Sitting with Discomfort
Nobody likes to experience unpleasant feelings. When something goes wrong many of us tend to use distractions to avoid getting in touch with what bothers us. We train ourselves not to allow discomfort but discomfort is part of life and the more we can accept it the less it will bother us. The Pain times the Resistance we put up equals the Suffering we experience
Sitting with your discomfort is simply allowing yourself to be comfortable with discomfort. It means not to try to push unpleasant feelings away but to sit through difficult feelings and allow them to lessen and leave us.
Part of self-care involves allowing ourselves to actually feel all of our feelings, even the uncomfortable ones.
Participation question
If any, which distractions are you using: television, sleep, video games, the Internet, intoxicants, work, or other forms of escapism to avoid what you’re feeling?
What changes can accepting discomfort bring into our lives?
Helpful Videos:
How to actually sit with your feelings
How to practice feeling your feelings
Helpful Resources:
Seeking Help
Mental stress can cause us not to be able to see the good things in life and lead to excessive rumination or worries which can result in serious health problems. If you have serious, long-term problems with negative thinking and feeling depressed, see your doctor or talk to a therapist if they are related to any mental challenges.
Are you looking for a therapist? 7 Cups has online, certified therapists with a paid option. For more information on what happens in online therapy at 7 Cups, Read Lisa’s (a therapist and director of therapy) explanation https://www.7cups.com/forum/therapy/General_2432/WeveLaunchedTalkTherapyon7Cups_319430/
To apply for 7 Cups online therapy, click on this link (must be logged into member account) https://www.7cups.com/online-therapy/?ob=1
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@amiablePeace77
Participation question
If any, which distractions are you using: television, sleep, video games, the Internet, intoxicants, work, or other forms of escapism to avoid what you’re feeling? y-tube, gameing,sleep
What changes can accepting discomfort bring into our lives? a lot of emotions and closenees or distance
@alysianna
It might not be easy to face all of those emotions, but it can help us to thrive.
@amiablePeace77 for distractions I use my 3 little pigs, drawing painting. My biggest distractions are 7 cups and sleeping
Letting myself sit through the emotions and feel them, is a very scary thought. Distraction may not be the best option, but it's easier. My sons 13th birthday is at the end of the month, I'm distracting myself in any way I can right now, not to spiral into depression. I love him so much, I wish he was with me and not in heaven right now
@Tinywhisper11 offering comforting hugs if you’d like them. ❤️ Please try to take the very best care of yourself you can at the end of the month. Pay extra close attention to making sure you’re eating and drinking water, the basics. Maybe think of some little extra comforting things you can do for yourself. I think I remember you saying somewhere that you do something for your son around that time. Maybe you could buy or make something that’s for both of you, like matching things? I’ll be thinking of you over the next few weeks.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas thankyou so much ❤❤ I bought him a skateboard😁 I hope he likes it, I got a treasure chest I keep his presents, and things I make it write for him in ❤ and I wrote a poem, I'm going to attach it to a balloon on his birthday and let it float up to heaven 🙂❤
@Tinywhisper11 He is going to love every bit of it! I love the balloon idea especially. I will say a special prayer for you both. ❤️
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas ❤🙂 thanks sweetie ❤ hugs you tightly ❤
@Tinywhisper11
You suffered a terrible loss, and it hurts. I wish there could be anything I can do to help. Please know, I am here for you to talk and for comfort. 💙
@amiablePeace77 thanks ami ❤❤ your so kind to me ❤
Distractions I use include sleeping, video games, internet, drinking, art, getting out of the house, and TV. Some are healthy distractions when used properly, others are just destructive. I used to overeat my anxiety away, but I have conquered that one. I think right now I’m also doing better with the drinking.
Letting myself feel this stuff and let it go would hopefully reduce the amount I actually suffer in the long run. It would allow me to enjoy the present more instead of being stuck inside my head with thoughts. It would probably help ease my anxiety for future situations, because when I don’t let things go I think it makes my future interactions even harder. It’s like I go into the new situation with a bunch of stuff still weighing on my mind, and it probably changes how I behave.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
You made a great observation! To make a fresh start we need to let go first of what burdens us.
Glad to hear that you stopped overeating because of anxiety and drink less. I hope coming here will help with drinking. Alcohol can present itself as our best friend to soothe our pain in the moment but in fact is our biggest enemy and will cause more pain long term.
What helps you atm to deal with anxiety? Please let me know if you need any links for calming videos or other resources.
@amiablePeace77 Thank you Ami. ❤️ Different things seem to work at different times. Right now what helps my anxiety the most is imagining my worries floating away, releasing them, trusting that things will be ok without me having to control them.
@amiablePeace77
any, which distractions are you using: television, sleep, video games, the Internet, intoxicants, work, or other forms of escapism to avoid what you’re feeling?
I don’t escape my feelings. I don’t believe feelings can be escaped. They’re yours and part of you, well your inner self specially. Whatever I’m feeling I’ll write it down. I’ll listen to music too.
What changes can accepting discomfort bring into our lives?
I think accepting discomfort is a part of life as life is not as the old saying goes “always a bed of roses” will help you deal with your discomfort. No one likes things like discomfort, pain, rejection, break ups, etc but it’s all a part of life.
@akunknown
I very much agree with you, discomfort is part of life and the more we accept it the easier it becomes to allow it.
If any, which distractions are you using: television, sleep, video games, the Internet, intoxicants, work, or other forms of escapism to avoid what you’re feeling?
I don't have cable and I can't work but the rest ring true.
What changes can accepting discomfort bring into our lives?
Under the assumption that it really does build resilience to further stress and trauma, then I suppose it can make one more resilient.
@Zeraphim
Building resilience is hard for sure but it will help in life.
@amiablePeace77
If any, which distractions are you using: television, sleep, video games, the Internet, intoxicants, work, or other forms of escapism to avoid what you’re feeling?
What changes can accepting discomfort bring into our lives?
I use the internet to distract myself. I find that because of my worries and fears, I can't concentrate on things like I used to (reading, art,etc).
Accepting discomfort could help me to finally find another job.
@NotAllHere713
The internet has many benefits, but it also trains our brains to quickly shift focus to the stream of pop-ups, prompts, and notifications what can impact our ability to maintain focus. I hope coming here will help to sit with discomfort.
@amiablePeace77
My passive coping methods tend to be the internet and TV. It used to be alcohol, that is a method I picked up from childhood watching my parents "deal" with things. I am glad I broke that cycle and don't reactively turn to that anymore. I do believe that humans have been programmed to avoid discomfort and pain through portrayals in entertainment. What do you see in most movies or TV shows every time a character is struggling with something in life? They grab a bottle or some drugs and disassociate from their reality. That affects the subconscious mind. It is called TV "programming" after all. Rarely if ever, have I seen a character do some deep breathing or go to yoga class and have a green smoothie to help them deal with their problems. But that is what we should see in a perfect world.
It takes much more awareness of self to choose something more healthful or constructive to help you cope when you experience discomfort. Once I learned that we are a product of the choices we made yesterday, it made me think more carefully about the ways I was choosing to cope. You can't do the same things and expect a different result. So it is about making better choices consistently and building new habits. Then it becomes second nature. My healthy coping methods include playing with animals, dancing, singing, watching comedy, and cooking.
@aCalmOasis
I am glad you could break the learned cycle of drinking alcohol to deal with problems. Playing with animals, dancing, singing, watching comedy, and cooking are wonderful alternatives! It is important to see that we have choices for sure and not feeling we are helpless! There needs to be some change in the media, I so agree. Would love to see people on tv rather calling their therapist, going to a group than using alcohol. It could make a great difference with those who watch, particularly the younger generation who needs good role models.
If sitting with your discomfort causes anxiety and/or panic attacks then what do you propose someone to do then?
@cafedaydreams
Good question! It does not help to go through extreme anxiety or panic attacks when sitting with discomfort. Doing something that helps to calm like a walk outside or some work in the house can help to wind down and allow me to sit with discomfort as long as I can allow the emotions without getting overwhelmed by them.
@amiablePeace77
If any, which distractions are you using: television, sleep, video games, the Internet, intoxicants, work, or other forms of escapism to avoid what you’re feeling?
@SummerKay2024
Great thinking! Building positive habits can bring wonderful changes in life.