Expressing Healthy Anger Day 4

@cheerfulKiwi1776

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@cheerfulKiwi1776

Most of the time, I never really used to  talk about my frustrations. This was not because, I chose to let go of it but because, idk it seemed like a better option not to argue. I have lived to carry grudges for literally my whole life. It has been a tiresome way of dealing with everything. I feel like if you take the 20-30 mins just to give yourself a break so that your brain comes up with something resourceful for the long run, is going to have a good impact on yourself and also others. I have tried this for a month now and tbh it does work. Thanks so much for this Kiwi 

@cheerfulKiwi1776

Honestly, I mostly continue in the conversation till the breaking point and then I burst, start crying.

This technique sounds helpful, and I'm going to use it next time!

Thanks for the amazing post. 💖

@cheerfulKiwi1776 

- my responses vary. Usually I tend to continue arguing, which ends in my crying and the other person yelling. Recently Ive started stepping away sooner. Ive used the sentence "Im not going to answer you because it'll make things worse" alot recently. But theres no returning to the topic. It just gets swept under the rug after that.

- I could try it, but I expect push-back. The person I argue with most hates letting me step back. Still, ill see what happens if i do try it.

Thanks for telling us how to handel anger but i highly doubt whether i would be able to identify Anger symptoms of my body before it's too late but I'll try this method it sounds good.

•I argue and end up in very bad condition most of the time things get bad so i try to avoid it but most of the time i can't....my anger is realated with something vulnerable like trust or justice and smthing else therefore when it's come it come with this mixture it's become hards for me to control as not only Anger is involved.

•i think it's much safer option and we can talk logically and actually slove the problem instead of arguing and just being or acting aggressive.

It depends. I usually try to go away and leave it alone. It's very hard not to dwell on it for a while though.

Eh, not fond of 😅. I do warn people that I won't be saying anything nice sometimes.

@cheerfulKiwi1776

For me its kinda a mix of both. Like during some situations I do tend to push through and argue but there's been other times too where I just shut down and just have the urge to escape from the situation and just want to be alone. 

I think I would want to use the script but a lot of the time when I'm in an argument with someone I cant ever just step away and come back and address the situation later after I've cooled off. Im usually forced to stay and resolve the situation during it all, which in turn makes me shut down later. 

@cheerfulKiwi1776 I used to avoid conflict almost every time, which always led to an uncomfortable experience. It wasn't a smart way to handle things, and it turns out it ruined all my relationships. Most of the time, I stayed calm, but once the anger had accumulated day by day, I would break up and quickly disappear. It always made me feel stressed and caused me to lose friends. After reading this post, I will try to take a tactical timeout to calm myself down and think clearly. Take a break from the intense environment, and then find a better way to communicate.

@cheerfulKiwi1776

​How do you normally handle high-intensity moments—do you tend to push through and argue, or do you flee and avoid?

depends at times i  stay and argue mostly when i feel safe with the person or within a safe place think i do this at times online due to with ones i am with i feel safe so know it ok to be open and more i guess to argue with

offline i mostly shut down out of belief i not be heard or i be hurt  mostly will flee and aviod in my head not physically  leave were i at or with who i with

think 2nd one due to childhood and being punished for having emotions so was not safe to  argue or even voice how i was feeling or asking for a time out 

• ​How would it feel to use the script above the next time a conversation gets too heated?

truth very scary as even now i have a hard time not fearing punishment for asking for time to cool down  also to admit  i am angry  is hard for me still  as feel at times i have no right to be angry  

Anxiety kicks in. I get quiet and walk away. I've never been good at arguing and conflicts. 

Yeah ... no. I couldn't see myself saying that.