Sucidal ideation
Before reading this know that I am safe!!!
Suicidal thoughts have haunted me for years. I’m trapped in a body desperate to survive, while my mind quietly begs for release. I try so hard to hold on, but the exhaustion is beyond words. I cry for hours aching, breaking wondering if the world would be lighter without me in it. I reach out to therapists and psychiatrists, swallow my medication, and do everything in between, yet these thoughts always catch up to me. The scariest thought is that one day, my mental health might be what ends it all.
@Lindsey103
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Im so sorry you feel this way, it's exhausting and confronting it even having these thoughts, doesn't define every part of you, you shouldn't have to shove them down, talking about them really takes the intensity out of them. It seems like they'll never stop, but it won't mean, they'll have to overcome you, you matter, and are not alone here 💕💜
@Amanda84
They're definitely alot to handle sometimes. Thank you so much for letting me know I matter and I'm not alone ❤️
It sucks having that feeling day in and day out. Days turn into weeks and months of suffering and you wonder when is it all going to end. Ive been there from time to time in my life. But sprinkled in sometimes there's slightly better days. Those are the days I look forward to. A small glimmer of hope that one day I will be at peace one way or another.
@redTiger2146
Something I've been trying to remember is that no matter how dark it gets the suns going to rise again. I hate that these are feelings you've delt with as well these feelings can be absolutely exhausting.
I’ve dealt with these thoughts too. *hugs*
@jesusredeemedme2425
I'm so sorry you've had the same thoughts my heart goes out to you <3 thank you for your support.
Thank you <3
It’s really hard… Have you reached out to people? Friends?
@jesusredeemedme2425
I have a psychiatrist I've been staying in touch with and I'm looking for a new counselor however it's something I try not to bother my friends with as I don't want to seem like a attention seeker 😅
If you can trust them, I would tell them. Maybe little by little. It helps a lot, trust me…
@jesusredeemedme2425
I’ll definitely consider reaching out to friends, though that’s a lot easier said than done.
I am at a point in my life where I dont have anyone i can truly trust and open up to and I think thats what is making my current state of mind much worse. I had a therapist and she suddenly just told me to go seek therapy elsewhere and it really threw me off because I relied on her for support. And she did it at a time when she KNEW I was struggling ( my relationship had just ended) I was so angry and felt so betrayed and hurt by her and my ex boyfriend. And all of a sudden I felt absolutely alone.
What can I say, I'm in the same boat too
Are you safe? *hugs* <3
Yes I'm just because I've given myself a deadline. But don't know after that
@GreenOrange31
I hate hearing that you're in the same boat. Having these feelings can be so lonely and exhausting. I hope you're safe and that you reach out for help when you need it no one should have to struggle with these thoughts alone.
I try to but I've to only rely on free stuff as paid ones are very expensive
@GreenOrange31
I feel ya luckily the community here can be very helpful.
Yes they are
Hey, I am your friend ð§¡
Please, talk with me
@Lindsey103
My heart will always be with you,, don't feel lonely dear,, I'm going through this and I know how it feels, sending you so much 'hugs' and 'love'
@limeSkies9943
I hate hearing you're dealing with the same thoughts. Thank you for reaching out to me❤️
@Lindsey103 I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been dealing with it for years. Mine is more seasonal, depends. And I know the feeling sucks! Hope we can all feel better soon enough
@Keic
Even if they’re only seasonal, these thoughts can be so heavy completely overwhelming and exhausting. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. It means more than I can say to know I’m not alone…but it breaks my heart that you’re carrying this pain too. ❤️
I would say you’re most likely, focusing on the things that put you in a dead end. It’s not unlikely for there to be things that you can change and that you can feel a sense of achievement for changing the tiniest things then turn it into a broader thing. I’ve done that a lot, the suicidal Ideation I mean. That’s why I’m speaking from experience. I’m also a psychologist, but I ended up on this path because of those feelings and thoughts. definitely comes in handy in such situations. Usually happens when we can change our perspective and stay in the comfort zone of saying everything sucks. But everything will continue to suck until we take the necessary step. A good shift and perspective usually happens when you try seeing things happen for you rather than happen to you. When you take a step back and look at what’s actually happening, What you’ve demanded from life, it usually is the opposite of what you’re getting. and when we don’t get those things the exact way we want them we tend to throw a tantrum. It’s about taking the responsibility. You’re probablya wounded child, but wound heal if you tend to them. It seems really hard at first and it really is. It’s a progress, it takes time and effort. But we’re building ourselves. And when we go into such deep thoughts leading to this particular path, it means we do think a little bit more than the usual so maybe it’s better for us to shift it into a more progressive and useful thinking pattern rather than the one that keeps us from going forward. Life is just a happening unless we put meanings to it. It’s also up to us to pick and choose the right meanings that we want to hold dear to us. So pick and choose your battles, And get a grip on the leashes of your own life. Do what makes you happy. Find people that makes you happy. Set standards and stand by them. You’re a work in progress. You might need to get more aware of your thought processes and catch them when they’re trying to bring you down and say no. That way you rid of yourself of the victim card. That’s when we actually grow up and stop being an old child.
And no, the world will not be better without you. The ugly truth is that the world doesn’t care as much as you do because the world cannot get into your brain. You put more weight on yourself then people. You multiply the word said, echo them and turn it back towards yourself and weaponize it. It’s a mental war rather than a physical real one. We all need a reality check from time to time. Don’t get me wrong your feelings are valid because they feel real to you therefore they are. And you’re not alone in that sense as you can see in other comments as well. Unfortunately, you’re going to need to get some work done. But you’ll be fine if you’re willing to and you writing here means that you are. You also mentioned seeing professionals, Which is a good sign. It’s a matter of courage now, but the first step is always the hardest, and you took it Congratulations.
@xItsDeex
First, let me start by saying thank you for taking the time to write this out and respond to me.
I hate that you can speak from experience, because these thoughts are a lot for anyone to deal with or go through. You're absolutely right there are definitely things I can do to help myself, even if it's just shifting my perspective.
Even though I’ve been in counseling, seen a psychiatrist, and taken my medication, I know that I have to be the one to put in the work. Counseling and those kinds of supports can only do so much the rest is up to me. I’m doing the best I can, but sometimes the thoughts weigh me down and take over, and pulling myself out of them becomes such a challenge.
At the end of the day, I know I'm responsible for my own healing. Counselors and psychiatrists can guide and support me, but they can’t do the inner work for me. That part has to come from me.
Very well said I needed to hear something like this . Thank you i appreciate your words and will try to take your advice . Hugs 🤗 thank you
You are what the world desperately needs. 🤍
@JLWells
Aw this is so sweet 😭😭 thank you so much ❤️
@Lindsey103
I experienced it too... tight hugs🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🩷🩷🩷🩷
@moonlightinnight
It truly breaks my heart to hear you've been haunted by those same painful thoughts. No one should ever have to feel that way. Sending love and support to you.
@Lindsey103
I send huge support to you too💖💖💖 I hope for a day that nobody is blamed or misunderstood for being suicidal.🫂🫂🫂🫂❤️❤️❤️ Best wishes💖🩷🩷