Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check In - Monday February 19th 2018
Bit of excitement for our American friends today. Its National Chocolate Mint Day! For extra excitement, its worth being aware that Feb 18th was National Battery Day. Suggested way to mark the day - remove dead batteries and replace with new ones! And Saturday was National Cabbage Day - I can barely contain my excitement.
Saturday was also National Random Acts of Kindness Day, in the States at least. But Id like to suggest that becomes a daily day, everywhere. Kindness costs nothing, yet rewards so richly, and it doesnt just reward the recipient of the kindness, but its rewarding for the giver of the kindness too. So Im encouraging you today to become a RAKtivist.
‘WHAT IS A RAKTIVIST?
‘RAKtivist is short for ‘Random Acts of Kindness activist. Think of RAKtivists like kindness ambassadors—and, like all ambassadors, theyre a part of an active, global community.
RAKtivists are everywhere. The student who stops to hold the door open for a teacher with her hands full? That person is a RAKtivist. The commuter who offers their bus seat to an elderly passenger? That person is a RAKtivist too. The parking attendant who leaves a note on someones car, complimenting their parking skills? You guessed it: RAKtivist. Anyone who believes kindness can change the world, who reminds everyone around them how much love there is in the world, who inspires hope and generosity with their actions as much as their words—theyre a RAKtivist
All of you here, who share so much, who support one another, your kindness keeps others afloat. Youre not alone, others understand, we appreciate you for the unique individual you are. Remember:
anyone who believes kindness can change the world
anyone who reminds everyone around them how much love there is in the world
anyone who inspires hope and generosity with their actions as much as their words
THEYRE a RAKtivist. YOURE a RAKtivist
I am hardcore avoiding finishing this rough draft right now, but I do actually have a RAK for today even though I havent gotten out of my pjs! I was scrolling through one of the local garage sale pages on Facebook, and someone was selling an electric fireplace. Her post said it was only a couple years old, and there was nothing wrong with it she just needed the money for bills. Well, I dont like that. Ive been there, and its a bad place to be when youre selling things off to pay bills. So I went to her profile and sent her the money through Facebook with the message Keep your fireplace :). She sent me a super grateful message and took down her post. I wasnt gonna tell anyone, cuz thats not why I did it, but since you posted about random acts of kindness, there ya go! :)
@BeeLeigh
You're a beautiful soul. 💜💟
@KatieMoon1
Awww, thanks Katie! 😊💜
@BeeLeigh
Thats a very generous RAK, and I imagine that meant the world for that person. The beauty of these acts is that people will then often pay it forward. So your kindness will be remembered, and may well light an ember in that person to feel that strong sense of empathy in the future for another, remembering how much it meant to her when someone was so kind to her.
Ohhh, I just love random acts of kindness. Sometimes we hear of so much bad in the world, and living through trauma often reinforces that idea that people are uncaring and unkind. Some are, thats true, but so many people do care. It can be easy to forget that, so when these little reminders come along, its so very heartwarming and life affirming. Stay kind Bee, youre beautiful.
@DeborahUK
I do stuff like that all the time. My favorite part of Christmas is pulling tags off the Angel Trees (idk what else to call them so just google it if you dont know what that is)! I bought lunch for my coworker on her birthday. I got my one coworker a pricey gift card to a local grocery store shortly before Christmas because her husband lost his job and shes now the only income for four people. I donated for our needy patient families for thanksgiving and Christmas. I donated way more than I actually had for the hurricane victims, but theyd just lost everything and I have everything I need. I still have my three girls that I sponsor, and Ive been seriously considering adding another one. I just love to help people, because Ive been there. Ive had less than nothing, and it sucks. Ive gone days without eating because I literally had no food. During that time, Id eat whatever half eaten food I could find on the side of the road on my 3 mile walk to work and my 3 mile walk home. No one should have to experience that. I do what I can now, because no one helped me then (dont blame my family, they still dont know how bad it was cuz I was literally 1,000 miles away).
I dunno where to go with this so decided to come in here.This morning is kind of hard for me.It's mostly about parents, not having them and not having adult role models I can and want to connect with.And on top of that-no matter with whom I would connect...even if I would decide to and be brave enough to take that step...They will never be my parents.So it's hard.It hurts more than usual.I feel that emptiness like never before.Things I lack, things I start to feel for the first time ever, processing some totally new things.As I slowly get older and am all grown up I start to put it all together more and more...And sometimes it's just...A lot to deal with.I think the most dominant emotion is sadness.Silent, very deep sadness and that feel that no one will or could understand.Loneliness, sense of being so alone even if I'm not at all alone in my daily day life.Just wanted to leave this in here and don't want for people to come at me.I feel very vulnerable when I talk about this so I also might get overly defensive and sensitive but I'm grateful for having this place and safe space to sometimes just leave my thoughts in here, not be afraid to be so vulnerable because I know people around here treats this all with great respect which means all to me and adds that ekstra sense of "I'm safe to be who I'm the way I'm at this given moment".
@Morfo66
I'm so sorry you're feeling this deep sadness at the moment. I think I know how you feel, i've often felt that loneliness and that deep deep sadness at not having the parents I wish I'd had. Not knowing what it feels like to be unconditionally loved by someone that I know will always have my back.
But I've come to understand and accept in the past couple of years that family really isn't always the people who you are related to. We can create our own families in our hearts; people we look up to and follow and turn to for guidance and support. You can choose people in your life to be "surrogate" parents, people you trust and who are there for you when nobody else is. Those people, your heart family, you get to choose those people for yourself. And they become your special people, the ones you will treasure and the ones who, in turn, will treasure you.
I hope you can find people that become your heart family so that you feel less alone and less sad. In the meantime, you know you have a family in here. You're not alone <3
@WaterLily16
Thanks a lot!
@WaterLily16
Your heart family - thats pretty beautiful.
@Morfo66 - I hope you can find some comfort in Lilys post. You may feel so lonely, but youre not alone. The sadness is that its possible to feel lonely even when surrounded by people. But Im tentatively holding out my hand to you, one you can hold on to for reassurance should you need it. Youre not alone dear friend.
@DeborahUK ( @annie @chasingchaos @anomalia - yeah, I know. Platy go to bed!)
Hi :) Today, Monday, February 19th, 2018, is much better known in the USA as President's Day. Our kids here (and many places throughout America, I'd guess) have no school! and Yes, they are excited about that! Just ask my fifth grader!!! 
(I'm her mentor.)
President's Day is a day where we celebrate all US presidents past and present, as leaders of our country and instrumental in creating (or approving) change. In 1971, President's Day was changed from Feb 22nd to be the third Monday of February, thus allowing for more three-day weekends for our nation's workers. Banks will all be closed. We will receive no mail; all postal workers = day off! :) Government places of work shall be closed for the day as well. The mall will be open! hehe
This holiday, acknowledged in February, is between the birthdays of two of our most famous statesmen (and presidents) -
George Washington (our first president, who's birthday was the 22nd) and
Abraham Lincoln (our 16th president, who's birthday was the 12th; he is the namesake of my high school).
Have a super day @all-of-you - a President's Day for Americans and a grand Monday for all other countries :) lol ..... <3 Platy
(Platy reminded self and checked facts for accuracy here: https://www.history.com/topics/holidays/presidents-day )
When I get to the day portion of today, I will try to remember to come back here and enter my RAKs for the day :) Platy
@DeborahUK
Its Clean Monday today for us and nope it's not a day where you clean. It's a fun day I guess you could say it! For more take a look here https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clean_Monday
Rak for today!!! 
@dancingRainbow45
I'll grab one, I think it will ease my painful thoughts I have for some people here
@sensitiveShade5337
Hi Shade,
I am sending safe hugs as well during this challenging time.
I am glad you checked in today.
💛 🌻 and just in case you would like a snack as well, I am sending a cookie or two with ice cream.
🍨🍪🍪
@Compassionatelistener108
well thanks! 💚
@Compassionatelistener108 Wheres mine. I love ice cream and I could do with some comfort food plllllleeeassseeeee!!!!!! <3
I will read more about RAKTIVIST after school when my brain wakes up.
This is just me rambling so..
It is just past 4am and I am wondering how many versions of my second sad song there are, along with how many version of sadness I can feel. Language so often can be a blunt and difficult tool, it misses the point and its meaning flutters away, never being caught. Other times though, it can wonderfully expressive as it tears me into pieces. Then it has a way of helping me deal with whatever this confusion is, whatever emotion this is... The words are:
@AmalieAnne, your use of words is amazing, eloquent! Wow. Thank you for wonderfully thought-provoking post. Linguistics is fascinating.
A word or two in defense of the prescriptive approach to language?
As an English teacher, I taught (and encouraged compliance with) the rules of language in order to promote understanding and clarity. Especially in formal communications in business and law, precision was important, so knowing and following the rules was important. When I worked as a judicial officer writing legal opinions and crafting orders at a court, I knew it was crucial to be clear.
But in personal and informal communication—and in art—I loved to explore new ways of cracking words open to get at the kernel of meaning. I like to mess with structures and symbols to find a way to express, in print, what I craved to express. I enjoy the struggle to replicate a voice, a tone, a pitch, a pause, a nuance. In poetry, and in messages to friends, I try to use symbols, marks, emojis, anything I can to reach the essence of a feeling, a meaning. In that, we are kindred spirits I think. ❤️
@Annie Trust me my words are not amazing and only sometimes eloquent. There are two linguists in my family so there is no need to defend formal language, I can understand that when you write in a more formal manner it has to follow the rules. Although I think those grammarians are a pain in the bottom. Written French more often than not has no relation to how you would say it, it also has genders all over the place. While English is nuts because the letters often do not match the sounds and has the most inconsistent grammar in the universe. So I am quite happy if I just pick the right word and some sort of correct grammar. Recently though I put –oes when I want to pluralise it, no reason, just happens.
Mostly my teachers have been understanding though and I have dyslexia as well, so I have some tricks. What age where your students… see, how do I ask that. While you were teaching, what age range did you teach? Even ‘linguistics language is more than communication it is identity and history. I like that you use symbols, marks and other things it tells me you are not one of those bossy grammarians 
. Have you ever read about discourse theory? For me that is interesting, Foucault is perhaps the main name but Goffman and Garfinkel work is also amazing. Derek Edwards work on emotion and Michael Billig on ideological use of language is also worth reading. I do not understand it all but it is so interesting. I think maybe I am talking too much. Keep exploring
@AmalieAnne, I love your enthusiasm for language. I
Hi everyone,
Thank you for the hug! I will definitely be passing along all of the kindness that I have received from the community. I believe that is a lifetime of offering compassion 💛 I am off to begin the day.
Safe hugs to you all. I hope you have many bright moments in your day 🌻🌟
Found anew person inside today 
RAK: I bought a phone case for my mum in law and I am making cards to give out
