WEEKLY HEALTHY LIVING CHECK-IN SEPTEMBER 21st, 2019

**This past week has gone well for the most part, until another "challenge" came up today, (once again on behalf of someone else)..... I no sooner got one situation "Finally" resolved and taken care of, and now have to deal with another next week~ I find that it can be a challenge for me to deal with the negativity of the feelings and emotions surrounding it all..And it causes stressors in a negative way that tend to affect my emotional well-being.....Other than that, I have kept up with most things, (Activity, Food, tracking etc..). But once again, fell behind on my sleep this past week after doing so well the two prior weeks....

**The weather has been so SUPERB this past summer, I really don't want to see it go.... We had a little bit of a "Cool-down" this past week from the Low-Mid 90's (Which we had ALL summer)... to the Low-Mid 80's...With that brought a little more cooler air, not so humid. It did feel rather nice. And I noticed that my dog actually wanted to stay out and "frolic" longer in the air at the Lake on his walk~ I do Love The Fall season, but sad to see Summer End.~ (But next week, our first week of Fall, temps are supposed to rise back into the 90's again)!... So I'm glad to see that, the longer I can "Sweat" during my workouts and activity the better for me~ and it helps me to get that water in!

**I still tend to do and keep up with everything that I have in place now for my goals and journey, but will have to adjust outdoor activity as the weather eventually starts to change~ I do notice that my continued work has been paying off little by little through "Both" big and smaller changes, so thats nice to see~..... Today (Saturday) my intentions are to catch up with my Friend who also teaches Zumba, (she's been out of town for a few weeks) and then enjoy the day ahead, the weather, maybe some shopping and a few minor errands~

ENJOY THE WEEKEND~

@PoliteOcean

HEY ALL~ How have you been doing this past week? How have things been going?

I already made a post about self care and the process of where I wanted to change my curves to more pear shaped. But now I am gaining weight more and its the loose and very fast kind!! I am not trying to make myself thicker just been so busy and kind of stressed out that my body is doing what it does really well!! Add more stress fat!! I was so so so happy after i changed my curves and now I am kind of disappointed that I didnt listen to myself more.

I can defiently feel it on me more and see it! I think this may be also my lipodemia starting to act up again. Things are starting to feel alot tighter clothes wise and I feel heavier. But still nothing on my upper body!! Good lesson to always be good to yourself.

**This is our Last "SUMMER" Check-in!~ (OR for some of you, it may be the end of 'another' season?!).... How do feel this summer went for you overall? How well do you feel you stayed on track with your overall goals? What did you learn about yourself or what do you feel you accomplished the most this season? What would you have done differently?

Yes its another season for me! This summer went well. My horse vet business has done so well I made alot of money. I am happy with that. I am still working on my goals. I think I found that I can work really hard, but I am still struggling with making time for mysefl and connecting with my girlfriend. She is leaning towards wanting to move and be a famous drummer and me to go with her. But I cant leave my business...ive built it all myself!! I dont know what else to do. Even though I have peopel working for me I still feel like I need to be there. Especially when you are dealing with expensive horses and having to surgeries and stuff like that.

**What things do you feel will change for you on your journey as we move forward into a new season ahead? Taking care of myself and my girlfriend and spending more time with her. Talking to her about important things.

**Just For Fun...... What is your MOST favorite part of the Fall Season? What is your LEAST favorite? Pumpkin Pie, Cream Puffs and Pumpkin Lattes. I love that i get to wear all my comfy and warm clothes. Break out my leggings and coats!!

@PoliteOcean

Summer has always been a really hard season for me! My depression and anxiety increase by 100! I've never been a fan of it and I used to spend the whole summer whining and crying about the heat and misery! So this Summer I decided to do things differently! I don't want to hate summer anymore; I want to embrace it just like I do with every other season! I took up meditation, walking outside, and eating smaller portions of food. It has worked wonders for me! Now I know what to do when next summer arrives!

I have a lot favorite parts about the fall season! I LOVE the weather change! I am all about the cooler weather! I also love being able to take my boys to the pumpking patch and the harvest festival at their school!

@PoliteOcean Last weekend I was sick with food poisoning. I was sick for two days and two nights. I still have a little bit still hanging on, haven't gotten rid of it completely. I hired a second caretaker yesterday (Friday), so now I'm not stranded like I have been. That was a lot easier than I thought it would be. It's still too early to know if it's going to work out. My patient advocate got back from her European vacation. She is a life saver, and is very professional. Over the past two months, I've had to cancel 3 appointments with the hair stylist. Keeping up with grooming is important to keep up morale and self-esteem. My clinic won't let me see my primary care physician anymore, and they won't tell me what the reason is. I'm having a problem getting my prescriptions refilled. My prescriptions aren't going through and I can't find out what the reason is. My clinic is a really difficult place to communicate with both by telephone and over email.

@PoliteOcean This summer was quite a challenge for me! I have what is referred to as a seasonal mood disorder which basically means my depression is very severe during the summer months! For a long time I just dealt with hating summer but I got pretty tired of doing that and realized something needed to change... and that something was my attitude! I took up meditation, volunteering, exercising, and adopted a healthier way of eating! I still don't really care for summer, mainly because of the heat, but my attitude has improved very much!

I am also much happier because we have apporached fall! The weather has finally cooled off at my house and I'm looking forward to the colder weather and the leaves falling off the trees! Plus it is time for the harvest festival and the pumpkin patch which are my boys favoirte things to do!

**HEY ALL~ How have you been doing this past week? How have things been going? This week has been pretty good and productive. I have a dear friend who keeps me in check. . . my writing countablity . . . He said he has faith in me and I do not want to let him down.

**This is our Last "SUMMER" Check-in!~ (OR for some of you, it may be the end of 'another' season?!)....
How do feel this summer went for you overall? It started slow, but by August things picked up.
How well do you feel you stayed on track with your overall goals? My friend keeps me in track.
What did you learn about yourself or what do you feel you accomplished the most this season? I learned I need someone to keep me in my place.
What would you have done differently? I would have tried to start eariler in the summer.

**What things do you feel will change for you on your journey as we move forward into a new season ahead? I will try to keep small goals each day. . . days do add up.

**Just For Fun...... What is your MOST favorite part of the Fall Season? Changing leaves, pumpkin everything, and Halloween.
What is your LEAST favorite? It's gets darker, faster and winter is too faster

**What have been your "Highlights" Or "Struggles" over this past week? I got chapter 1 edited.

**What are your weekend Plans for this "Last" weekend of the Summer?! Writing and cooking

**What would "YOU" like to talk about or share with us?! WE want to hear from "YOU"!! I need to walk more.

I decided to take this week off from any classes, I've been super exhausted, I spent time with my nephews in my garden on the weekend. Last night I did some errands with my husband and the extreme cognitive fog was to the point where if it wasn't something that I experience regularly on a mild basis I would have gone to the emergency room.

I was out in the garden today and will be tomorrow as well, as we're going to be getting some below 0 temps multiple nights in a row. This is the last night I expect most of my herbs will survive. I did cuttings of my stevia and some mint today to get those to root to have them indoors over the winter.

Might do a few weights at home, we shall see how much I feel I can handle and how much of a workout the garden will be. I would like to get to processing my beets soon, so if I manage to harvest those before it gets cold that can be fairly tiring on all it's own.

I was thinking there's still a week of outdoor exercise classes, but no, just on Monday. It seems like a good time to go inside with the weather forecast, so next week might be better for working out.

Medically, I'm back in active stages of trying to get some more answers. Not really sure when I will get some of my appointments though, wait and see now that I have had some tests done (and one more to do soon too).

I haven't been checking in in a while but a lot of things happened. I took a one week holiday to Sicily with some of my boyfriend's family. It was great, although I kept having anxiety issues, constant nightmares, my child part was restless. One day I woke up with her making me feel confused, scared, I couldn't do almost anything, struggled even to answer people's questions, stared at the void. Everyone noticed, at first they tried to cheer me up, but since I was not able to react, my state was even more evident and that made me feel worse. I didn't really know how to calm my child, I never understood it, I didn't know how to make it stop. Then something happened.

I was left alone in the kitchen for a while, and my child came out a lot. I wasn't confused anymore, I just felt her on the front, controlling the body and me on the back observing and intervening if necessary. Child wanted to do stuff in the kitchen, like cleaning the tools I had just used and other little things, but she did not dare, she felt so insecure and scared. I told her she could do everything she wanted and encouraged her. She starred washing some stuff, but I had to stop her and tell her to be careful, since I hurt my hand the previous day, and she didn't seem to know. Besides that, she wanted to be a little playful while doing her stuff, but she was scared to. I encouraged her and she took a little confidence, she even giggled. It was so new to her. Our mother would have gotten mad if she saw her being happy and careless, enjoying what she was doing. Child just wanted me to reassure her and have her back while she experienced stuff! She just needed to express herself and someone to make her feel capable and loved. But she's too shy to come out when we're not alone, and it often ends up with her needing to come out but being terrified to, and me, confused and dissociated, feeling all her pain and not being able to do anything for her. Now I know what she needs to feel better. She needs to come out and express herself, with someone loving her for how she is.

Things have been going better lately. It's been a week of cooking and eating regularly, I manage to keep a schedule of things that I have to do, I've been washing dishes regularly. Still not keeping the whole house clean, but I'm working on it. I also got back to volunteering. I'm trying to overcome driving phobia again and to look for a job. It's a lot of giant steps.

OH, I've also seen a psychiatrist. I took the SCID test. She wants to see me again to further discuss it and have a clearer picture before diagnosing me anything. Anyway, she told me something no professional had ever mentioned: I have an obsessive style of thinking. Apparently more than I thought.

My boyfriend is still convinced I haven't been making progress in 3 years. True, I still don't study, nor work, can't leave home even for doing the shop and I struggle to clean the house. But I quit anorexia and self harm, eat regularly, cook and wash dishes, don't stay up until late, I'm trying to drive, I'm not depressed anymore, I'm not suicidal, I don't have delusions, I don't think I'm the most terrible person on earth and I am a little better at socializing. Also, I'm aware of some things I would want to accomplish (not "have to", and not for someone else, the kind of things that I want because I like) and I'm working in that direction. And I really want to get a job, problem is to find one that I could handle right now. I think I'll talk about that with the psychiatrist. Anyway, this is "no progress, if not even going backwards", according to my boyfriend. I'm sorry he has ham in his eyes, I try not to be affected by it every time he starts one of his talks about how he is tired of not seeing me any better.

Btw, in Sicily I got to swim a lot. I manage myself with the mermaid swim, it's definitely time to try a monofin, if I can find one. Local shops don't sell them. I guess I'll have to trust the net but :/

That's pretty much all. Thanks for reading the whole update ^_^

@PoliteOcean

I have just found this community and I'm really looking forward to being a part of it. I've been struggling with living healthy for a long time (mentally and physically) and feel I need somewhere I can turn to. I'm so glad I've found this place!

My favourite part of this season is the changing of the leaves - I live in Scotland and the weather is pretty miserable about this time of year, but I love seeing the changing of the greens to brown and yellow, just before all the leaves fall off the trees.

Thank you for making me feel welcome :).