Are you too hard on yourself?
Have you ever found yourself being too hard on yourself?
Something happened, and you might start immediately to blame and criticize yourself without even checking the real facts. It's normal to think about mistakes and even to feel like you're not good enough at times, but being overly critical can make you feel worse about yourself and even prevent personal growth.
Being very hard on yourself usually comes from a mix of things like your experiences growing up, your personality, and the way you've learned to think others expect you to behave.
Participation question:
What kinds of questions can you ask yourself if you're feeling like your inner critic is being unkind or harsh? For example, you might wonder, “Which part of me is talking now?” or “What story or message is that part trying to tell me?”
Helpful Videos:
How to Tame a Pitiless Inner Critic
Self Love ~ A Five Minute Guided Meditation
Helpful Resources:
Want To Be Less Critical Of Yourself? This May Help
Seeking Help
Mental stress can cause us not to be able to see the good things in life and lead to excessive rumination or worries, which can result in serious health problems. If you have serious, long-term problems with negative thinking and feeling depressed, see your doctor or talk to a therapist if they are related to any mental challenges.
Are you looking for a therapist? 7 Cups has online, certified therapists with a paid option. For more information on what happens in online therapy at 7 Cups, Read Lisa’s (a therapist and director of therapy) explanation
https://www.7cups.com/forum/therapy/General_2432/WeveLaunchedTalkTherapyon7Cups_319430/
To apply for 7 Cups online therapy, click on this link (must be logged into member account) https://www.7cups.com/online-therapy/?ob=1
What part of myself is trying to protect me from something?
@Lauren63
That's a good question, Lauren. I think sometimes it's connected to things that have happened in the past. Even if they're no longer important now, they can still influence how we think or feel.
@amiablePeace77
What kinds of questions can you ask yourself if you're feeling like your inner critic is being unkind or harsh? For example, you might wonder, “Which part of me is talking now?” or “What story or message is that part trying to tell me?”
We all have inner critics. Whether anyone realizes it or not we’re all hard and/or harsh on ourselves sometimes. It may be for good reasons or bc we don’t know how else to express our opinions, feelings, or thoughts about anything that relates to ourselves. Or maybe our inner critic is purposely being harsh or unkind to ourselves as a form of “tough love” in an attempt to motivate us to do something.
@akunknown
Thank you for sharing this interesting point!
@amiablePeace77
You’re welcome my friend ❤️❤️❤️
@amiablePeace77
Aging seems to take care of such situations, particularly if you know you can just let go and that what is important is in order.
But then, I do not remember having such feelings before in my life. I was always very active, whether taking care of work or home, and then, when time allowed, going for hobbies, reading or writing correspondence.
It might be due to upbringing. My siblings and I were told that kind of exercise was akin to "staring at your own belly button". It was only when I was preparing my confession to the priest that maybe I would make an effort to come up with something interesting (and true!) about my young sinner's life. So every Friday afternoon from grade 2 (First Communion) to grade 7 (Confirmation).
What kinds of questions can you ask yourself if you're feeling like your inner critic is being unkind or harsh? For example, you might wonder, “Which part of me is talking now?” or “What story or message is that part trying to tell me?”
@Fradiga
Knowing you can relax and that what's really important is taken care of helps you feel free and more tolerant towards yourself. Aging has advantages too!
@amiablePeace77
Yes, I am over the hill, but the nice thing is that one goes downhill after the summit and it is much easier on your mind.
@amiablePeace77
Where are these thoughts coming from?
What triggers them?
Are they ongoing ?
Are they recent?
Do I process them?
💛
@Amanda84
Thoughtful questions!
@amiablePeace77
Are you too hard on yourself?
Yes
@Clio9876
It can be hard to stop being so hard on yourself, but I hope you will get there, step by step.
So I just wonder if there's a time when you should be critical like if you're being lazy or avoiding something or procrastinating or didn't prepare sufficiently for something?
@niceSugar7848
Good point! It's important to know the difference. Sometimes we need to apply constructive self-criticism. If you expect too much from yourself, though, and feel like you're falling short, it might mean you're being too hard on yourself, also, when you hold yourself to different rules than you do for other people.
Yes, very often but I'm learning to be more gentle with myself ❤️
I’ve been told I am very hard on myself it is a learning process for sure.
@JasonSolo0001
Often we're much harder on ourselves than we would ever be with someone else! I hope you will learn to give yourself the same kindness and compassion as you would give others.