Weekly Prompt #21: How does loneliness manifest in your life during the holidays?
Welcome everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
A couple of weeks ago we discussed: Do you live more in the past or future? Thank you to all who participated and tried. I appreciate you all. I hope you all find it helpful. If you didn't try or experienced any challenges while trying, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: How does loneliness manifest in your life during the holidays?
This week I want us to reflect and explore this topic that can help us understand and explore loneliness during holidays. As much as holidays are a great time for all to celebrate and experience joy, for many it is the most challenging time too. Please take a moment to reflect and share with us. Let's get started and all thoughts are welcomed!
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@ASilentObserver
Hi, ASO,
First I'd like to ask that no one respond except ASO. Thank you.
I wish I had a group of friends and/or family who were nice people and wanted me around for their holidays.
@purpleTree4652 I hear you Purple. That sounds lonely to wish for companionship during the holidays and not have a supportive group around. Please know you're not alone in experiencing loneliness at times. What feelings arise for you when thinking about holidays past or upcoming without close friends and family?
@ASilentObserver
Lots. I have had holidays when i was with family and they made fun of me. I've also been invited to places that I thought were sympathy invitations, so I turned them down.
@purpleTree4652 I am sorry to hear that some family gatherings and invitations have left you feeling hurt or unsure. It sounds like being made fun of or feeling like an obligation can take away one's sense of belonging. Please know you deserve to spend time with people who appreciate you for who you are.
@ASilentObserver
I don't get lonely during the holidays. Just the opposite. I would rather not engage in the holiday festivities. I am not religious and over the years i have lost the interest in giving and receiving presents. Also i don't see spending all the time driving for a couple of hours of contact with people.
@Gettingbettertoday Thank you for sharing your feelings about the holidays. It seems connecting with others while managing your time and energy levels is important to you. What feelings come up for you when thinking about holiday festivities?
How does loneliness manifest in your life during the holidays?
I get depressed, have nightmares, feel stuck and lost. I feel like no one understands me. I am in a current situation where I do not have privacy or a lot of extra room. I really can't decorate and buying gifts are very complicated as I currently don't have a job. I am working on health issues with myself and family members. I feel like since I cannot have kids, a lot of the magic of the holiday isn't there. My guy and I live in two different states and it makes me feel even lonelier.
I just feel like I am in the cold and in the dark. It's like the creepiness in the dark is my imagination playing against me. I have severe depression, social anxiety, and PTSD and my living situation with the holiday just amplify the dark feelings. I am nervous as I feel I pushed part of my family away, and it will make it even more lonely. I also think pushing Christmas right after Halloween is way way too soon. My birthday is in December and I am not looking forward to it.
I try to focus on my writing, coloring and to get out when I can. I am currently on spiritual journey this year and I trying to focus on myself. I want to work on the darkness and adding more light.
@Rebekahwriter13 I hear how difficult this holiday season is feeling for you with all that's going on in your life right now. It sounds like loneliness and lack of control over your situation are amplifying your depression and anxiety. What aspects of focusing on yourself and your spiritual journey are helping you find some light during this challenging time?
@ASilentObserver I'm trying to focus on creative projects when I am not fighting headaches
I think most of my loneliness stems from what most people experience, also my family providing extra stress. It's like I want to be alone, and at the same time I want to connect with people that are like minded.
@EmberShard I am sorry to hear that you're experiencing conflicting feelings of wanting both solitude and connection. What thoughts go through your mind on the days you feel most alone? You aren't alone in experiencing loneliness at times - many seek companionship while also valuing time to oneself. We are all here with you to listen to and to support. <3
I feel as though I don't deserve anything good. And I think of all the things I could do, but don't have the energy or willpower to do it. It also just gets harder to reach out, the more I isolate.
@EmberShard You're experiencing feelings of low self-worth and isolation. Those feelings can be really difficult to cope with. Please know you deserve all care and compassion and we are all here with you. <3
Thank you for supporting and responding to my message. You're a great person and deserve the best
By not planning anything for holidays, doing lonely activities randomly, and not caring about time like talking a long time in shower or sleeping too much without caring about the time you waked up, etc.
@DinaElwy It sounds like the holidays can be a lonely time spent doing random activities without much connection to others or concern for time. Taking long showers or sleeping for long periods without a plan may be ways of coping with difficult feelings. What matters most to you during this time?
@ASilentObserver To feel that I am not alone.
@DinaElwy I get the Din. We are all in this with you and I hope sharing and discussing with us making you feel a bit less lonely. You are not alone here
@ASilentObserver Ah I knew this was coming lol, but honestly loneliness has not been a factor for me anymore not since I have been with my fiancé and his amazing parents. They have opened their home to my daughter and I, an I could not be more blessed for that. I'm beyond grateful for them and him as well. Now if this was a question asked to me a bit ago like give or take 2 and a half years ago. I would have said it played significantly due to being in abusive relationship and losing my friend 3 days after Christmas. It took me a while to feel a normal again after that let alone want to be around people, not just because of the grief, but because of the abusive relationship. The loneliness was the prime factor that played a major role in how I felt, especially because I was also pregnant. Now, I can for sure say that I have been healing, recovering and allowing the happiness, blessings and festiveness of the holidays transpire. This is such a great question to ask thank you for this. 🤗
@PhoenixButterfly97 I am glad to hear you're in a much better place now with the support of your fiancé and his parents. It sounds like you have come a long way in your healing journey. You mentioned allowing happiness and blessings to transpire. It seems like focusing on the present and all you have to be grateful for has helped lift your spirit.
I live 8 hours round trip from my parents and can't afford a trip rn anyway. My ex (of 14 years) is refusing to sell our house or pay me out. He has our pets and I won't go back because he won't get a job, go to therapy and stop emotionally and verbally abusing me. Ironically he and my rescue cats were my only family for years though. So holidays are already depressing. Lady I live with has a huge Mormon family. She invited me to be with them but it honestly just depressed me more thinking about essentially being some third wheel weirdo with no actual family intruding on their family holiday.
@brokenjdh Thank you for opening up and sharing with us Broken. <3 Not having family close during the holidays after so many years together must feel lonely and disappointing. What kinds of activities or people bring you comfort during this difficult time?
I had childhood ornaments I collected and loved to decorate the tree with them, put up stockings over the fireplace for our 😺s, and watch our classic movies. Just feels like all those traditions are forever now lost or will be a reminder of moments tainted by a decade of abuse. I guess I will have to create new memories/traditions.
@brokenjdh Those childhood traditions and ornaments you treasured bringing you joy as a child. It is understandable that memories from that time are now difficult. Creating new traditions can help build new joyful memories to look forward to. <3
@ASilentObserver
(sorry for my broken English it's not my first language)
My boyfriend and I broke up a little over a month ago. We used to stay in my or his house every weekend, now that it's over i spend my weekends alone, sometimes I spend them with my family and sometimes i go out with some friends to distract myself even if I don't feel like it, but I still feel quite lonely and depressed on the weekends.
@Yiyi2002
The Christmas holidays are approaching and I have the feeling that I'm not going to have a very good time emotionally.
@Yiyi2002 That is okay Yiy. I appreciate you for sharing and opening up with us. It sounds like weekends have been difficult without your regular time with your boyfriend. Spending time with family and friends helps provide distraction, though the loneliness still finds its way in. What sorts of activities do you find help you feel most connected during this transition? We are all here with you to listen to and to support.
for some reason my original posts about how loneness shows up on the hoildays for me somehow got deleted. So I'm going to say again.
The only way this shows up for me is because it means I don't have another way home from events I'm literally stuck at events like family reunions around Christmas until my parents want to leave and when we been there since like 3pm-4pm and we don't leave until like 9pm? Which is really annoying when you consider that my Dad has a habit of starting to drive the car when I'm not buckled up yet. I'm trying to teach him not to start the *** car until I'm buckled up but he wouldn't listen. If I had like a boyfriend I could get home another way. Heck I would even take going in my Aunt's car just anything so I'm not stuck at reunion which has literally drained my "Stamina bar" in the RPG of "Real life". Its fine for the first 2-3 hours and through supper but seriously because my Mom wouldn't let me "overeat" the appetizers because she doesn't want me to be overfull for the main course whatever it may be. She doesn't seem to realize that additional food is a bonus to my stamina
Sorry about that last bit I just listened to a couple of disability RPG analogy's recently
Luckily I am usually not lonely around the holidays.
@cafedaydreams I am glad to hear the holidays don't usually bring feelings of loneliness for you. it is understandable that this season can stir up a range of emotions for many.
