I’m Close To a Breakdown…

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@jesusredeemedme2425 when I first started on 7 cups I didn't have a voice which made me turn to humour and shortly after loving on everyone but myself. I was taking on to much and not thinking about myself. Then I got to the point your at now🙁 so I learnt that taking breaks is necessary for your own sake, finding a balance between on and off line is really important. Also I learnt I can be more than one version of myself, it's ok to have my playful side my helpful side and the side that still needs support and kindness 💖 so please slow down, be all the things you need to be in proportion💖😁 real friends love you and will stay beside you no matter what💖 gives you a giant tiny hug 💗💗 I'm right here for you alway s💖

@jesusredeemedme2425 *crosses arms in so will you listen to me with the break now?

I know it is scary. I know you love to be with us here. But this is exactly why i keep repeating it over and over again. You are absolutely there, somewhere under all the stress and noise. You just need a moment to reconnect with yourself. Do you have an option to book a spa, a massage or a therapy session? Going for a walk or to the gym? To sit in a caffee and stare at the wall there? I know it sounds scary. And it will be extremely hard at the start. You will just need to push through the initial discomfort, panic and underwhelm.

I promise it gets better. The initial panic will slowly go away. It´s possible that for the first day or few, you will be cosplaying a rock, laying on bed and staring at the ceiling. That´s okay. Keep to rest as much as you need. Maybe even order some take out for the first day to not bother with cooking. Go for a walk in the eve. Get some ice-cream. Let yourself be bored. Maybe try to journal by dumping all the thoughts out and then address them one by one. But most crucially. Turn your phone on silent. And get some D vitamin. 

It won´t be easy, but I believe in you. You got this! 😊

@jesusredeemedme2425 Sending the biggest hug of comfort your way! Please take time to care, love, and nurture yourself when it's needed. Helping others is important but so are you, Kiara! ☆♡ 

@jesusredeemedme2425    HI Kiara! I'm sorry you're feeling all of this alone. It's definitely not easy. Life can be tough and dealing with your own struggles while feeling alone is awful. I know how you feel. The overwhelming feelings and the non-ending thoughts running in your head that feels like they never stop and like your head is sooo tense and the feeling like you're suffocating, it's not easy and others don't seem to see it or feel it with you and that's what hurts more. Not feeling seen or felt the way you want and to the extent that's aligned with your pain. But know that we're here for you, as you are for us, we have each others. We love you and respect you and feel happy when you show up and comments with your sweet kind ones. You are amazing and beautiful and a kind soul, you deserve the love, the appreciation and respect. You are smart and a strong person. You got this 👍  you know English is not my native language but I'm trying to make sense of my words 🙂 but I hope you feel the love and support through my words 💓 br kind to yourself and take step by step slowly, you don't need to rush anything, your well being Is the most important here 🤗

My first thought from all of this, and you don't have to agree, but maybe it got all muddled up because you needed that to heal. That's how it was for me at least. If so, maybe you just need to connect with who you really are.

And I think that I see who you really are too. I mean, I'd certainly hope so. You're not perfect, I for one don't put you on a pedestal. The things you feel that people need you for .. well, you have a gift for them. But you deserve to be known deeper than that. Then again, maybe people would surprise you if you asked them to describe you. I'd describe you as playful, a good listener, sassy, you appreciate real beauty, and you have a way of seeing the exact important thing that no one else in the room notices. I'd also say that you're lonely, especially on the level that you have more personality than the confines of your every day life easily allow for. That's definitely not a bad thing, I'm the same way.

Hopefully some of that rings true and/or helpful, but I'm here as always. ❤️ I want to see you getting into a moderation that actually works for you and lets you thrive. I might not be able to promise that I'll get you there myself, but I'm definitely along for the ride.

@jesusredeemedme2425

I have lost myself before trying to please others. Trying desperately to be an idealised version of myself. I thought it's what I wanted, but I was clearly wrong. I had to break the cycle. I had to abandon all notions of who I was and start again.

I'm not suggesting anything drastic, just take time to do nothing for a while. As much nothing as you can justify (I understand you have responsibilities). If doing is leading you to a wall, stop running into it. If you must do something, do something new and light.

I never thought I'd be interested in poetry and now it is one of my passions. Same with photography. We are ever changing. You are your past and present self, but you must find a way to be your future self.

It was only after stopping that I could start again. It took time though. I was lost in a fog for months before anything clicked. It was boring... I spent quite a lot of time just in bed. I had to embrace the boredom. I had to realise that productivity doesn't always look like doing, like achieving, sometimes it is healing so that you may continue. And for me, healing was stopping. It was the most productive thing I have ever done. It opened up so many doors, but first I had to close most of them.

I worry about you Kiara. You do a lot, and now it seems like you've done too much! I know you've probably been told a million times to take a break, from people and your body, but I think it is as simple as that. Without rest, you're headed for serious burnout, and no-one wants that for you.

We all care about you deeply. We appreciate all that you do. But we will be happy if you take time for yourself to find who Kiara really is.

@jesusredeemedme2425 try to sleep. The brain does need to go into subconscious realm to do some essential processing there to be able to work again in the conscious realm ....

We get you. We understand your mental health struggles because we can relate from our experiences .....

Thanks for sharing this. ♥️

Hi Kiara. When I log onto 7Cups I will see your username either on a post or comment and it shows your dedication to being there for people. You remind me in some ways of me, hearing your words and seeing how much pressure you put on yourself hurts my soul. When you say you are constantly ‘on’ just remember that you are not a robot you’re a human and you have human needs. Place your needs first, as difficult as that can sometimes feel but it’s not fair to yourself if you put yourself last all the time. Be selfish sometimes when you feel it’s necessary, take what you deserve. No one knows you more than you know yourself so if you are tired then rest, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. People who care and love you will always be there for you no matter how long it takes you to truly find yourself. Be true to you 🤗 *hugs*

“Healing may not be so much about getting better as about letting go of everything that isn't you - all of the expectations, all of the beliefs - and becoming who you are.” - Rachel Naomi Remen.

Sorry if is to long but I felt the need to reply with my heart because you deserve it.

Kiara, I still remember the beautiful energy you gave me weeks ago when I was at a very low point — the lowest I had been in years — and your sweet, kind words along with your energy brought me back afloat. The support you gave me was something beyond normal. That’s why I want to offer you my humble support in everything you’ve shared, because, dear, you are not alone, and I deeply understand the pain you're feeling. Let me offer you my support and perspective:

First, I want you to stop for a moment and acknowledge something: despite feeling heartbreakingly awful, you’re still doing things and taking on responsibilities. Believe me, that’s something incredible, a testament to your strength. But strength doesn't mean there are no limits — and you need to recognize your own boundaries. Let me explain why.

The constant state of alertness you're in describes the anxiety you carry — to the point that even the “breaks” you get don’t help at all. In fact, they often make things worse, making you feel like you're sinking even more. Especially when you find yourself unable to enjoy the things you once loved the most: your art — which used to help you express and release emotions — or even just using your phone or computer to come here and distract yourself or do something interesting.

I know how monotonous it feels to just scroll or read things, especially for someone with a creative spirit like yours. You're not satisfied with just that — believe me. It’s completely normal to feel this way, to not be able to enjoy those things. Just like I couldn’t enjoy singing anymore, my voice would break easily. It’s not that those things no longer define you or that you’re losing yourself — it’s just that taking on so many responsibilities has a limit, and that’s the key to what’s happening.

What’s the purpose of procrastination, of free time, of boredom? It exists so your mind can slowly filter and process everything that’s been happening. But when you’re drowning in responsibilities, you’re not giving your mind the time it needs to process things. That’s why you're always in alert mode. And when you finally get a moment of rest — "Ugh, finally" — you sit down and everything you haven't processed comes rushing in with such pressure that it overwhelms you to the point you can't even enjoy what you long for.

Boredom has many uses, and we need to understand its reason for being. Sometimes it signals that something needs to change, but other times, it's just the result of overload.

How can we tell? Well, the clear dissonance between your words and your feelings says it all. You want to, but you can't. That means you're drowning, not that you've lost interest.

That’s why, with simple things like being helpful — I’m that kind of person too — we often postpone our needs for the sake of others because of our nature. Yes, there will always be people who take advantage, but in moments like this, even if it hurts, you must say enough.

I had to say enough to my sister, helping her with a thousand things. Enough helping my brothers, being the backbone and pillar. Enough.

You are not a servant, and you do not have to be everyone’s support all the time. That fatigue will slowly erode your being, because you’ll lose yourself in others.

I know how heartbreaking this emotional storm feels, Kiara, and it’s expected that you might not even feel like yourself — but that sorrow is far from reality. I know it’s easier said than felt, of course, but when things reach this point, you must acknowledge and accept the reality of your limits. They’re not something bad — they are the framework of how far your being can stretch. The fact that it expands and contracts over time is natural, but we must prevent it from breaking. Prioritize yourself.

You are not broken, even if you feel that way. You are not fragmented — not yet. But don’t scatter your beautiful, precious self when you're not in a state to handle it — because that’s when you truly might break.

A month ago, still hurting and emotionally numb, I openly told my professor how I felt and what I was going through. He told me he hadn’t noticed it at all — quite the opposite. That’s when I realized — although it was obvious — that being helpful, strong, and constantly responsible for others makes us unconsciously lose touch with our vulnerability, especially if there’s no one around who can accept and protect it without taking advantage.

I know your situation is complicated, and you’ll understand me more later when I tell you that you need to give yourself time and at the same time prioritize yourself. Let those thoughts and emotions flow with time, and little by little, you’ll rise from this situation stronger than before.

I trust you completely — you are amazing.

Take care of yourself! ♥