Fitting In
For people, feeling like they don’t fit in, aren’t like others, have different interests, or just haven’t found a space they feel comfortable in, it can be extremely challenging and have an impact on their mental health.
Participation questions:
- What challenges do you face about feeling like you don't fit in or belong?
- When are the times you feel or felt most that you belonged?
Helpful Videos:
8 Reasons You Do Not Fit In and How To Belong
Finding Belonging When You Feel Lonely, Unloved, Misunderstood And Disconnected From Others
Seeking Help
Mental stress can cause us not to be able to see the good things in life and lead to excessive rumination or worries which can result in serious health problems. If you have serious, long-term problems with negative thinking and feeling depressed, see your doctor or talk to a therapist if they are related to any mental challenges.
Are you looking for a therapist? 7cups has online, certified therapists with a paid option. For more information click on this link https://www.7cups.com/online-therapy/?ob=1
Image by M. Nohassi Unsplash
Taglist updated 6-29-23
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I find as I age I careless about how others view how I choose to live. I feel I belong to those who cars for me and are there for me when times are the toughest. 💕💕💕
@SunShineAlwaysGrateful
Having caring people around you in tough times is important. I find as well the older I become the more important it is what feels good to me than what others think about me.
@amiablePeace77
- What challenges do you face about feeling like you don't fit in or belong? I do not really enjoy fireworks. It reminds me too much of war and guns going off. Very unsettling.
- When are the times you feel or felt most that you belonged? When i have a good one to one with a member. Then I feel I am doing something meaningful.
@soulsings
Having a good chat with a member, feeling to have helped someone or given them a time of ease is very rewarding.
@amiablePeace77 I agree.
@amiablePeace77 When I feel like I don't fit or belong I don't know what I should be saying or how I should acting. It feels uncomfortable and stuffy making me want to leave as soon as possible. I feel like I belong when I'm with people I know. For example friends, family, and cousins. I can act more natural and more like myself around them.
@jzheng2025 being around new people we can not be sure how they will react.
@amiablePeace77
- What challenges do you face about feeling like you don't fit in or belong?
- I feel on edge and anxious. I want to run away as fast as I can. I hate it and it peeves me off.
- When are the times you feel or felt most that you belonged?
- When I am by myself because I know myself and I am used to being alone, not by choice but a learned response. However that is so lonely
@WorkingitThrough2
Being lonely all the time is hard. I find grocery stores are great opportunities to make contact with other people for a brief chat like for example about a product. I hope coming here will make you feel less lonely too.
@amiablePeace77
I love coming here to have people contact😊❤️
@WorkingitThrough2
You're so much appreciated here! 💙
@amiablePeace77 this may sound somehow selfish, but let me explain. i'm different, which makes it hard for me to participate in social activities. i have more experience than people my age, i have lived in 5 countries by now, lived through a major revolution, a war, various types of abuse, manipulation, emotional burnout, depression. i speak 4 languages fluently, and can pretty much understand about 7 languages. i never grew up with things my generation did, due to my parents. i may even have autism, which i deny, but i do have very many of the traumatic experiences of it because of how different my experiences were to others who mostly enjoyed a happy life
@lana222blueberries
You've been through a lot 💙 I hope coming here to 7cups will help you to have a more peaceful future.
@amiablePeace77
How do I get added to the tag list?
@empathicPresence9091
I just added you so you should get notifications. Please let soulsings or me know if there is any problem.
What challenges do you face about feeling like you don't fit in or belong? Loneliness.
When are the times you feel or felt most that you belonged?
In all honesty I don't think I've ever had a time where I've felt I truly belonged anywhere.
@mytwistedsoul
I'm really sorry to hear that you never experienced any feelings of belonging. As humans we all want to belong somewhere. If your feelings of not belonging do impact your life in a way that makes it difficult it might be worthwhile to consider to speak to an experienced therapist to help you with your lack of belonging.
@amiablePeace77 Thank you. Yes I already see a therapist. We're working on changing negative core beliefs. It's not easy to do.
@mytwistedsoul
Core beliefs are deeply rooted and that makes it harder to change them. Good that you have a therapist to help you.
@mytwistedsoul
Hi 👋 I feel the same so you are not alone and not lonely haha 🤗
@kala Hello Kala :) I'm sorry you have this trouble too.
@amiablePeace77
- What challenges do you face about feeling like you don't fit in or belong? I generally don't like any of the same thing most people do: TV, Sports, Religion, Lies.
- When are the times you feel or felt most that you belonged? in 2015 I felt confident and useful. That crew is gone.
@Gettingbettertoday
It's a long time that you felt confident and useful. I hope coming here will help to build up your confidence again and also give you a feeling of belonging.💙 Helping others here gave me meaning and made me feel useful. Is there something you feel passionate about that could make you feel useful again?
@amiablePeace77
After years of looking i have not found anything that adds meaning to my life. In the beginning i thought i would get better and go back to my old life. I have seen some improvement and have less interest then ever to go back and nowhere to go forward to.
@Gettingbettertoday I think you may want to consider that you are a regular contributor to the discussions and you offer your own unique perspective. I enjoy your participation thee. Sometimes meaning is something invisible that cannot be seen but is there in subtle ways.
- What challenges do you face about feeling like you don't fit in or belong? I actually don't care if I fit in or not....I'm a loner...there are reasons for this, but I won't bog down this thread with them....I don't go out or do things most "normal" people do with a group of friends...I have no close friends except my girlfriend.....I choose this lifestyle and I really enjoy it....my girlfriend is my rock, my soulmate, keeps me in check...she knows I'm not a sociable person and accepts that.....we do a lot of things together, travel, go to theater and shows, but I only go with her....and she knows when being out and about gets too much for me......she does a lot of things with her friends but I'm not bothered by it....
- When are the times you feel or felt most that you belonged? When one asks this question, we must define "belonged" and the "where or what" you belonged to or belonged in......I've felt like there were times in my life where I've put myself in situations and even had jobs, that I felt like I didn't belong in, but I think that feeling is different from what we are talking about here... but as far as "belonging" in what others think of me....they can think what they want.....
@CyclingThroughLife
It seems that you have found your way now. I'm glad you enjoy your life as a loner and have someone to support you at your side!
- What challenges do you face about feeling like you don't fit in or belong?
The biggest challenge with not fitting in anywhere or belonging anywhere is that it takes a huge impact on your sense of worth/value. When you feel worthless, the wells of motivation from which we draw to do anything in the world run dry and the mind fixates on itself and it's problems and flaws in an attempt to locate the problem. To figure out what's wrong with "me". When that becomes too painful, the attention looks to the outside in desperation for any other being that will indicate some sign of acceptance. Thus, the desperate seeking of attention unconsciously presents all it's flaws as if to test the other person and find out sooner rather than later whether they will still accept them inspite of their flaws. This leads to even more rejection and because it's unconscious the person is left befuddled and convinced that the universe of God does not like them.
- When are the times you feel or felt most that you belonged?
When I became homeless and then the very few people I had in my life, first family, abandoned me one by one, including my only online friend I had for years, and then the Guru I had secretly followed for ten years cold shouldered me when I reached out. I felt as if I did not belong to this world and it ripped a hole in my chest in a certain way that changed me forever. Because of this, I never look down on or judge anybody, even if we're arguing and fighting. Not even a criminal. Because I don't believe that most people know the pain of total abandonment and worthlessness.
oops.. I misread the second question. Sorry, the time I felt I most belonged, that wasn't in childhood with family, is when I was doing really well with my spiritual progress and got a sign that I belonged to my gurus small spiritual family. The other time was in my biggest breakthrough experience (heart opening) where I felt I belonged to God and existence and it was the most incredible experience of my life
@CompassionateDetective
A spiritual anchor can be very strong and comforting. I personally find great comfort in mindfulness teachings.
@CompassionateDetective
Thank you for sharing this with us. It must have taken a lot of strength to go through what you've experienced and I hope that it did not destroy your faith in people. There are people in this world who understand but as you said most might not have experienced those extreme pains of total abandonment and worthlessness and simply do not know how it feels to be completely on your own. I hope you will find some sense of belonging to 7cups 💙
@amiablePeace77 It's like you really heard me. Thank you so much good person!