I feel like giving up
Hey everyone! I have been going through it. Most of you who know me on here know that I'm closeted trans. It's been really hard recently. I have a very strong disconnect between online life and my real life. People online shower me with praise, call me pretty. The people I've shown my face too say I look beautiful and my clothes are nice but in real life every sees me as a guy. I have become so depressed and desperate that I have been sharing with online strangers very deep personal things about my life. I don't know what to do. My loneliness is becoming to much of a burden. There's was one really intense connection I had with a guy online for two days who made me feel so gross but I gave into because I was lonely... I don't know what to do... I walked off my job in the middle off helping a customer. My room is disgustingly dirty... I haven't changed my sheets in months... I don't care much about anything right now. I can't focus at all. I feel like I completely gave up on life
So I'm only tagging my bff's on here though I don't mean to offend anyone by not tagging, I just don't have the power in me tonight to tag everyone
@jesusredeemedme2425
@carefulEast6708
@SmackyMcGee
@Amanda84
If people want to be added for future stuff I could expand, again please don't think I'm trying to leave you out ❤️ just would really like these people to see this
Would you like me to add my taglist? No pressure, just an offer <3
@jesusredeemedme2424
Maybe that would cool, I just don't want to tag people who don't want to see what I'm posting lol
No worries, I'll let you choose <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
You know what I could use the love... Go ahead and tag people! 💖💖💖
Absolutely! <3
@ShadowFaerie @unassumingEyes @Sunisshiningandsoareyou @sadcat13 @Amanda84 @goldenduckling @mytwistedsoul @Tinywhisper11 @LovemyMoonflowers @GreenLime3141 @7Bear7 @Phoenixthepoised @Torean @GentleHealingInitiative @cyanessence @YourCaringConfidant @CaringEzra @NobleSeeker @fossilfellow @BastionKnight @trueconfidant123 @safeplace288 @lovingCat6978 @reservedOwl321 @dapperNest2125 @Creamyyy @naturesbeauty1234 @bubbleSummer9800 @warmheartedHuman836 @Mansbestfriend @Paliloveyourself @Magicpawsoffuture @SelfCareMatters @sabeyesofblue3535 @AiluraTheCat @charmingApple8098 @luvArisu @BlueDarkAurora @curiousbookishness @sympatheticPlace3743 @musawva @KindleMissie @WellsFiction @Angelanj @SunshineJazz @LexListens2025 @Heather225 @agreeableSkies9889 @HopeAura @rainbowBridge46 @sereneMango2512 @SmackyMcGee
I’m adding a taglist to start, but this post is open to absolutely everyone! <3
A lot of them may be asleep FYI (idk if you're in the US, but its late here, no matter what time zone you're in lol!). So if you dont get responses tonight, dont worry. Wait til tomorrow <3
@jesusredeemedme2325
Thank you so much... Yeah I'm in us I'm just too worried to get sleep
Put some gentle music on. It'll help ground you <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Thank you so much ❤️
@agreeableSkies9889
I wish you could see how I see you. You are a truly kind and caring person, I will never forget how, when I was really struggling, you stayed here with me on 7cups and invited me to join the Cult. I know I only see a small part of your life but what I see is a person of immense value. Our culture rewards some traits and practically ignores others. I wish you were somewhere (Vermont 😁) where the people in RL supported and affirmed you.
The cult. Hehe XD
I think you need a mental health day. Just start with that first... Give yourself a chance to breathe and have zero expectations. Do something fun! The other stuff can come later. Just take care of your immediate mental health right now. Call out tomorrow, ok? Its ok. We all take mental health days. Even me. <3
@agreeableSkies9889
We will be misunderstand even we're good. It's not a big deal when people don't like you. We need to accept and move on ❤️.
Be Kirby. Just sleep and pay no attention to what other people think. Hehe <3
@agreeableSkies9889 hey, I'm so sorry you've been going through so much 🙁 feeling stuck between online life and real life could be so exhausting... it makes complete sense that you feel this way.
Please be gentle with yourself 💖 You're not a burden 🤍 Also, I'm really sorry you had bad experiences with that guy online, you didn't deserve that. Don't let his words and actions define your worth — you matter, and deserve someone better ❤️
I can relate to the dirty room part, when you're so overwhelmed with everything... it's normal to feel unorganised.
Maybe you could try clearing up very small spaces of your room, even tiny clean ups could help you feel more like yourself... and clear your headspace a bit.
You've been through a lot. You don't have to figure it all out right now... and you don't have to carry it all alone, we are all here for you 💖 Sending you loads of love and *Biggggg hugs* 💗💗💗
@agreeableSkies9889
hey 🤍 it sounds like youre going through a really tough time rn. I relate with your experience online but you are not defined by what other people think of you. You are confused and struggling right now, and you have done and are going to do things you regret in your search for validation and secutity and thats hard and it sucks but its not world-ending, yeah? You can and you will bounce back from this, and we will be cheering you on.
I'd suggest staying away from one-to-one connections with strangers online, or limit it to those who you trust wont cause you harm or discomfort. Communities like cups forums are better, to vent and for reassurance and support
Lastly, take a moment to just be, without defining what that means or makes you or how youre percieve
And the rest can be worked on, yeah?
@agreeableSkies9889
I am sorry that you are going through such a hard time right now. Your RL circumstances are very difficult. Please know that they are not *you*, It's a social environment that doesn't fit you.
Is there a city or open-minded town in your region that would have a trans support group or community?
@carefulEast6708
Yeah... I'm more so worried about moving out of my parents... I don't make a ton of money... It might be just enough to barely scrape by but I don't know. Trying to get over all my anxiety at once and find a place in my budget at the same time feels very difficult. I have a couple ideas that I'll look at but I have no one to help me and a job that isn't enough...
@agreeableSkies9889
Hey 💛
You know how much you mean to me here
I'm sorry that you are struggling so much
I get the online thing, deep down you know it's not for you and it's not fixing anything but you go along with it,because it's better than feeling nothing but in the end it chips away at you, and doesn't help.
You are going through so much and it must be heartbreaking when others see you as a man.
But what ultimately matters is what you see and how you feel and flipping that switch and those thoughts, consistently and often 💛
When we feel like there's no hope, it's important to rest, give yourself space to process and then slowly start to do little things that make you feel more human.
Because when you are suffering , you need all the small things to feel better 💛
Read this first, even though we are online, we hear you, we care and you matter
You are you 💛
You don't have to have everything figured out at this exact moment in time
Then I would shower.
Have a nice cuppa.
Take those sheets off.
Wash them.
Clean the room.
And then slowly , you start feeling less down in yourself and more able to try and not give up 💛
@Amanda84
Thank you soo much ❤️
And 7cups isn't really the problem. It's more so a couple other apps with less safe guards that I use that I really shouldn't be
@agreeableSkies9889
It's difficult but it's important to try and let those apps go 💛
You don’t have to fix everything all at once. If changing your sheets or cleaning your room feels like too much, that is okay—just focus on getting through one moment at a time. Please step back from anyone online who makes you feel bad or unsafe; your dignity and mental well-being come first.
I don't reply enough in the group chat, and it might feel like you're just getting started, but I gotta say that your courage and motivation is inspiring. There's a lot working against you, but you deserve to find happiness and to feel comfortable to be yourself. Don't forget that. Also, there's nothing wrong with you for wanting connection. As for walking off your job, I can definitely relate to that too.
Hello!
I really don't know what to say since I have never experienced anything like this, but I hear you. It is so exhausting to be judged by people who can't understand in real life. There is some weird disconnect between the offline and online world. Offline, I feel, people don't really have filter or common sense to how someone is feeling or how their actions can hurt others.
I really really hope that you feel a little better soon! 😁 People can really suck sometimes. 😬