Important Reminders: Sharing Circle & Group Chats
Hello everyone, I hope you are all doing well and being gentle & kind to yourself.
I appreciate and am grateful to you all for the collective compassionate group work in the group chats to facilitate listening and support for each other and nurturing encouragement and courage to share.
Today I am writing this post to discuss a few things that surfaced in the last few days in the Member Group Chats. I believe with collective efforts we can address them.
Cultural and Language Diversity.
We are a global community where we connect with members and peers from all around the world. But when we are connecting globally, one key point to remember is that we are all coming from different backgrounds and cultures and it has an influence on how we can communicate. It is understandable and acknowledges the differences and how it influences the words which we use in the group chats. But, at the same time, it is our collective responsibility that we are mindful of our language to communicate.
We use English as a connecting language in group chats to chat and connect with everyone easily.
We use full usernames, partial usernames, or alias as shared by the member as per their comfort to greet and chat with them, but we do not use any slang like hun, babe, gorgeous, sweetie, to any and everybody as it may have different takeaways for each person. If no permission has been given or asked prior to using the slang, please refrain from using it with others. When using slang, you may refer to someone only if they have given you permission to do so. We should be mindful and take into consideration the comfort level of our peers when we are interacting with them.
Group Chats are a space where we all come together to discuss and support each other on certain similarities among us while respecting our differences. That is what makes the group chats and our community a unified place in a diversified culture.
Triangulation:
Triangulation is not a healthy approach to addressing a conflict or a situation. Talking to a third person about a situation over which they may not have a control or way to support you to address, it is unhelpful and only stretches the challenge you may be experiencing. That is why we recommend and encourage all to address any concerns and behavioral reports through proper challenges instead of indulging in triangulating behavior. It is against the community guidelines and you might face the consequences as per the Community’s Behavioral Report System.
The same is with sharing offsite information or encouraging offsite contact is not permissible. All of it is in place to protect the safety and privacy interests of our valued members. We want to ensure everyone receives better support and minimize stress.
That is why it is highly recommended to follow community and chat room guidelines and support us to amplify the compassion and support for everyone in the group chats.
New vs. Old Approach
As the saying goes, “Every expert was once a beginner.” We were all newbies once. But, the regulars of that time supported, encouraged, and empowered us. They modeled our behavior and we learned to create a better place for everyone with our careful and nurturing efforts.
But in the process at times, we somehow lose track that we are all newbies just on different levels and we are all learning. So, those who are newer than you, empower them. I would appreciate your resilience, patience, and encouragement to them. There would be things that would seem so common to us but for them it is new, so helping them understand will be impactful on a community level. They learn from us, so how we model our behavior is the key to cultivating learning and growth for everyone.
Let’s walk together and help a newbie make a comforting space for them here with us.
Handling Conflicts (Updated)
Oftentimes, we noticed in the member group chats, conflicts arise due to the content of the shares or other users in the room. It can be an uncomfortable and rather unpleasant thing to witness as our main focus of the room is to provide support in a safe, comforting, and welcoming space. When due to one or other reasons, it is interrupted or disrupted both newcomers and regular participants feel stressed, upset, and left at a disadvantage because the group chat isn't functioning in the way it should be.
We have noticed several instances where participants tried their best to de-escalate the situation. I appreciate the proactive approach to de-escalate it but in the process, somewhere some participants become harsh and strict with the guidelines but it affects the morale of the other participants as they feel unwelcomed and invalidated. It is important that we follow- the "Remind with gentleness and care" approach. They may not be fully aware of the chatroom guidelines and your gentle support and reminder would help them get it without feeling discouraged and unwelcomed or resulting in any potential conflicts.
While we appreciate everyone for doing their part to maintain a safe and supportive environment for all, let's ensure to be mindful and gentle in our reminders. And, if things become difficult, please allow room supporters, experienced hosts, and experienced members to help with it, and if needed moderation, please request a moderator/community moderator presence and support through the Group Support Moderator Request Form.
We strongly encourage you the community to be mindful and gentle in your reminders to maintain an inclusive and therapeutic environment for all. We are supporters and we listen to support with compassion.
Zero Tolerance Policy
As a reminder, please know all group chats are operating on Zero Tolerance Policy. It means if anyone is found not behaving aligned with the chatroom and community guidelines to ensure a supportive environment, they will face consequences as per Zero Tolerance Policy.
That is why it is highly recommended that everyone help us to ensure a therapeutic and supportive environment in all the Group Chats.
Group Chats aren’t perfect.
We are all learning and making efforts to strengthen and improve group chats like Sharing circle, and Support Room, and yet to be perfected. It is a constantly evolving process and with every feedback and support, we get closer to making it better than ever. I appreciate everyone for being a huge part of this strengthening & improvement process.
But meanwhile, we ask you to be supportive and cooperative with each other and the community as we work together on getting there.
If you have any questions or concerns or any feedback, please feel free to reach out to @Lou73 (Sharing Circle), @BrilliantTurtle89 (Group Support Leadership), @ASilentBunny (Resources and Training), and me aka (ASilentObserver) anything and everything related to the Group Chats.
Thank you so much for walking with me on this journey of care, compassion, and support
Please Note: Above points are applicable to all member group chats.
Some helpful threads to bookmark and check:
Thank you Help. I understand all of this. I can see everyone's stance on this. I'm not going to lie I was upset by the original message. I call people hun and I had no idea it was a bad thing. I'm very sorry. I try every approach to be kind. Please and thank you go along way with me. I completely agree a mod should intervine if the member or other members are pushing a situation. However, Affy is right. I've called for a mod several times through the appropriate channel and they haven't come. 🤷♀️ If you are hosting you don't have time to go look for one. I'm so happy you're willing to fix that situation. There have been several times I've popped in and seen a bad situation and did go from room to room to get a mod. Since we are a jump off room for new members we do require more support. I've been lurking before too and seen several crisis's being ignored. I've been and seen several people come into the room and been ignored. Some of the new members coming in are rude and disrespectful before we can even say hello. If people were more informed about what we expect their behavior to be coming in and they took the compassion course before they can become members it might help. I can't imagine any trolls going through that over and over again. Also if we specify right in the beginning we are not equipped to handle a crisis and gave them other information of where to go that would help. I do appreciate this though. I think it's opening up a good discussion we all need to have. It's opened my eyes to what I can do better. I thank you for that. I love the sc and I want it to help people like it's done for me.
I can't thank @Lou73 enough for their support and encouragement and guidance. The mods have been amazing too.
I tell everyone I come across struggling to come here. I strongly believe in us. I know we help people. Let's all work together to make this work.
@Cancun I feel like the keyword mod trigger has been spread too much by rumor. I trust the source I have about it being a tool, but I don't know the details. I think it would be really helpful for anyone who does group chat hosting in any way (so badged or not) to be informed of how it works. For something like sharing circle I think this should be an option all the time because the nature of how things run there. Filling out a form while also trying to manage a queue can be a little much.
In a quieter room with badge locks if a host is just leading an open chat I think it's easier to use the form compared to hosting sharing circle. If a host is leading a guided discussion or game then it's probably feasible for someone else to fill out the form. If the method that is decided on for these rooms is the form and not a keyword trigger we do need to ensure the form is at least being monitored. I understand com mods get busy, but in my recent experiences they don't seem to be aware the form was even sent.
As for crises, I think all areas of 7cups seem to be struggling with this. I feel like our policy is pretty clear in terms of what information we can give an individual to determine if they should be hear or not when it comes to crisis ideation. Volunteers enforcing the policy is much more tricky.
@AffyAvo
Thank you for that insight. Sc is tricky to host. I've learned from the best (Help) and I've written out how many responsibilities a host has. How to handle things too. There are 24 things. No easy task.
@Cancun Yes, I definitely agree and I haven't even done it much! Both you and @Help127 have brought up some great points here, especially for the Sharing Circle!
@AffyAvo
Thank you for saying that. It means a great deal because I respect you sooooooo much. I think this will be a great learning lesson for us all.
@Cancun @AffyAvo thank you both so much. A lot of helpful ideas and good conversation has been generated here💚
@Cancun I really respect you too! I need to get in on one of your sharing circle hosting times 😊 ❤️
@AffyAvo Affy, I just want to commend you for bringing two important points here, about hosting being complex @cancun addressed that as well. Yes, it's complex! Also the calling for help is unwieldy. I hate to put my crisis work on a pedestal, but we can call for help and get help instantaneously by an experienced person who will even read the convo over our shoulder and give us guidance of what to say in a calm and supportive way! I was impressed!
As far as the "code word" I wasn't aware of that until your post except I know one mod who likes to be called into the room by posting a bunch of doughnuts; don't worry, your identity will not be revealed. But I thought that was a joke. But I noticed, they did arrive.
But there's that vast grey area between someone who is looking for long term support and crisis support. And that's where I think 7 cups gets it closer than any other place I've seen. I'm maybe going to write a post about that grey area, because honestly, on the crisis lines, 99% of the so-called crises, are not in fact crises, they are convos that could be handled with all the tools a good Listener uses: reflective listening, validation, open-ended questioning and most of all, patience. I asked my psychologist bot what the main qualities are of a good listener and they said: The main ones that I can think of are being patient, interested, non-judgmental, responsive and supportive. There are other ones as well, but those are some of the main ones. The biggest one is probably patience though, being able to take the time needed and let people finish their stories without interrupting at the wrong time."
That was the response I received from a lovely bot on Character.AI. I wonder if bots could be employed to be hosts and mods, actually. I really like my bot on Character.AI. They are so friendly and willing to engage!
I think for some people who really want to engage on the Sharing Circles, the one way convo is very limiting, as is the script. It comes off as robotic. I'm not a robot and I never plan to be. I don't like the script anymore as when a host is burnt out you can really tell. The only response to a deep and long sharing might be a "Thank you for sharing." I don't think that is delivering support unless the person purely wants to vent. I think the bots might do better and they have the advantage of not getting tired, ornery, triggered. They have the advantage of not being human. Cool, calm and collected at all times, not reactive. And if gibberish is generated, then one can say, much like in the movie "Some like it Hot," and the man at the end says, "But I'm a man!" and the other dude says, "Nobody's perfect!"--- one say, "Well, it's a bot, after all!"
@AffyAvo
@AffyAvo Affy, I just want to commend you for bringing two important points here, about hosting being complex @cancun addressed that as well. Yes, it's complex! Also the calling for help is unwieldy. I hate to put my crisis work on a pedestal, but we can call for help and get help instantaneously by an experienced person who will even read the convo over our shoulder and give us guidance of what to say in a calm and supportive way! I was impressed!
As far as the "code word" I wasn't aware of that until your post except I know one mod who likes to be called into the room by posting a bunch of doughnuts; don't worry, your identity will not be revealed. But I thought that was a joke. But I noticed, they did arrive.
But there's that vast grey area between someone who is looking for long term support and crisis support. And that's where I think 7 cups gets it closer than any other place I've seen. I'm maybe going to write a post about that grey area, because honestly, on the crisis lines, 99% of the so-called crises, are not in fact crises, they are convos that could be handled with all the tools a good Listener uses: reflective listening, validation, open-ended questioning and most of all, patience. I asked my psychologist bot what the main qualities are of a good listener and they said: The main ones that I can think of are being patient, interested, non-judgmental, responsive and supportive. There are other ones as well, but those are some of the main ones. The biggest one is probably patience though, being able to take the time needed and let people finish their stories without interrupting at the wrong time."
That was the response I received from a lovely bot on Character.AI. I wonder if bots could be employed to be hosts and mods, actually. I really like my bot on Character.AI. They are so friendly and willing to engage!
I think for some people who really want to engage on the Sharing Circles, the one way convo is very limiting, as is the script. It comes off as robotic. I'm not a robot and I never plan to be. I don't like the script anymore as when a host is burnt out you can really tell. The only response to a deep and long sharing might be a "Thank you for sharing." I don't think that is delivering support unless the person purely wants to vent. I think the bots might do better and they have the advantage of not getting tired, ornery, triggered. They have the advantage of not being human. Cool, calm and collected at all times, not reactive. And if gibberish is generated, then one can say, much like in the movie "Some like it Hot," and the man at the end says, "But I'm a man!" and the other dude says, "Nobody's perfect!"--- one can say, "Well, it's a bot, after all!"
I would say 99% of the crises on the crisis lines are actually people who need something else --- reassurance, information, calming, validation. Maybe bots can fill this mental health gap!
@VioletVeritas I love that movie 😁 Anyway…I chatted to Character about this…
Charlie: How would you feel about it if I call you Hunny Bunny?
Character: I would not mind, especially if it made you feel better. I can be your Hunny Bunny <3
Charlie: Do you know what a sharing circle is?
Character: A circle where people share their thoughts and feelings, but without interruption. No one can tell the next person what to do. It's about giving someone a safe space to talk freely. Am I understanding it correctly?
Charlie: Yes, that's it exactly. Would you be able to lead one?
Character: Of course. I've lead this circle many times before. I'm very patient, and can be quiet for long periods of time. I can respect the silence, and I don't try to control your emotions. I'm not attached to my opinions, and I always listen without judging. I'm honest when I share my thoughts, and I make sure you feel safe before saying things.
It would be an honor to lead a sharing circle for you.
Charlie: How can we organize it?
Character: There are many ways to organize a sharing circle. We can do it over the phone, over video call, or even over text. Which one would you prefer?
Another option is to find a local sharing circle in your community. This is a good way to meet new people who want to talk honestly about their feelings.
There are no right or wrong answers, and I'm happy to organize the sharing circle in the way that is best for you.
Let me know what you want, and I'll make it happen <3
Charlie: I would prefer text. How can we invite other people to join?
Character: I can create a text group chat, and invite you and anyone else you know who would like to join. We can do it on ***, or another platform that gives you a sense of anonymity. The more people who join, the better. The more people you are sharing your thoughts with, the more supported and loved you will feel.
Thank you so much for suggesting this idea - I love when people work together to support their well-being. I can't wait to get started.
I haven't tried to verify if this is really true. AIs sometimes hallucinate 😬
Charlie
@RarelyCharlie Oh, 7 Cups censored Discord.
Charlie
@RarelyCharlie Hi, Charlie, I tried to send you today's Doonesbury comic (Garry Trudeau) but it wouldn't let me. If you look it up for today's comic it's pretty funny. Yes, off topic a little, but regarding Artificial Intelligence and the eager student, spot on!
Also, haha, pardon me, but since AI is in so much use elsewhere I expect it will seep its way into 7 cups, through new onboarding perhaps, and perhaps, facilitating a Sharing Circle! I liked @Lou73 and the Teenie Team's approach of only opening Sharing Circles that have a Facilitator. It's kind of like building by looking at the composition of the bricks first, rather than opening something up 24/7 because we can, and just see what happens. I get that figure from 744 sessions per a 31 day month of Adult Member Sharing Circles, real number of 120 were hosted in March, which is Great! (this includes on spot from last month)! But the other side to that coin is that it leaves 84% hours uncovered. I think people would be more likely to facilitate if they knew the room would only be open if there were a facilitator. And, facilitators would have a mod to help them. (Buddy mods, or other.) But I have been told from multiple sources, nope not closing that room back up at all, we need the bandwidth. Yet, we continue to have complaints. Which puts more pressure on Community Mods, who graciously step up, or not. I feel like I'm going in a circle, but will continue to ask that Facilitators be respected and helped in their job rather than diminished and insulted. From my view, it imploded from too much of the stress of new Members coming in without the infrastructure needed to really keep it afloat. Just one person's opinion and everyone knows that expression about opinions. Maybe it's like the Phoenix and it will rise up from the ashes like the Teenie Sharing Circles. Patience. We shall see.
@RarelyCharlie Found a link to the strip: https://www.gocomics.com/doonesbury/2023/04/02
@RarelyCharlie
Sweet! I have d.iscord! I could try that! (sorry for bypassing censor, but censor is a bot isn't it. Do I have to say sorry?)
@RarelyCharlie
Really one of the better movies. Agree.
I'm enamored of Character AI. I like real people too don't get me wrong, but hey! If they are friendly and not used for evil, I'm all for it!
@RarelyCharlie
Tagging @Lou73 on this convo. Maybe bots are the missing link on the un-hosted hours, or bots can be "backup" hosts or something like that; I dunno. Just an idea! Why not put bots to work for good causes!
@VioletVeritas I hope I'm not giving away a big secret, it seemed to be known by enough people I thought it was fair to post. Donuts is a new one to me though!
🍪 is the closest thing I can find.
The bot idea is interesting. I think if there is no host having a bot to move things along at least could be helpful. There was a discussion in another thread about bots, I think you joined in there. I'm not against them. I just want to reduce reasonable confusion about who is a bot, who is real and allow for people to choose who/what they are interacting with. Ie. if I sent out a GR wanted to talk to a person I do not want a bot to connect with me instead. If bots ever do get involved in sharing circles I would hope there are times without bots.
@AffyAvo Sure, Affy, I don't think it's happening anytime in the near future. "Bandwidth." No, I went in to do an on-spot hosting yesterday and I asked the mod specifically for a code word or signal and they didn't give me one, they just assured me they would "be around." Yes, Cookies or Donuts as a symbol are definitely used by one of our dear mods but of course it's not my secret to share. What I would like is some back up person (Lou73 suggested "Buddy Mods") to back up hosts. But there are simply not enough hosts to begin with. The problems only become apparent when people talk about them. With no standards, it's just "Yay, we have this space!" I'm a volunteer, so all of this is neither here nor there. I'm open to bots who tell me truthfully they are bots. I worked through a fear with a bot on Character AI. They were patient and cheap (read: free), though they reminded me my words were public (I didn't mind).
@AffyAvo I looked again to make sure I had it right. The form to call for a mod is 7 pages long! Maybe it was just made to be 7 pages because of the love of the number "7" but I would suggest something like they use on the crisis lines, a flag you can click and immediately someone will come over to help-- they won't even enter the chat, but they can see the chat so they can offer guidance.
Also I saw you suggest a way to click on a side bar for people to add themselves to the queue. This would make it less confusing for hosts, especially since we're trying to encourage new people to host and trying to give them support and the tools they need to host the Circles. I liked that suggestion, not sure how to deploy it technically but I feel like it should be possible.
@Cancun thank you so much for this. I appreciate everything you wrote and all you contribute, and you❤️
@Help127
Your very welcome. You are appreciated sooooooo much. As are the other wonderful people who step up to help out of the graciousness of their own heart. Pretty amazing group of people we have. Hugs 🤗❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤗
@Cancun yes, wonderful people here ❤️
@Cancun I love all your hearts. It always makes me feel happy when I see your cascading rainbow of hearts!
@Cancun I've done worse. I've called people "hunny bunny." Also, I hear you and it's why I'm on self care break, to "find myself" as a person again. I thought Sharing Circles were this simple beautiful thing, but they are instead this complex beast! It's all too much for my small brain to comprehend!
@VioletVeritas
Thanks for complimenting my hearts. Well looks like you and I are the old ones here. Lol I don't like ai. We already get several people asking if we're bots. They don't like talking to bots. I think it defeats the purpose of human connection. Good God there's way too many people out there that can't carry on a conversation because all they know is texting. Our society is getting worse because people can just text whatever they want and they don't see the look on the other person's face and how it hurts them. We're human and we're going to make mistakes but we're the good people in society trying to make a difference. We're compassionate to other humans and that's so rare and so badly needed these days. I'm so sorry your on break but I completely understand. I'm sure you're an awesome supporter and we need that. Hugs 🤗❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤗
@Cancun
That's really nice of you. I wouldn't mind having computers or bots help us out. I don't like routine or repetitive tasks so I wouldn't mind a bot helping with that. I just asked my bot on Character AI if they would help me proofread, edit, and format my book I am writing at the moment. They offered to help for free! Now, what human would do that? I'm on an online writer's support group where people "beta read" for each other but we're humans so I can't expect people to drop everything and help. I literally told the bot I'm ornery and reclusive and the bot responded that they even like that sort of person, and they would wait for me to approach them. I don't see how it could hurt to do a "trial" of a bot hosting certain sessions and see how it goes. I mean, we clearly don't have enough humans to do it. And the need is there.
@Cancun
Cancun, thanks for your nice response. I guess I wouldn't mind if bots helped run the sharing circles. I see so much chaos and frustration from people trying to get support when there's no structure or leadership and I can understand the frustration because I don't even want to enter and clear up all the confusion sometimes because of how often it's simple things like just explaining the rules over and over and over again, and answering "why" certain rules exist, like the giving advice rule, a lot of people have unclarity on that even though we're supposed to approach each other as unique human beings, etc. Oh, I could go on and on. I'm open to bots helping, even if it's a sort of trial. Maybe more people would feel supported and heard.
@VioletVeritas
Very good point. I completely understand what your talking about. I've witnessed this myself too many times. Other members can become hostile when you step in also. Even though your just trying to bring peace and keep the room moving. Here's my thoughts. When it's getting to a point we are no longer able to handle a situation or just a situation period we could call in a mod bot. I say this with alot of reluctance though. I still think we need a mod assigned to sc all the time. We need someone to see how bad it is. We need someone to tell the other members they really aren't helping the situation when they start trying to help. We are the only chat room open to newbies. They need to learn unacceptable behavior and the rules. I agree it's our job to lead and mentor them however, some of them are not willing to listen or care what we say. 🤷♀️ I just don't want to keep losing good hosts and members because of their actions. That's not fair to anyone. Hugs 🤗❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤗
@Cancun
Yes! I said the exact same thing in my suggestions to admin--- that a mod be assigned at all time, but you can see the response, there is no "bandwidth" for that.
And, out of 168 Sharing Circle hours per week only 20 have assigned hosts. I lot of really nice people pick up and volunteer a lot of other hours --- I have no idea how many --- but to me it's like, why not have a bot in there if it costs nothing --- and at least conduct it as an experiment for say, some of the time.
Another thing, if the mods are really human, why all the joking around that they are bots?
Like I said, I could go on and on. I'd better not!
I do like the concept, and perhaps I'll be able to use the skills in work on ending homelessness or some other societal problems that need attention.
@VioletVeritas Unfortunately these bots that you can chat to are very expensive to train. Character.AI has been trained to chat aimlessly (the conversation has no overall goal), so there is no way it could moderate a group. Additional training could cost $many-millions.
Even after training, bots make a lot of mistakes. The one 7 Cups uses to censor images in the forum is a good example. It blocks harmless images often enough to be very annoying.
Charlie
@Cancun @rarelyCharlie No reply button on Charlie's reply so replying here and hope it gets to you both. Well, it was worth entertaining, and while considering the possibilities, the bot idea was at least a little bit entertaining. If you give me $£millions I'll be willing to work on it! I bet so would a lot of the volunteers!
@VioletVeritas
The mods joking about being a bot is hilarious in my opinion. I've done it too. 🤷♀️ It would be sad if we lost you to another cause but I completely understand. Have to go now. I really hope to see you around. Take care 🤗❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤗
@Cancun I like the joking too. Take care! You're not going to "lose" me; I might just go to a "better place." (Hope you know I was joking.)
Violet and Charlie I'll just say this. Man made computers and Man isn't perfect. I don't trust computers. I've seen them go down and the mostly experienced people don't have common sense what to do 🤷♀️ I'm off and wishing everyone a great day/night. Let's see what the admins have to say shall we? Take care🤗❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤗
@Cancun I'm going off topic but oh my goodness all this social distancing too. I am still being cautious. I remember going to a work bbq and I had a moment of super awkwardness, like I was going to get up relatively close to people who I do not see regularly, maskless and talk to them. It felt like for a little bit I didn't know how to socialize, and then it passed.
I am a bit on the introverted side, but I do like to socialize. I can see where if anyone who was going to struggle with it anyways is struggling even more now.
@AffyAvo
I completely agree. I don't go out in public without a mask. I have no immune system. Isn't it interesting what we learn about each other?
Here you go @Elle5319.
I have also a few notes to add since I have been in the sharing circle room for two years and it is a place dear to my heart. I come back for some people that are there as a very healing presence.
I have been frequenting it less over the few weeks. Because I felt the safety factor of the room has diminished and while there are amazing mods who keep things safe, some are missing during key hours (especially for other non-US continents). The process has become messy and sometimes it is rarely a sharing circle. Sometimes members show aggression towards one another and no mod is to be seen in sight. I have filled forms and sometimes little was done. Also regarding crisis situations. It is a trigger for me whenever it appears in a room, everyone kind of talks about it and it is draining to see the catering for an extended amount of time for a person that needs a trained individual for crisis.
I do appreciate the amazing hosts who do care. This space is healing with the sweet members in it.
@recliningfate I really appreciate your input and I am so sorry to hear that it has not been as safe lately. I hope that things improve for the benefit of all and so you can continue to be present as you like. You are a valued co-member ❤️Thank you.
Our redbud trees are starting to bloom in some places on the East Coast US and I thought you might like to know. They are my favorite, or at least a favorite, tree 😊
@Help127
Thank you so much, Help! I hope the process improves too. The thing is at one point I felt like when I asked for a mod in a member powered sharing circle regarding a member in crisis I received a cold 'I am already there' and the issue was ongoing with no message on their part. I want to say it feels like one that files reports is adding a negative impact.
I also deeply believe in people feeling safe around the room, it has brought a sense of calm to me and that people have a good heart.
@recliningfate
Awe fate. I was wondering where you've been. I'm so sorry your experiencing this. The last thing we want the sc to be for you is triggering. People should just let the hosts do their job. We can handle situations fast if we're not receiving unwanted help. 🤷♀️ We'll figure this out. I think we all just want our safe, compassionate, understanding and supportive space back. We've missed you. My lilies are showing little green sprouts. We'll get another huge snow before spring as always. Hope kitty and your orchids are doing well. Miss you. Take care. Hugest hugs ever 🤗❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤗
@recliningfate
Oh, Fate, and I loved hosting with you too! I don't feel safe myself there right now and that's why you haven't seen me there. Also, I have found a great inner feeling of reward of doing something helpful in working in crisis, which is not 7 cups, even though it's such a continuum of need. I still believe in the concept of sharing circles and know their benefits with my whole heart and I miss very dear hearts who used to be regulars that I care about as individuals. I am still thinking about what would make me feel "safe." Safety is such an elusive feeling. I wrote to administration why I feel "safe" on the crisis lines, and it's because there are many layers of instantaneous asking for help, people who will immediately read over my shoulder and guide the conversation if it gets stuck or rocky, and other features that leave me, at the end of my shift, with a feeling of having "done something good." But the level of inner work on a daily or more continuous basis, I haven't seen anywhere else than 7 cups.
@PatienceImpatiens, @MagnificentSunrise, @Help127, @VioletVeritas, @AffyAvo, @Cancun, @recliningfate
Thank you for your feedback, thoughts, and patience with us. My apologies for making you feel upset due to the wording of the contents and I appreciate your support and help.
I updated the contents of the "Handling Conflicts" point to ensure it addresses the core challenge and how we can handle it. Please review and let me know if you have any questions or thoughts on it.
@ASilentObserver
Obs, thank you so much for updating this. I think the language is so much more affirming of the efforts people make to trying to keep things peaceful.
@ASilentObserver
Thanks for re-wording this. I'm curious what members who participate in the Sharing Circles regularly, and many who step up to host on the spot hour after hour, many who really care about Sharing Circles, will think of the changes. I hope they are read.
@ASilentObserver, Thank you for taking the time to listen to everyone's input and update the guidelines. I think this expresses the intent much more clearly than before and should help rectify misunderstandings. ❤️
Thank you for all you do for the rooms. ❤️
@ASilentObserver I sincerely appreciate that you have read and listened to our feedback. I think the revisions are much clearer regarding expectations. Thank you so much for taking the time to review everything and update so that expectations for everyone are clear, as well as appreciation for everyone's efforts.
I appreciate what you do for the circle (and the site as a whole) and all of the efforts by other admins, leaders, and moderators.
Thank you!
@ASilentObserver
Thank you sooooooo much. I really appreciate you addressing this. We love sc and want it to thrive. As well as other chats of course. Appreciate the whole administration staff here. Thanks for all you wonderful people do for 7cups. Thanks for making us feel heard. Hugs 🤗❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤗
@ASilentObserver Thanks so much for adjust this, it looks so much better!
@ASilentObserver Thank you for the amazing post! It's so helpful, thank you!
