My Anarchist “Friend”
TW - Self-harm, someone in crisis
I have this friend, a guy who’s a Satanist, and he’s VERY angry with the world. I don’t remember all the details, but he’s been hurt and abused, gotten into fights, been to jail, etc. He’s very proud of his anger and his rebellion and his anarchy. He revealed to me that he has voices in his head. He cuts himself, laughs about it. He insults me and makes fun of me. One night I was terrified because I thought he’d taken his own life.
I don’t want to leave him feeling more alone than he already does, but I’ve been thinking about blocking him. All he does is bring me down, scare me, hurt me, insult me. Idk… Maybe I care too much. Maybe I’m not upholding my boundaries like I should.
What do you guys think?
@ShadowFaerie
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Wait why are you friends with a Satanist?
@easyScarf7950
@Wazowski91
I mean he sounds possessed by at least one demon…
Yeah, it just keeps getting worse.
What part does darkness have with light?
He has made his choice to reject the light. There's nothing you can do to help him. It's time to cut him out of your life.
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Yeah… He rejects everything I ever say to try to help him.
@jesusredeemedme2425 have you tried sending him deliverance prayers? if there’s anything that he needs is to experience the truth instead of hear about it.
@jesusredeemedme2425 its lovely that you care for him, but that hes insulting you? Making you feel bad? Thats a person to step away from. I wouldnt say block him so much as reduce contact, but if the only way to do that is block him, then i think you should. Thats not to say it wont affect him, but unfortunately, thats how the world is. You cant help someone who doesnt want to be helped. Who knows? This might be a wake-up call for him. Im sorry for both of you- but you deserve to be okay, so do what makes that possible for you
My reply may not be popular, but I’m speaking from my heart after praying on it.
He sounds like someone who is in a lot of pain. His story and behavior even sounds like a lot of people I’ve met here, and I pray he can feel better soon. I don’t think people are beyond help, but it is ok to admit if it is overwhelming or not good for you. It sounds like he confides a lot in you and considers you a good friend. I don’t know all the details about him insulting you, but I know sometimes people who have been through a lot can be really sarcastic to the point of sounding aggressive. Sometimes because they have a self-depreciating manner, they might think it’s ok for you two to pick on each other. It’s ok if your sense of humor is not like that. I can imagine it might sound mean when he does it. And saying all that doesn’t mean you have to be ok with it.
Have you ever tried telling him his picking on you is hurtful? He might not realize. It sounds like you do just want out of this friendship for a lot of reasons though. Personally, I would not just block him. He’s not putting you in danger. That’s not healthy for either of you. If you need immediate zero contact then I would explain to him why even is it’s uncomfortable. It’s going to be hard to do. I know you don’t want to hurt him. You probably don’t need to tell him all the reasons you have to us here, because some of them probably wouldn’t be helpful or necessary. But I promise you it will not give you the kind of relief you’re looking for to cut him off and run without explaining something. Sometimes it can work better to reduce contact. You can gradually reduce more and more, and either he’ll start to accept it on his own or he’ll find someone else to start talking to. You can keep trying to offer him biblical encouragement. You never know how you might have planted a seed, even if he doesn’t tell you that or you don’t see the immediate effects. God only asks of us what we have the power to do, and you still have the ability to kindly let the relationship fizzle out.
You can say to him, "When you do X, I feel Y. I'm not willing to talk to you while you do/ say X. When you stop doing/ saying X, you can reach out to me here [channel of communication], but until then, I don't want to continue talking. If you're struggling and need support, here's a list of resources which can provide support." And then link whatever relevant crisis resources, self-harm harm reduction strategies, or whatever else he might need.
You have a right to protect yourself from harmful behaviour. Your feelings should matter to your friend. If he's really your friend, he will respect that his behaviour is hurting you and he'll do his best to change that. While the self-harming part may be difficult to change, if it's upsetting to talk about, you're allowed to set that boundary too, if it triggers you. The hurtful stuff he calls you however, is never acceptable and no friend ought to be behaving that way towards you. You're allowed to say no to that and walk away if he doesn't stop.
Sending hugs, if wanted. 🫂
If your intention in interacting with him is to get him to stop being a Satanist and convert to Christianity, it may help clarify things to ask him if that's what he wants. Does he want you to help him with that? If not, it might be a violation of his boundaries to keep trying.
If you really think this "friendship" is salvageable, you may try asking if he feels pressure from you to convert to Christianity. This might help clarify his boundaries for the both of you. It may be part of the reason why he's behaving badly, if he feels an unspoken boundary of his is being crossed. It's not an excuse for being insulting and making fun of you, however. Sometimes, people don't know how to say, "When you do X, I feel Y and I don't like that. I would appreciate it if you didn't do this," and instead just lash out.
Either way, I think you should consider taking steps to protect your well-being and set boundaries. Friends will be willing to respect each others' boundaries. If they can't, then it's time to move on.
You gotta put yourself first. Honestly... There's two big issues that I'm seeing. First, is the insulting and making fun of you... Which, for that, I feel like maybe confronting it in a way that you let him know you won't tolerate it anymore would be good. But .. if he's skirting taking his own life and seeking attention on it... Maybe it is best to just block him. That way he can't use his self-harm against you and pull you in even more.
Overall, he sounds like he's got a lot of pain inside... But he doesn't need friends at this point so much as he needs help. I hope you get this figured out. I'm here for you as always either way.
@jesusredeemedme2425
That's so tough, he's in alot of pain, and danger, but he is also making his own choices, and insulting you or letting you think he took his own life is not on at all. You cannot take everything on your shoulders, no one is beyond help but you may not have the necessary help that he needs. It has to be your decision if you remain friends or not, but never compromise your own health for anyone, doesn't make you a bad person 🥰💜
