What keps you strong?
Hello everyone! I am a new forum supporter here and this is my first thread/post as one. Very happy to be part of this community. I hope you are doing great and that you are taking care of yourself and others.
For today, I wanted to ask you just one simple (or to someone not that simple) question.
What kept you going through a hard time?
Explain: Tell me what kept you strong and who supported you then. What was the most helpful way?
Or if you are going through hard times now:
What keeps you going?
Who puts a smile on your face and what is making you stronger every day.
I didnt want to post some long-a** thread to bother you as this is my first time writing something like this.
I hope we will have fun and that this community will somehow help you! Thank you for giving me this opportunity.
Elena xoxo
@elizabethunter Welcome to trauma! What kept me going thru my hardest times was a lot of professional help. I don't know what would have happened to me without it. Talking with friends on phone or in person with partner makes me smile.
@adventurousBranch3786
Thanks!
Yes, therapists can help us a lot. Sometimes it is the best yo go see a proffesional help. I am happy you are satisified with it.
Speed makes me strong. I just get such crazy adrenaline that I can't stop. Unfortunately at this stage I do not have my own car, but I have the opportunity to rent sports cars. I love this business. [edited by @NoneTheWiser to remove spam/advertising link] They help me, I am always confident in the quality, that everything will be comfortable and reliable.
@marinad777
Adrenalin can be very good and for some people nice to feel it. But, on the other hand be careful with it because it can become addictive and also be careful with your speed in traffic.
To be honest, in the past, I'm not quite sure what kept me going. There had been so many times where I seeked help at the very last second before something bad happened. Maybe I just wanted some attention, as I had no support from my family or anybody around me.
Now, I think having some sort of goal/achievement in life is helping me pull through hard times. Knowing that there is some place I want to be, doing something I think I'll like/enjoy, gives me some sort of motivation to keep going. Of course, there are a lot of distractions along the way, especially when I'm very sensitive and easily influenced by what people say about me and the matters at hand~
@Jaeteuk
Seeking for help isnt a way of seeking attention. We all need sometimes some help and listening. Great you do have a goal! As someone said hope is what makes us strong!
@elizabethunter
What kept you going through a hard time? What kept you strong?
At first, a lot of distractions.
Also jumping into "regain control" mode in whatever way I could.
Like organize things that were disorganized. Feeling good focus and success from that.
Reducing visible chaos in my environment reduced background stress.
Seeing constant visible improvements.
Focusing on what I was good at, and doing more of that.
Focusing on having strategies.
Changing priorities so focusing on getting the basics right consistently, like sleeping, eating, physical activity, breathing and posture. All that was the trickiest part that took a lot of time.
Focusing on little do-able needed projects to get totally absorbed in.
Mentally blocking-out things I couldn't cope with, and focusing on what I could.
Avoiding stressful situations.
Hunkering down for the long haul of healing and staying focused.
Making my life simpler.
Doing things as regular routines and systematically. That helped me simplify things and also made it easier to see how to gradually improve things.
Helping others especially in ways I was trying to help myself.
Calming music.
Controlling my self-narrative and self-talk. Stopping any excessive-ness in thinking.
Frequent physical activity, aerobics, and other activities helped a lot.
Doing a lot of problem-related learning, mostly from reading and watching videos and listening to podcasts, including seeing what others were going through in similar situations.
Becoming very well-read in the problems areas I needed to sovle. Understanding the big picture. Understanding how to make desired changes I needed to make.
Finding solutions to my problems on the internet by searching and reviewing results for best ideas. Trying them. Comparing them to see what worked best. Doing the best ones. Feeling good from the results.
Making new good habits, starting with mini tiny habit versions that were easy on purpose so it was easy to lock in the repetitive-ness and automatic-ness.
Feeling good progress as the habits got locked-in and grew when I added more related good habits.
Focusing on one main goal daily. Coming to 7cups to see that goal on my login page. Being here with people that are all working on making themselves and others better. Intense focus on what matters and blocking out other things.
Asking a "higher power" for help regularly. Avoiding bad thinking of any kind. Asking for help with that as needed.
Asking my brain to come up with solutions regularly.
Thinking back on how I overcame things in the past.
Facing the mistakes I made when I was able to. Forgiving myself for them. Figuring out why I made the mistakes. Accepting that I didn't know better at the time and that's okay and not my fault.
Accepting the situation gradually and going through the change acceptance cycle at a pace I could handle.
Accepting my limitations at the time and doing what I could.
That's everything I could remember.
Please forgive any typos above.
For stress and being-wound up,
what really helped was to learn to physically pause when I was up and about, especially at movements when my motion direction changed.
That seemed to reset my baseline back to normal relaxation mode and out of being-in-wound-up mode.
I was surprised how well that worked.
I figured it out by copying someone who I recalled did that as a mental thought process it seemed. Like they were stopping to think about things when they reached out to grab something, they'd pause.
For me, that kind of pause let my body relax and stop being tense from trying to exert too much control, which caused my stress.
It took mindfulness to realize what was going on.
Once I realized I had a bad habit of staying-wound-up while up and about, the pausing between moves helped me re-center and reset my baseline to stop the habit.
Now it isn't necessary fortunately. The stay-wound-up habit is gone.
Another thing I just recalled that helped a lot with stressful thinking was regularly listening to a YouTube vlogger from England.
The way he talked was always so proper and logical and reasonable and considerate, even about controversial topics.
I think his thinking-style rubbed off on me by osmosis from listening to him so much.
That helped make my mind think very reasonably and proper.
I was very surprised by that effect on me.
They say that emotion and thinking is proven to be contagious.
Now I understand first hand.
@7motivation
Beautiful, thank you for answering!
@7motivation Thank you for these comments.
My dreams and the importance of life.
@HappyVIRUS0303
Agree, sometimes we have to dream to relax.
@elizabethunter
I think what keeps me going the most are my interests. As silly as that is.
I love my favorite TV shows and favorite characters so much. And I love languages and drawing.
I love loving what I love.
Aside from that, I think it's also a sort of self-love that keeps me going.
It's hard to explain but, I think I want happiness and good things for myself. It may be hard to be me, and my life may not always be the prettiest or most comfortable, but it's mine. And I want it to be good. Even if it's only a hope for the future.
@elizabethunter
What kept/keeps me going?
My support group (my best friend, my boyfriend, and a few others), pure spite towards my abusers (a kind of "I'll show you!" mentality), and sheer determination.
