Suffering Deeply 💔 I Don’t Know Where I’m Going Anymore 😔
I think I’ve reached a point where I genuinely have no idea what I’m doing with my life anymore. It feels like I’m completely caught in chaos, like everything around me is spinning and I’m trapped right in the middle without any direction. Even when something good happens or I feel a tiny bit of happiness, I immediately feel guilty... like I don’t deserve it, or like something is wrong in me for even enjoying anything.
I spend whole days lying in bed, doing nothing, staring at the walls or scrolling endlessly, and by the end of the day I feel horrible. I feel like I’m fooling myself by pretending I’m okay. My body is resting but my mind is screaming, and something in me keeps aching no matter what. I feel like nobody really understands me the way I wish they would.
My physical health is getting worse and worse. My chest pain remains. My breathing problems come and go. I’m not eating well because I honestly don’t feel like eating at all anymore, and I hate when people tell me to eat — it makes me feel even more unseen. I’m barely sleeping, maybe 2 or 3 hours, and even when I want to sleep, my mind refuses to let me. It feels like my mental health is destroying my physical health, slowly and painfully.
And every time listener tells me, “Take care of yourself,” it hits me in the worst way. It makes me feel unloved, like they’re just throwing the responsibility back at me. Because honestly, I’ve been taking care of myself alone for so long. Even when I had severe fever and couldn’t move, it was still me, by myself. So when people say that, it feels like they don’t understand how tired I am. I don’t want lectures. I want someone who genuinely cares. I’m exhausted from carrying myself alone.
Even my parents... I love them deeply, but when I try to explain myself and they make fun of me or brush it off, it hurts in places I can’t even describe. Their words stay with me longer than anyone’s. And when one of the listener tells me (i also feel he is right actually) I'm an adult, I’m childish for wanting care, it breaks something inside me. I’m scared to let people see how fragile I am because I feel judged all the time.
The loneliness is eating me alive. I keep repeating the same mistakes even though I know exactly how they will destroy me. I know the consequences, and I still fall into the same patterns, and it makes me hate myself even more. I’m starting to feel like I’m negative by nature, like something is fundamentally wrong with me. My mom often calls me a disgrace, and somewhere along the way, I began believing it. I feel disgusted with myself.
There are so many things I hate about who I’ve become — I hate being sensitive, fragile, easily hurt. I hate my inferiority complex, my weakness, the way I pretend to be happy and smiling and laughing when inside I feel like I’m slowly collapsing. I hate knowing what could make me happy but still refusing to do those things. I hate how much of a coward I feel like.
And my cats… they weren’t just pets. They were deeply connected to me. Emotional anchors. Losing them one by one, watching them die in my lap, broke something in me. So I stopped keeping pets. But recently, because I’ve been emotionally struggling again, I tried getting new cats for support. Instead of happiness, all I feel is fear. Whenever I look at them, I see my old cats in my mind. I keep thinking these ones will die too. I should feel comfort with them, but the opposite happens — I feel panic and sadness.
I honestly don’t know where I belong anymore. I don’t know what my purpose is. Nothing truly makes me happy now. I’m tired of advice, tired of people telling me things that don’t touch the pain inside me. I’m anxious, restless, confused, doing the same damage to myself again and again. I feel like a liar, a disappointment, a burden. I feel cursed sometimes, like my existence is a mistake.
I hate that I can’t cry anymore. My tears feel dry.
I feel like I’m fading inside while pretending to be alive on the outside.
I don’t recognize myself.
I just needed to put all of this somewhere.
Yes I used to close my eyes and throw all my worries out. Try forget them but I know it’s not easy to get rid of it(, I have similar feelings and I don’t know how you know all about my issues. It means I not alone but many of us are facing much worst situations and pain inside. I try to finds n opportunity to help others to help my self. It atleast divert my mind n I get some moments out of this cage. It helps little bit, worrying about myself then trying remove some onc worries ease some of my pains. Trying hold gratitude and thank ful for what I have, hope I will be out soon Bro
@considerateChestnut4179 🤗
I know how hard it is to go through all this. I’m trying my best too… some days I feel almost normal, like I’m not drowning, just numb. And then there are moments when no one is around and that deep, heavy loneliness hits so hard that everything feels overwhelming again.
I’m the kind of girl who hides everything behind a smile. I don’t show the wrecked parts of me to anyone, even when inside I’m falling apart. A lot has happened, and honestly… I’m tired of living like that. I want my brighter side to exist too. I know life isn’t a straight line, there are always ups and downs... but staying in the darkness forever doesn’t help either.
And reading your words made me feel a little less isolated. One of the reasons I posted this was exactly that, hoping I might find people who understand this kind of pain, people who could tell me how they keep going. The way you said you help others to help yourself… that genuinely touched me. There’s something really warm and human in that.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. I really mean it.
I hope things ease up for both of us soon, even a little peace would feel like a blessing.
sending lots of love and support 💜 😊
Hugs*🤗
I am sorry you are hurting. You seem like a really nice person. I understand that you feel alone and isolated. I care about you and if there is any way I can help you, let me know.
It might be helpful to talk to a professional who understands depression, but that is a suggestion and not advice.
I wish the best for you. ❤️❤️
Bob
Hey 👋 @azureAcres1605 💞
Thank you so much for your kind and gentle words.🌸😊
It really means a lot to me. I glad you caring and reaching out, it made me feel a little less alone and heard. 😊💜
I’ll keep your suggestion in mind too. Thanks for being kind. 💛
Hugs*💞 🤗
You are most welcome. I am glad you are feeling a little better. Hugs back❤️
So much of what you've written here resonates with me. I've gone through much of what you're talking about. Heck, I'm still going through it! It's at these times we need the most care. I've been fortunate to find a support system that works for me, and I can honestly say it's kept me alive.
There is one thing in particular I want to comment on: your are not childish for needing care! There are lots of reasons reasons why we break, why we hurt. Saying it's your job entirely to fix it was not okay. You deserve care, kindness, love and attention always and especially when you are hurting!!
I hope you can find your people: friends and family who support you instead of brushing you off. It's hard to do this alone. I wish you well dear 💖
Also, would you mind saying hi to your kitty for me? 😊
@HappySpecter 💞🤗
Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️ I’m really sorry that you can relate to this and that you’re still going through it, but I’m also glad you’ve found something that helps keep you grounded. Knowing you’ve found a support system gives me hope.
And thank you for saying that, I really needed to hear that I’m not childish for needing care. I carried the belief for a long time that I was wrong for seeking love and support, and lately I’ve been realizing how much my past shaped those thoughts. I’m slowly unlearning that now.
For me, spaces like 7 Cups have been helping a lot, it makes me feel less isolated, helps me think more clearly, and the kindness of people here honestly means more to me than I can explain. I’m trying to reach out, listen to my own thoughts, acknowledge my feelings, and help myself gently, one step at a time.
I truly appreciate your understanding and warmth.
And yes, I said hi to my kitty for you 😊🐾
She said meaww (its her way of saying hi 😅)
You're doing great work, Hun 💖
@Ailuraphilelove8tear9
Do you know that saying about it being darkest before the dawn? As I was reading your account of your sleeping (I’ve had sleeping issues too), it occurred to me … How do we witness the first breaks of sunlight without being up at all hours?
I feel like I’ve been there: alone, lost, lonely, like a fraud, directionless, without value or purpose.
The honesty in your writing truly moved me. It brought me back to those dark times where I felt worthless and wanted to end “it” all. I’m glad you brought me there because I see how far I have come, and I have faith in you to make it out too. And however I can walk with you to offer you company or a point in some direction, I’m there … and this goes for anyone reading this, who suddenly finds themselves wandering this dark forest.
There are those of us who are here for you too. Just listen for our voices.
Thank you again, @Ailuraphilelove8tear9 … for sharing your feelings and inner experiences. I’m glad you put all of this here.
Hello 🤗 @FaithfulScout 🌸Thank you for this. Your words were really sweet and gentle, and they honestly gave me comfort.
It felt like a warm hug while reading, and it meant a lot to know I’m not alone and that you believe in me.
I appreciate you taking the time to share this and walk alongside me, even in words. Truly grateful.
Sending love*💞 and blessings*💖
Hugs*🤗 💗
Hey there,
I hear you. And I think you have heard it before, but I am going to say it anyway:
You deserve love, you deserve support and you deserve community help.. not just self-help.
Going through the loss of our pets can weigh down on us for longer than we ever imagined. And it does change you. It makes you more apprehensive and like something bad might happen in the future.. because something bad already happened in the past. It is not weak to seek out support and care. If anything, it is a sign of a healthy mind... one that knows it needs others and their love to keep going. And knows it can ask for help.
I hope you feel better again soon. Please know that we are here for you. And we know how it is like sometimes.. even though it feels like no one understands right now, I assure you, we do.
I know we will figure it out.
My prayers with you ❤️
Hey hi 👋 @ButterflyBuddy 🤗
Thank you so much for all your sweet and gentle words. Even if I’ve heard some of these things before, I still need them, and I’m really grateful that you reached out to me 😊
Thank you for understanding the chaos inside me. I really do feel more apprehensive about everything , almost all the time and I think my past plays a big part in that. It’s been pulling me away from being present or positive, and you naming that made me feel understood.
I also want to thank you for reminding me that seeking help and care isn’t something to feel ashamed of. I’ve been feeling uneasy and uncomfortable for opening up, almost guilty for letting my thoughts out. Your words helped me feel heard instead of judged.
I may not have all the answers yet, but knowing I’m not alone in feeling this way gives me a little light in the darkness and some hope. I’m really glad you reached out, I truly appreciate your concern and kindness.
Sending lots of love and blessings.
Hugs 🤗💕
So happy this helped. Sending virtual hugs and wishes to you too ❤️
Thank you 😊 💞
I can honestly feel what you’re saying, feel free to text me if you wish, I’ll be there, I wish you a blissful continuance.
Hey there! 👋 @dmarkowicz Thank you so much for your kind words and for offering to listen — it truly means a lot. I really appreciate your support and concern 😊💞
I’ll reach out when I feel able. Wishing you the same peace and warmth you shared with me.
hugs*🤗
Wow I'm sorry your going through ***
@intellectualPal145
😭🤧
Hello....
It's really painful to see u in such situation when u want to come out of it but unable to.......sometimes it happens...
Do u want to connect with me?
@Soothingheart1234
Thank you so much for u concern towards me 😊 it truly means alot to know someone genuine care on me 💝
Thank you for offering ur support 😊💐 yeah, sure... I'm in ✨
I'm really sorry for the late response!! please never mind 💜
Hello it's okay to feel like this
If you want to talk about it
Don't hesitate to reach, out
You are not childish for wanting care. <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Aww...!!🤗💜
Thank you for saying that, it means a lot to hear from you.💐💝
Hugs 🤗✨
*hugs* <3
