Weekly Prompt #17: Are there any particular thoughts or worries that frequently occupy your mind?
Hello everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
A couple of weeks ago we discussed: How does fear affect our decision-making process? Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts for discussion. I enjoyed them. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: Are there any particular thoughts or worries that frequently occupy your mind? How do you manage these intrusive thoughts?
This week I want us to reflect and explore this topic that can help us understand and explore intrusive thoughts. Let's get started and all thoughts are welcomed!
Join us in the Anxiety Support Chat every Monday and Tuesday!
@ASilentObserver biggest thought is what if my owners find me. Also I feel very ashamed of my past, and guilty. Feelings and emotions are something I still can't work out by myself. Yet it's kinda embarrassing to talk to people about things
@Tinywhisper11 I have no idea how to manage my thoughts and feelings
@Tinywhisper11 Thank you for opening up, tiny. It seems you are experiencing quite a bit of shame and embarrassment around your past and managing your emotions. It can be difficult navigating emotions and not always knowing how to process them. Please know that having these difficult feelings is common and nothing to be ashamed of. What is most important for you right now in moving forward? We are all here with you to support <3
@ASilentObserver moving forward. I want to get back into my arts and crafts. I haven't been able to do it lately. Just no inspiration or motivation. Art makes me happy
@Tinywhisper11 Good to hear that art is really important to you and brings you a lot of joy. Not having inspiration or motivation to create lately must feel discouraging.
Such a great reply!
I love you so much tiny. I’m always here for you. You’re so incredibly strong. You have no idea how much I admire you. Love you oodles
It will happen again, and I’ll wind up in the hospital again. I was raped and beaten by a supervisor in my early 20s, which landed me in the hospital for emergency surgery and permanently disfigured. It's my biggest fear, and the thought of protecting my safety, counting the exits never goes away.
@akay06 I'm so sorry to hear about the trauma you've endured. Feeling afraid and having to constantly be on guard are understandable after such a violation of trust and safety. Please know that you're not alone in your struggle. We are all here with you, kay <3
The fear of failure plays a huge role in my life. I didn’t make the best decision throughout my young years and that caused a lot of heart ache for my family and myself. Loosing everything I have to my addiction scares me, failing at school scares me, old people,places, and things scare me. Loosing any of my family members to cancer again scares me. Fear is one thing I need to check in on with myself daily about. What is causing or driving this fear and how can I overcome it in this difficult moment.
Thank you for sharing. You are so strong!
@AnimalLover1125 Thank you for opening up, Animallover <3 It sounds like fear is weighing heavily on you through no fault of your own. Facing so much loss and uncertainty would challenge anyone. Maybe focusing on those strengths could help ease your fears now. What strengths have helped you cope with difficulties in the past?
@ASilentObserver There are a few thoughts. No matter how old or far I have gone, it never left my mind. They stay there. They are aggravated.
1. Hurting my loved ones
2. Unable or failing to meet the expectations
3. Never being enough
I am still not strong enough to deal with them, even now.
@FeureVox I am sorry to hear that Feure. Those thoughts you mentioned sound difficult to carry. Reflecting on past hurts or not meeting expectations can stir up painful emotions. You're taking a courageous step in opening up about this. While the thoughts may not leave fully, please know you have all of us here to listen to and support you. How have you been coping with those feelings so far?
@ASilentObserver my hate to say ex cause it sounds degrading but his weird need to get reactions out of me if he does anything with someone else and how he doesn't realize that he's contradicting himself because if I were to give a reaction he'd call me confusing or that I'm not supposed to talk in that way. so in my mind I say none of what you're doing makes sense because you already have told me that my feelings aren't true. So why do u need a reaction ?. 🤷♀️
@tealLion9329 doesn't make sense I mean..these need edit buttons lol
@tealLion9329 Thank you for opening up with us, lion <3 It seems this situation has left you feeling confused and unsure of how to respond. Your feelings are understandable. You don't deserve to be in a relationship where your feelings aren't respected. What thoughts are currently going through your mind as you try to make sense of it all?
@ASilentObserver well its definitely confirming how alone of a person I am and I don't like that.
@tealLion9329 It's understandable to feel alone sometimes. Please know you have all of us here with you. You are not alone here. <3 Sending hugs, if okay
I worry a lot about things that I am nervous about in the future, such as school. I manage these thoughts by remembering everything will work out and that these anxieties will pass.
@coco128 I hear you, coco. It's understandable to feel worried about future uncertainties. Remembering that this too shall pass and that you have overcome difficulties before shows your strength and resilience. You've got this. What helps you manage those anxious thoughts in a caring way?
@coco128
I understand you too. Academic pressure is common.
However, I'm glad that you are able to have a positive mindset where you trust in yourself. I know that you are capable and will succeed. Don't lose hope! Things happen for a reason and I know you will end up in great places.
If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here as well.
How I manage my thoughts
I manage my thoughts by journaling and writing not real stories using my emotions, thoughts and what's nothing me. I take a breath tell myself thinking and laugh it off. I sometimes text a friend a rant just to get it out. I have mental health books to work through my thoughts and anxiety in general. I got them off Etsy. Meditate 3x a day and Journal at least 3x a day. Keep as busy as possible not necessarily active but doing something. Music can help with the voices which make my thoughts worce. Aframatons and mantras. Positive quotes.
Common thoughts
I have a lot of thoughts. I think about someone who hurt me in the past a lot. I think about whether he did it again as I was not allowed to tell as it was a family matter and dealt with in the family. I think about what could go wrong and about what others think way too much. I think of my health the most. I overthink everything even overthinking about overthinking when I am overthinking. Honestly, sometimes I take a breath and just laugh at the silliness.
@AutiBoy Thank you for sharing about your thoughts and strategies for managing them. It sounds like you've found creative ways to process what's on your mind through journaling, meditating, and keeping busy. I can understand how overthinking at times can lead to worries. It is good to be dedicated to your well-being.
@ASilentObserver
I have a lot of thoughts about being a bad friend or school grades.
@compassionateWatermelon6923 Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. It sounds like you have a lot on your mind. What kinds of feelings are coming up for you regarding school and friendship? We are all here with you to listen to and to support. You are not alone in this.
@ASilentObserver
Grades and friends that have moved away :(
@compassionateWatermelon6923 i think people around us come and serve their purpose in our life like guests on a show and they leave u learn something they came into ur life to show u smth and to give a message and u make friends with new ones and learn other stuff i feel like im a collective of every person i met about school grades rather than caring about a test care about how to study for it do what u could and thats that if u got a bad grade then god sees u better in smth else for an instance i have been aiming for medical school ever since i walked then i didn't get the grades for it and i regreted everything for so long but now when i think ab it i just know i was gonna be one miserable person because i just cannot physically nor mentally go thru such a stress and i hope u have a great day love .sending hugs
I did not see this thread before. But my big worry that shows up a lot on an on-and-off again basis is afraid of what will happen if something 'happens' to my parents since I live with them. We don't have any plan but for the fact my sister is suppose to be my caregiver (Despite being over 18) but I really don't like that idea much due to my experience back when I was 9 and she was 17. Of course now that apperently, if something "happened" to my parents- I can contact my province's Support Services and they cou;d "help" me somehow (not clear how) about it.
And sometimes I get really upset about the fact I have no partner (litereally still on Boyfriend 0) when I really, really, really want to have children and I want to have them by being pregant. I want children to continue on my family line, I want children to teach them the stories taught to me about ou ancestors ( loayist, another Mayflower, escaped from the Potato famine) so they can tell their children, or can tell their grandchildren, etc.
I know there's sperm donors but I want to experience some non-familial love but the more romantic love before I go w/ sperm donors. I know dating's hard and I can face rejection but that's part of life regardless friends, work, (or lack therof), etc. The closet thing I got to "love" would be the infatuation (on my part) aka crushes one when I was in elementary and one in high school.
@Disneywoman It sounds like you're feeling quite worried about the future and what might happen if anything were to happen to your parents. That's understandable - it's natural to feel concerned about caring for yourself without them. I hear you want to have children of your own to carry on family traditions as well. You also mentioned wanting romantic love and companionship. While dating can be challenging, focusing on surrounding yourself with caring people in your life seems important for your well-being. You have so much to offer the world.
@ASilentObserver which is kind of a problem because most of my "high school" girlfriends are all married and/or have children now beside being all over our province. My only "friends" are like peers like the elderly blind friend I mentioned or the person who got killed last week from my day-program.
@Disneywoman It sounds like you're experiencing feelings of loneliness without friends from your high school days in your life now. You mentioned your elderly blind friend and peers from your day program - it seems connecting with others is important to you.
@ASilentObserver
I know this sounds silly- but I figured if I can get a long-time boyfriend.. I could have an alterative Plan B to having to move in with my sister/have her move in with me if something happened to the parents (of course if I ended up with a sperm donor, I would try to see if I could get one that has children around and we could schedule playdates with the half-siblings-and that depending on where the half-siblings parents live-I could maybe move in with them-don't think it would be feasible for them to move into this house when it has only 3 bedrooms- in the event of something happening to the parents.
Of course the only problem with first scenario (boyfriend) is that with workers of the disablity income the Provincal disablity income "guidelines" aren't in accordance with my country's Family Act, so that let's say I moved in w/ my boyfriend- and we been in the same apartment for 3 months-the Provincal Disablity income people will automatically assume we're common law which means my disablity check would get dinged big. The country's federal Family Act is 3 years.
There's problem with the 2nd scenario of course and that's the issue of having to redo all the paperwork for disablity income and Development Supports if I moved to another town to move in with what is basically with my child's step-mother/or Dad)
@Disneywoman It is not silly, Disney. Thank you for sharing your concerns with me. It sounds like you're thinking through some difficult options as you consider your future living situation and ensuring your support needs are met. What feelings come up as you think about each possibility?
Please know you have all of us here and you doing great opening up with us and sharing your experiences and emotions.
@ASilentObserver once I'm done other stuff for today (had a long day went to a shooting range w/ dad)- I might make a thread maybe in Austim section of the forum of some other issues I have with my Dad/sister- But one of the stories might fit better over in this (anxiety) section instead..because there's some anxiety in that partciular story.
For the first situation-if I could get a long time boyfriend the problem is related to being what I can only call "dinged" aka punished by living with a partner full time for 3 months because my province's disablity income "family rules" isn't in accordance's with the Country's "Family Act" so that if the Disablity income workers would try to clackback my monthly check because I was living with a partner.
The 2nd idea is general a bad idea in one way-I never lived anywhere but this town for 33 years so to start over in another town is sort of not a good idea, considering the fact that I'm like Harry Potter in this town- I can walk down any street in town and someone will say "Hi Disney!" even if I don't know them.
@Disneywoman It is understandable that current living situation brings up a lot of difficult feelings and concerns. Moving forward while also feeling secure can be challenging.
@ASilentObserver just thought of something extra if I had a long-term boyfriend that in the summer that he and I and my Dad could play baseball together (and maybe any children we had when they're old enough) just like my Mom and my sister did- we (Dad/I) don't use hardballs but tennis balls-still hurt like heck though- but the baseball plan would have to be pre-planned if we wanted at the moment fictional boyfriend to play with us. And also if I had a long term boyfriend so that I could invite him over to be in the pool with me. I wouldn't do anything um "fun" in the pool with him (you know what I mean by "fun" right? not the toy playing kind of fun) but it would be nice to have company in the pool because all of the summer I was by myself in the pool basically except for the one time when it was so hot Dad would come in. And its kind of lonely.. in the pool by myself espcially when Mom and Dad are inside most of the time.
I feel like the same worries come back to me and stress me out alot. It comes from external avenues as well as internal, so I manage them in a sort of combat mode.
Sometimes my thoughts/worries are straight up wrong and I have to combat them with thoughts of 'hey that isn't true because of...' And that seems to help quite a bit.
The stress coming from external places I just get hung up on earlier.. mixes with the depression i'm sure. But I'm working on improving my self-image.
Hope you have a good day if you've read this far.
@NerdyArtiste Thank you for sharing about the worries and stresses you experience. It can feel overwhelming to have thoughts coming at us from both external and internal places. I'm glad to hear you've found reflection on your thoughts helps provide some relief. You seem determined in your efforts, and that strength will serve you well. Please continue being gentle with yourself as you face each new day. How have you been working on improving your self-image during this time?
