Traumatic Experiences Community Check-In: Saturday-Sunday, 11-12 July 2020
Traumatic Experiences Community Check-In: Saturday-Sunday, 11-12 July 2020
Hello Community!! 
This is a supportive space, so the topic is optional to participate in.
Some people view this as a complicated topic, and for me it is one that has a personal side to it as I struggle with it often. Today's topic is over self-love.
What is self-love? Self-love is defined as "love of self" or "regard for one's own well-being and happiness.
Self-love is about loving who you are, all of you. All the good, the bad and everything in between. It is unconditional compassion we give to ourselves. This process is unique to each person.
Why is it important? You are the only person thats with you all day. You know all of your thoughts, your feelings, your struggles. Since this is the case, you ultimately influence yourself more than anything else. This should tell you how important it is to treat yourself well! Self-love is basically making you your biggest fan, a role only you can fill. Although this doesnt mean you cant have a support system made up of friends, family, loved ones and others.
What are some ways to practice self-love? No two people are the exact same when it comes to what they do for self-love. But sometimes there are things that are generally used. The following are four ideas, this is not what works for everyone.
First is being kind to yourself. This can mean physically, mentally and emotionally. There are so many different ways to practice this.
Second is being grateful. Having an attitude of gratefulness is an amazing way to try to focus on positivity, growth and hope.
Third is being intentional. This means to notice our thoughts, and ways to change and improve. It helps inspire a healthy space of mind.
And finally to just be yourself. Take it one step at a time, one day at a time. Do everything at your own pace. You are in charge of you after all.
No matter what youve experienced, please know that it doesnt make you any less of a beautiful person who deserves love, respect and support like everyone else.
Check-In Questions:
How are you feeling this weekend?
What are some positive things that you have going on?
Are there any ways you practice self-love?
Feel free to check in again over the weekend if anything changes or something comes to mind that you want to mention.
(My internet is not the best so I will be reading all responses and replying when I can.)
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@AstronomySkies
How are you feeling this weekend?
I'm feeling stressed and finding it hard to gather and control my emotions to keep myself calm. I find myself becoming upset and panicked when my partner wants to discuss something that has upset her and in turn making that about me rather than working through her problem together, due to past experiences in a relationshop.
What are some positive things that you have going on?
After 4 months apart, me and my partner will be reunited tomorrow! Exciting but makes me nervous too due to problems we've been having lately as I haven't healthily processed past experiences yet.
Are there any ways you practice self-love?
Reading, writing, knitting. Trying to do practical things that keep myself busy.
@rainbow3140
Those are great distractions. And yay for being reunited with your partner.
@BraveAdventurer
Thank you! I'm slightly nervous but very excited to be with her again :)
@AstronomySkies
1. I've been feeling pretty anxious for the past week. I feel like there's been a lot happening in my life lately but, I am thankful. I'm just finding reasons to be thankful through it all. It's all a process and I don't know when I'll be okay but, I'm trying to stay hopeful. I feel stuck and numb.
2. I made a new friend yesterday! He's super cool and our conversations are really nice and not forced at all. Hopefully, this is a friendship that lasts.
3. I practice self love through literal self care sometimes. I like to change my hair a lot and have mini spa days. The change is refreshing and much needed. But sometimes, like now, i feel like I might be running from my issues and feelings. I feel like it's just so much and I would rather push them to where I can't feel.
@CoolBeans29
Self care is fun. Any fun hairstyles planned. Yay for the new friend. I hope it works out. Also, I love your positivity.
Thank you for this check-in. It is much appreciated.
How are you feeling this weekend?
Unmotivated, a bit sad and self-critical. I was thinking about how I severely injured my knee a few years ago. My first instinct was to downplay the pain and find somewhere 'safe' to be alone and ride it out, believing once I could get the pain under control I could do something about it myself and no one would know. Yet the pain didn't go away and I nearly went into shock and couldn't move until someone found me, and I felt afraid to be found. It was a small wake up call reflecting more subtle behaviors that go on every day. I don't know how to trust anyone. Whenever there is trouble, I want to appear invulnerable and hide like a theatened wild animal. It is maladaptive, but ingrained.
What are some positive things that you have going on?
I have a secure job, my husband is attentive and kind, I am in fairly good health, we have a stable household with enough to eat and everything we need. Lots of positives in my life, if only I could get out of my own way.
Are there any ways you practice self-love?
It might be an act of self-love to allow others to show their love. One of my friends gave me a beautiful gift over a year ago and I never opened it because I felt like I didn't deserve it. It has been sitting in a corner since. Maybe I will get up the courage to open it today, and then contact her.
I apologize my answers weren't more optimistic or light. This stuff is really hard, guys...
@calypteanna
Open the gift! You have amazing gratitude. And I hope your knee heals soon. That can be so painful.
@AstronomySkies
Hey! Thank you for the check-in
Today I just feel unmotivated to do anything. I think I often do during the weekend. Part of it has to do with being an introvert. I spend all week dealing with people and trying to help them resolve their problems and during the weekend I just want to hide from the world. I am also feeling stuck. I want to change my current living situation, but can't figure out a way to make that happen.
Some positive thing going on...well I really like the money tree on my desk. I got it a few months ago and it looked horrible when it arrived (ordered online), but it has turned out to be beautiful with time and care. It's nice to have a bit of nature in my room. I also feel blessed to have my cat. She is considered a senior cat, and I adopted her from a shelter 4 years ago. I cry with her, laugh with her, play with her etc...She is the best thing about coming home.
When I am feeling down, like I do this weekend, it is hard to do self care though I realize it is when I need it the most. Sometimes I take a nice bath with essential oils, candles, and relaxing music in the background. Other times just watching a TV show is enough to make me feel better. Lately, I have been trying to restart connecting with my spiritual side which feels like self care since it encourages me to bring positivety into my life.
@zeravat119
Cats and plants are the best. I'm glad you have them. Care to share about your cat.
@BraveAdventurer
My cat is a ginger tabby. She is no 11 years old and mostly sleeps all day. I adopted her four years ago from a shelter. Her previous family had her since she was a kitten, but could no longer care for her. I remember in the shelter. unlike other cats that were active and trying to catch people's attention, she just looked really sad and was huddled in a corner. I asked to see her and they put me in a room with her. The second I sat her on my lap, it was an instant connection. It may sound crazy, but it's like I could feel her spirit bond with mine. I had held many cats over that month trying to find the right match and had felt nothing like that. At that time another family had been interested in her so they put me on a list in case the other family changed their mind. I got a call the next day saying that the family decided not to get her, and I immediately went to the shelter and picked her up. It is by far the best thing that has happened to me over the past four years. She has been with me through the worst years of my life and as ridiculous as it might sound, she is my best friend. I have been very lonely the past couple of years dealing with my mental illness and she has been a constant in my life. She is very calm. Sleeps most of the day. She sits with me when I am watching TV and at night likes to lay on my stomach. She loves being with people. People think of cats as being detached, but my cat is social and loving. She makes me happy
@AstronomySkies
How are you feeling this weekend?
What are some positive things that you have going on?
Are there any ways you practice self-love?
I'm feeling good this weekend. I powered through most of my essay this morning and am off to volunteer later today. Some positive things are nice pizza, a pretty garden and good music. Practicing self-love is not easy but it's getting there.
@SynSavory
Volunteering, pizza, and finished assignments. Sounds like a good, productive day.
@BraveAdventurer Surprisingly yes, I wish more days were like this! :3
@AstronomySkies
How are you feeling this weekend?
Numb atm. There were amazing things like kayaking and wildlife sightings that brought joy. Some comments that brought pain. And a punch that brought pain/fear/self loathing. I just feel empty now
What are some positive things that you have going on?
but there is always good. I saw a bald eagle catch a fish, I learned to paddle board. My car is clean and passed inspection . I have some good friends
Are there any ways you practice self-love?
Takimg time to stop the rush and occasionally give my body/mind what it needs.
@BraveAdventurer
I find being out in nature really can help me too at times. Love your way of practicing self care, we all need to slow down more at times!
Hello!
How are you feeling this weekend?
Not so good :( Im stressed out because school is starting soon.
What are some positive things that you have going on?
Hmm...cant really think of one. But I guess Id say my favorite comic series is making a comeback soon, if that counts :P
Are there any ways you practice self-love?
Just the sameold self-care, I guess ^^
Thanks a lot for the check in! Take care~
@AstronomySkies
How are you feeling this weekend?
Tired, numb, like life is an endless jumpscare video game but nothing ever jumps out to release the fear of waiting for it to happen.
What are some positive things that you have going on?
Friends came over and poked me with a stick to prove to me that I was real and that they were real.
Are there any ways you practice self-love?
I am consistantly feeding myself healthy food, and doing my best to stay hydrated. I keep meeting up with people so I don't self isolate 100% like I want to. Self love is not pretty or fun in my opinion, but it's something that needs to happen.
Thank you for the check in.
@AstronomySkies Thank you for the post Skies
How are you feeling this weekend?
I am doing pretty good, just chilling. Although I had a conflict with my parents, it is going better.
What are some positive things that you have going on?
Summer vacation hehe, I'm finally stopping with caring what others think of me and doing what I want! Plus I got the girl I always wanted :p
Are there any ways you practice self-love?
Affirmations, treating myself with something I like, putting toxic people out of my life...
I hope you had a wonderful weekend as well.
