Weekly Prompt #18: What are your main sources of stress in your life?
Hello everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
A couple of weeks ago we discussed: Are there any particular thoughts or worries that frequently occupy your mind? Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts for discussion. I enjoyed them. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: What are your main sources of stress in your life?
This week I want us to reflect and explore this topic that can help us understand and explore the sources of our stress. Please take a moment to identify the areas that are causing you the most stress. Let's get started and all thoughts are welcomed!
Note: A helpful tip from @hope : "I recommend the book 'How to stop worrying and start living'. You can find the audiobook on YouTube"
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CURRENTLY its my job search really wanna upgrade to a better job already
@independentLion2898 It sounds like finding a better job is really important to you right now. What kinds of jobs are you hoping to find that would be an upgrade? I
People…
and
unemployment…
@McCayyy I hear you Cay. It's understandable that people and unemployment would cause stress. We are all here with you to listen to and to support. Please feel free to share more if you are comfortable to
My family.
@23helicopters I'm sorry to hear family is a significant source of stress in your life. It's understandable that close relationships can sometimes be complex. If you feel comfortable, please do share more and know we are all here with you to listen to and to support.
Aww thank you. Honestly I don't even know where to start because I have so many trauma due to my family that is causing me so much pain and it is the biggest reason why I have depression and anxiety.
I was emotionally neglected when I was a kid (and even now). It always hurt so much. Everytime I was trying to say something to my dad he was always like : " it's not important", "it doesn't matter" , so at a young age I learned to shut up about my interests because I knew it doesn't matter. My relationship with my mom is complicated too and I don't even wanna talk about it. So when I was growing up I had a lot of stuff like toys but not my parent's affection. I also never learned how to properly socialize and as a result was always alone at school and was teased for it. I remember ,now that I think of it ,that I made myself a friend after one more try to talk to my dad and he once again said that it doesn't matter. It was a rock. I just picked up a rock and drew a face on it and called it rocky😭😭 He was the only one who could listen to me and at least he wasn't saying it doesn't matter. I remember I also spent one Christmas with him because my parents got into a fight and were not in the mood to celebrate( they have almost no friends and no one invites us on Christmas). So yeah no I realize how miserable I was. Spending a Christmas with my so called friend rocky.
I'm crying writing this btw.
It's so much unhealed trauma and I tried to talk about it all to my parents but it made things only WORSE ( I thought it old never be possible) THEY JUST GASLIGHTED ME!!!! And it left me crying and wondering if I am imagining it or not. Even now I am wondering this. Maybe it's "all in my head " like my dad said. But the pain is here tho. So no it's true and the trauma they inflicted to me is true too.
I have NO ONE in this family to rely on.
My mother is from another country and moved here to be with my dad. Her whole family is int he other country and they are nice but we stopped talking and anyways it's not helping much to talk to someone by phone..
My dad's side of the family is horrible. They are exactly like my dad. Whenever I visit them I feel like a burden and sooooo uncomfortable. They just give me chocolate or something like this and then live me alone in another room with their cat while they (all the adults) talk together. I have no cousin near my age. They are all old. (My parents had me really really late, and I now am realizing how it messed me up). They are all so negative and always pessimistic. They always find negative stuff to say about other people and complain. They swear a lot too and I hate it. The only "family memeber" I like is their cat Yuki. He's nice to me at least.
The irony that an animal treats me better and with more love than humans. Everytime I go visit them there is either a fight or it is either a big criticism of everyone they know and how everyone is awful.
Like help me!!! I never wanted to be in this family!!
I'm so scared for my future because I don't even have an example of what a good and right family is.
I wanna have one and be a mom but I'm scared to be a bad one because I don't even know how to properly show my affection to people and stuff.
The only cousin I kinda talk to in this family is kinda judgy and is not trying to understand me.
She called me last time and I didn't answer because I ahd a lot of homework to do( let alone all my traumas that make me miserable, but no one knows that) so I told her I didn't answer because I was very busy and exhaled and she told me it was just an excuse.
Like what?
Girl I'm barely surviving here and she tells me this.
I'm sick of this family for real.
And the only person I could talk to was my uncle. He used to take a lot of time to talk to me and we were spending a lot of time together but now he's not even answering to my phone calls because he is busy. I am so heartbroken. I put all my trust into him and now he is abandoning me.
I'm so scared for my future because at already my age I'm constantly so sad and disappointed by people.
I'm sorry for this long paragraph but I needed to let it go.
It does feel better, like a weight is off my shoulders but there is still this big and ugly pain inside of me that just HURTS. CONSTANTLY. It's just different everyday. It transforms into different emotions like sadness, anger, jealousy.. I also have nightmares about my parents every night it makes me sick. I also cry a lot during my dreams. I even sometimes wake up and don't even know if I am still in my dream or not.
That's it!! The sad story of my miserable life!!
It's ok if you didn't read it all. I know it's very long so it was just to let it go.
But thank you for your question. It's nice to know that someone cares at least.
So have a good day/ night!
Sending you hugggs ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Dad is a *** idoit again. You know how I mentioned his ** door locking habbit? Mom and I went across the street to try to deliver some candy to the boy (he and his family were new commers to Canada summer of 2022)- and the few mintues Mom and I went across the **** street dad locked the screen door on us. So we had to use one of our last couple of trick or treators phone to get Dad to unlock the screen door.
I mean Mom litereally told Dad "She would have to miss a few mintues of (show)" when Dad said it was coming on.
@Disneywoman I'm sorry to hear about the frustrating experience with your dad locking you out. That must have felt unfair after your mom told him you would only be a few minutes. You and your mom were just trying to be friendly neighbors in welcoming the new family. I can understand why it would be upsetting.
@ASilentObserver the neighbours moved in summer of 2022. So they;re been here one year. Its enough time that Mom give the boy some Bellatrix Potter animal books for school
@Disneywoman It sounds like the new neighbours have been there for about a year now. How are you feeling about their presence in the neighbourhood?
@ASilentObserver I'm muti-cultural. My Mom grew up most of her life in South Korea and her sister married a Chinese man. So growing up I got the Red Enevlopes whenever I saw my Imo (Mother's sister). My imo still gives me money when I see her occasioanlly. And up until Gr. 8 I had Chinese-Canadian classmates (one year I had both siblings in my class- me and the brother were in Gr. 2 and the sister in Gr. 1) and every year with Gr. 7 beening the last year the classmate(s)mom would come and teach the classes about Chinese New Year.
But I never actually spoken yet to any of the family..my parents have. I'm kind of shy around new people. I'm only just like spy on Mom when she gave the boy the Bellatrix Potter books-just to see what the family looks like-since the only Indian person I knew is my sachon's ex-boyfriend.
But Dad kept telling me for months (actually the family moved in Christmas of 2021-but I was unaware) to "wave to the family" that moved in across the street but how could I do that w/o know what they looked like?
@ASilentObserver lack of sleep, sedentary lifestyle, and my job.
@Tryinghardnottofallapart680 It sounds like your job, lack of sleep, and sedentary lifestyle have been leading to stress. You must have a lot on your plate to manage each day. I am glad you opened up and shared here with us. Please take your time to share and discuss more as you feel comfortable to. We are all here with you to listen to and to support.
I've actually started to think/feel that the main source of stress in my life is me. I've learnt (and I'm far from perfect at it!) to recognise when reactions to stimuli are starting to become stress-like symptoms and then 'note' them and let them pass. It's not about not dealing with the problem/stimuli themselves - it's about managing the reactions within myself. Do you see what I mean??
@BryanM9999 It sounds like you have gained some insight into how stress arises from within and how managing your reactions can help. I am glad to hear you're focusing on managing reactions rather than avoiding problems, as dealing with issues often brings relief.
@ASilentObserver Having to do everything by myself and not finishing my work
@DeLeeAh You must feel overwhelmed at times. It is understandable that having to do everything alone and not finishing your work would cause stress. How does that kind of stress feel for you?
@ASilentObserver I think it makes me snappy or just want to cry or have a meltdown
@DeLeeAh feeling stressed in that way can be really difficult to handle. We are all here with you to support and listen to you. <3
People. Especially those in close to
@selahgrayce It is understandable that people close to us can sometimes be a source of stress. How are you feeling about your current relationships?
its trash! most of my relationships right now are rocky.
@selahgrayce I am sorry to hear your relationships are feeling rocky right now. That must be difficult to experience. You do not deserve to feel this way, and you have all of us here to listen to and to support you.
My health.
@electricPeace6276 I am sorry to hear your health is causing stress. Your well-being is so important. Please know we are all here with you to listen to and to support. Please share more about your health as if you feel comfortable to.
I'm a 30+ year old woman still living with her parents due to disabled income I can't get a paying job nor can I move out. The room where my comptuer is not only has the computer but books as well but also laudnry racks so during fall/winter and parts of spring/summer Mom hangs laundry up here. It just sometimes I want to have some quiet time and I got really annoyed with Dad coming up twice today to check to see about if heat is coming from downstairs or not and I litereally yelled at him but come on- I'm trying to do Nation Novel writing Month to get to at least 3,000 words today and I'm already was going to be distracted by Mom coming into this room 5 times that I didn't need to be doubly distracted by Dad coming up 10,000 times today to check on the *** heat was coming up when I told him when I was making my **** lunch early I was **** fine.
and Mom told me off for it later but seriously I need some quiet time and this is after 2 years ago the day before Dad had his surgery that the entire week before his sugery I had to hear him thumping around the legally own guns he has because he was cleaning them and putting them away and the worse is that the day before the surgery that for hours I had to listen to 1 voice and about 2 hours before supper I then had to listen to 2 voices both my Dad's and my sister's and I couldn't contreact at all with what I was doing that I went downstairs and complained to Mom and she said "I would be able to have the room to myself after supper." That didn't the *** happen because when my sister should be going to bed she was on a cell phone for 2 hours and she HAD to bring her cell phone into this so I still had no privacy that day so I went to bad early and she wasn't done on the phone until one in the morning.
@Disneywoman It sounds really challenging to feel like you don't have a space that's truly your own. What's it been like for you to feel that lack of privacy and quiet time?
@ASilentObserver Most of the time I do have privacy up here except when its Laundry day. Or Dad needs to check the *** answering machine which is to my right. I have contanstly reminded Dad to try to do it when I'm eatting lunch not when I'm at my computer because its really annoying if I'm trying to listen to something and a werider voice comes on then whatever I'm listening too
@Disneywoman It is frustrating to have your privacy interrupted when you're trying to focus on something. How does it make you feel when that happens?