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How do I cope with failure?

21 Answers
Last Updated: 07/11/2020 at 2:12pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Christina Hussami, MSW, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Strengths-based, solution-focused therapist focusing on helping clients find life balance and navigating down their own path leading towards overall well-being.

Top Rated Answers
BeIiever
October 27th, 2016 12:58pm
Just remember that everyone experiences failures and accomplishments. It will be okay. The best thing you can do is accept that you failed and move on. Change happens with you, and it can happen today and at any time in your life.
SusanHickmanPhD
November 2nd, 2016 12:10am
I once heard someone say, "There is no such thing as failure. There is DOING and there is LEARNING." I couldn't agree more. We all "fail" in the sense that we miss our mark or our goal, but the only real failure in life is not showing up. As long as we take our mistakes, learn from them, apply what we learned and keep moving forward...it is all LEARNING and such learning leads to eventual success. How many times did "failure" occur before the lightbulb was invented? Yet every "failure" is ultimately what led to eventual success. Coping with failure is really all about seeing it for what it is...good information for your next attempt at DOING and a completely necessary step toward SUCCEEDING.
Anonymous
November 7th, 2016 10:12pm
Ah, failure. It happens all the time sweetheart :) The first thing to do is to accept what happened. Don't try to push it away or not think about it, that's not helpful. If you want to cry, cry. Just feel all of your emotions. Then start to think on how you can learn from the situation. Just a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor. In other words, there's no success without failure. If you want to succeed, you have a try, try and try again because I guarantee you that you'll fail again. But that's perfectly okay. :) So, think about how you can avoid this situation again. If you failed a test, find better ways to study. If you didn't get a job, find ways to improve your resume and your skills. This applies in any situation sweetheart. That's all I got aha. I hope that this helps
QuietOcean18
December 15th, 2016 9:01pm
I've also found it very helpful, especially in an academic setting, to remind yourself that you are not your work. I had a professor explain this to our class and it made a lot of sense. So if you get a failing grade on a certain assignment, that doesn't directly reflect your self-worth or value as a whole person. It just means that that piece of writing, or test, or presentation didn't go so well, which is something to learn from and improve upon in the future. It's still okay to feel frustrated or sad, but trying to channel that energy into new projects (academic or otherwise) is a nice way to move on as well.
tinugeorge
- Expert in Student Life
January 5th, 2018 7:41am
It is the great question you asked that often I questioned myself, how to accept and cope with failure but what I found really helpful that analyzing the failure logically that what went wrong and where I missed a chance to take control of it rather than going emotion and taking it personal. After accepting that yes, I made a mistake at that point which shouldn’t be done and then start learning what are the best ways in which I can handle that. We always learn from our mistakes and experience what are the ways which may results in failure; like that we grow in experience. After all the more we learn, the more we grow. Take care!!
Gia777
November 1st, 2016 3:15pm
You can start by knowing that the only people that have never failed at something are those that have never done anything . I think it might be a good idea to google failure and see what successful people say about it - most of them say they have failed many times but have not given up. For some of them failure meant start again but this time work smarter at what you do .
L1030
November 16th, 2016 12:12am
Believe that you can and will do better.. if you fail then cry and let it all out but after doing so wipe your tears off your cheeks and start planning on how to do better.. you're not a failure! You're a fighter and you can do better
Dredder
February 19th, 2017 2:26am
Failure doesn't define you, it only serves to make you stronger. Remember that *everybody* fails at something at some point in their life - without it, we wouldn't be able to learn from our experiences. The best way to cope with failure is to try to identify what caused you to fail - once you've done that, you've already learnt a valuable lesson. From there, you should then consider how you can go about preventing the problem from reoccurring.
Ayesha1510
July 9th, 2018 2:43pm
“If you aren’t failing, you aren’t innovating enough” Elon Musk. By failing, we build strong versions of us, to later succeed.
Anonymous
November 9th, 2016 9:42am
One way you can cope with failure is to try again. If you haven't accomplished what you wanted to accomplish yet, make sure you know that if you have your heart set on something, never be afraid to try again. Don't give up on it because it's going to get you somewhere. So if you've failed with something and you have no clue how to deal with it, I would say just try again if you have your heart set to it. And this time, try harder.
K10vf
November 15th, 2016 11:26am
Use that failure as a lesson learned. No one is perfect and sometimes we have to go back to move forward. Also, talk to people who can be a strong support system for you.
Anonymous
January 4th, 2017 3:29am
Failure is just much part of life as is success. In fact, certain successful leaders would say, "you don't succeed unless you fail first". Of course, coping with the feeling of failing is not easy. What you can do is plan differently. Keep trying until you succeed. If you are failing to make it to classes on time, schedule ahead. Failing classes? Examine and amend your revision/study methods, perhaps involve other students, you would be surprised how many people find it difficult to cope with failure. Good luck!
crimsonMelon8700
February 4th, 2017 8:50pm
Everybody fails at some point. There is no shame in failing. Just remember that you can still achieve your goals and it is not the end of the world if you do not achieve your goals. The positive of failure is that it can show you what aspects of your work you need to improve.
Nada
July 3rd, 2017 2:01am
Recognize that failure isn't the end of the road it's a chance to learn and get experience in life. Learn from what went wrong in the process that lead to the failure and aim to not repeat it again. Every human is exposed to failure that's what makes us better and stronger.
shiningAngel90
January 9th, 2018 8:42am
Failure can serve as a great learning lesson. Sometimes your small failures can help you understand yourself better with regard to what your strengths and weaknesses are and what you need to work on to improve for the future. Failure can also help you achieve a great sense of self-awareness.
giggleSoul63
January 16th, 2018 8:55am
Accept it. Asking yourself do you really need to be succeed in there? If yes, why? Then start doing it again. Learn where you did wrong and do it again. Everyone has failed. It is okay.
Anonymous
November 19th, 2018 1:29am
Figure out how the failure made you feel. If you were okay with not doing as well as you may have hoped, now you know that maybe this is not something you want to do. If you don't like how you feel after the failure, figure out what went wrong so that you can fix it. Failure is often a very important step on the ladder to later success. By failing, while you may not like how you feel, you now know one way whatever you are working on will not work, and you can work to improve that for next time. People often like to quote Thomas Edison about his lightbulb, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work" - Thomas A. Edison.
WatchingOverYou
October 25th, 2019 3:41pm
This is a tough one, I mean, a tough process, a learning process battle, but one surely everyone absolutely needs to learn to undergo at a certain point in his/her life. To cope with failure, learn to embrace it as a natural outcome, and then celebrate it as a step on a ladder that will ultimately lead to success, the path that you seek and the one that is meant for you. Remember that everyone experiences stepbacks. We are human, we are imperfect, thus we fail. But if you have failed and fallen a thousand times, you just need to get back up 1001. times.
Anonymous
March 17th, 2020 11:31pm
Failure is not really a failure, it’s a learning experience. I try to always remember that, especially during tough times. When I fail, I try to step back and understand what I can learn from it, what’s in my power to change next time, what were things I could not have predicted which led to the result? I think about what I want to take away from that particular failure, and how it has made me stronger. It doesn’t feel great to want something and not get it. But I have faith that if I really want it, I will find a way.
Mobariz
April 5th, 2020 1:14am
By understanding that everyone fails to reach their success that they already have. I have to quote Nelson Mandela "Don't judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.'' We mostly judge people by successes attained by them in life, however, we fail to see the actual struggle down by them to achieve these successes. The real worth of a person lies in his ability to get back up again after every failure. I myself had to change my first major after spending 3 years there, which can be perceived by everyone as a great failure, now I don't regret it at all, because it made me back then change the major to something that I liked more and could find better job opportunities now.
RebekahRoyal
July 11th, 2020 2:12pm
Failure is something that a lot of people fear. We all want to succeed, and we all want to do our best. Coping with failure can perhaps be a difficult thing, and that's okay. When we fail at something/don't do our best, we can work on improving our abilities and aiming higher next time. It's perfectly okay for us to fail sometimes. We tried our best - we all have room to improve, and that's completely alright. It happens to everyone; you are not alone in how you feel. Remind yourself that it is not your fault if you experience failure. In terms of dealing/coping with it, you could always try again. Trying again could be a really great way of coping with a sense of failure as it shows we are trying hard to improve.