Dealing with challenging situations
What was the most difficult thing you had to do in life? Without going too much into detail what helped you to deal with the situation?
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@amiablePeace77
Cant remember smth specific but i always trust myself 😊
@amiablePeace77
Many things have been hard, but my biggest battle was with depression. I became my own worst enemy.
Reflection saved me. I wish others could find solace as I have but I understand it's not always so clear-cut.
@cyanessence
I'm glad you found solace and did not give up! It can be hard not to listen to that voice which wants to pull you down and tell yourself "This is not how it is, this is how depression wants me to see it". Please feel free to share a few things that helped you apart from reflection. It might help someone else.
@amiablePeace77
Depression is truly a monster. I'll gladly elaborate.
It seems I needed a reason for things. A perspective that made my life make sense. I have always struggled but did not know why, and so I could not take steps to improve. It turns out I was struggling with autism and ADHD. By knowing these things, I could seek advice that works for me. There are many tips and tricks that help one deal with these conditions.
By removing uncertainty, my anxiety has also largely disappeared. Of course, there are still many things that are uncertain. But I truly believe knowledge is power, power to live truly as oneself.
One cannot always make dramatic shifts. I can see how knowing one's condition could lead to a sense of hopelessness. I take solace in the existence of time: things necessarily change. Knowing is half the battle; action is the other. Keep trying! We cannot know the future, but we can always use reason to make choices that lead to a better life.
@cyanessence Thanks so much for sharing this. It makes a lot of sense that finding answers would lessen your depression. Depression as we know isn’t just sadness, it is a deep mindset of helplessness and hopelessness. Being able to figure out what explains your symptoms would give a sense of having your own power in your life again. Answers means you now have a kind of roadmap to actions we can take to fix things. Personally, I seem to feel less depressed when I’m making changes for myself. But as you pointed out, sometimes the answers we get can lead us into another kind of roadblock, wondering what do I do now? Or life circumstances limit us, and we think things can’t get better. But we really have no way of knowing when and how they get better, as most of us can’t foretell the future. ☺️
It seems like the key is to find whatever small things we can do within our individual situations. Even the tiniest action can help us feel empowered. We just have to do one small thing at a time, until we find we have made more progress than we thought possible.
You’ve given me a lot to think about. Thank you friend. ❤️
@cyanessence
Thank you very much for sharing your wisdom with us!
Lots but the most difficult one was leaving my sons dad knowing the relationship not healthy and never was gonna get healthy I had to leave after 12 years
@adrjust1
It takes a lot of strength and courage to take that steps, glad you did!
@amiablePeace77
The most difficult thing I've had to deal with in my life is having to be the source of strength for everyone else and having no support of my own. (TW)
Just in the last year:
My daughter was assaulted twice, my son is suffering from a degenerative disease, my husband is emotionally unavailable and basically another child I have to take care of. We were already struggling not to be evicted every month and now I lost my job due to too many "Unexpected Emergencies" (I'm so sorry my kid being in the hospital meant someone else had to go to the post office gosh, good thing you fired me or my family's many crises might have ruined the entire business) and I am trying to go to school while dealing with everything on my own and only receiving neglect or anger from the one person in my life who should be my strength, my support, my friend, my partner. No. Instead he blames me and just sleeps.
I'm doing it all by myself and I just can't anymore. It's gotten to the point where the only thing keeping me alive is knowing what it would do to my kids if I decided not to be. I wish it were an option. I know it's not, but to even be able to dream of escape would be a relief.
@PointlessExercisesOnceAgain
When stress begins to accumulate from negative or challenging events in life that just keep coming, you can find yourself in a state of feeling emotionally worn out and drained. I'm so sorry this is the case with you right now. Sometimes a good talk with a friend, a listener here or even with a professional can make you see new opportunities you might not have seen before.
@amiablePeace77
Thank you for your kind words. I wish I could put your advice to good use.
A friend would be great if I had any. Even one. I do not.
The professionals (and I am seeing a therapist) keep misdiagnosing me, which makes it very difficult for them to be of any use. Still going to see them, but it feels like just another pointless activity - and being misdiagnosed just adds to my stress.
The listeners do give me a place to at least voice my issues rather than leave them circling my brain, but none of them are qualified to actually help me. They can listen, but I may as well just be journaling. And I've been doing that.
There is nothing anyone can really say to help me. I need a new place to live. I need a new job in order to afford said new place. I need a new job in order not to get kicked out of where we are now, but I'm also back in college and can't work/school/mom and hope to retain my mental or physical health. Trying to do all that has taken a hard toll on me. I crashed and burned months ago, but I still keep going because what other choice is there?
What I need most is for my partner to treat me with love or at least some level of kindness instead of the neglect, dirty looks, and blame that are all he has ever given. I am not okay, and he doesn't notice or listen or try to care. I'm tired of begging for his love. I need someone who wants to care for and about me. But no one does. No one ever has. I'm only needed, never wanted. Tolerated for my usefulness, but otherwise an invisible burden.
I'm a bird in a cage from which there is no hope of escape.
@PointlessExercisesOnceAgain
I hope that one day soon things will change in your favor, and you can find peace within and your surroundings. Right now, it's rough and it takes a lot of strength to continue but please do not give up. Everything changes at one point! There is so much beauty in the world and so many things to explore. You deserve to see it! We can't change your situation, but we are here to listen! 💙
