How can I respectfully decline unwanted parenting advice from others?
Last Updated: 12/08/2020 at 11:25am
Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
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Top Rated Answers
I usually smile and listen. I take away what I want from it and let go of the information that isn't important to me. If there is someone that is continuously pushy, I would just tell them that I've come up with a system that's working and I'm going to stick with it. If the person is that pushy, I would distance myself.
If people offer you advice on raising children, or on parenting, it's perfectly acceptable to say : 'thank you for your advice on this issue, but I'd prefer to see what happens when I try it my way. I'm sure you felt that you could parent your children adequately, without needing advice from others' say it with a smile, and it should work out!
People often give new parents unwanted advice. They may not realize that they're overstepping, they may just want to share a tidbit with a fellow parent. Just keep your tone neutral and calm and tell them you're glad it's worked for them, but you're okay with how you're raising your child and thank them for sharing the advice with you.
Acknowledge the persons attempt in helping you. Thank you, I will give your suggestions some thoughts. You can also say something like, "It's true, I remember hearing that a parenting forum" A gentle way to let the person know that you are already plugged into a source of guidance.
i get people all the time telling me what they think i should do with my child. i just tell them, "than you i appreciate that you've got some experience, but i've got this." usually the other person smiles and says, "okay!" there were times that some people were more forceful and rude about it...especially when i have to discipline my child when we're in public. in that case i tell them, "thanks, i'm not really looking for any help right now."
Tell them that you appreciate their concern and taking the time to give advice, but you have it covered and have dealt with the situation before. It's polite and should tell others that you know what you're doing and don't need their help.
Unwanted Parenting Advice from other people- Can be quite upsetting, and sometimes it can lead you to believe "Why are they doing this? Am I not a good parent?" Or sometimes, it can be just plain annoying, at the end of the day you are doing your best. I would just kindly say to them "I appreciate you are trying to help, but at the end of the day I am the parent, not you. And I would like to take matters into my own hands, thank you" Keep it short, firm but sweet- That is what I would say :) Hope I helped- Always here if you need to speak :)
Just tell them you will take what they have said into consideration and your thankful for their help..but you need to set the rules or the children wont listen to you x
Often, saying something initially such as"I appreciate that you took the time to share your perspective with me. It's amazing how many good parents have different takes on things, isn't it?" can be enough to make someone back off a bit without being blunt. However, if things continue, you could simply state that you will be sure to ask them if you would like their advice or perspective on something but you would appreciate them to respect your authority as your kids' parent and allow you to parent how you feel is best for them.
Just say it! Respectfully say, “Thanks for trying to help. That was so nice of you! But to be honest, no offense, but I’d rather choose my own ideas for parenting. You see, not everything you say is really for me, but it could be great for you. I know you’re wanting to assist me in parenting, and I thank you for that. But you see, I’d rather choose my own plan.” Try to be polite, and thank them numerous times. Understand they’re just trying to help, but it’s not OK to let them do the parenting for you. It’s a journey we all must take, not have it taken for us.
I personally dismiss any parenting advice with a polite smile, nod of my head i then offer back the methods i have been using and heard of that i feel have been or would be more successful. or if its rude and intrusive i simply say "its okay, i have it thanks, sounds really great it worked for you"
By being respectful and saying "thank you for caring" then go do what you think is right for you and your kid/s.
As a parent, especially a new one, people find giving unsolicited advice to be “helping”, but it doesn’t always. It can leave you feeling inferior, or like you can’t do things your own way. That is YOUR child, and you know what’s best for them. Politely tell people, thank you for the tip but I’ve got it. If I NEED help, I’ll let you know. It can be difficult to shrug it off, but you just have to. And if people are getting too pushy, or putting their own advice to work despite your request not to, then you must be stern. Children don’t come with instructions printed on their backs. We learn as we go. And not all “advice” is helpful. Even if they want it to be.
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