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How to accept that I am deaf/ have a hearing loss?

68 Answers
Last Updated: 06/15/2022 at 2:38pm
How to accept that I am deaf/ have a hearing loss?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Myiesha Beard, LPC, NCC, CAMSII

Licensed Professional Counselor

I maintain a general practice providing services to children, adults, couples and families.

Top Rated Answers
sweetseashell50
February 1st, 2018 9:23pm
I'm personally Deaf myself. Being deaf doesn't define you...it only makes you more unique! If you want to talk, please message me, and we can chat! Embrace who you are because you are BEAUTIFUL, and don't let someone destroy or take that away from you
RainValentine
October 1st, 2016 1:50am
You can never really accept it. I am mute and I thought that I was okay with it. That it didn't matter. And then one day someone was talking to me and they yelled at me because I wasn't replying they asked me if I was deaf. I shook my head and they said that I was basically just retarded. And that's when I realized that I actually do care deep down. You can go everyday not thinking about it. Pretending that you're not. And you'll be happy but the moment somebody else find out and they say something that hurt you. That's the moment when you realize that you can never accept the you are what you are. What would you can do is be happy about who you are and what you have.
ChainsGoneSetFree
June 15th, 2016 4:10pm
The loss of one of the senses is tough to handle. If you are willing to share I'd like to hear how you lost your hearing.
powerfulmindofawoman
September 9th, 2016 11:53pm
You won’t get used to living with hearing loss overnight It’s normal to cycle through many different feelings, from denial to sadness or even guilt.When you learn more about hearing loss, you can ease your anxiety and start to feel better. Plus, there are resources that can make your life easier Get the help of a licensed audiologist or ear, nose, and throat doctor. They can help you learn about deafness and or hearing loss. My dad is has always been deaf and he's a beautiful person. I'm sure you are too so keep your head up and challenge your disability by accepting it. :)
Crystalline2Heavens
July 28th, 2018 7:03pm
There are many people who have experienced hearing loss. You are not alone. You can join forums or groups with people that have hearing loss. This will allow you to learn how to cope with your own hearing loss. They will provide with a support system. Most important things to remember you are not on your own. There are many tools and resources to help you.
kindSoul10
June 7th, 2017 10:50pm
the world is diverse and beeing deaf or hard hearing is part of our diversity. when we accept what we are we can look forward to our future. we can make use of our abilities in our disability. learning sign language is one way to communicate. using hearing aids is also an option. try to connect with persons that have a similar disability and look how they developed their abilities. don't pity yourself, we all have our weaknesses. connect with people that are positive and don't let others bring you down. don't let them convince you that you can't do something. be creative and do things you like to do. adapt the way you want to achieve your goals. and always remember. you are an expert on your own. people who lack the experience you have may fear your condition/your disability. do not mind them. you know better. you can show them that beeing deaf or hard hearing is not the end. if they stare at you or pity you, just smile back at them and show them there is nothing to be afraid of.
GillianfromScotland
June 8th, 2017 5:08pm
Living with a permanent physical change can be one of the most internally frustrating experiences. You can feel alone, cut off, depressed, and so much more. Slowly learning to live and experience life in this new way is a challenge that can be explored in order to accept and move on. Take time to mourn what you have lost, and explore new ways to move forward with life.
MarkishaNanceLCSW
June 22nd, 2016 2:17am
This is an excellent question and I don't think there is any correct way to answer it. I think when any life altering event, challenge or issue that changes our life happens we learn as we go. We fall back on the strengths (tools) we have gained during our life's journey and sometimes discover that we need more tools. I think the key is to be honest with your feelings. Know that they will fluctuate in intensity and frequency. There may be times when you feel you have accepted it and times when you might say why me. Know that all of your feelings are normal because it is what you feel. The key thing is not to get stuck in what you feel. If you ever feel that your emotions or feelings won't let you move forward towards acceptance or what ever your goal is, than seek support. Also, when you are ready, get around others that have experienced what you are. There is value in the journey's of others (wisdom, love, support understanding, resources etc.) And finally you are an important, special and unique person. You have things that only you can bring to world. Please do not ever forget this.
Youareberrybeautiful
October 9th, 2016 5:21am
It will be tough but there are ways to accept yourself. As you lose your hearing try to find a passion that doesn't have to do with sound like writing. Start early learning sign language while you can still hear it may be easier. Console in those around you don't be afraid to ask for help, it's ok to be embarrassed upset and depressed but just know you're not alone.
StarfireWarrior
August 2nd, 2017 1:27am
The world is a big place with many different ways to "see" what it has to offer. Being deaf will definitely come with challenges, including getting used to it, but it will also give you a new outlook on life that not everyone will have experienced. A new way to interpret things. There are also many people who have hearing loss or are deaf. Find some people to relate to whether there is a support group near you or connecting with people online. Life hits people in different ways. Take it day by day. You'll slowly find ways to work things out and accept what life has thrown at you. :)
sonum91
October 8th, 2016 2:37pm
You will lose some interest things in life, but you will appreciate other points. I think losing vision is even worst. The worst thing about a disability is to get used to it. After that, it doesn't bother so much, because you have got used to your limits. The problem is that, usually, perception goes to the limitations, instead of what you can still do. So, I would focus on things I like doing and I can do with my new condition.
Anonymous
September 14th, 2017 1:56am
Looking into a support group might be a good first step, along with allowing yourself to think about all the good stuff in your life instead of focusing on the negatives.
nourish
August 3rd, 2016 2:05pm
Being Deaf / having a hearing disability is only a physical disability and not a mental disorder. Ignoring someone with a physical disability is same as open discrimination. What if that person is better than us in any other aspect of life. Take up Sir Stephen Hawking, he is almost completely unable to move but is the best Physicist we have. Without going that far up, everyone is special in something or the other
Anonymous
May 30th, 2018 5:24am
I am personally not deaf or hard of hearing, but I have a visual impairment. I am legally blind and I found that knowing my disability isn't really a disability. I like to look at it as being "diversely abled" (Hyla Rachwal) I believed coined that term so I want to give her credit.
JaelMT
September 6th, 2017 9:47am
Don't become isolated. Learn sign language (if possible), find resources and/or groups for the Deaf, learn about the different assistive devices there are for Deaf folks, etc. It's okay to grieve your hearing loss, as well. Write about it, talk to friends, see a therapist. And remember, if you're in school or work, you are entitled to reasonable accommodations through the Americans With Disabilities Act (if you're American, of course. I'm not sure about other countries).
Uncarved
December 18th, 2020 9:58pm
When I started to go deaf, I argued with everyone. I wasn't not hearing them, they were whispering or they thought they said something when they really didn't. It took a long hard look at a hearing test to get that I really was losing my hearing. Now, I realize that there is so much for the deaf community now, more than ever before. I started to feel grateful that I lived in today's time and not some other time when it would have been more difficult to overcome. Find your positive in it and hold on to that when you're frustrated or upset at whats happening. Good luck.
overtherainbow17
June 30th, 2018 1:16am
It took me a little bit. I was very scared, and frustrated at first; I took this news as just another thing to get bullied about at school. I knew I was having trouble hearing, and wanted to hear better. But I was embarrassed. So I had to accept fact over personal preference. That's how I did it. I weighed out the pros and cons with my audiologist and parents. And I wound up getting hearing aids. I actually liked them! At first, I hated them. But as people got used to it, and so did I, it went smooth. So long story short, I accepted I had hearing loss by just gathering myself over time, and tried out the hearing aids.
Anonymous
September 30th, 2020 1:59pm
I would seek to find other people that have gone through a similar thing to you. By connecting and sharing experiences with people who are also deaf it could make you feel less alone and alienated. As with the current pandemic situation being able to meet people in person is mist likely not safe and could cause heightened anxiety so finding Facebook groups or maybe a few group chats or forums would allow you to still connect with people but from a safe space and with it all being online that could reduce some of the fear of meeting new people which I know many people, including myself, face
negiducky
August 25th, 2016 5:30pm
It's probably best to dig deeper and accept specific losses that might come as a result of your hearing loss. It might be harsh when you start to list down things that might become difficult due to your disability, but this allows you generate acceptance at a much more deeper level. Mostly, it will remove any sense of uncertainty or fear you might encounter now or in the future.
EchoHawke
November 18th, 2017 5:16am
Hey there! Sorry to hear about you loosing your hearing. It must feel a bit scary thinking about not being able to hear. I have some health problems that are slowly taking away my memory, and it scares the daylight out of me. For me personally, the thing that helps me cope the most is living every day the best and fullest I can. Do things I know I can do, and remember things I know I can remember like my mom's phone number or how old my brothers kids are (for some reason.) Little meaningless things that help me remember I'm still human and that we are more powerful than we believe.
ThatsTheSpiritBMTH
August 28th, 2016 3:18am
Accepting yourself is a pretty hard thing to do. My mom is loosing her hearing and I'm teaching her sign language. I don't know exactly how you feel, but I'm watching my mom feel just like you. I'm a hearing person though. What you need to do is maybe get more involved with the deaf community and talk about it. Ask their opinions and listen to their stories. Maybe a little influence will help!
caringHeart8929
August 28th, 2021 1:36am
Learning a new way of life is never easy for anyone especially when it happens suddenly. Try to accept the new way and find new ways of hearing such as reading lips or reading people's body movements. Practicing with a close friend may help you feel more comfortable in doing so. Foremost do not let the new way of life get to you. Your way of life may have changed but who the wonderful person you are has not. Have you tried to reach out to support groups in your area that may help you? If you like I can try to help and find a hotline with the information for you.
Mycool2019
January 1st, 2020 4:12am
I think being deaf shouldn't define a person, everyone is born differently and get unexpected changes in their bodies. Yes you might be curious about hearing if you've been born with it, but you adapt to that lifestyle and try to be positive anyway. And if you suddenly or slowly turn deaf you should still be grateful for when you could hear. And you will know that you family and friends will support you and understand. And if there are issues you can text me or another listener on 7 cups 😁. And remember that there is always hope and I care about you.
zaatarHoney
December 4th, 2019 1:00am
I can personally relate to this. It’s a little terrifying initially because no one is usuallly expecting that to happen. I think the hardest part of accepting it was how it impacts me socially- needing people to repeat themselves and not feeling bad, or not being too shy to say “Hey, I don’t hear very well, can we move somewhere more quiet to talk about this?” Pretending I was hearing at my 100% capacity around others made me feel self-conscious and nervous. Realizing ways that I would be able to compensate and adapt made me feel empowered. It’s totally okay that your hearing is compromised, you are still lovely and there are still many ways to enjoy life. ♡ But, it’s definitely a process. Talking to others about how you feel, being validated and heard, can be more healing than 1,000 effective solutions. ♡ You are never alone.
caringMelody1291
July 19th, 2019 1:52am
You just have to accept that this is you. It’s really hard, believe me. When I started losing my hearing I was so frustrated and angry but now I use it as jokes and other things. I also have a hearing aid now so that helps a lot. I guess you just have to make the best of a “bad” situation. It does get better if you try to focus on the good. Everyone always says to look on the bright side, and it’s hard, but it’s honestly some amazing advice. Just remember all the amazing memories you’ll make in the future.
martypj
March 14th, 2019 1:27pm
Hearing loss can be really challenging, we have lived our whole lives using it as a communication tool without a second thought, losing that can feel isolating and scary. I think a good place to start is to do lots of research on your hearing loss, the resources available to you and the things you can still do without your hearing. Becoming an expert on your ears may help you accept why it has happened and how you can adapt to it, and knowing what opportunities are still out there for you can help you see that having full hearing is not necessary to have fun! I found out through researching that with my hearing loss, I could still hear good bass lines in music, so I started re-discovering a lot of music which was something I had been terrified to lose. I also found a deaf support group in my area that met once a fortnight which really helped me talk about my worries and make friends who had similar problems. The help available will depend on your area, and everyone has different needs, so take some time to become an expert in what is out there for you.
hohwriter726
February 14th, 2019 1:08am
I am hard of hearing, so I will discuss some of my experiences in this answer. One thing to do is to take an ASL (American Sign Language) class if at all possible. If not, look for ASL resources online. Also, look for any Deaf events in your area. If there are none, go on social media and join some groups for people who are Deaf and/or hard of hearing. Also, do not be afraid to share the fact that you have a hearing loss with others. If you need something repeated or captions on the TV, say so. Be your own advocate. This includes in the work place as well. When I go out with friends, I always try to go somewhere well lit and with minimal background noise (unless I am with friends who know ASL). I also try to sit across from the speaker; I ask for a round table in a restruaunt if I am with a group of people, so I can read everyone's lips. Also, if you use a Cochlear Implant or hearing aids, do not be afraid to wear it. Some people even choose to accessorize theirs with things such as stickers and colored duct tape. There are even companies that sell hearing aid and cochlear implant decorative accessories. Being Deaf does come with it's own sets of challenges, but it also gives you a lot as well. It gives you access to the Deaf community, which is full of so many amazing people. You have motivation for learning a new language and become bilingual (which also looks fantastic on job applications). If you want to talk more about this, feel free to message me and we can set up a chat time. Best of luck.
Anonymous
June 15th, 2022 2:38pm
Tough news life that can be difficult to face. It takes different amounts of time to be comfortable with it for each person. Face each day with a positive attitude, and slowly you may start to accept having hearing loss. I know it will be tough, but you can do it. Have someone to talk to, even if it is on 7 cups. Our listeners are more than happy to help you. Although it maybe different speakers, there is someone here for you each day. Take some time for yourself, and adapt to this lifestyle. Find positives and move forward. There isn't much we can do, other than accept it. Living in sadness won't be the answer though. You got this!
imwillingtostay
October 16th, 2019 4:45am
How do you accept alcoholism? Or losing a limb? Or going blind? We don't get to pick our cards in life. Acceptance is my key to spirituality. And spirituality is my key to acceptance. I try to ground myself in the real and now. I am in recovery for alcoholism. One of the biggest hurdles I've faced is accepting that this is true for the rest of my life. It took me a very long time but with the help of counsellors and friends, I've learned acceptance is the key to a lot of my problems. Without acceptance I feel constant pressure and aggression. Connecting to my higher power and realizing that everything happens exactly how its supposed to. There's a lot of people in our Earth and a lot of us wish we weren't "us" at times. But the reality is we are all uniquely different and are dealt different challenges and its beautiful. Look deep down into the true you and realize life isn't over until you let it.
Celine7e
February 25th, 2020 10:34am
I think maybe you need to accept the fact that you may never happily accept the hearing loss. And it's part of you, you've managed to carry it with you for a long way, and that's something to be grateful. Sometimes life just sucks. but i believe there must be something beautiful, something you love, something you cherish, and that's the reason why you wanna keep going. I know it's easier said than done, but with effort, you can make your life worth living, you can still accomplish with a little grudges in your mind. You must be a strong man/woman. Best wishes! May the forth be with you!