What do you do to feel better?
Thank you all for the book and talk recommendations here. We have cataloged them all and I'm working on an outreach plan to reach out to each person that you've recommended.
I'm wriring today with a different, but related, question that I think will also help us better help others that are having a hard time. We've all heard the term "coping skills". These are things that we can do to help ourselves feel better. Sometimes we do these things on purpose because we are struggling; sometimes we do them by accident and don't necessarily realize that they help us change our mindset or help us get unstuck.
When I did therapy (many years ago!), I used to ask people to think about 3-4 things that they do that help them feel better. Then, I'd ask clients to do those very specific things whenever they were having a hard time. This little intervention helps quite a bit because it allows people to tap into skills that they already have and enjoy using.
I'm guessing our community has one of the richest catalogs of coping skills on the planet. I would imagine we have identified hundreds of ways to help ourselves feel better when struggling. If comfortable, please share them here. My goal is to capture all of these and write them up as growth path steps once the playlist is live. If you can, please write them up as you would say them to a good friend.
Here are some quick coping skills from my life:
-talk with my wife or friends
-take a walk
-run
-watch a mindless movie
What works for you?
Thank you!
Update: If any of these look particularly good to you please comment and upvote to let me know which ones work best. Thank you!
i do two things -:
eat something tasty
read novels
@life30 I'm with you on tasty! Anything in particular? And any good novels you can recommend?
@GlenM i belive theres nothing universaly good or bad...we all have our own likes n dislikes..i might find a novel awsome.. some other might just hate it...but yeah my favrites -:
the valkyries by paulo coelho
the english teacher by r k narayan
love virtualy by danial glattauer
@GlenM and in food anything spicy that suits my taste buds :)
@GlenM
My coping skills:
1. Watching funny movies/drama or Dry Bar Comedy, Netflix is a joke and Michael McIntyre.
2. Go to the movie by myself.
3. Karaoke-ing (do you know that Karaoke is Japanese for "empty orchestra"? Isn't it hauntingly beautiful?)
4. Listening to Muse! (when I feel really angry/mad)
5. Taking care of my plants. I love flowers.
6. Take a long nap.
7. Drinking chocolate milkshake.
8. And last but not least, talking to my LTL on 7 Cups 
@UndomesticGoddess awesome recommendations! what would be the instructions you would give to someone to relax and take a nap? and love the milkshake idea!
Also, I think you are spot on on comedy - i wonder about a playlist of just brief 1-3 minute comedy clips. I think that could be especially helpul.
@GlenM
What would be the instructions you would give to someone to relax and take a nap?
First, set yourself to take a nap. It means good bedding, a clean environment to sleep in, and the right temperature. Then set your alarm clock on how long would you like/need to take a nap. I always take a 2-hour nap. Put away your phone, lights off, and lay yourself on the bed, close your eyes, and take some deep breaths in and out slowly. Happy napping!
These are not a playlist, but these videos are very helpful to me. It always makes me laugh, no matter how often I watch them:
One from Michael McIntyre called "The Man Drawer"
One from Drybar Comedy called "Hispanic Parenting Fails" by Dennis Gaxiola
One from Netflix is a Joke called "Why Chinese People Love Money" by Ronny Chieng
And because I'm a big fan of comedy, these are my favorite tv series from:
HIMYM "The Naked Man" from Season 4, Episode 9
Friends "The One Where Everybody Finds Out" from Season 5, Episode 14
Hope this helps, enjoy, and have a good laugh! 😂😂😂
Also, I think you are spot on on comedy - i wonder about a playlist of just brief 1-3 minute comedy clips. I think that could be especially helpul.
@GlenM
I do a fair amount of hand-sewing and embroidery. One needs to concentrate to line up the stitches beautifully. I can zone out for hours with a piece of linen in my hands. I am also a musician (harpist) and it is also the same process.
@Fradiga my grandmother did this and it was very soothing to her. she'd start a blanket and then wait to hear when someone had a baby and then give it to them. any good links you can point me to on how to start this? something that would be easy for someone to pick up?
@GlenM
As it happens, all this hand-sewing and embroidery is a hobby-ministry. I am retired and became a specialist in altar linens, which is all "whitework" (white-on-white embroidery) I learned a little of that skill while I was young (and raised in a convent) and thanks to amazing finds on the internet, I developed this hobby to a better level.
I spend two hours a day on average as a responder only on 7cups and two more hours on my hobby.
@GlenM
Heya , I'm cris
My coping methods are.........
First of all I stop over thinking about some matter or situation .
1) Stop overthinking
2) listen to motivational music /songs
3) Talk to family members and just take some random topic and discuss
4) Call friends and talk for hours
5) Take a walk / or learn something new such as a new dish or a new song on guitar
6) Photography
7) Read short motivational stories
8) And even listening to others on 7 cups just makes me feel super good.
These are my methods to just try and cope up with something sudden
Have a great day😇
Love yourself💜
Speak yourself🙃
@Cristlecares Hi Cris! I like the CBT focus - do you say anything in particular to help limit overthinking?
@GlenM
I feel that to stop overthinking you should just know that overthinking won't help. Overthinking causes more pain and it will hide truth and will just show us some lies and possibilities. Knowing that overthinking is of no use is enough to stop overthinking.
And if u just want to stop thinking about that then just pick another topic and just think about it. There are so so so many things to think and wonder about ..why simply overthink about a single situation or thing.
This is just my opinion.
Have a great day😇
Thank u💜
@cristlecares
Those are great ideas! Thanks for posting
@GlenM
oh my gosh! What a great forum post! I love the thought of discussing coping skills and self care with others, no matter if I am helping a member or a fellow listener to offer peer support. I kind of see what we call self care here on this site.......really can be amazing coping skills!
I guess I have my very own little "tool box" ready and waiting for me whenever I need it. And everyone is different for what is truly best for them!
We can't always control what happens to us but we can control how we react. Sure, even here on 7 cups, you just walk away. 7 cups asks me to truly plug in and to care, so I don't see people as simply pixels on a screen and neither am I. If I do my job and I care, well, if I really am front and center, it can affect me if I feel as if I have been poorly treated. woo hooooooooooooo tool box time:
I love the power of music. I call it good things in = good things out. I try to listen to powerful, motivational music that tells me I can! No sappy, sad music for me to sit in the pity puddle. I will sing along, dance a little and not only hear the message but feel the message. We all have what I feel ends up being negative energy that somehow get's absorbed. I got to work it off and work it out.
To feel even better about myself, I take some of that negative energy and assign a task to myself that needs to be done. Something that is labor intensive, cleaning, organizing, while listening to that great music. I feel like I turned a negative into a positive, can sit back and look at a job well done. Feel successful and feel better about myself and my "to do list". Plays right into my wheel house of "plan your work and work your plan". at some point, you almost have to say, "thank you horrible moment, look at all of the fuel you just gave me to accomplish my goals".
I do simple things also. Hot bath and just relax for a little bit.
Light richly scented candles in my house to bring me joy and make me special to myself if there are times when others didn't appreciate me so very much.
I pick up a motivational book at the very end of the day, snuggle with my dog on the couch with a blanket and some fluffy pillows. I tell myself I matter too and to remember to be kind to myself!
One of the things I do, that could be vastly different from others could be for me to read my positive reviews that members have left for me. Maybe I have a different mindset. I try hard and try to learn in lots of different ways around here, LSR, forum areas, mentors, etc. So many opportunities. But for me, sometimes our members can be our very best teachers. And so, for me, I believe in the power of positive affirmations. Those members cared about me enough to leave those reviews, well, I'm going to read them. My members really have no idea what they have done for me! They have become a part of me now by becoming a part of that profile page and therefor, an extension of myself. My profile page and my screen name is an extension of myself here on this site. Hey, it's me, Gizzy! And so, sometimes if I think I can't, I read those reviews from members that tell me I can! 
@GlenM
I would say listen to music,praying to God & reading our daily bread bible will help me especially it helps me to ease my anxiety.
🙏thank you😉
Here are some things i do!
- Talk to my friend 👩
- Spend some time with my 2 cats 🐱
- Have a nice cup of tea ☕
- Watch something on TV 📺
- Do a crossword/ mindfulness colouring 🖍
- Make cards 🎨
- Put music on really loud and sing 🎶
My coping skills:
If I'm worked up and need to slow down, I get a snack, my book, and light a candle. (Even in daylight) It helps me to unwind.
If I'm feeling overwhelmed I find one small thing to organize- a drawer, a counter top, my purse. It helps to have control over something.
If I wake up with my mind racing I remind myself that most solutions found in the middle of the night do not make good sense in the morning, so there is no use thinking about the problem. I get my book to distract me until I fall back asleep
When I feel bad I watch movies. It's my mom's hobby and mine. Every weekend we watch movies together. Here are some of our favorites:
-The Professor
- I Feel Pretty
- Tag
- Every Day, 2018
- Mister America
- The Diet Don`t Die
- Last Christmas
- Stuber
Since we are big fans of movies, quality is important to us, so we usually watch movies on Amazon, Netflix, Hulu and other premium movies streaming sites .
@GlenM
I listen to music, hang out with people I love and get busy with work.