Tips on being a Group Mod
I figured since the description says support for best practices, I would help by making a thread about it. I didn't see one, so apologies if it's already done. I was hoping we could list some tips on what we've found helpful. I have found that when I let entering mods know about the current chat situation (going well, maybe keep an eye on this, etc), they are appreciative and are able to enter with some knowledge of the current climate and what to expect. I just started doing this today and it went well!
Some things i like to do when I'm moderating in one of the chat rooms:
-Ask probing questions; when someone is sharing their story I like to ask questions that encourage them to share more!
-Share empathy and reflect on feelings; if a member/guest is feeling sad/angry/anxious, I like to acknowledge that
-Welcome all new members into the chat room
-If someone is doing something inappropriate (i.e. speaking out of turn while someone is sharing their story), to send a general reminder of what the expectation is- don't single members out
-Allow members to take turns, so everybody gets a chance to share
-Refer members as needed
-If I start to feel too overwhelmed, or if the chat room is getting very populated, go to the Listener chat room and ask for assistance
About 'speaking out of turn while someone is sharing their story', some members really feel hurt when we try to stop them from sharing. Often members feel hurt when we ask them to wait while the other person shares.
I have positive experiences with saying something like "That sounds like areally ____ thing to go through :( Would you like to share more about that after we have supported ___? In the meanwhile you could take a look in another chatroom or help us support ___. I'm glad you're here <3"Sometimes if there's a listener in the depression room who isn't supporting anybody, I'll ask the member/guest if they'd like to take a look in that room. Sometimes I say that if they need some distraction meanwhile, they can go to the waiting room for a bit (I do always check the waiting room first to see if the atmosphere is positive and if they are talking about random stuff).
I started with something like "Hi ___, we're currently supporting ___. Would you mind waiting until we're done supporting them? If you want, you'll be next in line"!See the difference? As soon as I realized that this didn't work too well, I started changing my messages. If there are people who have positive experiences with things they say to that, or any feedback on my examples, I'd love to hear them and learn from you!
I agree @!rene. Instead of asking them to stop immediately it is better to give them an alternative that will work best for them at that moment.
All I really do is ask questions, engage everyone in conversation and make sure the conversations are moving in a healthy manner. I'll refer anyone that needs it, and give information when it's asked. c:
Wow..this thread is one of the useful threads I have seen here..thank you all the guys who posted in here for your awesome tips..xoxo
I would like to share one of my pet peeves, please, please stick to ONE room when modding. So often I look through the rooms see the same mods in every room, yet no appropriate modding was taking place (example, earlier i saw several members had discussed taking their lives, but no mod in the room had taken appropriate action) you can NOT mod every room, you WILL miss stuff, no matter how good of a mod you are. This causes mods like me to be confused, we dont know which rooms also need help if there are mods in every room. If you are done modding, please leave the room, your name will show up on the chat list for quite some time unless you do. This will help all mods be able to know which rooms need focus.
@KunoichiSiri. I'm 95% on your side with this one but 5% not. One is certainly the ideal number, most definitely, but sometimes it becomes an issue.
However, I've had one or two times (they're rare) when there have been no other moderators available so I've had to do all three. As soon as someone comes along, I pop out and pull back until I can get back to one.
It's an awful thing to do as it lets down the guest/members as I can't give my full attention to the rooms and it's draining. I did it for 3 hours last week using keyboard shortcuts to flick from room to room to room (three instances of Firefox) before Honey came along for SYS and JennaHere volunteered for the other two. I've been exhausted ever since, which again isn't helpful for the guests/members.
So the ethical dilemma is whether to focus on one room and do it well but leave the other 2 to potentially fall into a mess or split between the three?
Thoughts would be good.
Yah I know this is an on going issues, however, I thought that is why they were letting like everyone become mods? I had thought of this issue too, and I guess that is why it is important for mods to work together to, that way we know whcih rooms need help and if there is a shirtage, but after the increase of mods, you would think that we wouldn't have this issue :/ but I gone in and seen 2-4 mods in every room, they are in every room, if they would all just stick to different toom, modding could be done much better.
I agree it's probably best to stick to moderating just one room, unless it's obscenely quiet or something. However, it's also worth noting that someone's name remains in the actively participating list for another300 messages after their last one, but all it takes to be added to that list is to click on the room. So maybe these mods had clicked on the rooms to see what was going on, then left, but 300 messages hadn't been exchanged in those rooms yet since they left. Or maybe they were trying to multitask all the rooms I dunno.
One room at a time is good, communicating with other mods to make that happen is great, but it's also good to remember that they "currently participating" list doesn't always accurately reflect who is currently participating.
@AdventuRin That happens to me all the time. I always check out all the three member rooms (without sending any messages) to decide which one to stay in. But then it looks like I'm present in all three.
If I do not see other mods, I will scan all three rooms. If I see other mods being active, I will not feel the need to.
I do not believe, however, we should be forced to stick to one room unless their is sufficient coverage. If you see a moderator covering a few rooms, then privately message them and say "hey, just got online. Any particular room you need watched?" would suffice.
You are right, sometimes things slip through the moderators, but that's going to happen less often if there is communication among the moderators. :)
There* ah, need edit button :)
I am NEVER typing on my phone again! My last part didn't submit:
"However, I sincerely agree with the notion that it is best if we can focus on a specific room, especially during peak hours. I think we, as moderators, should us the "Listener Support" channel to help communicate with one another. Or, of course, we can PM each other, but that becomes confusing when more than two moderators are on and we're playing the telephone game."
@Ejj. I hear what you're saying about scanning rooms to see if anyone's there. I'm on in the the early hours US-time, so it's typically quiet and there's someone listed in each of the room. I keep an eye out for Moderator messages to provide some guidance but PM as well. The latter for the reason that without PM'ing them, I do not know whether they're still fresh or need to get offline.
Fair points. I also do not like always being heavily involved as sometimes it's best to let everyone else providing the feedback. Some of the best sessions I've been in I merely say "I agree with so and so" if they're really nailing the subject and providing great feedback.
But there are so many variables at play. How active is it, what's the time, how many moderators are on, etc etc.
The firstthing I want to do is thank everyone for participating in this forum discussion. You all have added some very interesting points, and I'm so glad to see so many moderators already putting in their time and effort to ensure a positive experience for our guest/members on 7 Cups of Tea! :)
I think what would benefit the moderators is an updated mod gude, and genuinely that is because a lot of the moderators aren't certain about the following:
1. AreListeners allowed to sharetheir own personal stories in 1-on-1 chat, or group chat?
2. If the chat-room is not experiencing a situation that would demand a moderator to intervene, how active does a moderator have to be in the chat-room?
Here is something I'd like to point out:
- When a moderator is conversing in the chat-room with guest/members, the traffic seems to slow down; however, if a moderator only intervenes when necessary (greeting guest/members, diverting the attention if necessary, deleting post if necessary, etc) the traffic (guest/member participation) doesn't seem to alter as much.
I have some thoughts on this as well. The Guest/Member chat is specifically reserved for Guest & Members and I think the reason Guest and Members go to the specific rooms (Depression, Share Your Story) is because they want to talk with other guest and members. It is undeniably so that these chats must be moderated hopefully at all times; however, if the guest and members wanted to talk with a listener I think they would of selected that option, so when the chat slows down after a listener is actively participating in the discussion, I really think this is because it makes them uncomfortable. I discussed this with a mentor, and i'm not sure who it was exactly, but he/she mentioned that if a Listener wants to participate in a discussion that he or she must do so in the Listener Chats, and if they still want to discuss something in the guest/members room that it would be better for them to sign in as a guest/member.
The other thing I mentioned about listeners sharing their storiesis another misunderstanding. Since there doesn't seem to be anything that prohibits it I'd like to shine some light onto this. If a Listener shares their own story with guest/members I think it would divert the attention to the Listener rather than the guest/member.One thing I think we should keep in mind is that the service we provide is active listening, and so even in a 1-on-1 conversation with a guest/member, it is best to understand the individual and allow your response to reflect what the individual is saying rather than have that individual focus on your own lifestory. Although in many cases (recovery model) sharing your own story as a means to relate might show that you understand what the individual is going through, I think simply reflecting what the individual is saying would be just as beneficial.
I'd also like to hear all your thoughts on this as well since there seems to be a lack of agreement about this.
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Thank you all for volunteering your time and effort into making 7 Cups a suitable environment for all! :)
~ Shane Minor
I think with this, it would be useful to have a moderator chat room (obviously just for moderators) when the group chats are enabled so that it is much easier to communicate than sending PMs...
In order for that to work, moderators would need to actually use the room, and I'm not sure that would happen. There was a huge push to have a separate adult listener chatroom for questions, and now that we have it, hardly anyone uses it. Even those who wanted it so badly never go in to help answer questions. I'm not sure a moderator chatroom would be any better, unless there was a visible notification of when there were new messages in that room.
Most of the time certain trolls keep coming in the chatrooms and try to disrupt a healthy conversation by initiating fights. If you see someone being rude to others or making false accusations, warn them directly. If they refuse to change their behaviour then mute them.
The chatrooms should not be converted into battlegrounds.
If someone is triggered by something that is not generally triggering(egdiscussing relationships, infidelity) then you can ask them to move towards Waiting room or connect 1-1.
We cannot allow discussion of drugs as certain drugs are banned in certain countries. And since the chatroomsare public, we need to keep them safe at all times.
No one can be descriptive while describing any situation. Even for someone who has gone through a trauma, as this can be triggering for every one.
As a moderator you need to make sure there are no arguments in the chat.
Along with that, one person cannot share in 2 rooms simultaneously. And everyone should be given an equal opportunity to share and receive support. If you feel someone is being ignored, try helping them out buy encouraging them to share more.
Greetings, I'm not a mod, I'm a Member/ Listener.
Seeing this thread has opened my eyes to Mistakes I have made here as a Member that is also a listener.
Is there or can there be constructed a sort of hints and tips for listeners thread?
And as to moderators showing up, It seems to me that it works best when they are there as a guide, hands off. Just the simple presence seems to have a nice effect on keeping it stable. And of course, dealing with trolls. I like when Mods facilitate. I think Members and guests benefit, also. I also like when it's just members talking with a mod there, just observing. Maybe with a pointed prompt, or two. Sometimes a lot of good comes out of it in those rooms, especially late at night when it's a handful of people and not 15 to 20 people, clamoring to be heard.
And for those of you that have come to my aid, You've been a great blessing and helpful, thank you all, Moderators.
I'm learning, and I have had great help from Moderators. I know it's a tough, potentially draining job.
Also for those Mods doing late night EST USA, thanks for being up on those wee hours. If nobody else has thanked you...Thank You.
Thank you so much for the work you do @Snail9! You are very helpful in share your story and depression room. I agree with your points of observing rather than participating. It is better to encourage members to offer support in the support rooms.
