Authenticity and integrity
Integrity and authenticity is one skill that sticks out to me the most. I have spent most of my adult life trying to be a woman of integrity and authenticity. I do this by trying to live by my core values. In order to live according to my values, I have to know what they are. When I was a kid, I was not honest in any sense if the word. And I didn’t know what it meant to be authentic or to have integrity. I did everything I could to avoid getting into trouble- even if that meant lying to cover my tracks. As an adult, I have spent most of my time, trying to be honest and authentic and they became two of my biggest core values. Today authenticity and integrity are easy for me, but I really had to work at it.
In the growth path, it says, “Being authentic with ourselves allows us to understand our deepest desires, fears, and motivations. It enables self-acceptance, which is a crucial foundation for personal growth and well-being.” I never saw authenticity as a foundation for personal growth. And I never realized that by being authentic, I was creating a strong foundation for personal growth!
In my opinion, while it states that authenticity creates a strong foundation, many of the other skills within the 5 domains can also create a strong foundation. What skills is your foundation made of and how do they apply to your life?
Some of you are probably wondering how my life changed as I began to be more authentic and how I got there. There are a few things that were crucial as I grew and changed and developed integrity and authenticity as one of my core values. Here is what I did:
- First, I had to have the willingness and the desire to change.
- Second, I needed a strong support system to hold me accountable when I made mistakes. (It is inevitable that we will make mistakes along the way).
- Third, I found resources to teach me how to talk to myself differently. Instead of dreading the day, I woke up and reminded myself to be grateful I was alive and well. Each morning I set an intention for the day. All of my intentions started with “Today I am willing to practice.” For months, my intention every morning was, “Today I am willing to practice being authentic in all of my encounters.” And at the end of the day I praised myself for the things that I was successful at. “Today, I acknowledge myself for being honest with my best friend and asking for what I need.” I did this every single day and eventually my behaviors changed and I became the woman of authenticity and integrity that I had always longed to be.
Authenticity and integrity are part of the values taught in the Inner Development Goals Course, you can learn more about more such values in the course here
@Kristynsmama Authenticity and integrity really resonate with me too. I’ve learned that being honest with myself and others takes practice, but it makes such a difference in how I feel and show up in life. My foundation is built on self-awareness, honesty, and kindness. Self-awareness helps me notice my emotions and reactions so I can respond better, honesty keeps me true to my values, and kindness reminds me to treat myself and others well. I practice these skills every day by checking in with myself, setting intentions, and reflecting on how I handled situations. Being authentic and acting with integrity has made me more confident and has strengthened my relationships because people know they can trust me.
@Kristynsmama Everybody has times when they feel a lot of tension, anger, irritation, or anxiety. The ability to self-regulate, a crucial aspect of emotional intelligence, is frequently what distinguishes a positive result from a negative one. Self-regulation involves controlling your emotions in a way that is consistent with your objectives and values rather than repressing them.
Many people are unaware that self-regulation begins before the stressful situation arises. It entails developing routines such as detecting your emotional triggers, reframing negative ideas, pausing before responding, and practicing grounding techniques when your mind starts racing. For some, this means taking a few deep breaths; for others, it means going outside, counting to ten, or telling oneself not to take things personally. I've found that the quality of my decisions significantly improves when I pause for even five seconds. I can react intentionally rather than emotionally. Relationships are safeguarded, miscommunications are decreased, and confidence is raised.
In work environments, self-control is also quite important. Teammates who maintain composure in the face of conflict foster healthier work environments, and leaders who maintain composure win trust.
One of the most underappreciated yet potent abilities in the field of emotional intelligence is empathy. Many times, when people hear the word "empathy," they assume it simply implies "feeling bad for someone." However, empathy is more than just pity; it's about comprehending the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of another individual, even if they differ from your own.
Conversations can quickly become hurried or superficial in today's fast-paced society. Rather of listening to fully comprehend, we frequently listen to respond. Empathy can help with it. Trust increases when a person feels heard and understood. Conflicts become less intense. It becomes easier to communicate. Relationships improve and people feel appreciated. Additionally, empathy aids in dispelling presumptions. Empathy allows us to explore deeper rather than assuming someone is impolite, indolent, or indifferent; perhaps they're overburdened, nervous, or coping with something we don't understand. Patience and compassion are made possible by this change.
Empathy makes people feel psychologically comfortable discussing thoughts or worries, which improves collaboration in teams or group situations. Empathic leaders connect, encourage, and support others in addition to managing.
Asking "How are you really doing?" or pausing to think about what someone could be experiencing behind their words are two easy ways to practice
@Kristynsmama You made a really good point about waiting to react. That brief period of quiet has a profound impact. I've started experimenting with deliberately slowing down my breathing whenever I feel overwhelmed or irritated. It may seem straightforward, but it helps me get out of "react mode." I would like to know if you have discovered that self-regulation is more difficult in particular situations. For me, it's unquestionably when I'm interacting with family rather than colleagues.
It's amazing
@Kristynsmama
I love how you've connected authenticity to personal growth. I’ve never thought about it that way either, but it makes so much sense, being honest with ourselves allows us to understand our desires and fears, which helps us grow.
@Kristynsmama
This was really inspiring to read. I like how you turned authenticity into a daily habit and grew into it over time.
Authenticity has become a real big thing for me as well
@Kristynsmama One quality that stood out to me throughout this growth path was perseverance. I think perseverance is really important because most goals take time, and there are always going to be moments where motivation drops or things do not go the way we planned. For me, I notice this a lot with studying. When I have a lot of work to do or I am stressed, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed and want to avoid everything. In those moments, perseverance helps me remind myself that I do not have to finish everything at once. I just have to keep moving forward, even if it is only a small amount at a time.
Something else I have realised is that perseverance does not mean forcing yourself to keep going without ever taking a break. I think self-kindness is important as well. Sometimes taking a break, changing your plan, or accepting that you are having a difficult day can actually make it easier to continue later. Being too hard on yourself can make a challenge feel even worse.
I want to work on combining these two qualities more. Instead of thinking, “I have to keep going no matter what,” I want to remind myself, “I can keep working towards my goal while also looking after myself.” I think having that balance can make perseverance much more sustainable.
What helps you keep going when you start losing motivation? Do you find it difficult to balance perseverance with knowing when you need to rest?
@eeemilyyy
thst is actually the hardest thing for me is staying motivated while balancing with rest and self care. Honestly I don’t know how I stay motivated. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and sometimes I just have to tell myself to stop and rest.
I really liked how you explained your journey towards authenticity and integrity. I agree that personal growth starts with being willing to change. For me, self-awareness, empathy, and honesty are important foundations because they help us understand ourselves and build meaningful relationships. I especially liked your idea of setting daily intentions and appreciating small improvements. It reminds us that growth takes time and consistent effort. Thank you for sharing your experience!
