Self-Disgust

@jesusredeemedme2425

hi kiara! i just wanted to pop in <3

i've seen you active in some posts on the ED support community, and i look at your forum posts ocassionally when they come up for me, and i really understand feeling this way and how awful it feels to be uncomfortable in your own skin, feeling full, and suffering from overeating disorders.

i know how much guilt is probably surrounding you and how terrible it is sitting with the feeling 'heaviness', hating yourself and not being able to take back things you've eaten after youve done so unconsciously.

i am a teen, so i really haven't been able to chat with you, but your openess about overeating disorders really really makes so many feel seen, as not as much light is shined on it compared to anorexia and bullimia, and it is horribily brutal, and it can feel so super alone. because it is different from 'eating too much' or just 'overeating.. i'll be fine tommrow or the next day', it is driven by serious mental factors and food becomes addiction, it becomes toxic 'love' even again, i understand you feel this way i truly do, but it really hurts to read at the same time.

you bring so much light to this community, providing amazing comfort and support to those with EDs, always sharing fun little questions that help those of us who are struggling and engange the whole community even slightly distracting us away from what we are going through, even for a second, and i think that is SUCH a beautiful thing. you have a beautiful mind, you are truly a beautiful person. i always love when i see your comments on someone's post looking for support. you really are truly awesome, not a whale.. not fat, you are awesome.

it's okay to have low points, and days that just feel awful. you've been through alot. i could go on, but i will spare your eyes lol, i just wanted to remind you of all the light you've brought too everyone in the community, especially from your vunlerability and honesty in the ED community, and just in general <3 <3

@jesusredeemedme2425

Kiara, I'm not going to patronise you or tell you how to feel it dismiss your feelings, I'm glad you can open up here, to be incredibly vulnerable and open is brave. It doesn't matter if you are the most beautiful person in the whole world, when to don't see it and it's not registering, it's just not clicking, it's so painful, and people cannot make you see it, they can see the words but in yourself you need to feel it. I am here for you exactly where you are at, to listen and just hold a quiet space for you, with no judgement and not trying to tell you what to feel, but ease be kind to yourself when the horrible thoughts are flying around your head, and don't let them simply overtake you, here, you are not alone 💜🥰

@jesusredeemedme2425 ❤️❤️❤️

@jesusredeemedme2425 oh no... it'll pass... the mind is a very complex organ.. it has a way of deceiving us at times.. don't believe it impulsively 💛

@jesusredeemedme2425

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling this way; feeling disgusted with our own body is such an awful feeling and my heart goes out to you. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share it with us 💛 

@jesusredeemedme2425 💖

we all have good and bad body image days. today was probably not your day . it could be that your stressed or you haven’t been thinking abt yourself lately. do some self care and evaluate your stress level. and replace those hurtful negative thoughts with kind words and think of what you have achieved today. remember that you are beautiful and you could possibly be someone’s type ❤️

I'm a dietician and we can work on it xD it's not impossible to be your ideal self again.

I think everyone is a bit self conscious of their looks and posture no matter who you are. It starts with being able to love yourself for who you are before you can find true happiness in life. But if you don’t do anything about the things you don’t like about yourself then you’re not helping yourself or your happiness.