Part II: Navigating Your Own Kayak

Great exercise! Here are some of my responses. 💗

What kind of “rocks” or challenges have been showing up lately?

The “rocks” or challenges revolve around my health and the limitations it puts on my activities. I can feel my life options shrinking and I realize they will continue in that direction until the end of my life. I am finding that as my external life narrows, my internal life is expanding.

Try the “forgiveness ladder.” 1) Name the feeling, 2) Recall the earliest memory it connects to. 3) Write one line of compassion for your younger self.

1)      I keep getting hooked on the feeling of rejection.

2)     The first time I remember feeling rejected was at student council camp in junior high and no one wanted to hang out with me.

3)      It hurts when someone doesn’t want to be your friend, but that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you - it's their shortcoming for not seeing the beauty in you.

Can you recall a time when life “leveled you up” through struggle.

Following my first divorce, I was in apathy (despair). I felt like I was a victim and my ex was the bad guy. Searching for answers, I attended a personal growth program that showed me how to take responsibility for the outcomes in my life. I could see the things I had done to hurt our marriage. With this new mindset, I leveled up to willingness (optimism) in intentionally creating my own future. As the pain of the divorce subsided, I recognized all the options out there for happiness.  I leveled up further to acceptance (forgiveness) of my ex, including gratitude for the new beginning the divorce brought.

@GlenM

• Where are you on the river right now - a bit of both
• What kind of “rocks” or challenges have been showing up lately? stress in my marriage
• Checkin: Right now, my river feels like stable…
• Think of a recent challenge. What might it be trying to teach you? Better communication, unconditional love
• List one rock (challenge) and rename it as a “teacher.”
• “My rock: bad communication → My teacher: better awareness”
• What “Mr. 8” moment has recently interrupted your plans? kids
• Write one sentence that starts with “I didn’t plan for having a fight but it taught me to express my feeling better”
• What situation or feeling keeps “hooking” you emotionally? Loving my wife and hurting her and vice-versa
• “Today I’m grateful for the current that carried me through to the arms of my loving wife ”

Thank you so much! I have really enjoyed this part of the river and look forward to the next section!

Part 1: Questions

Where are you on the river right now - calm waters or rapids?

Currently the river is feeling calm, I feel up to date and on track. Although I anticipate the river becoming more rapid in the next few weeks as deadlines approach. I'm trying to enjoy the relaxing smooth water while it lasts. 

What kind of “rocks” or challenges have been showing up lately?

In terms of rocks, a few which have shown up include spending time overthinking about the future workload and setting high expectations for myself. I have been struggling to take some self care and enjoying my spare time as I've been worrying about future work. It is important that I keep reminding myself of the importance of rest to ensure I am functioning at my best!

What would it look like to trust the current a little more this week?

Trusting the current a little more this week, would involve taking some self care and letting 'good enough' be enough! 

Fill this sentence: “Today I’m grateful for the current that carried me through ___.”

Today I'm grateful for the current that carried me through moment of doubt where I provide to myself I'm capable!

Part 2: Closing Reflections

What was one key insight that stood out to you in this part? How can understanding it impact your life for the better?

I really enjoyed this part and taking the time to reflect on myself. The key insight I need to remember is that I not every challenge is a threat! Each challenge is a learning opportunity to allow me to prepare for the next part of the river!

What’s one “rock” or challenge you’re choosing to see as your teacher this week?

The one 'rock' I'm choosing to see as my teacher this week is to reduce my overthinking, to achieve this I am to stay present in the moment!In terms of rocks, a few which have shown up include spending time overthinking about the future workload and setting high expectations for myself. I have been struggling to take some self care and enjoying my spare time as I've been worrying about future work. It is important that I keep reminding myself of the importance of rest to ensure I am functioning at my best!

1 

• Where are you on the river right now - calm waters or rapids?  Studying for mid  term 
• 2 
• What situation or feeling keeps “hooking” you emotionally?  That I will fail the mid term
• 3
•  
• Think of a recent challenge. What might it be trying to teach you?
•  How to study better

Part. 2 this mid term is teaching me how study and how write in. Class essay.

@GlenM

Can you recall a time when life “leveled you up” through struggle?

I have had many times in my life where struggles have led me to be a better person. I have done my best to learn from them and use my experience to help others in a similar position. 

What new options or perspectives have opened up since then?

I have become more empathetic and understanding of others. We all have different perspectives and reactions to where life brings us.

What would it look like to trust the current a little more this week?

To let go of the desired outcome that I have for this week. That could mean being more flexible with changes to plans. Another would be choosing peace over the need to control. 

@GlenM I chose to answer 3 of the questions above :

Where are you on the river right now - calm waters or rapids?

Answer: Rapids

What “Mr. 8” moment has recently interrupted your plans?

Answer: Uncertainty, distance and possible loss regarding a person very dear to me.

Write one sentence that starts with “I didn’t plan for ___, but it taught me ___.”

Answer: I didn’t plan for my mental health challenges to appear and play such a big role in my life, but going through them taught me, and is still teaching me  so many things about life, about how human psychology and the human mind works, about core needs that most of us share, reflection, compassion, empathy and love. 

@GlenM

• Where are you on the river right now - calm waters or rapids?  I feel like I am on rapids
• What kind of “rocks” or challenges have been showing up lately?
•  I am currently facing several interconnected challenges, primarily centered around workplace misalignment and stress. These include:
  • A lack of trust and unclear expectations in my work environment
  • Feeling misrepresented, which has led me to constantly defend my professional competence
  • Emotional and physical exhaustion due to ongoing stress and illness
  • Being at a career crossroads, as I consider whether to stay or pursue other opportunities
  • Holding high personal standards that are not being supported or matched by my environment

  At the core, I recognize that the issue is misalignment between my abilities and my workplace, rather than any deficiency in my performance.

• Checkin: Right now, my river feels  heavy and unpredictable, like I am constantly trying to stay afloat while the current keeps shifting beneath me.
• Think of a recent challenge. What might it be trying to teach you?   A recent challenge I have faced has been working in an environment where expectations and feedback were not always clear or consistent. That experience pushed me to rely more on my own professional judgment and to stay grounded in the quality of my work rather than external validation.

  It also taught me the importance of being strategic with my time and energy, recognizing when to continue investing in a situation and when to step back and evaluate alignment. Most importantly, it reinforced that challenges like this are not about a lack of ability, but about finding the right environment where my skills and contributions can be fully utilized and supported.

• List one rock (challenge) and rename it as a “teacher.”
• “My rock: _______ → My teacher: _______.”  My rock: Workplace misalignment and unclear expectations → My teacher: Strategic clarity and self-trust
• What “Mr. 8” moment has recently interrupted your plans?  My “Mr. 8” moment was receiving unexpected negative evaluation feedback that did not align with my performance or prior input. It interrupted my plans by forcing me to shift from focusing on growth and instruction to defending my professional practice and reassessing my next steps.
• Write one sentence that starts with “I didn’t plan for ___, but it taught me ___.” I didn’t plan for my work to be questioned in ways that felt misaligned with my performance, but it taught me to trust my professional judgment and be more intentional about where I invest my time and energy.
• What situation or feeling keeps “hooking” you emotionally? I tend to feel most emotionally triggered when there is a disconnect between the effort I put into my work and how it is perceived, especially in environments where expectations are unclear or inconsistently applied.
• Try the “forgiveness ladder”: 1) Name the feeling. 2) Recall the earliest memory it connects to. 3) Write one line of compassion for your younger self.  1) Name the feeling:

  I feel frustration and a sense of being misunderstood.

  2) Earliest memory it connects to:
  This connects to earlier experiences where I felt that my efforts or intentions were not fully seen or accurately understood, even when I was trying to do the right thing.

  3) One line of compassion for my younger self:
  You were doing your best with what you knew, and your effort and integrity were always enough, even when others did not recognize it.

• Can you recall a time when life “leveled you up” through struggle? One experience that really leveled me up was working in a high pressure, highly structured school environment where expectations were constantly shifting. It pushed me out of my comfort zone and forced me to adapt quickly, both professionally and emotionally.

  Through that challenge, I learned how to stay grounded in my purpose, focus on what I could control, and advocate for myself with more confidence. It was difficult, but it ultimately made me more resilient, more strategic, and clearer about the kind of environment where I can truly thrive.

• What new options or perspectives have opened up since then? Since then, I have gained clarity about what I need to thrive and the confidence to pursue environments that align with my values. I no longer see myself as limited to one path, but as someone with options and direction.
• What would it look like to trust the current a little more this week? Trusting the current this week would look like focusing on what I can control, releasing the need to overanalyze every situation, and allowing things to unfold without constantly questioning my direction. It would mean trusting my instincts, conserving my energy, and taking steady, intentional steps forward rather than trying to force clarity all at once.
• Fill this sentence:  Today I’m grateful for the current that carried me through uncertainty and challenge, even when I could not yet see where it was leading me.

Part 2: Closing Reflections: 

• What was one key insight that stood out to you in this part? How can understanding it impact your life for the better?  One key insight that stood out to me is that misalignment is not a reflection of my ability, but a signal that I may be in the wrong environment.

  Understanding this allows me to stop internalizing challenges that are not truly about my performance and instead make more intentional decisions about where I invest my time and energy. Over time, this can lead to greater clarity, confidence, and alignment in both my work and overall well being.

• What’s one “rock” or challenge you’re choosing to see as your teacher this week?  One challenge I am choosing to see as my teacher this week is the uncertainty around expectations in my work environment. It is teaching me to trust my own judgment, communicate more intentionally, and stay grounded in my professionalism even when clarity is limited.

• Where are you on the river right now - calm waters or rapids?
  It is calm now. However, I feel a little anxious cause I don't know how it will be behind the turn my life is taking. Just a little. I mostly believe that it is not going to be worse that what I already managed. I expect some water turbulence ahead. I am slightly bracing for taking on the effort on keeping my kayak steady. I am not afraid but focused.
  
  
• What kind of “rocks” or challenges have been showing up lately?
  my husband's and kids' emotions, unanswered questions in my significant friendships, imposter syndrome doubts
  
  
• Think of a recent challenge. What might it be trying to teach you?
  a lot. I felt life was breaking me. Then when I felt completely broken I started to see my value, my strength and I started to stand up for myself, I stopped tolerating disrespect, I started to see and enjoy kindness in people, I started to open up free from some kind of fear. I am not too fragile or not enough to be myself. I can be myself and I can take the blows of those who don't like it.
  
  
• List one rock (challenge) and rename it as a “teacher.”
  My rock: difficult emotions in others (like in my husband or kids)
  → My teacher: I can hold myself even when a person next to me does not hold themselves properly
  
  
• Try the “forgiveness ladder”: 1) Name the feeling. 2) Recall the earliest memory it connects to. 3) Write one line of compassion for your younger self.
  1 - I am afraid I will not perform well enough at my job if I won't push myself as hard as I did in the past. I was able to relax in my life a little and I don't want to go back to pushing hard.
  2 - As a kid I internalized I need to get things right and not be problematic
  3 - You did your best to stay on top of things and not make mistakes. You learned a lot though that. But it was important for you to also learn how to relay on others when needed. You needed to trust in being supported. It is not your fault you didn't experience it like that. And you are doing the important job to learn it now.