Compassion and Pain
- Have you ever become more compassionate toward people as a result of your own pain?
- Please share an example, if you're comfortable with it.
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@soulsings
- Have you ever become more compassionate toward people as a result of your own pain?
- Please share an example, if you're comfortable with it.
I feel compassionate towards people in general but especially when people feel anxious because they were bullied.
@amiablePeace77 no one should have to put up with bullying.
@soulsings
I have grown more compassionate toward people in general. I remember seeing a bruised neighbor lady because her husband beat her. My mother was verbally abused so I felt the neighbor's pain, even when I was a child.
Why did no one do anything about this you ask? I grew up in the ghetto in the 60s. No one did anything to protect beat women. The chief of police lived a few houses down. He did nothing.
@purpleTree4652 I am sorry for the rough conditions you faced. You seem to have a lot of compassion.
@soulsings
I had an operation on my spine so I understand how people who live with pain feel!
I understand how hard and isolating it can be to be a carer.
Going through alot of grief , I understand the devastation and how difficult it is to come out on the other side!
💕💜
@soulsings
Not so much pain as experience and lessons learned. Discoveries too. Answering the second question first:
My own late husband was a womanizer. When I discovered this, instead of confronting him right away, I reflected and decided that 1) the problem wasn't mine; 2) life with him and our kids was good; 3) he obviously loved me best and was always proud of me. There was a sort of spread sheet in my head to evaluate the pros and cons of disturbing out lives as a family.
He thought he had a secret, but it became mine. Sure I was shocked at first, but the situation made me laugh as well. He must have realized something when my gynaecologist called him to get STD medication from our pharmacist, but I mentioned NOTHING even then and he did not either.
His way of life maybe was the result of his profession (he was much admired as an attorney) and possibly hormonal too. He could not help himself. I always was faithful (in spite of offers!) because I loved him anyway and it would have complicated my life. I wasn't ashamed anyway and kept my head high.
Also.... faithfulness in intimate relationships and marriage is not a prerequisite in a lot of non-Western cultures. The weight of this vow made or implied in marriage or established relationships is a bigger burden than "for richer, for poorer" and "in sickness or in health".
In answer to the first question: This is something I often and eventually share with members coming to me with "betrayal" issues and it makes it easier not to judge and shine a new light on their situation. It allows them to calm down and make their decisions from a better place, I hope.
- Have you ever become more compassionate toward people as a result of your own pain?
- Please share an example, if you're comfortable with it.
@Fradiga you have a very mature attitude in not reacting with jealousy and blaming and shaming. You put the family first and that was very big of you. I heard from some people that in some western Europe countries it is accepted that the man will have a mistress. I do not see the benefit of this to a relationship, but it is wonderful that you were able to refuse the offers you got when knowing he was doing that.
@soulsings
Thank you! I often hear of people who will fcck anyone else as a revenge tactic for any actual or imagined infidelity.
Others will feel ashamed of their partners and think their whole social life will disintegrate because what the other is doing. So, in order to protect that, they will decide to separate even at a huge cost.
I remember watching a TV show in Japan where an old, rich and famous couple were interviewed. The wife complained that her husband did not have a mistress, which would have boosted her social standing in her eyes. Totally the opposite of what Westerners usually think.
I have.
@soulsings
Yes, my pain made me more compassionate
I know how it feels to suffer quietly, so when I see someone struggling, I feel their pain even if they don’t say a word
@independentAvocado7315 that is a gift to treaure to have compassion for others.
I have compassion for people who have to fight very tough battles all by themselves. And, yes, I am often in that position.
@QuietLightning I find it easier to empathize with people who are living and thinking similar to how I do.
Yes, this is true. It can be difficult for those who think differently to receive empathy from others.
@soulsings
- Have you ever become more compassionate toward people as a result of your own pain?
- Please share an example, if you're comfortable with it.
Yes, i think it can go two ways, the revenge path, or the compassionate one
at first i think we can get mad, why do some people are okay and why not?
we focus on the people who don't share our pain, or an anger towards them
but, after more growth, we notice the portion who do share our pain, feel them, and try our best so those wouldnt suffer as much as we did once
@daydreammemories I definitely prefer the compassion path also
@soulsings In general I have become more compassionate towards all people. I will do my best to step out and offer my help, Chat to them, offer to find them resources etc. Everything that I didn’t get during my abuse. I aim to give others what I would have wanted for others to do for me but didn’t.
@eternalHero77 those sound like wonderful outcomes.
@soulsings
Have you ever become more compassionate toward people as a result of your own pain?
People with mental health issues. I would earlier disregard mental suffering.
@trueconfidant123 so that sounds like a positive change.
