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Been in an abusive relationship since 2004 . At first it started off verbal but quickly went to physical. Sometimes I wonder why am I dumb enough to still be in this. I believe I had 8 years of off and on physical . The day he landed in jail for punching in my passenger window to my car and the glass striking my face is the day he stopped hurting me physically . This was nothing comparing to the other things . Now it's sexual, verbal and emotional. Not ready to speak about the first one yet. I have been trying to erase it from my head .

The constant negativity is tearing me to pieces. It's strange to say but I rather have it be a physical hit than then words that haunt my head daily. Cause it may be weeks for the bruise to heal but the words stay with me forever. My self esteem is lower than dirt. I walk around as I'm the ugliest person around. I turned to self harming to ease my pain ( been 3yrs clean ) in which I now have the scars on my left arm to remind me. So now my new nickname comes in place " ugly scarred lady" he says it in Spanish . Before it was " princess of the stupid" . I see myself in the mirror and I don't see beauty . I see hate. Then comes the mind games. I didn't hear what I heard or didn't see what I saw. It's has gotten so bad that I even started doubting myself. When I wasn't around him I would ask a person twice what they said to make sure I heard it right. That's when I noticed I was hearing it right the first time and the only time I didn't hear or see what I saw was around him. I'm always to blame for anything. I catch myself repeating the things he says even when he not around. I have a hard time knowing the difference between him telling the truth and his fantasy world cause of the stories he tells me. I need help. This is truly destroying my peace of mind, my self esteem and my hopes for the future. I just want to feel normal and not like a messed up crazy lady.

I feel like my relationship is getting abusive and I'm not sure what to do. We have a 10 week old baby boy... we were okay before but now... he's gotten really emotionally and verbally abusive to a point where I'm not "allowed" to have feelings.

i just recently got out of a 10year physically and emtionally abusive relationship with narassitc man. Whom the abuse was so bad he almost killed me twice and the emtional abuse so bad, that its been 6 months, that ive escaped, i cant make one choice so i dont ever put self in situation that would cause a choice to be made. i dont have any clue what i like or dislike i dont have any wants, or desires because i gave them all up for him.... i just had him in my room a week ago, and as soon as he walked in he started telling me how i havent changed this, and how im still nasty and literally broke me down to the point where tears flooded my face and snot was just falling from my nose and my mouth wide open and i tried so hard to form words but no matter how hard i tried all i could do was mumble...and i laid my head down so confused and beat down, and he didnt see my eyes open because my hair covered my face, but i watched him as he got up off the couch and walked out...

leaving me a mumbling mess and doubting everything that ever happend. tht maybe it wasnt as bad as he mad it seem, maybe im just over acting....god damnit.

Hi, my name is Bethaney. When I was 16 I got in to a relationship with a boy who was 2 years older. At first he was perfect but after a few months he turned verbally and physically abusive. I then discovered that he had schizophrenia and had stopped taking his tablets, so I stayed with him, because he was unwell and I loved him. After about six months of non stop abuse, that became progressively more violent I got him to take his tablets again. The abuse subsided for a while but it soon reappeared even on his medication, I was weak from trying to save him, but I couldn't leave him, I'd become so dependent, I'd pushed away all of my friends and family, I dropped to a size six, my body was beaten tired and bruised. He'd fractured my hip, thrown a knife at my head, and worse, and the emotional abuse was horrific. I finally left him after two years, because he went to attack my mum. My family had no idea what had been going on, I hid it well.

I'm now 21 and it's been nearly 4 years since I left him. But somehow I still can't sleep for nightmares and I still have panic attacks if I'm cornered. I still have to deal with hip pain that will never heal. I feel like after all this time, I should be better. But I still class myself as a victim and not a survivor..

Every day since I was 7 I've been abused in at least one form by my family. My mother is an alcoholic and she drinks an average of 5-6 bottles of wine a night, meanwhile one glass makes her drunk. After a few glasses she will come into my room and beat me for no reason at all and my father will stand up for her no matter what. My little brother is loved and adored by her along with my half-brother because one is autistic and the other is schizophrenic, when I'm the only normal child and they're slowing killing me. Most nights I've cut myself or screamed I've wanted to die. I haven't seen my mother sober for months but even when she is she still abuses me. In my opinion I don't see the reason for living anymore when I'm only 13 and my mother traded the only few foods I eat nowadays for wine and she makes me work to support her drinking. I only weigh 82lbs when I'm 5'7" so it's pretty easy for her to pick me up and throw me into the wall whenever she pleases. I don't think this is ever going to get better and so far all that has happened is that it's gotten worse.

Hi everyone! I have just been left by my abuser after 6 years of verbal abuse and sometimes physical. His family said I provoked him! I am a shell of myself and I still want to contact him! I feel pathetic, I don't want to be alone as he said no one would want me. He still plays mind games now and controls me and I am about ready to end it because I can't take anymore pain :-( please help I have 2 beautiful children x

@Laura

I have experienced DV for 4 Years, but didn't realise or choose not to. Have been a step mother to a 13yr old child who in herself was abusive and disrespectful. when I asked for his help he said I had to change. He was in control of the money and everything we done as a family.I have two teenagers of my own and they didn't like it when he drank because he would say nasty things about their father..When I did question anything he would get upset, drink and get abusive. He also has an addiction to porn and when confronted with evidence, lied and said his phone had been hacked. For some time after he would shut off from me and give me the cold shoulder. Never appologise for what he'd done. The step daughter ran away and that's when he snapped and told us to leave, that was 5 weeks ago. Have been unable to move out yet and he is being very hurtful. This is not the first time i've suffered DV and am beginning to think there are no decent men out there. I'm also angry at myself for allowing this to happen again. I want to learn how to prevent falling into the same cycle.

Hi all. I've been in my current relationship for about 4 years. Married 1 year. 6 months ago my husband became physically abusive towards me and 2 weeks ago he nearly killed me by strangling me. We were staying with his parents at the time and i moved to a different room of the house for awhile to lock myself in but a week later he tried to pick the lock and get in to hurt me again, with practically no reason because i hadn't talked to him all week because i was afraid. Last week i moved into an empty apartment and I'm still here. I feel safer here but I still fear that he will figure out where I am and come pick the locks to this place too. He has bipolar disorder and a personality disorder and his parents are getting him to go to therapy but none of them are really taking it seriously. I'm here like, he nearly murdered me, and everyone is just walking around like everything is okay and like it's my fault for getting myself hit. I'm seeking professional counseling now my first appointment was today. I'm scared for what's going to happen next and could really use a friendly chat or a chat with someone who's in my shoes or has been here before.

About a year ago, I left a man whom I was with for 3 years. He cheated on me, threatened me with suicide, called me filthy names, threatened to ruin my future relationships, and more. I started to feel suicidal and told me to cut to prove my love to him. I finally had enough and broke up with him. Very soon after we broke up, he raped a girl that looked like me at his school and denied it saying she just "hated him". He also claimed to be too depressed to tell the truth and, of course, blamed me. I cut him off and ignored him for the longest time until someone i turned down gave him an email I am unable to change. Hw emailed me daily hate mail for a few montha before stopping for a short while. He emailed me yesterday saying I was selfish for not talking to him and that he would ruin my relationship with my new girlfriend (I came out of the closet as a lesbian a while back). Luckily, I never met him in person or else I could be physically hurt or even dead at this point. He is finally starting to leave me alone and take a hint that I won't come back or fall to his threats. I'm still struggling to get rid of the anxiety and deoression but I'm staying as positive as I can and slowly recovering. I was abused physically and mentally by a parent in the past so it is more difficult to heal. I hope I can finally recover soon. I'll be thankful for the lessons I learned. (I'm merely a freshman in highschool right now but I did seek help from a parent and a therapist!)

Just joined! Hope to soon become a listener! Would love to help people 💗