The Unsent Letter Space

@cheerfulKiwi1776

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@cheerfulKiwi1776

I write a letter to my younger self, to show forgiveness 💛

I was too hard on myself.

I didn't speak up.

I suffered alone in silence.

I thought I deserved it.

All the bullying.

All the name calling.

All the slaps.

The beatings.

I sat alone.

I accepted it.

I believed their words.

They haunted my sleep.

I didn't let myself have fun.

Make friends.

Or take part in anything 

I became invisible.

I thought I would never get through it.

It hurt too much 💛

I return today to say, to my younger self, you did get through it and they were wrong 💛

You are happy and healing is possible 💛

To someone who cares but I am afraid to let go…

I know things will be different this year but I miss you so much it hurts. Please don’t forget me. I know you’re busy and I don’t want to bother you. I promise that I’ll keep my distance, avoid you if I have to. I can’t get you involve in my mess of a life again. I’m sorry. I’m going to miss you so much 😭 

@cheerfulKiwi1776

ik its hard dealing with me that’s probably why you left i just wanted you to know you were truly like a sister to me and I wish you the best 

@cheerfulKiwi1776

To my ex-bestfriend

Why did you betray me? I confided in you with the darkest of my secrets, and you said you loved me more than your family. 

We were always there for each other, laughing playing, fighting. Two of us against the world. We were only together for a year, but I found in you a friendship I found in no one else. You'd give up anything for me. Your mother gave you a hard time for staying late at my house. You got a few beatings from your mother because you spent too much time with me. But you never complained. I got scoldings for staying at your house too late. My mother wasn't pleased I was spending so much time away from home. But I never complained either. Because we were best friends. 

Remember when we "saved" the kittens and actually got them killed? Then the next time the cat had kittens, we were more careful. We named each and every one of Softie's kittens. Together. When she made a cardboard box in your balcony her home. Everyone gave the stray cat milk and food, but we really cared for her and her kittens. Those were good times. 

Remember your birthday? I stayed over at your house till 11pm and my mother was far from happy. But it was your birthday, after all. Remember how we used to be jealous if either of us talked to another friend? We had a huge fight over my friend who came over to my house for two days. 

Remember when you took me to the deep end of the pool and told me it's nothing to be scared of? Remember when you taught me how to dive? And then you pushed me into the pool😂

I still look at the pool every summer and think of you. Do you think of me?

You moved away after the big fight and after spilling my big secret. I could never ask you why you did that. I'll never get the chance now. But this thought lingers at the back of my mind, resurfacing in dreams, where we're still friends, running along the pool's edge with the lifeguard shouting at us, and I ask you why, finally. And always, before you answer, the dream ends. I never find out. So why, will you tell me, did you betray me? We could've ended it on good terms. We would've had the occasional chat or call after you moved. Still be friends. But you had to sever our relationship completely. I just need one answer. Why? 

I'm sorry that's a lot guys I really needed to get these words out its been... Three years I can't move on. 

Dear Dad,

Some days it's hard to accept that you are gone, especially with so many things left unsaid between us. I'm writing this to find some peace and to speak my mind. I forgive you for the things we couldn't fix and I hope you can forgive me for the mistakes I made too. I'm trying to learn to remember the good times we shared and trying to let go of the regrets and bad times. 

I have to admit, watching you with L it was obvious you loved her more than me. Seeing this hurt more than you ever knew, and it left me feeling unworthy and apart from any family connections. I carry a mix of feelings. I've felt anger, sadness, and grief for the things we missed out on, but also moments of longing and wishing that things could have been different.

I want to think I deserved to feel like a priority in your life. I'm sharing this not to sound or be bitter, but to acknowledge my own pain and heal from it. I'm writing this so I can hopefully let this weight go. 

I have to let go of the need for an explanation and understanding I will never get, and I am choosing to focus on my own worth and healing. I'm working on some form of peace that no longer depends on your reply because I'm tired of carrying all this hurt. 

@cheerfulKiwi1776

dear beother

i am hurt deeply by your actions that you did to me i will never forget them but i forgive you for your actions done to me your still my brother i love you still  forgive you for harmful actions you did to me they was abusive and awful but i am not going to hold onto them but i letting them go for my good  i do not wish you to be harmed by no one but pray you  had changed your ways befor you die i hope to see you again in the afterlife too

i am sad in the way you died and all the family suffering due to what that man did to you and that in end you died from that man actions left behind many who loved you that grieving the loss of you i still love you forgive you but know that you was unsafe to be around  i moved away to keep safe never will i not love you as my brother 

with lots of love

your sister 

@cheerfulKiwi1776

I know how much you suffered and how hard your days were, and how many times you stumbled along the way. But I am so proud of you—because you were strong, and you turned every scar into a turning point and a new achievement. Every harsh word was like a dagger that could have destroyed you, yet you stayed resilient. How could a girl barely in her twenties turn every word into motivation to reach her goals? Now, looking back, I am truly proud of everything you’ve been through. You deserve this, you got what you wished for, and you left everyone in awe of your brilliance. I love you in all your moments