Weekly Prompt #18: What are your main sources of stress in your life?
Hello everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
A couple of weeks ago we discussed: Are there any particular thoughts or worries that frequently occupy your mind? Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts for discussion. I enjoyed them. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: What are your main sources of stress in your life?
This week I want us to reflect and explore this topic that can help us understand and explore the sources of our stress. Please take a moment to identify the areas that are causing you the most stress. Let's get started and all thoughts are welcomed!
Note: A helpful tip from @hope : "I recommend the book 'How to stop worrying and start living'. You can find the audiobook on YouTube"
Join us in the Anxiety Support Chat every Monday and Tuesday!
People
@akay06 gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤
@akay06 It's understandable that people can be stressful at times. You're not alone in finding social situations challenging at times. What kind of interactions leave you feeling that way?
Depends on the day. An encounter at the grocery store, past co-workers reaching out, distance family members. Just depends really.
@akay06 It makes sense and is understandable, kay. It sounds like encounters with others can vary each day. \You must experience a wide range of emotions. We are all here to support you.
@akay06
So true.
@ASilentObserver worry. I would say mainly over health. And people from the past
@Tinywhisper11 It's understandable to feel worried about health and stressed by past relationships. You're not alone in experiencing worries, and it shows strength that you're talking about what's on your mind. What thoughts or feelings arise for you when considering these concerns?
@ASilentObserver well people from past. Tw. I don't want the bad people to find me. Tw-
I'm half paralysed now. And my spine is broken and not completely fixable. One day I'll most likely become completely paralysed. I'm not sure what I will do it that happens. Also my immune system is rubbish. I get ill alot, doctors said it'll be a miracle if I live to 40. So yeah health worries me
@Tinywhisper11 so mostly fear
@Tinywhisper11 I understand this is causing you a lot of fear and worry. Your health concerns would weigh heavily on anyone. You seem strong in facing each day as it comes. You're not alone in this experience.
@ASilentObserver ❤🤗❤ thankyou ❤
@Tinywhisper11
I'm so sorry to hear about your health troubles. I can empathize with having spinal problems and compromised immune system. I have Ankylosing Spondylitis, which causes chronic pain, limits mobility, and compromises my immune system, so I know from experience how disheartening it can feel. I just want you to know that you're not alone in this and that I'm here for you whenever you want to talk.
@itrulywanttohearfromyou awwww thanks sweetie ❤❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤ sorry your always in pain too. It really sucks
@ASilentObserver people
@blitheComfort6759 I hear you Comfort. It's understandable that people can be stressful. You're not alone in finding relationships complex at times. What feelings arise for you in those interactions?
My greatest fear is society/people, but excluding strangers. I am more afraid of the possible consequences of expressing myself rather than people in general. So I guess, I fear vulnerability? Rejection, possibly? Also, unpredictable reactions?
Then there is the fact I am often misunderstood. For once I want to be seen for who I am. I am afraid of being taken advantage of. I am afraid of how quickly people judge. I am afraid of being laughed at, screamed at, and shamed. I am terrified of unintentionally ruining my reputation so badly that I have nowhere to go, no job that would hire me, no friends to confide in, no one who would offer me refuge. People misjudge me. They never want to talk it through, they just assume I am bad. I am not a bad person, I swear. I care so much for other people! There are so many people I want to help!
I stress myself out by wearing a mask of sorts? It's not really a mask, as much as it is a very systematic approach to everry little social interaction I have. Is my tone right? Am I keeping the right ammount of eye contact? How is my posture? Is my face too stoic, am I smiling, are my eyes watery? What do they seem to mean by what they say? What was their tone? Their facial expression? It's too much. And I am so afraid of losing focus/control. What if my composure breaks? I finally break, because it feels like I will eventually. IT IS TOO MUCH. It really is!
The issue is, if I forsook this means of interacting I would become rejected. They would all tell me how bad I am. I know they would, because I've been through it time and time again. Where everything breaks down and for a second I am seen. I have literally lost jobs this way because my managers start treating me so badly or watching me so closely, or not trusting me and cutting my hours to the point I may as well not be on payroll!
The place that causes me the most stress is work. There are too many coworkers and managers to interact with. Too many relationships to manage at once. It is also a source of depression for me, and I don't know why that is. The more hours I get, the worse my mental health. Maybe because I can't be authentic. I even have those coworkers who are looking for friendships. It's like they think if they open me up, they'll like me.
@courteousCoconut2519 Thank you for opening up and sharing your experiences with us, Coco. It sounds like expressing your authentic self brings up a lot of difficult fears around being misunderstood or facing negative reactions from others. Wanting to be seen for who you are is very understandable. You care deeply about connecting with others, yet the pressure to hide parts of yourself causes you stress and takes away your sense of freedom. Maintaining different versions of ourselves to avoid potential hurt is an exhausting way to live. You deserve to feel comfortable being your full, true self without fear of judgment or rejection. How does focusing so much energy on managing interactions make you feel internally?
@courteousCoconut2519
Have you ever thought of showing the real you...
It is extremely exhausting and stressful to play a role or be behind a mask ... trying to check off a checklist of posture/ eye contact/ empathy / or other items we read we need to do in conversations.... sometimes we lose the real us.
I did it for years.... now they get the real me ... people doing this as a co-worker is big on it miss the whole conversation/ or meeting trying too hard to look the part instead of being present.. she always ask questions that were answered because she was too into character to pay attention. .
life is short you are either playing a part for others or living for yourself.
@ASilentObserver
1. Work, because I need money to live.
2. Childcare, because my kid is autistic, refuses to do his work in school, and hits other students and his teacher and does not yet qualify for state support or an IEP.
3. Childcare again, because I am the only one in the family who does any of it.
4. Health, because there are not enough hours in the day for me to go to the gym and I can feel my body falling apart around me.
5. Isolation, because nobody wants to be friends with the parents of the violent autistic kid who everyone hates.
@generousSailboat3674 I feel you. I am in a similar boat
@generousSailboat3674 I understand this is an incredibly difficult situation with many stresses pulling at you from different directions. Caring for a child with special needs while also needing to work and manage everything alone sounds so challenging. You must feel very overwhelmed at times. What helps you cope with or find moments of relief from all the pressures you face each day?
@ASilentObserver
There is no relief. It is after 10:00 pm on a weekend and I am making up work I missed during the week because my spouse will not care for our kid and our kid cannot go a week without hitting another child at school so he keeps getting suspended.
My main sources of stress right now are my father and my dog. My father was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in April. A recent scan revealed that despite all the chemo and radiation it has spread more and there's nothing more they can do except keep him comfortable
My dog is a senior. She's deaf and almost completely blind and has sundowners. She's been getting worse and I know it won't be too long before I need to make that dreaded call
sorry this is all probably TMI
@mytwistedsoul I'm so sorry to hear about the difficult situations with your father and dog. It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of sadness, stress, and uncertainty. You must be feeling very overwhelmed. Please know that your feelings are valid and you don't need to go through this alone. How are you coping with everything you're dealing with right now?
@ASilentObserver Thank you. I'm totally overwhelmed by all this. It's alot to take in. My father and I were estranged for years and my feelings and thoughts are complicated about him. I honestly don't know if I'm really coping with any of this. I try to keep busy and try not to think about it. So I guess maybe I'm coping that way. But some days it's all I think about and there's nothing I can do to stop or change any of this. It just - is what it is
Thank you for your reply
@mytwistedsoul It sounds like the loss of your father has brought up many complicated emotions after years of estrangement. You're right that there is nothing that can change what has happened. But maybe we can try to be gentle and kind to oneself as we process and get through it.
@ASilentObserver My family but not in the way like THEY stress me out, their schedules stress me out.
@StarryNites86 It sounds like their schedules add pressure and stress. You must feel overwhelmed at times with everything you have going on. In what way their schedules impact you?
@ASilentObserver Family and school, basically the environments I spent 95% of the time in.
@cyanHuman4654 It's understandable that family and school environments can be major sources of stress. You must feel quite overwhelmed at times. How are you managing through it all?
Work. Too much work.
Angry, swearing people, stressed people
@mish3l It sounds like you've been dealing with a lot of stress at work from angry and stressed people. That must be very difficult to experience day after day. You're handling a lot, and it's understandable that it would take a toll. What kinds of feelings come up for you when dealing with these situations?
Hi! Sorry I didn't mean for those two to be related, ita just two separate things that make me feel really stressed out.
I'm really sensitive and I had my fair share of forced daily arguments and anger from my mom so I suffer quite enough when people are angry and try to argue angrily.
What is work related, I burned out 5 years ago before maternaleave and now I'm going back. I found out there is twice much work as before and It makes my anxiety and panic attacks worse 🙈
@mish3l I hear this is bringing up difficult feelings from your past experiences as well as new stresses. It sounds like you've been through a lot and have developed a sensitivity to anger and arguments over time. How are you currently coping with these feelings of anxiety and panic in your day to day?
I don't know, I am just trying to survive it. Breathe when in comes and get through the day. I am lucky most of the time I am still on vacation leave so I have some time to adjust. I only work 2-3 days of the week but even that is too much for me.
If I do not make it then I guess I will find another job, I have other options.
@mish3l It sounds like you're feeling quite overwhelmed at the moment. Taking things one day at a time and focusing on self-care like breathing when it gets tough is very wise. You seem to have a practical mind in having other options, but I imagine this transition is still difficult in its own way. You've got strength and resilience in you.
@mish3l
It sounds like you're struggling with being overwhelmed by too much work and having to deal with angry coworkers. I have been there myself and know how trying it can be. I want you to know I feel for you and I'm here for you whenever you want to talk to someone about this or anything else going on in your life. Also, I'm proud of you for being proactive and reaching out and asking for help. It shows a lot of bravery and integrity.
@ASilentObserver
The main source of my stress is me. I am an excessive worrier, mostly about my adult child. I have no reason to worry, but I do anyway. And then I can't stop worrying, and it rolls into a huge ball of worry that continues to grow and it completely stresses me out. I'm not sure why I do this (still working on figuring it out) but I'm causing the majority of my own stress.
@thoughtfulmomma Thank you for sharing about your worry. It sounds like you've been carrying a heavy burden. Reflecting on our thoughts and feelings can be challenging but important work. You seem self-aware that you deserve compassion. Where this worry come from?
