understand us better, they usually know how to treat girls because they’re literally friends with girls, which is proof they can empathize with them. and besides, girls usually put guys in their place. you might be worried about your man having girl friends but i trust girls and i would trust them to call him out for treating me some type of way. i’m not even talking about relationships, just with friendships, it’s a good sign if a guy is able to talk to you as just a friend or if he has female friends who he clearly doesn’t like romantically because it proves that rather than seeing you as an object of value, he sees you as a person to be respected. he sees you as your own being and knows you have your own goals, life, etc
This. Men are allowed to have female friends, even when in a relationship. I didn’t mind that my ex had female friends; he was faithful to me and that’s all that mattered <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
The best strong man alive in my life is my father. He is a loving and caring kind hearted man. He was a provider (now retiree of 78 yrs old) to family that needed feeding. Worked hard, overtimes and long hours to provide his family the best he can. I cherish every single minute he spent with us and those moments that he couldn’t. A man who always believed that things will always get better and it did. He’s my best friend.
I grew up believing all men did as much for their loved ones. Every man I spoke to proved me wrong. Men that knew little about life, responsiblity, and support. Restless men who thought money is the solution to everything. I’m not saying all men are. I have met few who were as good as my father if not better. Yes good men do exist but they have not come across me yet. I might sound picky or bitter but I do believe a man can do what needs to be done. I’m still single cuz the good man has not come to my life. I’m exhausted, tired and drained. I just hope in my soul that this good man can make it to me and can take it away.
To all women, May a good man come to your way cuz you deserve one for being a good woman.
All love to you all 🥰
@jesusredeemedme2425
@Ailuraphilelove8tear9
As a guy, I can relate to Ailura's upbringing. I have been with the same partner for over 4 decades, throughout there has been verbal and mental abuse from my spouse BUT I have always been there and never have I raised my voice or hand. Always treat my daughters with respect as well.
I like to think that I have my pops to thank for my up bringing. It was never a loving household but he always treated my mother with respect for over 50 years.
So yes, there are good guys out there and unfortunately not so good guys out there. I hope one day you do find the guy who is right for you. 💙🤗😊
@QuietByNature
You are one of the greatest men I know 🩷🤗
@Amanda84
Awe, Thank you
You are top shelf as well. 😊🤗
@QuietByNature
Dont we know it 😂😂😂😂🩷💚
Good men do exist. Keep an open mind. Notice those who notice you. The smile back, the door opener, the gentle one. Hang in there. He’s out there!
Yes, absolutely they exist but I have experienced women to like more dominating, toxic trait personality men.
Your previous post on here "i need love" showed you quite a lot of "good" men full of compassion, and empathy for your specific request.
Guessing at the number of men on this platform alone that joined to be listeners should be an indicator of what's out there. The biggest problem is, 99% of us dont look like Dwayne Johnson. That's why most have given up on dating or looking for someone.
To ask if they exist is the same as asking if good women really exist. The answer is obvious, but the problem is lived experience on a personal basis.
The better inquiry would be, "I know there are great men out there. What actions do i need to take to find the one right for me?" Search your soul, ask it what it NEEDS, NOT WHAT IT WANTS. Then you'll be on your first step to finding the great guy you've always dreamed of.
The heart is deceptive, it will lead you in the wrong decision and direction. Trust instead your gut. The heart wants chemistry, but chemical reactions always go away as fast as they came.
Remember 1 Corinthians 13: 1-13 tells us exactly what love is. The Greek had divided love into 3 versions
Eros: Passionate, romantic love driven by desire.
Philia: Deep, loyal friendship or "brotherly" love.
Agape: Unconditional, selfless love for others.
AGAPE is the love i believe Paul is referring to in his 1at letter to the Corinthians.
We exist. but you have to be capable of reciprocating this for it to be everlasting on the soul mate level.
Sorry for the lack of brevity.
S
@Irwendol Your reply really spoke to me in my own situation, thank you! We really do need to get to know ourselves and what our souls most need in a partner. What we think we want can sometimes be based on old wounds we're trying to repair with a new/similar person. We repeat relationship patterns until we learn to authentically move past them. For me, I believe it's involved breaking down completely and rebuilding the pieces of my whole life in a new way. I have to be a better version of myself to find the better person for me.
I also loved seeing that someone else is familiar with the different Greek words for love. It's such a beautiful distinction that we don't really have in English. I believe it's the Agape love that comes from God that is supposed to be modeled in human marriage.
@piecesofwhoeverIwas
I'm glad that post spoke to you.
I've been blessed with learning so much about myself, love, God, and how they are supposed to all intertwine.
I've been single for 14 years in purpose because after my marriage ended, i was in a headspace that let Good in and he showed me so much of myself that was broken and wrong, that must be fixed before doing anything else. I'll point to this video on that. It decision and beautiful at the same time.
https://share.google/yOgcRFwAOl8ajgGkH
Before i always did what my heart wanted. And it landed me at a point in my life where i was starting over for a 3rd time. Something had to change, so i started with doing the opposite of what my heart wanted. That lead me to the placei am now, where i know the kind of love i need, i know the right one will come on God's timing not mine, as painful as waiting is.,. Grrr. But I'm pleased i have waited because my end goal is lifetime/eternity with one person. So i look forward to being the husband i know i am, to the one that chooses me on a never ending daily basis, Agape love.
But i can't take credit for any improvement in me. It was all God's doing, and me not being a Serial knucklehead and follow his lead.
I had no intention of sharing so much about myself lol. So please forgive the long post...
@Irwendol
Hello, I believe any woman with the right heart, soul, values and ability to reciprocate, would need nothing but a man who believes “ to being the husband I knows Iam to the one who chooses me on a never ending daily basis, Agape love”. The unconditional selfless lover for others that no sane mind can deny nor decline. Believe me also when I say that a woman that is capable of reciprocating will never look for Dwayne Johnson in all men. I’m not sure if its the muscles or his hairless head you’re referring to :p. Neither hair nor muscles can define a man that can make a woman’s mind, heart and whole being feel settled, secured and safe. Actions speak louder than words. Hearts can be softer than hands. Femininity reacts to masculinity.
I hope you don’t mind me barging as your words were beautifully spoken from a heart that certainly will cherishe a soulmate and is looking forward to be together on a time that’s defined right for both of you.
I don't think you were barging in on anything. You have just as much right to speak your mind as i do. I welcome comments on my posts, especially respectful ones, like yours.
As far as the "no sane mind....... could deny The unconditional selfless lover for others.." trust me when I say there are people out there that will turn it down. And sometimes it's for the dumbest reasons you could possibly think of. And let me also say that for a woman to find that, and for any man that wants to find that, it takes the same dedication, of not more, in the beginnimg, that it takes 30 years into the same relationship. I truly believe love is a choice and to be able to make a well-informed choice. It takes time to learn what you need to learn to make that choice. It's easy to choose someone that you just met and you've got flying fireworks going on when you're around them but once all that is over with, to me and I've been asked this before," what do I consider an active love to be? How does one show their love to someone besides intimacy?" My answer to that question is very simple, it'll be a cold glass of water on a scorching summer day while doing yard work. I know that falls under acts of service in the love languages but... To me that speaks more to me than anything words could ever say. I'm definitely in actions person over words. Words words are worthless unless they are in parallel with the behavior and actions. If you watch a person like say on a park bench and people watching, you can tell a person's heart by what they do. Even if it's the smallest thing of picking up a piece of paper that someone dropped in handing it back to them, so too, I believe that what is in someone's heart? What lives in someone's heart is exactly what they do on the outside in the exterior. So yeah.. I think I've rattled on enough LOL. Thanks for your reply. It's much appreciated.
@Irwendol
Thank you for your kind words. They felt genuine and sincere. I’ll make sure to hydrate you when doing the yard and give you company when sitting at the bench. If you ever drop something, will definitely not give it back :p
Thank you again for this thorough thoughtful reply.
Be warned this old horse plays dirty. If someone runs away with" myyyyyyy prechhhhioussssssss" things get escalated to H²0 projectiles or even hoses! Haha ð¤£
You're welcome, always a pleasure. Anytime !
No
I've heard the rumour too, that they do exist, maybe they are rare, I'm not sure, I've never met one, the ones that I have always made me question my looks and personality....
@ScrabbleBrain
If they make you question your looks or personality, they are clown's, simple 💚
@ScrabbleBrain
Oh, look, I'm considered RARE 😊
I'm sorry that you had to endure males that did not value you, for who you are.
I am glad that you have come to recognize the ones that do not value you for who you are. 😊🤗
@QuietByNature Thanks Unicorny, the thing about constant mis-treatment, you sense what to look for and avoid and now I have no cause for it
@jesusredeemedme2425 YES ! it all starts with BELIEVING that and remaining open to and honest connection. I am a very independent woman who swore I would never get married because it was an outdated tradition but I managed to find the most amazing man and we got married in September. Nobody is perfect obviously we're all human but really I just started to truly identify my own value and what I had to offer and believe that I was worthy of honest connection with a real soul. Allowing myself to feel worthy of the things I want was the door that opened to allow it to come in. Your perception creates your reality! Manifest that pure soul by truly believing you deserve it 🤍 YOU'RE WORTHY 🤍
Congratulations btw <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 tysm 🙏
Hello
@rejuvenated01
Hey hi 💞
How are u doing? 💕
I am doing good and You?