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How do I come out as nonbinary?

98 Answers
Last Updated: 04/17/2020 at 2:22pm
How do I come out as nonbinary?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Amelia Winsby, PsyD

Psychologist

I often work with clients who experience a wide range of emotions and difficulties. I am non-judgmental and enjoy working with individuals from all walks of life.

Top Rated Answers
AidenCarver
August 11th, 2019 4:19am
There's no right or wrong way to come out as non-binary. Just be honest with your feelings while saying it out loud to someone. Remember you might not get a positive response. But just be yourself. That's the best you can do. Something like, "I think I don't fall in the binary side of gender. I'm most likely somewhere in between. I'm still figuring it out but that's what I wanted to tell you. " Remember that the person would most likely question you even further. If this person happens to be genuinely curious about you and want to know more then that's fine but remember some people just ask questions to make you feel you're not valid. So beware. Coming out is a daunting process for sure. And it takes time and patience to do so. Also, the chances of positive responses are more if you know this person very well and you know they'll love you know matter what. In any case, Good luck. I hope your coming out process turns out to be smooth as hell. And I hope this helped.
Anonymous
August 24th, 2019 7:57pm
Explain to whoever you’re coming out to that you don’t identify with a certain gender identity. Explain to them what it means to be non-binary. Let them know your opinions and beliefs on the situation. Often, people with big personalities struggle with being labeled as merely one or two things. They have so much more to them than just one label or identity. Many non-binary people feel they don’t fit the typical gender norms of any gender identity. They’re human, no matter what gender they are/identify as. People deserve to be treated like people, with unconditional love, respect and compassion.
Anonymous
October 30th, 2019 11:31pm
I'm a transguy, but: to come out as non-binary, you can first introduce what it means before saying "I'm non-binary." Like, "Do you know what it means to be non-binary?" and wait for the person's reaction. If they have a neutral/positive reaction, say "I'm not [however you feel]. So I'm non-binary, then." This can go for other genders as well. After that, well, if they accept you, introduce your preferred name (if you have chosen a new one) and your pronouns. After that is just whatever the person you're coming out to does or says. Gender is a journey. Stay safe, everyone!
Anonymous
November 7th, 2019 8:16am
There are so many different ways to do this and all of them valid. First of all, I would like to commend you on coming out as nonbinary to yourself! I know that may or may not seem like a big deal right now, but it is. And it's a huge step towards coming out to other people so that you can live your truth more fully. When I came out as nonbinary, I did a couple of things. With the people I'm closest to and feel safest with, I talked about it in person or by text. To my family of origin, I sent an email explaining that that was how I identified, what the term meant, and what it meant to me. And then I posted on facebook, but because I was changing pronouns, I actually just posted about that. It didn't feel important to me to explain my gender identity to everyone, but it did feel important to ask them to gender me correctly. I found the key in all of it was a willingness to educate people because mostly people just didn't know that being nonbinary was an option. Mostly, to reserve my energy for the harder conversations and questions, I found some 101 articles on sites like Everyday Feminism and The Body Is Not An Apology to share around.
Marlo3
December 8th, 2019 5:08am
This can be very intimidating and you should only do it if you are safe but from my experience you should just go for it and expect lots of questions to come. Have notes mentally prepared on what you what to say and exactly what you are trying to get across. You can also have videos and articles prepared from nonbinary youtubers and creators to help explain more in depth. Just remember, your safety is of the utmost importance and if coming out risk safety or security then do not do it for the time being. Also compromise by coming out to come people but not others. Stay safe, stay frosty
MoonlightPrimrose
March 21st, 2020 5:02pm
First of all a few questions to consider: Who are you coming out to? How educated on gender and LGBTQ+ topics are they (probably)? Are you financially or otherwise dependent on the people you are planning to come out to? Is it safe to do so? Once you’ve answered these questions for yourself - as best as you can - there are many ways to come out and it has a lot to do with your personal preferences. You could write a letter, an email, sit down for coffee or dinner with the person you’re coming out to and talk about it or just nonchalantly drop that you are non binary. Some people prefer to come out in a comedic way, maybe there is a funny situation to blurt out the truth about yourself, others have come out in a more serious or prepared way. Maybe you can collect and prepare some easy to understand information on the gender spectrum and queer topics for somebody who might be unaware of all the wonderful things these topics hold. Some people might be more willing to drop their scepticism when you can show them books, celebrities and articles or even talk about friends who are non-binary (only with their explicit permission!). It is always good to remind yourself that none of what has happened or what might happen is your fault. You have the right to be seen and understood the way you are and you deserve to be heard and treated with respect and love no matter what. Now, go forth and spread the pride, you’re amazing!
Anonymous
March 26th, 2020 4:55am
If you are looking to come out, know that you face no pressure in doing so, and you should only do so when you feel completely compelled and ready. For me personally, I came out through the process of discovering myself and I made sure I was coming out to those I knew would support me. Just asking those around you to be open and listen to how you feel may be helpful in your decision to come out. Not everyone will understand it, and a lot of them may have questions, but don't feel you need to be the one to educate them on everything.
ricardo2002
April 17th, 2020 2:22pm
It depends on to whom you are disclosing it, but there are several ways to explain, you can show the TV show Queer Eye where Johnathan Van Ness will illustrate one kind of non-binary person. If you plan to come out to all society, well, just be yourself and act as you feel day by day. There are many non-binary examples that you can show friends and family as examples that is OK to express that, I would use Media - something people didn't have available 30 or 40 years ago. Our world is changing, and it's our job to change it to acomodate all of us.