A.D.G.O (Another Darn Growth Opportunity)

@GlenM

I yelled and sweared at my bipolar wife during one of her eppisodes and i promissed her i would never do that. i found a place to seek care giver stress classes and get treatmenbt for my depression myself.

So the last 3 years for me have definitely been A.D.G.O. and that is putting it lightly! I was pulled out of uni with anorexia and I was really ill. My nana died, then 3 months later my gran and my uncle's mum died. On top of that, it turned out that my friend who I thought was helping me was actually being emotionally abusive to me (and there were a lot of awful incidents related to this) and making me more ill. I'm starting to come out the other side now and I have learnt so much. I'm not glad that it happened but the lessons and new lease of life I have as a result of it make it seem almost worth all of the pain. I've learnt how important my family and friends are and how important it is to look after myself rather than just looking after other people. I've learnt what love is and what it isn't and I've learnt how to be happy and not be as stressed. I am going to go through life a lot happier for all of this happening :)

The biggest - and most recent - opportunity must've been managing a full-force eating disorder relapse after 10 years of not struggling with one anymore. Admittedly, being as-good-as-30, needing help with something as essential as eating and hydrating sufficiently - and trying to manage the academic obstacles that resulted from it - wasn't how I pictured my future self as a child. The relapse felt like all I did in those years was running in circles instead of learning, recovering and growing as a person.

The situation did, however, force some introspection. With it and over time, the problematic behaviour changed from being percieved as a personal weakness to an outlet for something that was clearly negatively affecting my emotional and physical well-being. It was a sign that there were difficulties that needed to be addressed... A sign to slow down, take care of myself and to reach out for help. And soon, there were signs of recovery and improval.

With them, I learnt that a relapse - something I was secretly fearing for many years - didn't mean the end of progress. I had the strength and resources to manage it and it will be manegeable in the future, if necessary. Personal growth doesn't stop when we are experiencing hardships - quite in the contrary - and self-care and introspection shouldn't stop when we are doing well. And above all, I learnt to appreciate even very troubling experiences for the knowledge and growth they accompanied. All those aspects were pieces of information I knew before, but needed to experience to fully understand.

Besides, I still have a drawing of my future self as a professional ski jumper I made aged 6 or 7. Born and raised in a place that hardly ever saw the wonders of snow, I never stood on skis before finishing that drawing... So needless to say, ski jumping wasn't the career I eventually pursued. I do, however, enjoy skiing very much today.

I thought I would never return here. I imagined myself to be dead.

I'm alive and I'm taking up something of a mentoring role with this boy who is 10 years and 3 days younger then me... He's been horribly misinformed about the world and umm well... I listen to him. He needs professional help but, doesn't believe in that sort of thing. I've decided to take up trade school.

School is great and everything and for most is an empowering life bettering experience and highly encouraged but, for me its appears to be my biggest trigger. I get overwhelmed with despair and all kinds of negative emotions. I'm going to call them tomorrow. I seriously hate school though. Intensely.

I am going through a rough restart but, its coming up somewhat okay.

I wonder if anyone remembers me and I hope I haven't even forgotten anyone.

Not sure if this counts, but I am semi recent college graduate and have to move back in with my parents for financial reasons after living on my own. Trying to look it right now as: at least I will only have to focus on finding jobs and not housing, saving money, laundry is definitely in the buildilng, possible one time babysitting jobs in the buildling, and seeing my dog.

Hi

@GlenM,

A.D.G.O:

My boyfriend, previously a convinced monogamist, asked to open the relationship on his side. This came by unexpectedly. I have been non-mono in our relationship. He's not a people kind of person, he's introverted and generally avoided social events, making friends, despite my encouragement and support.

In a way, I can see that my enthusiasm of meeting new people, making friends, socializing, getting to know life stories and sometimes dating brushed off on him too. I am excited and happy but pretty anxious at the same time, I hope he can get a good grip on his feelings because I know how tricky they can get, especially in a non-mono relationship, I know he will experience hurt now and then but generally it's a rewarding way to experience life for me. I hope for him too. Of course, I don't want anything to throw him off the track, I don't want to lose him, so I'll surely be here for constant support, no mater what he decides, non-mono or mono, I love him and I respect and cherish his decisions. I'll tend to the anxiousness or jealousy that is to arise on my side.

All in all, this decision is very in tune with our life philosophy and principles, it's definitely part of our growth path and personal development and I know that it's something we will be grateful for, right now and later down the road. I surely didn't expect it to come by so soon, but it's A.D.G.O and I always love those!

I had to realize friends stepping back isn't always a bad thing. They need time too.

I have seven kids. With the exception of the oldest, who was homeschooled some, every one of my kids was homeschooled the whole way through school. My youngest daughter graduates this year, ending a 29 year stint as a home educator. It is bittersweet, but as I adjust, I've started to do some preschool activities with my grandchildren who live close by.

Learning what m a kes me tick in a positive way. Deal with the moment within the moment, leave tomorrow until then. Leave yesterday's problems behind. That the illnesses I have is not something I caused, nor is a excuse to get out of doing something, or its all in my head, taking better care of myself isn't being selfish. That's the hardest one to overcome. Feeling like your being selfish if you do something for yourself.