Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Tuesday 5th September 2017
Greetings to you all!
Thinking about today and what to say, how could we better start than with a few words from that loveable bear Winnie the Pooh:
"A friend is someone who helps you up when you're down, and if they can't they lay down beside you and listen."..... Winnie the Pooh
The friend we all need..and especially at times when the going is tough. And I see friends like this here daily. Maybe just a few words of comfort or encouragement, maybe its that you understand, maybe that you listen. And we share friendship in this group, in our community.
And in the words of Judith Herman : "Those who have survived learn that their sense of self, of worth, of humanity, depends on a connection with others.The solidarity of a group provides the strongest protection against terror and despair, and the strongest antidote to traumatic experience. Trauma islolates; the group re-creates a sense of belonging. Trauma shames and stigmatizes, the group bears witness and affirms.Trauma degrades the victim, the group exalts her. Trauma dehumanizes the victim, the group restores her humanity." Judith Lewis Herman "Trauma and Recovery The Aftermath of Violence -From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror."
So in celebrating friends and community,a moment to pause and reflect on this.No questions today, but an invitation to share any reflections on this, what you enjoy, what you would like, how you are helped. Love to hear from you. This is your space and a safe place. x
@rozie
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@Softforesthsp77 @AriannaPink
I was brave today.
I was tenacious today.
I got the final lot of tests done today.
It was a pap smear and a smear test.
I froze afterwards.
Still trying to settle now.
Trying.
@Tenacity37
I've never been to that doctor. I can't bring myself to go. I've thought about it a few times...but I can't do that. Not yet. That's too much. I'm proud of you. You were absolutely brave today!!! You should be proud of yourself for going! Take a break and rest now. Relax with a good comedy movie or show. I've been watching the funny auditions from X factor and america's/britain's got talent lately on YouTube. That's been pretty helpful! Find something to lift your spirits. You've been very tenacious today Tenacity. Take pride in that strength ❤️
@BeeLeigh - me either!
@Tenacity37
Well done! It took me forever to be that brave! I still get all buggered up from them but once I have a doctor I can trust and who is FaST then it gets easier.
Self care sometimes is not all bubble baths and treats, sometimes it's the hard stuff that has to be done to take care of ourselves and you did it! Now do something that makes you feel good. You deserve it. 💕💫
@Tenacity37
Way to go, Tenacity. 👊
@Tenacity37
I know for some of you those tests can be scary under certain um circumstances... And I know if it were me I would probably never step into the waiting room, let alone get the tests done. I am very proud that you faced something very scary... How are you doing now? Do you feel okay after everything? Thank you very much for posting, and we're all here for you! ❤
@AriannaPink
Glad to have you here with me! x
Aww thank you @rozie It's really an honor to be working with you ❤
@AriannaPink
Glad to have you here with me! x
@Tenacity37 - wow, that is heroic and inspiring of you. go you! that is a huge accomplishment. you can celebrate being able to go to that appointment all month long. you are amazingly brave.
Good morning everyone!!! 😁
I am a little extra sore today! I sleep on my side(s). I kinda switch sides a lot, but always a side. That wouldn't be a problem if I hadn't gotten a shot in the side of each arm and each thigh! 🙃
So...I'm a little extra sore and today should be just super duper awesome 😜
I know some of you are ending your days, but it's only coming up on 7am for me! So if your day is ending, I hope it's been a great one! If your day is half over, take some "you" time tonight! If your day is just beginning like me, I hope you have a fantastic day! 😁
@BeeLeigh the shots are for rabies yeah? Because of your batty encounter the other day😬
@melliotm
Yeahhhhhhhh....stupid bat 🙄😒🤦🏼♀️
@BeeLeigh
Love sunflowers too and your Happy Tuesday! Thank you. Hoping that you had some rest and felt better as the day went on.x
@BeeLeigh
Hey Bee! Sorry you're sore today :( I know injection sites can be terrible! I hope you become less sore, and won't be so uncomfortable when you sleep on your side again tonight :)... Thanks for posting! ❤
@rozie
Hi *hides*
.. *comes out*
I say Im okay but I'm not :) How are you?
*hides again*
@sensitiveShade5337
I actually am okay Shade, thank you for asking us! Wat's going on that has you feeling not okay?
@BeeLeigh
I'm sad and anxious. I have to study but I cant.. I feel so useless for not passing on university and for having to retake the finals and all just seem so impossible. I'm literally done I want to give up even if its just the beggining. I wont lie to you but I've lately been thinking that its not worth living anymore.. I'm just so overwhelmed and I'm tired of hiding my emotions.. I need help and some support, I still dont have this. I have it here but seems like its not enough. I feel safe in here and I appreciate all the support. I really hope to just move on from thinking that life is not worth living as its so hard to live thinking that. I'm sorry if i triggered you or something but I just felt like i could just tell you :'(
@sensitiveShade5337
Shade, if I had a listener account, would you want to talk to me in there?
@BeeLeigh
If I know that is you, yes! But dont make it bc of me, make it bc you wanna make it :) Promise me? :)
@sensitiveShade5337
I made one yesterday. Because I wanted to ❤️
Message me any time you want! I promise this is me (I even went and double checked just to be sure!) "edited by Saltydog68 - we are not allowed to share listener account details in member account"
@BeeLeigh
okay I will try to message you if I find you
@sensitiveShade5337
Glad you popped in to say hi! I'm doing okay thanks. So proud of you that you shared some more with us.Concerned about you too and the struggle you are having at the moment. Yes you're safe here with us. Please take up Bee's offer and have a chat with her. You are not alone... we are all here with you. Hugs. x
@sensitiveShade5337
Hi Shade :) I'm doing good... How are you really doing? If something's bothering you, you can talk to any one of us :)... Well I hope you're having a great day, and thank you for posting ❤
This is really something to reflect upon.
**trigger warning** (I think... not sure)
I have no diagnosis of C-PTSD; I have a recent diagnosis of GAD. But I was bulimic for 7-8 years. I told myself I hated myself, over and over again, in conjunct with performing the acts I performed. I had a father who I heard verbally abuse my mother and my siblings chronically, with no one doing anything about it. I was in a manipulative romantic relationship (more than one). I experienced a physically violent roommate and had to take her to court for a restraining order.
I appreciated reading this. I looked up the author and read she coined the diagnosis C-PTSD. I find this really interesting, because connection to the group is important for all humans; humanity needs it to survive, as I literally wrote in a post to someone here yesterday, because we are a vulnerable species. Maybe trauma, by definition, is something that takes away this portion of what humans need to survive and creates an environment of isolation instead. Maybe that is its very defining quality.
It would be interesting, to think of it this way, especially politically, with the divisive environments that are going on, and with the wars. Politicians divide, as do wars. They divide and they ravage. Contrast that to the "hippie" groups, who historically praise Gaia and Mother Earth... love, and peace, and unification and community.
That is all I have to say.
@singercrystalspirit
Thank you for sharing your reflections with us. Agree that the experience of trauma often does lead to isolation. And yet it is in connection with others that we begin to heal.And as is said in the quote, group solidarity is helpful. As humans I think we long for community and that sense of belonging... and as you said as a vulnerable species we need this,
Sounds like you've really been affected by your history and to be in an environment where there is constant verbal abuse is emotionally traumatizing. And a diagnosis gives a name to the effects that you are experiencing, whether its GAD or C-PTSD or depression. .. all effects of this. And then its about the journey of recovery and healing which i know you are on. x
I'm having a horrible, triggering day. 
@resourcefulPond1641
Aww I'm sorry you're having a really sucky day :( *hugs* I hope tomorrow is a lot better for you... If you need to talk you can send me a message at any time :). Thank you for posting ❤
@AriannaPink Thanks!
I like this quote. I'm going through a wild point in my life (parent confrontations, parental divorce..) and it's such a releif to be able to say for sure that have at least one person i can count on to lend an ear or a virtual shoulder.
@Shadeshack
Yes you have! Sounds like you're going through a really tough time and that's when more than ever we need "friends" to be there for us... so please ask for what you need. its here in spades. We care for you and will support you. x
@Shadeshack
Aw I know sometimes stress gets so bad that you need a friend, or just someone to reassure you that everything's gonna be okay... That's where I believe 7 cups comes into play... No matter what time of day you need a "virtual" shoulder to cry on, there's always a friend here :). Thank you for posting ❤ and I hope you have a great day!
Slowly working my way through the thread. It's been a rough little while for me, lots of triggers and emotional flashbacks and the like. Processing is hard work heh. I did have a playground visit with my daughter on Sunday morning, which was wonderful. Oh, and a bit of good news -- my daughter's mother rescued my trauma kitty from the shelter this weekend after she heard that I had taken the little darling in. So at least I know that my kitty is in a safe, loving environment.
Much love for everyone, sorry I've been somewhat inactive lately. Just finding it hard to collect my thoughts into a coherent whole. Grateful to all who have continued to reach out via the feed and such. ❤️❤️❤️
@melliotm
Sorry you've been having a hard time with triggers and such :( I hope you're doing better now... I'm glad you got to play with your daughter at the playground :) I know from experience how being around kids kinda just melts all your problems away :). Personally I think it's because of their childlike innocence ;)... Glad your kitty is in a safe, loving environment :)... Now I'm not bad mouthing animal shelters, but because there are so many animals there, they don't each get individual love, and attention. So it always makes me happy when one goes to a good home :). I hope you have a great day! And thanks for posting ❤
@AriannaPink Thanks, Ari -- I miss her like crazy, but it's such a relief to know that she's back in a proper home. I'm doing my best to get through each moment. Which is all any of us can do. ⛺
I don't usually do the daily check-ins but am thinking about starting to. I don't know yet.
Today has been a hard day for me. I didn't go to work today. I needed the day. I know that I ought to celebrate having the courage to take the day off for myself, but instead my brain is just railing me about how bad it was that I stayed home. I know some people will say 'well at least you have a job' but my job is really disrespectful to me and my coworkers, it is really soul-crushing making the decision to go back there day after day after day. When I am not actively distracting myself, my brain just assaults me with all of the things I am doing wrong or not doing better. I have made a lot of progres, but my brain just focuses on the negatives, making me anxious, depressed, feeling worthless. Often my husband and I feel like we are alone in all of this together, just us against the world, and I wish we had a real-life community that embraced us and loved us. It makes us want to isolate from everyone else, which isn't healthy either.
It's all so overwhelming.
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day...
@wontsleepwontwake
No one here is going to say "at least you have a job". I've lost so many jobs because of a "bad attitude" that was really just me not being able to function well enough, and not knowing to take a day off if I needed to. My current job I only work Monday through Thursday. I don't know if I could do it if it was 5 days/week. I need that extra day off. I know that now, and I respect myself enough to not go in even though I can if I want to. Taking time off when you need it is good for you and your work. You can't be productive if you can't function. You should absolutely be proud of yourself for recognizing that need and making sure it was cared for! I know I'm proud of you! ❤️
@BeeLeigh - Aww, thank you. It feels good knowing someone is proud of you, almost started crying just seeing that heart, it's really meanigful to me. I really appreciate that. I never thought about just working four days a week, I wonder what my boss would think about that and if I could convince him. I guess there are always more options than we can see. thank you so much <3
@wontsleepwontwake
Oh you are so welcome!! I agree with Kite, life's too short to hate your job! I left my last job when it became too much for me. I was literally crying in the car on the way home. I hated being there, I hated waking up in the morning cuz I knew I'd have to go there, I hated everything. The manager pushed me too far one day and I cleared out my desk, wrote "I QUIT" on a legal pad, and left it outside her door when she was at lunch. It's not worth it. Something better will come along. I'd at least start throwing out applications online every now and then if I was you. I love my job now! But I never would've found it if I'd stayed at the job I hated! Sometimes you gotta take a leap of faith before you find the best fit :)
Startled awake by a nightmare. Been up for an hour now. Brain just won't give me a break. Too much overthinking (inner critics never sleep) & worrying about the silliest things for me to settle.
My fort seems like a prison sometimes. ⛺😕