Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Tuesday 12th June 2018
Hello lovely trauma family
Well it seems that every day of the year marks an Awareness day and June 1st was no different. Did you know it was World Narcissitic Abuse Awareness Day? I didn't know either until Tenacity told me about the "2018 Survvivor Empowerment Telesummit" that she had registered for that weekend. So I registered too. This is a growing global movement with the aim to heighten awareness of narcissitic abuse, provide resources and education for survivors and effect policy change.They came up with the hashtag #IfMyWoundsWereVisible as narcissistic abuse is so often invisible and it strikes at the very soul and indentity and psyche of the victim.
It was an amazing weekend and the demand was so high that to begin with "It broke the internet" so they had to sort this out first. There were 17 presentations from speakers who are leaders in the field. So we were spoilt for choice. And it was certainly empowering to be part of a community like this. I thought I'd share a little with you today from this smorgasbord.
First listened to Michelle Stevens, psychotherapist and author, who spoke on "The Only Way Out is Through" Her own story of survival is very much part of this,and is very moving. She emphasized how connection and relationship is so significant in healing, and how this had been her experience in therapy. She suggested that in looking for a therapist, these factors are important.. that they have training in trauma, that they are a survivor, that they have had their own therapy, and that they believe that healing is possible..
And then HilaryJacobs Hendel, who has a background in science and psychoanalytic theory, and now works in a very different way with emotions, believing they are the key to healing anxieties, depression and mental health issues. She has developed a fascinating model called The Change Triangle. This is decribed with accompanying stories in her very recent book, "Its Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to your Authentic Self." It could be well worth our exploring this further at some time, or if you're interested to visit her website.
Then Bill Brennan, a very spiritual man, who spoke about not neglecting the spiritual, and how important this is for well being. That its good to find a spiritual practice that suits one, and then to find a teacher who can guide, and then to find a community in which to share .
And a message that came through is that narcisistic abuse is pathological, and constant exposure hurts your brain, and has the potential to lead to PTSD. It is not safe to be around a narcissitic abuser and often going no contact is the only way, or at least limiting your exposure to keep yourself safe. They are not going to change.
How is your day going? Was there anything of significance in the above for you? Or pop in to say hi! You're welcome here.This is your space and a safe place.x
@rozie
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❤️⛺
@melliotm
Hi melliooo 👋
@sensitiveShade5337 Hi Shade! 😎😸👋🏽
@rozie
Thank you for sharing 
I often have wondered whether I was around narcissistic abuse. I have even written articles about it, yet still I am not certain! I want to look in to some of these books/people you mentioned. xo
P.S. I feel very grateful that I currently have a fantastic therapist.
@singercrystalspirit
Ok, so I can help with this
These are the websites that I found comprehensive information from the talks I listened to and actually the most useful
https://www.freefromtoxic.com/ - Bree Bonchay
https://cptsdfoundation.org/ - Athena Moberg
https://neuroinstincts.com/ - Rhonda Freeman
This one is a list of articles written by Bree
https://www.freefromtoxic.com/list-of-posts/
This one you may find helpful specifically
https://neuroinstincts.com/a-few-basic-differences-between-psychopathy-narcissistic-personality-disorder-part-one/
Athena has a YouTube channel also
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_pxd6gjX2Dd5amM_uboiRA
@Tenacity37
Thank you dear! These will help me try to figure out whether or not certain people I was around were narcissism or narcissistically treating me?
@Tenacity37
Thank you so much for giving us these links.. the ones you found most useful. It reminds me that there was so much information and so many resources. very grateful that we had this opportunity and can share something of it. x
Hey Rozie always love your check ins
Today s okay for me. I am struggeling a bit at the moment. My mother thinks i am just a lazy person but she doesnt know what things i have to fight daily in my head.
I just feel like In my life ...i dont know how to describe it better, its like i ve been swimming for the past two years non-stop, trying to not drown, and i really want to reach the shore. I am getting exhausted from swimming and choking from the waves and just want to be in peace.
Theres still that boy who i really like, who knows about my past and supports me, and i am really trying to get more normal around him since i am often anxious. I really feel like were getting closer and i do trust him a lot more than i did a while ago. i am making only little steps forward but i feel like i am being too hard on myself.
Wishing everyone a lovely day!
@dynamicHemlock1736
Yes it can be difficult when others don't or can't understand what we are dealing with daily.I guess you have tried to talk with your mother, or could you give her some information to read that may help her to undestand. And sometimes we just have to accept that they're not going to get us. But there wil be others who will.
Sounds like you are gamely swimming rthere, one stroke at a time, and its hard going. Yes to reach the shore and know that peace. I'm thinking that your learning to trust the boy is ani indication of you moving forward. We don't always notice this ourselves.
With best wishes to you too. x
@rozie
Just a hi.
@honestLand773
hi! good to see you here. x
@rozie
Can I just sit here and cry... Too much today, can't do it anymore 😢 tried being strong but I'm not strong
@calmLake1999
You can sit herr and cry!!! And I think I'm going to push back at what you said. I really have come to believe that sometimes the strongest thing we can do is cry. It takes stregnth and bravey to just sit and release whatever needs to be released. ❤️ I'm glad you shared today because now I can sit here with you. There's no shame in resting. There's no shame in crying. There is no shame in healing. ❤️❤️ Thinking of you and praying for you today. ❤️
@calmLake1999
Can I sit with you? I have cookies 🍪
@calmLake1999
Yes you can calm.. Sittiing here with you. x
@rozie
Hi rozie! Miss you
@sensitiveShade5337
hey :)
@WaterLily16
hi lily
@sensitiveShade5337
Hi Shade! miss you too. x
Had a bad nightmare last night and haven't been okay all morning :(
Listening to little kids songs helps me feel a bit better?
@lovingBanana5204
I had a nightmare last night too. It sucks doesnt it? Im glad youve found something to help soothe you <3
@WaterLily16 It really does. I
@lovingBanana5204
Ive had them my whole life. Now they come and go. At the moment Im having a fair bit, some worst then others. On average about 3-4 a week. Its tough sometimes but you gotta remind yourself of where you are. I find it helps to just like talk to someone sometimes, even if its just to distract yourself and also not feel alone. Also breathing exercises. I do this thing at the moment where I hold my breath for as long as I can and then blow out and then breathe in and hold it as long as I can again and keep doing that until I basically wear myself and fall back asleep! Lol but it works :)
@WaterLily16
I'm sorry that you've had to deal with them for so long and that you're having some now, too. But good for you for finding ways to manage them! 
I've always had nightmares, but not this frequently. It's been this bad for about a year, maybe a little less. It's almost every night, sometimes two in a night. But last night was good! Whew! :)
Those sound like good ideas. I can't normally talk to anyone at night, but I probably could in the morning, assuming I could get out of bed. I will try holding my breath more, haha! Thank you! :)
@lovingBanana5204
Glad the little kid's song help you. x
@rozie Me too, haha! Thanks :)
Hi Rozie
I'm not sure how I feel today. I like being able to see my bunny, I like being able to sleep on a comfy mattress. I don't mind being around my family when things are going ok. But I don't feel truly comfortable at my parents house. I am worried that things will turn bad, I know that is inevitable, it is just a matter of time. I am scared for when that time comes.
@FloweringBunny
Good to have you here with us and glad you have your bunny and your comfy mattress. Yes It can be hard to be with our families at times and especially when its unpredictable.Does it help to keep the time shorter and know that you can leave.. thinking of you. x
@rozie It does help to know that I can leave, and to know that I have somewhere safe to go. Thank you for replying rozie
@rozie Hello! Today is going pretty ok....everyday is getting better.
@TheLeftTwix
Lovely to hear this. x
today's post is not a topic Iam ready to talk about, so I am just going to say hi and I hope everyone's week is going well so far. Things are okay here...would be better if we could get a break from this CRAZY Texas heat. 111 degrees yesterday! This May was the hottest one on record where I live.
@TeenyTinyAppy
Phew that is so hot for you! and its only May. You know we come to things when we are ready and there is no pressure for anything else. Its ok to be just where you're at. Hope you can find a cool place. x
