Confidence and small steps
Lately I’ve been reflecting a lot on confidence and how it develops over time. I used to think confidence was something people either naturally had or didn’t have. When I saw confident people, I assumed they simply felt ready, certain, and comfortable before taking action. But recently, I’ve started to realize that confidence often grows through experience rather than appearing first.
There have been many moments where I hesitated to do something because I didn’t feel fully prepared. Sometimes I avoid speaking up, starting something new, or putting myself out there because I worry about failing or not being good enough. The more I waited to feel “ready,” the more stuck I felt. Over time, I noticed that taking small steps, even while feeling uncertain, helped me more than waiting for confidence to magically appear.
I also think self-kindness plays a huge role in confidence. When I’m overly critical of myself, every mistake feels bigger and it becomes harder to try again. But when I’m more patient and understanding with myself, challenges feel less intimidating. I’ve realized that confidence doesn’t always mean feeling fearless. Sometimes it simply means being willing to continue despite doubt.
I’m still learning and figuring this out, but I think confidence may be more connected to action and growth than perfection.
I’d love to hear different perspectives from others:
What does confidence mean to you?
Do you think confidence comes before action, or does it develop after taking action?
Has there been a situation where stepping outside your comfort zone helped build your confidence?
@CozyPup1
Confidence for me means trusting my own instincts.
Being confident of my own values and capabilities.
Knowing when to speak and when words are not needed.
Respecting others whilst also ensuring I too get the same back 💙
@Amanda84 <3 That is powerful, Amanda!
@GoldenRuleJG
Thank you 💕
@CozyPup1 Great post! I totally think stepping outside has increased my confidence. I participated in a charity organisation which was out of my comfort zone and I discovered so many skills I didn't even know I had that totally increased my self-confidence
@inesllorens Bravo! ❤️
@inesllorens Brilliant, Well done inesllorens!
@CozyPup1
What does confidence mean to you?
Confidence means to be fearless of any result, outcome or conclusion in life. I am regularly moving in my life with confidence.
Do you think confidence comes before action, or does it develop after taking action?
In my situation, confidence came before the action, before I took that necessary step.
Has there been a situation where stepping outside your comfort zone helped build your confidence?
Comfort zone is a beautiful golden cage that you would never ever desire to leave. However, you must break those chains to succeed in life. In 2020, I took a decision to study abroad completely solo. I lived alone, cooked alone, paid my rents and bills all alone. Never looked back—the best decision of my whole life—made me completely independent today. ❤️
@lyricalAngel70 So proud you achieved this. I am delighted for you! Keep going, Angel!
@CozyPup1
I indeed used to feel the same way about confidence - that you either have it or dont. I would ask do confident people just have confident parents but no they had to put themselves in hard situations to develop!
What does confidence mean to you? For me confidence is about having that self-assuredness and command over your speech. You believe what you say! You dont mind any criticism as you want to then get more confident!
Do you think confidence comes before action, or does it develop after taking action? It can be both a) If you are naturally an exuberant personality, not intimidated by peoples judgement sure you can confidentally communicate. b) I truly believe this - how you feel about yourself is how others will treat you. I watched this video (not appropriate to send here on how predators pick their victim - its all in the gait - how you walk). c) I agree with doing things not confident - that could be advocating for yourself, advocating for others who dont feel confident (e.g. if they are petrified of conflict and are ok with you doing that).
Has there been a situation where stepping outside your comfort zone helped build your confidence? Yes, this could have been a situation where I could of got physically hurt but I am grateful I stood there, made the eye-contact and set the boundary verbally - kept my voice firm. There is so much power in faith - knowing that there is something greater than you! (I would say however, if you are physically shorter and aware this person could probably beat you up keep your distance)
In response to your second question: I’m not sure if it’s a personal experience thing or universal, but I definitely found developing my confidence came after taking actions. It was only after I pushed myself out of my comfort zone that I begun to feel the confidence to do things I wouldn’t usually do, I believe once you take the first step, that being action, you begin to develop your confidence massively
