I'm a male but I got raped
My stepdad raped me, and I can't verbally talk about it because I have really bad anxiety. I can't tell anyone really...I feel trapped. This makes me miss my real dad so much...I keep trying to tell myself I can handle this but really I don't know. I don't want him touching me anymore. I want to be alone because I'm really ashamed...but at the same time I don't because it hurts. This is all so confusing. And yeah I'm gay but that shouldn't mean anything right?... Just so unsure.
I have been a victim myself from a family member. It's very hard to talk about it with people you know. I myself kept it a secret for a long time. It only affected me. You need to share your pain. Even if it's with a stranger. Someone who understands.
I think you should share your story with a very understanding, kind, and helpful person. Be it a close friend or a professional. It's not good to keep something like that bottled up. Also let the person you share with be patient. Since you have anxiety, it'd be best if your listener was able to wait for the time you're ready to share. I also think that you being gay doesn't mean anything with this. It's just a terrible experience that happens to even the best of us. Stay strong and believe in yourself, okay?^^
I'll try. But really all I've ever been able to do is kinda just curl up in a metaphorical ball and wait for it to end.
Yeah, I understand. Although I haven't been through something similar, I can tell it's left an emotional scar on you. That IS something that's hard to get over, but once you get the help and support you need after some time, it'll become something that youcan lookback on and say:"I got over it and it's in the past.I'ma lot better now and I won't let him ruin my future, present, or past." :)
First of all, your sexual orientation or gender doesn't matter. If you said no, and your stepdad made you have sex with him anyway, it's rape. Second, you do not have to handle this alone. www.rainn.org is a great resource for sexual assault victims. I have some knowledge in dealing with sexual assault, don't hesitate to send me a message.
Don't feel ashamed. I was raped by 3 guys. There was nothing I could do. You were forced to do something you could do nothing about. Don't beat you self up for it. And if you don't like him touching you then tell him straight up. Confront him with courage and dignity. You can get through this.
All the confusion you are experiencing is perfectly normal for what happened to you. You didn't deserve to be raped. As far as sexual orientation, that has nothing to do with rape. Being gay doesn't cause rape, and being raped doesn't make someone gay. They aren't related issues. I understand wanting to be alone yet needing support. Do you have anyone there for support? Is there anyone you might feel safe telling who would be supportive?
You've come to a good place. There are listeners here who are willing to listen if you need to talk. Some have experienced similar situations as you've described. They can relate to the confusion and shame. I know I sure can.
Check out RAINN for more information on rape resources and information. They have a specific article on male victimization. You might want to also check out the Traumatic Experiences Guide here on 7 Cups. It has some tools for helping to cope in it as well as information on trauma.
Hang in there. You're not alone.
*hugs you close* there is no rule that only women get prone to such things. I'm with you. You can message me anytime, I'd love to be there for ya. :) and as many people said,rainn is really really very helpful. If you can't talk on phone,you can have an online chat. I hope you share how you feel with one of us. Burying memories won't help honey,it may seem fine for a while but its not a permanent solution. You can message me anytime :) lots and lots of love ❤ -chioo
So what if you're gay?! If you say NO,you mean NO! You don't need to be ashamed,its not your fault *pats your head* sexual orientation doesn't matter honey.
This breaks my heart. Have you reported any of this to the police? Your sexual preference has nothing to do with this. You are a victim and your step dad is a horrible person who deserves to be in prison.
*nods head* see honey? You need not be ashamed of anything. He's a bum! *hugs you close* we all are with ya :)
@FaithlessRose
You are safe here in our community. We will support you in your journey to recovery. All you need to know is that you can lean on us & we will catch your fall.
I'm just not really used to people helping...so thanks.
Hello FaithlessRose,
By telling us that you arejust not really used to people helping, and despite the fact that you have been through a trauma by being your step father's sexually abused victim, I sense that the horrible feelings that you are going through are also unfortunately based on deeper things from the past. Does it make sense to you? Maybe I am wrong though, I am just expressing the feelings that I got from what you wrote.
In any case, it would be probably very helpful for you to seek professional help and to get the tremendous courage to open up with him/her, and maybe to a trustable friend or a listener here. I am a listener in 7cups and know quite wellabout sexual abuse. I know that shame, guilty feelings, fear, trust issues are main problems for almost anyone who has been through such horror as being raped or sexually abused.
I don't know if you would agree with me about what I am writing, but I think that having been sexually forced is absolutely the same as if suddenly you were being denied the reality of your existence as being a whole human, as if you were suddenly nothing but a toy, an object who had no free will, and your mind got printed with that. Also, you took for yourself the guilt that your step dad should have felt. I wonder if you feel that anythingI wrote you is true or helpful for you in any way, but I really wanted to share these thoughts with you.
As I am a listener here, you can send me any PM any time and I will listen to you (https://www.7cups.com/1118365). I think that you have had an amazing courage to come here and to write what you wrote about your abuse, and I see it as a wonderful first step towards healing. I am sure that you will get the strength to face what has happened to you and to work it out. I am extremely aware that that work is one hardest and yet most useful things one can do in his life... And you will do it, getting ready step by step, or you wouldn't have told us all that here :)
Does any of what I told you here ring a bell or make sense?
I wish you the so very best on your healing path, please take great care and most of all be safe,
Gilles
Sorry, I thought that the link was bringing you to my profile. Well I am easy to find in the "browse listener" page, just look for the 'French" tag, I will be very easy to find. You can live me a message off line too.
Take care.
@FaithlessRose, please let me first tell you that you can come to me at any time with absolutely anything; need to talk about this? Message me. Need to tell me about a time you _______________? Message me. Anything at all, honestly.
I want to also say that rape isn't something that's limited to females. I feel like saying that you're a malebut you got raped is a way of invalidating yourself, just because you're male. You're not invalidated. You are a survivor, you are a lovely human being.
I'm just going to give you a few references, to let you know that you're not alone, and to have the option to get some sort of help if you feel that's the right path for you.
I know it can be hard reaching out, and to tell your story is absolutely amazing. Please let me know if you ever want to talk. <3 Sending love and good thoughts your way.
We gotcha rose :D we got your back.
That's terrible my friend. I can only merely assume the likeliness of what you feel as according to the hopeelessness and/or how upset this experience makes you feel. Remember that you have the right to speak up for yourself and as a victim you are not the one to be blamed. Some rape vicrims often deal with feel8ngs of shame and it's understandable considering the abuse and being taken advantage of, but it's not their fault nor should any hold it against them. I don't know whether you have any close friend or loved one to confide in with any of your personal concerns, but I strongly advise you to share with them whenever you feel like you need to. I hope I said something of use here and may you be blessed with hope's wishes.
Send ur friend to RAINN.org rape assult insest neglect and...i forget they helped me SOOO much
