Behind Every Screen is a Human

@Rebekah

We can be respectful.

Respect boundaries.

Respect time limitations.

Know everyone has responsibilities.

Everyone has struggles we are not aware of.

Not objectify people.

Take no for an answer.

Dont push or pry.

Don't lie.

Dont manipulate.

Don't use people.

Treat people as you would like to be treated 💜💕

@Rebekah

1. What are some things we can do to remember the person behind the screen?

   Take the person at face value. If you’ve felt you came across disrespectful, flirty address that. Integrity is so important. 

2. How much has social media impacted the way we view and empathise with others?

   A lot - take social media popularising abuse as exclusively due to having a personality disorder. We all can be abusive to one another - gossiping, ruining someone’s reputation, withdrawing affection, belittling others, being dismissive. I used to be one of those people - I hold my hands up 🙌 Abuse means that person is a narcissist. I learnt more from Jacob Skidmore, Clusterbmilkshake on the nuance and their childhood traumas. Say for example cluster b said this if you fight with me that shows me that you love me as I was so used to my parents screaming and yelling. It comes with also looking at the times you’ve felt entitled, wanting to be liked, do we all show the complete versions of ourselves. Are we sometimes more ourselves in others contexts? 

Not only human. But a self. Individuals yet indistinguishable from our greatest selves.

And let us realize that people are mostly self-critical. And the faults we find within others aren't singular but a plurality. A reflection, and sometimes a rejection, of that unitary self.

Let's honor the light. Let's illuminate the darkness. Let's praise before casting shade and judgement. We've all been there.

Let's greet the sunrise as we rise together in peace and harmony. And let's gather together once more as it sets and we rest in equal harmony.

@Rebekah Exactly treat people the same way you would love to be treated, that's the key!

@Rebekah

Sometimes, I wished the users would remember that the volunteer listener is on their screen too, and is NOT a chatbot. 

I use old-fashioned politeness. If I need a break for a few minutes, I tell them. If I know I am going to have to leave for the day, I give them a heads-up a few minutes in advance and let them know we can talk again the next day. I also ask them if the chat (so far) is going well for them. 

We are friendly, but not out to be "friends". Depending on the issues presented, chats can take the shape of a confessional and you want to be worth the trust put in you, a trust for which I particularly thank them at the end of a difficult chat.

Some users are annoying but I do not block them. I might be the only person they can talk too freely.

I do not think 7cups is "social media" but it seems some people do. My social media is reduced to people I actually know and I do not need to add anyone just to make "friends".  We all use usernames for good reason. 

1. What are some things we can do to remember the person behind the screen?

2. How much has social media impacted the way we view and empathise with others?

with the rising issues in the world surrounding censorship, these kinds of compassionate discussions need to be happening. thanks for speaking on safety and humanity, Rebekah!

@Rebekah

What are some things we can do to remember the person behind the screen?

In my experience the most important thing is not to give generalized opinions of people and to avoid objectifying them. It's easy to reduce them to a PFP and texts, or assume their whole life is on the internet, but they often have irl emotions, experiences, and reasons for why they do what they do.

In addition...ask questions first, and accuse later. If you have a problem with someone go to them directly about it instead of talking behind their back.

Also, don't share personal details online. Not just info like names/addresses but life experiences/vents. I unfortunately have done both and it...well, the names/address thing was handled by a mod and I was given a warning, but the vent thing...backfired when the wrong people saw it. Not everyone on the internet are creeps, and some are normal people, but you never know if you can trust someone until it's too late. Even normal people can do hurtful, treacherous things in the heat of the moment and you may find the personal details or whatnot thrown against you. I found this out the hard way. This actually helps others because by not discussing or over sharing details online your automatically reducing the chance for drama to occur and that makes the internet world a better place for everyone. It's just part of responsible netizinship, and by being responsible you don't leave messes behind.

Also...when someone says or does something wrong and it's a minor offense don't flame them. It annoys me when I see someone who misunderstood something or said something that could be misconstrued the wrong way, or did/said something stupid that was just minor and they get comment after comment about how what they did/said was wrong. Get over it and move on. Especially if they genuinely regret what they said/did. Just...again, ask questions first, and blame later. Be respectful of others opinions. Yes, sometimes they can have bad takes but flaming them for it won't make them change their mind.

Lastly, this should go without saying, but don't use people. Don't bait for clicks or likes, or whatever else your using them for. Be genuine and don't rely on the internet to fulfill your emotional needs.

How much has social media impacted the way we view and empathise with others?

Anononimity certainly has made it easier for people to show the true faces behind the mask and be disingenuous, disrespectful and what not (I'm extremely guilty of doing that, I had to learn everything I said in my response to the other question the hard way) but on the other hand it has brought on connections and help for people who otherwise wouldn't receive it. But it's not genuine connection or empathy. I think too, anononimity has made it easier for us to commodity, mythify, and just objectify others.

@Rebekah thank you for this insightful and always important reminder💌 As someone who considers online space equally as important as our offline space, and who has found solace on the web, which she couldn't find in her immediate environment - I greatly appreciate these efforts to keep our online spaces safe, welcoming, and most importantly HUMAN🫀

1. What are some things we can do to remember the person behind the screen?
   First of all, we need to remember that we are individually a person - it is easy to lose our learned, genetic humanity in a heat of a moment in front of a screen - and that the AI invasion didn't happen (yet), so the comments we are seeing are not from a bot. It is also important to remember as we are citizen of the world we are also netizen's on here
2. How much has social media impacted the way we view and empathise with others?
   Sadly, it has definitely desensitized us, especially the older generations - the early ones on the internet - who quickly forgot or simply didn't know what social media is or can be.
   But, I feel like the newer generations are already changing that and letting ourselves use the internet to connect with others, especially the ones so far away from us, and to learn from each other individually and not what media has presented (about different cultures).

@Rebekah

Hey everyone! 😊

I really love this reminder. It's so easy to forget there's a real person with feelings behind every screen. Taking a second to be kind and thoughtful online can make a big difference. We never know what someone might be going through, so a little empathy goes a long way 💙

@Rebekah

This is a good reminder but I feel bad that it has to be explicitly posted in a site like 7cups. This site's purpose is to listen empathetically, often the empathy we don't receive from people around us. Here we can find it if the people around us don't understand us. Being in this site should automatically be about empathy and understanding that the other person needs to be heard since they're reaching out for support. I just don't feel comfortable that people needs to be told this, in this site where empathy is the main purpose.