Forgiving Ourselves
The path to forgiveness is never easy, especially when the person youre trying to forgive is yourself.
As Steve Maraboli quotes, The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.
How often do you forgive yourself for the mistakes you did or you think you did?
What do you think makes it so hard for us to forgive ourselves and others?
What are few things that can help you in the path of self forgiveness?
I never forgive myself for anything but I'm pretty good at forgiving others.
@tluper6491 Yus, forgiving ourselves tend to be harder than forgiving others 
What do you think makes it harder on you to forgive yourself? :3
@Pureriver55
I feel like I don't deserve it and it isn't my forgiveness to give.
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Hey there, hope you are doing well! @Pureriver55
1) I'm a pragmatic, focused individual. If I make mistakes I'll move on from them, sometimes it will take me some time to acknowledge that I've made a mistake or the reason why but everyone makes mistakes: it's alright so I can forgive myself. I'm still here and doing well :)
2) I think it's hard for us to forgive others because if someone has done something to you, we don't really trust them anymore. They've given us room for doubt that they may be dishonest or do not value us, we lose confidence in that person and we are not assured that they are what we used to think they are.
3) I think appreciation and self-care can help us with self forgiveness! Caring for ourselves and recognising what an accomplished individual you are can make yourself feel better, and appreciating ourselves allows us to respect ourselves. We all make mistakes, and realising this can help us forgive ourselves.
Thank you for this interesting thread <3
@peppermintlove Hey there. I am doing well. How about you? 
Hmm, its awesome to know that you can forgive yourself. Yus, it makes it harder on us to trust them again after being betrayed once. Appreciation and loving ourselves is so awesome!
Thank you for answering. Keep being wonderful! C:
This is an important discussion, River! I like the quote, by the way!❤
How often do you forgive yourself for the mistakes you did or you think you did?
I find difficulties in forgiving myself most especially if the mistakes and bad decisions are still flashing back and I couldn't shake my mind off of them. They still linger because it's hard for me to accept that I often times make impulsive decisions and commit mistakes unintentionally that makes me think that I'm a failure or would doubt myself more in the future.
What do you think makes it so hard for us to forgive others?
I think the main reason why it's hard for us to forgive others is because we don't expect them to do such things that will make us be disappointed in them. We forget sometimes that they're not perfect and there were times that they're also stuck and lost that led them to resort in choosing the wrong path.
What are few things that can help you in the path of self forgiveness?
Acknowledging that it's okay to commit mistakes and that our mistakes don't define ourselves. Yes, bad decisions affect our present and future but that shouldn't hinder us to learn from them and move on in working towards our betterment.
@Erato
Yes, it can be so so hard for us to forgive ourselves for our mistakes when they are still lingering in our minds. Yes, being let down by someone you expect so much from is dissapointing and yes, we tend to forget they make mistakes too. Yus, acknowledging mistakes has been done and moving on from it so necessary.
Thank you for your answers. Keep being wonderful
How often do you forgive yourself for the mistakes you did or you think you did?
Whenever there is something I could have been upset about, but I choose to look at it in a compassionate light, I am practising forgiveness. Other times when I am actually struggling and I feel like two beliefs are battling for my attention when I choose the one that will bring the most peace and love, I am also practising forgiveness. I believe I show a little forgiveness and mercy every day. The trick is showing more of that each day.
What do you think makes it so hard for us to forgive others?
For myself sometimes it's really hard facing the cognitive dissonance and going through the paradigm shift forgiveness requires. Sometimes I am prideful, and I have to humble myself by reminding myself that I don't have all the answers. Sometimes I lack courage and have difficulty expressing to others that my needs are just as important as theirs are. Finding that balance where all are treated with respect and dignity, is an internal battle faced that few truly arrive at. Finding good role models can be really hard when you find yourself getting hurt over and over again because distrust can obscure vision. However, there are good role models, and many great resources, most often forgiveness is a trial and error process. Mistakes are bound to happen. When we begin to realize everyone is doing the best they know how to do, and carry inside them light and the potential for good, the more forgiveness we begin to feel for the dark parts too.
What are few things that can help you on the path of self forgiveness?
-being grateful for all the lessons life brings whether it is uncomfortable or not
-taking the time to feel and analyze my emotions
-answering tough questions to myself whether it is uncomfortable or not. I can do difficult things.
-saying these phrases, "I'm sorry" to myself when I have done something wrong. Telling myself, "I forgive you. You have a good heart."
-journaling
@bubbleChestnut3363
Mhmm, one step at a time. That is so awesome. And practicing forgiveness and finding the balance is so necessary. Yus, sometimes we don't have enough courage and sometimes we are too peoud to give it. These are some awesome points of practicing self forgiveness. I might as well try some myself
Thank you for your answers. Keep being wonderful.
How often do you forgive yourself for the mistakes you did or you think you did?
Ooof. Never? I've been actively working on it this year, and it's hard for me. I'm not very nice to me most of the time.
What do you think makes it so hard for us to forgive ourselves and others?
For me, there's usually a sense of wanting to understand, to know why the hurtful thing(s) happened. If I can understand why, it's easier to forgive (but still not easy). If I don't understand why someone did the hurtful thing(s), it can be really difficult for me to let them go and not ruminate. This is tricky with others, but almost impossible for me if I'm the one who did the dumb thing and I don't know why.
What are few things that can help you in the path of self forgiveness?
Patience, reframing the situation, acknowledging the shared humanity of all the parties involved and that we're all flawed creatures, trying to find some good in it/something to learn from it, and choosing self-love over beating myself up for making mistakes.
@frankHemlock4968
Hey! Hmm, forgiving ourselces tends to be really hard at times and being nice to ourself is a kind of challenge too. Hmm, I can somehow understand what you mean by not knowing the reason why someone was not that good for you makes it really difficult to forgive them. There are such a nice points that can help in the path of self-forgiveness. Thanks for sharing.
@Pureriver55
How often do you forgive yourself for the mistakes you did or you think you did?
idk I have hard time forgiving myself... I don't forgive myself risk too much for perfection..
What do you think makes it so hard for us to forgive ourselves and others?
idk my family is critical
guilt
too much carring for other less about myself
What are few things that can help you in the path of self forgiveness?
compasion towards myself
How often do you forgive yourself for the mistakes you did or you think you did?
Never i dont think ive ever just forgivin myself, or even thought about it.
What do you think makes it so hard for us to forgive ourselves and others?
Becuase we could have done something so bad we might not feel worthy of that forvieness.
What are few things that can help you in the path of self forgiveness?
understanding you did what you did and all you can do now is just learn from it.
@Pureriver55
Love the topic! :D
How often do you forgive yourself for the mistakes you did or you think you did?
That's a work in progress -- guilt is a mighty tool in my family and those needlings kinda' become self-ingrained. So being able to step outside of that... and realize what I've done is worthy of actual guilt and forgiveness... takes a pause and a bit of detangling.
What do you think makes it so hard for us to forgive ourselves and others?
We know our actual thoughts, intents, motivations and behaviors -- then you compound that with brain clutter (negative speak, second guessing) -- and compound that further with we know our skillset and the true us -- we judge ourselves by a higher standard or harsher than we do others.
We've unfortunately been taught to judge ourselves by others -- the "right" appearance, the "appropriate" behavior, what so-and-so does is right and I wish you could be like them. (grrrrrrrrrrrrrr) We have to stop using others as milestones for measurement - including in our forgiveness - and realize we are individuals with our own thoughts and actions and just own that -- not the imposed junk.
What are few things that can help you in the path of self forgiveness?
-- Write yourself an apology note like you would someone else
-- Be an active listeners to yourself -- and look at what is in the thought process
-- Write down what you think is a mistake, set it aside for a day or two, then come back and look at it. Was it really a mistake? What did you learn?
-- Remember that mistakes are still progress. I have to believe that even when it is one step forward and two steps back -- I am making progress. Dancers do it all the time and make it around the dance floor doing that every day.
-- Look at the things that are coloring your perception of yourself -- identify, accept, change what you can and come to peace with that which you can't (Think Serenity Prayer)
How often do you forgive yourself for the mistakes you did or you think you did?
Up until now ( with this amazing revelation that I actually put in action - not just sat on) - I would have to say, I would blame myself for both mistakes I did, mistakes ( or cruelty) orther people did to me and even blame myself for people not liking me or in what mood they are in or not in.
NEW PLAN: I forgive myself from my REAL past mistakes - I did the best I could at that time and I will not repeate them for I have learned better.
I forgive myself for hating and punishing myself in a myriad of ways ( a slow way of dying from the inside out) for the awful things others have done to me that are not my fault - not because they are " okay " or " alright" to do to me or anyone, ever - but bc I am freeing MYSELF from thier grip.
I forgive myself for my perceived not " good enough" or " have not achieved enough".
What do you think makes it so hard for us to forgive ourselves and others?
Because my past wounds I used to blame myself for - it was too hard to look at the people and what was done to me, that it felt ( FELT) LIKE MY WORLD WOULD CRUMBLE - but this is so not true - my world is opening up because of it.
I find it so hard to forgive others bc of fear - fear they will do it again ( hurt me) fear that I will be a doormat or victim, fear that if I forgive, that somehow means that I deserved that treatment.
And it is difficult to forgive myself bc I take on the wrongs and feelings and actions of others - " it must be because of me, right? I was bad, i deserved it, if only I didn't do this or did that...."
What are few things that can help you in the path of self forgiveness?
KNOWING that forgivness does not take THAT person(s) off the hook or mean that it was okay - it means I have decided to free myself from my attachment to them through hate and unforgivness and holding onto it.
Self love - actually loving myself enough where forgivness seems natural ...wanting the best for me.
Self compassion and empathy I show others - yturned inwards to me - I deserve that too. I may feel that I am called to help others - but that does not mean to accept toxicity or abuse and it Does mean that My cup has to be fiulled befotre I can help others fill thier cups - it is Selfish, not selfish. Putting Self first - and that is more than okay.
I am headed towards a path of self forgiveness surrounding past parenting with a mental illness and no help. Big Stuff.