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Why do I always reconsider my sexuality and gender identity?

16 Answers
Last Updated: 07/03/2018 at 9:56pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Christie Belle, Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy


I am a U.S. Air Force veteran and a ex-Army spouse. I am a divorced mother of two teenage boys, my youngest son has a diagnosis of autism, which I am very passionate about.

Top Rated Answers
March 1st, 2015 1:38pm
Sexuality is sometimes tough to figure out. Don't worry some day you'll settle on having one particular sexuality. You're just a little confused and its totally fine.
March 29th, 2015 1:41am
It's quite possible your gender and sexuality are simply quite fluid. It may also be that you haven't found a label or understanding of your gender and sexuality that quite fits you yet. Either way, it's totally ok for your understanding of your sexuality and gender to change frequently. It may be hard to deal with, particularly if you feel your gender and sexuality should be "set" and "consistent", but know you're not alone in having a changing feeling about your gender and who you are attracted to/how you are attracted. Other people feel like this too! And it's completely okay to feel this way. :)
May 18th, 2015 7:14pm
it is because of others for them to understand not by gender but as a person . :) gender is really a controversial to talk about . :)
June 15th, 2015 2:49pm
This a difficult topic, I feel that my sexuality is always changing, but because I'm still young, I don't have much dating/romantic experience, so I'm not always sure how I feel about someone, no matter what gender they identify with
September 1st, 2015 10:08pm
We all go through a phase of reconsidering and not being sure, that is nothing bad! Try out different things, you don't have to stick to one gender or sexuality that has a name. One day you like being a boy? Sure! The other you'd prefere being a girl? Do it! Same with your sexuality. If you are afraid that people won't accept you that way, try to be as confident as you can, and maybe explain it to your family or closest friends if they start asking questions - but only if you think you are ready! Be who you are, even if you are not so sure yet what exactly that means. Be true to yourself!
October 28th, 2015 12:14am
It's natural to go through changes and reconsider, it's just what happens to almost everyone. You'll know in time and you don't have to rush to label yourself.
October 29th, 2015 7:07pm
It's not uncommon to see people reconsider their sexuality and/or their gender, the simple fact that there are many genders and sexuality that is not talked a lot about can leave us uneducated about some of them that we may discover later thus leaving us questioning ourselves relating to it. It's also possible that we can experience different things in the future that we never experienced before that can lead us to question ourselves. We are all different therefore we aren't all exactly the same, it's okay to be different, you're awesome no matter what ❤️
November 3rd, 2015 2:17am
First off, it’s not unusual or wrong to not know or be unsure of your gender identity or sexuality. There is no rush to “decide”, and ultimately the right path is the path that makes you feel most comfortable with yourself so takes steps toward comfort. This might mean trying our a different name with trusted friends or wearing different clothing etc. All of which can be undone if they don’t feel right :) There’s no wrong way to explore gender, sexuality and explore yourself.
December 7th, 2015 12:53pm
Sexuality and gender identity can change a lot during your life. There's absolutely wrong with that. :)
January 25th, 2016 4:24am
Sexuality and gender are confusing topics. It is okay to be unsure. You don't have to put a label on yourself. You are you. You don't have to put yourself into a box. Be you. Do what makes you happy. Don't worry so much. It doesn't matter. In the end we're all humans and we're all beautiful.
February 23rd, 2016 4:39am
Sexuality and gender are both very fluid. They can change over time and you may never fit just one label. This is normal as everyone's experiences are different.
September 5th, 2016 7:58pm
Probably it's because you still don't know your sexuality and gender identify for sure. It's ok to be confused in this subject, just take your time and get know yourself better. Sometimes we even don't need some terms to describe us, if you feel good for who are you, what more matters?
January 31st, 2017 5:08am
As we grow up, the brain is developing and our body is changing. Because of this, we're always changing and discovering new aspects about ourselves! We learn and develop who we are as we grow up, so developing and reconsidering your sexuality and gender identity is common and A-Okay! Do whatever makes YOU feel most comfortable and happy. :)
December 12th, 2017 10:38pm
Sexuality and gender identity are both very confusing and fluid. A lot of people (including myself) reconsider their identities all the time. It's completely natural and just part of life. You may have it figured out in the future and you may not. It's extremely freeing to just accept yourself however you are and to not be ashamed for changing that if you feel different. Whether you're bi one day and straight the next, or you think you may be bi instead of gay, you're still you.
June 4th, 2018 2:32pm
Even if you've already identified with one gender or sexuality, it doesn't mean it's permanent. You change all the time which means your preferences can change and your identity changes. So it's okay to reconsider who you are. It's just a part of being human.
July 3rd, 2018 9:56pm
Because the world considers the fluid things of sexuality and gender in a quite black and white way and we are trained from a very early age to do so ourselves... i think it really is the case that gender and sexuality is a far more fluid line than the one given credit for by most cultures. You develope as a person throughout your life, you gain some characteristics and leave some behind, you fall in and sometimes out of love, you yourself are fluid, so why should you label yourself as someone else wants... no matter what label you put on it, you are you, and thats just right