@disgracey
I hope you can find the support you are looking for on cups.
@disgracey I hope you find the support you're looking for here 🍀🤍🫂
Talk to me
@disgracey What do you wanna vent about I'm here to listen
Hope you feel better ❤️
@disgracey
Sending you a big, huge🫂!
We all are here for you.
Feel free to vent.
Talk to me
@disgracey Hello, I'm here if you need to chat
I don't really know how effective this is going to be. But quite frankly, I just got in a row with my wife, it was all about dinner, she's been on me to cook dinner and have it on the table on time. And this time it got out of hand she threw at me something that I was supposed to cook. I had no idea what it was supposed to be until she told me it involves the chicken, please pick the chicken off the bones which I did, and then all of a sudden, I'm making this whole plate. I wasn't prepared to do when I asked questions about it. She said figure it out. I'm going to take a bath, so I figured it out, I was going to make a salad with chicken and mushrooms, corn onions toss that up roast some potatoes have that on the side and I left it open in case she wanted the chicken salad. That she had mentioned earlier making a chicken salad, but she wasn't clear on what that was exactly. She just had a chicken salad so that could go either way so I did I went the other way she came out and said, no, not the chicken mixed in with the salad. I want a chicken salad. So I put the chicken salad together, I pulled out the roasted potatoes. I forgot to leave the oven mitt on the roasted potatoes, you burned herself, all I get is a bunch of slack and say how careless I am. We don't have kids. She saw me pull a pan out of the oven and put it on the stove. She knew it was hot, but she went ahead and grabbed it anyway. I feel terrible, of course, but then trying to apologize to her makes it only worse, because we're in a horrible fight and she's been nasty and just on my case all *** day. And I don't even know why it's like I can do no good. And there's nothing that I can do to improve the situation with that's my rant.
I Walked out, I told her that I really was very sorry that she burned herself and that I didn't even admit on the PAN that I just pulled out from you. I told her how sorry I was and but I also said, I can't stay here. II have to leave. I just have to go for a walk. I just can't be here right now. It's not just that we're in a fight. I have a situation where my wife is studying with the narcissistic expert Romney, and she is pegging me at every turn and corner as a narcissist, calling me cruel and sadistic, and maybe the other person reading this. We'll say well, are you?And I will say , if somebody gets pegged enough times being called our narcissist , then they're bound to see nothing but narcissism in that person I think it's a dangerous thing to learn these things online and see only the negative in a person and not the whole picture. I aint the best person in the world, but I am not a horrible person, and I am being pegged as a horrible person. My life is more Valuable, that match to constantly demean and devalue. I'm not feeling much like a man nowadays. Just not I'm sorry to sex who I am, but for crying out loud to not feel like a person is not, it's not helping me at all, it's not helping her at all She just gets meaner and more frequent with her accusations. And we just keep getting deeper and deeper in debt because of the fantastical thinking, I'm a positive person I'll look at the details, but I am a positive person. I don't know how that helps my situation now. Though. Thanks for listening.
@indigoMaple3268, I am so sorry you had to be in that situation. If it makes you feel any better, there are a bunch of people out there who feel that they can help you. I am not trying to get you to try a course or anything like that, I just really want and need you to calm a bit, take a deep breath, and make some space for you to clear your head and have an open mind. I will do everything in my power to help you, and if you need absolutely anything, I am on here for a bit longer. Thank you for sharing this message, Indigomaple3268. You are loved.
Thank you bravetortoise I have calmed down alot from those couple of rants .
And learned something I really need to use spell check more often and not depend on voice to text apps. But the second thing is being heard and even though my eye is welling up from the feeling ...it is a relief to know someone out there is Hearing the angst. I really appreciate that !
@indigoMaple3268
Thank you for ranting with us. And just so that you know, you kept your effort and gave the best you could. How others react to your efforts is on them, and it honestly doesn’t mean that you can do no good, even though I totally agree that their reaction impacts you. I really hope your situation get better with time.
If I may ask, how long have you been facing these situations and is there anything you doing to make it better?
Yes! thank you for asking. I has been getting progressively worse. At first small arguments, we get into arguments and I would feel trapped and could express my self and I would hit a wall or kick an object, I once broke a bone in my hand. That was a long time ago 2004 I have seen multiple therapists and have found a way to channel my anger and not hurt myself or others. Our dis agreement were better handle for a long time. But once we started to get in to a tight situation again we would start blaming each other. I look at it from a broader perspective and see that things were promising but still a lot of arguments . Present day my wife discover Dr Duvrasula Ramani an expect in narcissist behaviors and that changed our relationship a great deal. I will first say what this doctor speak about is real and some of the things I definitely do but, I have also noticed that just about everyone does the things too . However these things my spouse has been using like a beating stick. Pulling all my guilt cords not to mention having to sit for a 20 minute berating of how I have screwed everything up and when am I going to come to the plate and do my part in this relationship. I have learned alot from how I am being treated here and I can see how unfairly all the responsibility for how are lives are and where are financially. I work and she is a creative. I ok with that , but I have to cook when I get home I have to do the laundry because she doesn't want to learn the app to wash clothes. She has piles of stories the she has started piled all round the place and blames me for not being organized and not being able to find anything because she has moved it and can't remember.
Look I spend a year with a therapist that listened to me and because of my insurance she basically said she couldn't see me any more because i wasn't going to be able to resolve my feelings by just venting. So then she suggested we both see a therapist together. Which I thought was a good idea but my wife was very picky about not being on a zoom for a session and putting small obstacles in the way. Not that she went looking for any therapists no that was my job because I apparently have all this time on my hands because I'm a manager at work and I have privileges. ... I have gone off a a rant again
My wife and I are in a bad place she can convey her feels and thoughts to me but I cannot do the same back to her because all that comes out of my mouth are lies, deceit, and betrayal. And I cannot have a conversation with any more without me taking the blame and responsibility for way to many things.
I don't want to sound snarky or rude, but that is all I can say right now. I have had a terrible morning having a fight starting the day and then trying to talk with her when I came home now being in a library to calm the waters between us because I'm tired of fighting I have to walk away to not stay in the environment. Anyway
Thank you for listening (reading) to my issue here. Have a blessed evening
