Personality Disorders Community Check-in: October 16th–October 22nd
Hello, PD Support Community!
Image source: AI-generated
💜 How has your week been so far?
💚 What's something you're currently working on improving in your life?
If you prefer not to answer these questions, feel free to say hello, ask for a hug, or share anything else that's on your mind. 💙
If you would like to be added or removed from the taglist, click here
Taglist: @Adeline12345 @adventurousCat7477 @AlfAndthemachine @alleywood13 @alwayshere2008 @Alwaysinpyjamas @ambitiousVase1322 @amicableDime9946 @AndreaDawn @arbanon @ARC80 @AspenCade @AutumnLauren6 @autumnthemoth @Avocado22 @azuladragon34 @b4Damion @BaggageClaim @berrymimi @bestcase @Blue123456618 @blueAngel00 @caringPerspective41 @CelticStar7 @CheerySandi @ChristmasGift @courageousPond1835 @crang17 @crimsonPlane2738 @cyanPlatypus6370 @dagaz13th @DamagedOne13 @daydreammemories @DayZeeAnne @dberryy @diamondintheROUGH2022 @DIDisaythat @DoggoMom @dynamicShip9026 @ebonyyyblondie89 @EddaLayla @emerijourney @EmmaSwan18 @EmotionalNerd @Everythingisbetterinyourpyjamas @fearlessOcean2254 @fearlessSouth4632 @fireyseastar97 @FloweringBunny @forcefulFriend4768 @FreakFactor7 @generousEyes493 @Glue @Goldcherry2113 @GRAPSPRO2033 @GreenScarab @Hadeel96 @HashiramaNinja @Healing0Pillow @healingHeart1111 @heartycitrus @honestLand6397 @HopeandFaith @Hyacinth22 @IdolPigment @ImaginativePenny152 @imclover @indigoCup1959 @intelligentWheel627 @Irishrose78 @itsmeow @Jasminerice @Jish07541 @JoniGirl @Jupiterbeingahuman @JusticiaPrimalDorogo @JustSophia @K87 @kawaiikoreannn @kindTurtle3738 @LabeledBPD @LadyNikita @LavenderFlower @learningtolovemyself @Lemino @LightsFromDark @Lilac4Roses @LiliTwolsky @limeRaspberries2286 @Lonelyghostwithtoast @lovelyWords13 @LoveTracker @Lucario1 @maple23 @MeeshyRB @MelG919 @missg @Mkmultra @munchiegoosie @Naturesbeauty1234 @nervoussmiles @NightshadeVenom @Nubia87 @OneErased @optimisticMagic0014 @OrangePeel24 @Oxymoron6demon @passionateJackfruit5095 @Piggy @placidShade4261 @Pointlesswords @PretentiousHyena2222 @Priscella @Psalm139 @QueenBee03 @QueenSerenity5 @QuietMagic @racqueldawn @raininglillies13 @raspberryWatermelon7195 @rationalGrapefruitq @Red789 @RelaxedPanda @RemorseCode2 @resourcefulPrune5259 @Rex0911 @RoadLessTraveled @Rose1324 @runaway101 @SadBlueEyes @selfdisciplinedBunny232 @ShyCat1678201 @SilverSeastar @SkillfullMeans @Sleepwalkermw @SnaryPoppins07 @spectacularCandy9984 @Stardew3 @Starilus @straightforwardCurrent6067 @StrangeKat @sunflower2480 @Tamy4210 @Tatianaalize @The1andonlyFirehawk @tohealthemoon @toucans @Triscups @Twigo7 @uniqueRose1689 @versatilePomegranate60 @WalkingCrow @witchyyrose @Xe @xmoonsie16x0 @zombeach
@QuietMagic
My week has been good but I'm a generally upbeat, happy person, who deals with problems headfirst and I don't let things fester, but I need to work on stopping other people from ruining my peace 💕💜
@Amanda84 This!!! Don't give people that kind of power to mess up your joy and peace. Please try not to waste your emotional energy on these kinda people. ❤️ Wishing you continued joy and happiness in your life! You're awesome. 👍👌
@YourCaringConfidant
Ah thank you for your kind words 💜💕
@Amanda84
Hello! Glad that your week has been going well. And yeah, I can relate to things going smoothly if I'm left to my own devices but then becoming more chaotic/turbulent when other people get involved. 💜 Hoping that it becomes easier to maintain that peace
It's been a decent week for me. Better than last.
Trying to slow down and focus on what's important to me. It's definitely a challenge with BPD, also when it feels like there's a jumping bean in my mind
@CelticStar7
Hi, glad that this week has felt better. 💜 That sounds like that would be nice being able to re-center in things you care about. Anything particular that jumps out right now as feeling important (or maybe neglected)?
💜 How has your week been so far?
My week (not counting today) so far has been pretty good. 😀
💚 What's something you're currently working on improving in your life?
I'm currently working on improving myself. I've been doing lots of self care, have been consistent with keeping my appointments, am back doing in person therapy, and am just focusing and prioritizing me. ❤️ And today specifically, I'm working on letting go... or trying to. Lol. I'll get there eventually. 😉
@YourCaringConfidant
Hey, glad this week has been good (minus the one day that we can erase from the scoreboard, lol--has anything helped with that letting go if you feel like sharing?) That's awesome that so many different helpful habits and actions are happening in a consistent way. 💜
@QuietMagic
💜 How has your week been so far?
quite okay, but stressful as well
💚 What's something you're currently working on improving in your life?
being consistent with my habits.
@daydreammemories
Yeah, that consistency in just doing things that feel like they work is key 💜 Glad that the week has felt okay/manageable despite being pretty stressful
@QuietMagic
Thank you 💚
@QuietMagic
How has your week been so far?
week been hard lots of appointments and been sick but again
💚 What's something you're currently working on improving in your life?
we working on trying to sort and get rid of stuff
@stormieandpaws
Hi, sorry that you've been sick and having to deal with all of the appointments 😥 I remember you mentioning a while ago that you had a second surgery in the pipeline--has that happened yet?
Hope that the cleaning process isn't too stressful. (I remember your landlord was pushing on it, and it didn't really genuinely feel like a "hoarding" situation since you needed more stuff due to being at home a lot)
@QuietMagic
2nd surgery all ready happened but when they did CT scan they found a piece of the kidney stone was stuck in the part that goes from the kidney to the blater so going to have a 3nd surgery on the 29th of oct. they said that why we been sick as it can make one sick they said plus with all we have medical our immune system not that good too. hope this last surgery on the kidney stone.
ya the manager at our apartment plus she nit picks a lot. her home most likely not have much in it so maybe that why. we been trying to de-clutter but with being sick that been very hard.
ya lots of medical appointments but that6 normal for us.
@stormieandpaws
Oh yuck, that makes sense and I hope that that's the last surgery for the kidney stone and that it alleviates the sickness. 🙏
Apartment manager needs to find a hobby 😅
@QuietMagic
thanks and agree about manager needing to find a hobby lol we have many hobbies maybe need to cut back on some stuff we did give home aid a wooden like desk top mail and other things can be put into it lol something mom got us we never used so she can use it she said would b3e helpful
@stormieandpaws
That's really nice that other people are able to use some of the things you're getting rid of!
@stormieandpaws
I hope you feel better soon 💜💕
I like that you took time to make an interactive post! Here’s my response!
💜 My week so far has been kinda up, kinda down. It’s hard to explain. I was released from a psychiatric hospital on the 17th and I had to move back in with my parent’s recently. I’m moving back out and back in with my boyfriend because it’s just not healthy or happy for me here long-term. My quote of the day today was “you can’t heal in the environment that made you sick.” That’s still true and accurate and I feel worse surrounding my parents than I did with my boyfriend. Things are getting better and changing there.
💚 Something I’m working on improving? My life over all. I need to learn how to drive really soon, I’m 26 and still haven’t learned despite having gotten a learner’s permit many times before because it induces extreme anxiety within me. I want to learn to drive so I can get myself to my own appointments and maybe pursue going back to cosmetology school. ☺️
@GhostandGrimoire
we understand about being around parents can make your mental health worst even can make physical health worst. it why 8 years ago we moved to a new city away from parents and other family members. were you live do they have city or county buses as that how we get to in city appointments outside city ones we use medical transportation that we get with medicaid.
yes way to go trying to learn to drive too yes can be hard with anxiety but hope you can get driver license and that help you be more independent too
see you working on making your life better too way to go
Thank you, that’s kind. I’ve lived off and on with them for 24 years and I’m too similar to my mom. It makes things very difficult. My insurance does cover transportation but based on what some of my other family members have said the transportation isn’t reliable and I am anxious and paranoid about missing medical appointments. I do need to learn to drive but it’s overwhelming and today has felt incredibly overwhelming too. I’m physically and mentally exhausted and I’m waiting for my boyfriend to come get me so I can move all my stuff back into mine and his home. I moved out and have only partially lived with my parents for less than a week. He and I just needed time and space apart to move forward in our relationship and I just want him to hurry so I can go home. I’m just not in the greatest mindset or mood right now.
@GhostandGrimoire
your very welcome as we said we been through it a number of times and family can be so toxic and harmful to our mental health to point it effects us physically hope you can get some peace after moving back in with boyfriend you deserve that so much
Thank you again. I’m sorry, I’m not sure who you’re referring to as “we,” unless you mean others on this forum as well. But I understand too, my parents are the the main root of my mental health issues and then they have expectations and standards of me that I cannot meet because they don’t like who I am and they made me become someone I shouldn’t be at all. It’s frustrating and I get upset a lot.
@GhostandGrimoire
(Oh, the "we" is because stormieandpaws is a DID system, so they use first-person plural pronouns)
Ohhhh I gotcha! My apologies! Hopefully I wasn’t insensitive or rude!
@GhostandGrimoire
we are a system with many within now that we healed a lot we work as a team so no longer lose time what it is Dissociative identity disorder (DID) due to long time abuse is why we have this
@GhostandGrimoire
Hi, welcome to 7 Cups! 💜
That's a lot to have happen in a little over a week 😮
- Got released from psychiatric hospital
- Moved in with parents (and realized it was really unhealthy and unsustainable--which is a fantastic understanding to have that will hopefully prevent a lot of suffering)
- In the process of moving in with boyfriend
Driving does sound like a worthwhile goal (independence, being able to reliably get to medical appointments, unlocks returning to cosmetology school as another possible goal).
I wonder if learning driving can wait until the moving-related stress/overwhelm has settled a bit? Feels like things are more chaotic than usual and driving would be its own anxious thing to figure out and work through slowly/patiently.
Hi! Thank you so much! That’s a really good super valid point. I kind of feel manic right now because of all of these things but I’m doing my very best to manage. I’ve had way more happen than I even listed here this year. This year has been the worst of my entire life. So I also kind of get in like “go-mode” where when I’m manic I feel like doing EVERYTHING all at once if that makes sense. Learning to drive should wait too until my boyfriend can fix his car too and I could try to study in the mean time and find other smaller things to occupy my time. I just unpacked all my stuff back into mine and his home last night. I just have to find a place for my books and fold and put my clothes away. Lots to do! Thanks for the warm welcome and also explaining the DID system to me, I know somewhat about them but not entirely. I’ll take time to research on my own. I know I don’t have that I just don’t want to be insensitive to others. It matters to me to always be kind 🥰
@GhostandGrimoire
"I’ve had way more happen than I even listed here this year. This year has been the worst of my entire life."
That makes sense--I bet there's probably an entire backstory to how you ended up in the psychiatric hospital in the first place.
Manic mode sounds like it would be pretty useful when there's so much to do. 😊 And on the flip side, it's nice that there are things to keep you busy while you're waiting to be able to learn to drive.
(Your question about the pronouns felt completely fine to me 💜)
I feel like the weeks are getting harder sometimes. For a moment I feel like I’m catching up but I feel so far behind on things I want to do compared to things that need to get done. I have school and work but I also am trying to fit my personal life into it but I find myself drained. I am currently getting treated for health issues but I still feel like it’s not enough. I’ve been working on trying to figure out my future and if I want to continue working and school. It’s really exhausting. Every step I take seems to be in silence and I am facing these changes alone. I’m trying to work on taking accountability for my lack of motivation as I am struggling with putting effort into work while I am in school. I’m trying every week but it feels like it’s not enough sometimes.
@enthusiasticRaspberries2327
Hi there 💜 Hope it's okay that I read through not only this post but also a couple other recent posts you made that felt connected, just to try to understand what's been happening. (You can think of this as a reply to all three posts)
What I'm understanding:
There's currently this big high-level conflict between:
1) Needs: the big three are work (present), school (present), and career (future)
2) Wants: being able to do things you want to do, having some peace/well-being
A bunch of people have been telling you to prioritize needs, and that if you do then there's a big payoff. You've been working very hard on the "needs" category and sacrificing the "wants" category but the results have been mixed. And there have been some recent setbacks within the "needs" category:
1) School: thought this was going great but recently got some grades that weren't what you expected
2) Work: has been a struggle to maintain effort for this when you've been trying so hard at school
It felt like you hit a sort of breaking point last week where you wanted to get your nails done with a friend, but you weren't sure if you were able to because of schoolwork... and it was like "Wow, is this really what my life is like right now that I can't even get my nails done with a friend when I want to? Is sacrificing everything really worth it like everyone told me it would be?"
***
Some questions/comments:
1) "I am currently getting treated for health issues"
Is that the (stress-induced) eczema that you mentioned in another post?
2) "Every step I take seems to be in silence and I am facing these changes alone."
I wonder if by that you mean like... all of those people that kept egging you on to work really hard haven't really "been there" and seen how much you're struggling. They're just kind of constantly telling you to work hard and hope for the best (and you're starting to question the wisdom of that). They gave you advice but they're not the ones who have to live with the consequences of all of that work/burnout day-to-day.
Hello thank you for taking time to understand me. Yes i guess i am burnt out i didn’t think that was the right word. I love how you put everything and took the words right out my mouth lol. I am almost done with my first year of college and ive felt so lost. Ive learned more then i can try to understand and less then i wish i knew. I’m basically starting from the bottom and working my way up in collage to a certification. I’ve been out of school for 2 years and I am finding it hard to make time for things. I just started getting treatment for high blood pressure which, I didn’t know affected my energy a lot. I have noticed a difference of pain I feel throughout the day but at the same time I’m looking to get tested for ADHA and my doctor is super supportive with it but she is moving locations. I am new to being an adult so I am having it hard to talk to people. I want to make time to interact with others but I feel like I’m behind on what I’m learning in school that I feel like I need to quit all the fun stuff and do the work or else it will be all worthless. Or that’s what I feel but don’t think. I know I can find a balance but at work I got in trouble for cutting corners with work that I also feel like I need to put more work into my career because I don’t know what I want as art and music was a choice but I find it harder and harder to pursue these days. These are my challenges I’m facing and I’m trying to overcome. All I can think will fix it is a nap and not having plans for tomorrow lmao. My problems may range from big and small but they all have a very specific purpose to my journey as I see it. Like everyone else’s❤️
@enthusiasticRaspberries2327
Hey, glad that I managed to understand things. 💜 Makes sense that school would be feeling difficult to get back into when you've been out of school for a couple years, you have the pressure of also working at the same time, the high blood pressure has been affecting your energy levels, and possibly there's some ADHD in the background affecting things. Can also understand feeling like you want to increase your efforts on school and work when it feels like those are falling behind what you expect.
I'm curious what the connection is between college and the career since you mentioned being interested in art/music. Is it like art/music is your dream career and the college is feeding into a different career that's a backup plan if that doesn't work?
Hope you're able to get that nap and plan-free day 😊