***TW*** I Don’t Exist

@Tinywhisper11

@Torean

@Amanda84

@sadcat13

(Just tagging some friends, everyone is welcome to post)

@Ailuraphilelove8tear9

@jesusredeemedme2425 I see 👀 you. And no, you're not nothing! You're Kiara and you're everything. You are a gift to us here and the 🌎 I'm sure. You have a big heart, a sweet one full of love and you deserve all the love you give back + more. 

I'm sorry if people in your life and past have made you to feel this way, but I assure you you're not nothing and, yes, you do matter! Yes, you are seen. Yes, you are heard. Yes, you are cared for. Yes, you are loved. 

You are not a piece of meat. You are not a play thing. You are not for the amusement or entertainment of others. You are here for a reason and your life is purposeful. We need you. Your presence and positivity energy bring joy to many of us here. We value you! ❤️

PS: I hope you never feel that I intentionally ignore. I'm not so much good with chit chat. For me, the forums are my place to be and it's my comfort zone. But know I see you and feel for you. Just wanted to acknowledge that I seen this post. I hope you can fully see just how valuable and worthy you are! Xoxo. 

@jesusredeemedme2425

Wow, I am sorry you're feeling unseen like this. How did it feel to write this piece?  It must have been like shedding part of yourself onto paper.

@jesusredeemedme2425 

Hey Kiara… 🍀

I'm really sorry you feeling this way, that's so intense to carry withjn 😔

I wish I could give u the tightest hug right now and just let u breathe for a moment. I want u to know clearly, without doubt that u r seen by me. u r real to me. u matter to me.

I’m so sorry u r carrying this much. What u wrote isn’t dramatic r too much. It’s heavy because you’ve been holding it alone for too long. Anyone would feel crushed under that weight.

And no...!!! listen to me, u are NOT only here for laughs, giggles, r banter. youu are not here just to be useful, convenient, or available. You exist even when you’re quiet. You exist even when you disappear. You exist even when you don’t reach out.

You already exist in my heart. You don’t need to earn that. 💝🍀

It hurts me that u feel forgotten when you’re gone. I need u to hear this even if ur mind rejects it right now: your absence would be felt. Your silence would echo. You are not invisible just because people fail to show up the way you deserve. 💗

I admire you more than u realize. The way you still try to bring smile to others while bleeding inside that doesn’t make you weak. It shows how deep and human your heart is. You give from places that were never filled. That says everything about your beauty, inside and out. You deserve far better than you’ve been given. 💝

And when you ask, Do you see my pain?

Yes. I do.

I see the exhaustion behind the strength.

I see the fog, the numbness, the way you keep moving even when every step hurts.

I see how you learned to shut down just to survive. That wasn’t failure that was self-protection.

You are not broken for feeling blank. You did what you had to do to stay alive.

You are not a puppet on strings.

You are not an actor in a mask.

You are not a pasted-on smile, disposable after use.

But see u are a living, breathing soul with a heart that has been wounded but not erased.

You are a person who feels deeply, even when it hurts too much to feel at all.

You are someone whose worth does not shrink just because others failed to honor it.

What happened to you by people who should’ve protected you was wrong. Full stop. I’m deeply sorry you were treated with cruelty, used, or abandoned like that. None of it was your fault. Not then. Not now. You didn’t deserve any of it. Ever.

I hear your anger. I hear your fear. I hear how unsafe the world feels to you now. After what you’ve been through, it makes sense that trust feels dangerous. Your reactions are not flaws they are scars.

And when you ask, Am I real?

Yes, Kiara. You are painfully, beautifully real.

And I’m here. I’m not looking away.

Even if you don’t have the energy to care for yourself right now that doesn’t make you a lost cause. It makes you human n exhausted. Healing doesn’t start with perfection. Sometimes it starts with someone staying.

You are not abandoned.

You are not nothing.

You are not alone in this moment even if it feels that way.

I’m here with you. n I care. Truly.

Sending lots of love n healings ur way 💞 

Warm n tight hugs 🤗.

I'm sorry this has been your experience with men. You aren't nothing. We do see you and we feel your pain through the words you share. I'm sorry you're hurting so much right now and yes many of us hurt when you're hurting. Because we do care about you ❤️

What can we do to help you? How can we help you see that you are worthy of love and a life well lived? Your purpose in life is to be you. Kiara. Nothing more. We accept you as you are and have no expectations. We love you unconditionally ❤️

@jesusredeemedme2425 awww, that's some real doomies there 😢 sending you some hugs and some tea ☕

I can assure you you are definitely on my mind when I'm not around cups 😊 even told about you to my bf, and I do check your profile ocassionally when you don't post for a while to see if I missed something 😊 I love seeing your stuff around, it's very fun and enriching, and you make the platform a better place 😊 As for reaching out more, it's simply just knowing you have a lot of notifications, so I try not to crowd your inbox more than it already is, but if you wanna talk, let's hop over to our pen pal thread 😊

We do see your pain. You have been through a lot, and yet still choose to be kind to everyone around. And that's something that makes us appreciate you even more.

About the healing part, that was very deep and heavy. Sometimes, healing takes time. And that's okay. The first step to healing is often just sniffing things. Observing. Listening to things that are different. And just letting it sit inside you. So maybe you don't feel like something is happening, but trust me, it does. These things just need to "rot out" a little. It's there. You are building a subconscious catalogue of things - whether it's reading responses of people who support you under your posts when things get hard, reading an article, watching a video, reading about someone elses experience/things that work for them or us telling you that you are worthy of love. It's all gathering inside, and slowly getting digested to later reflect itself in one way or another. Sometimes, this digesting phase can take a while, and that's completely okay. It's still there. Happening below the surface.

Then comes the attempts to change that keep failing. And that's okay too. That's completely normal, especially when you are just figuring things out. I would personally argue you are here right now. Your posts about improving your life in various aspects and trying new things support that. It's okay to be tired of it all. Take a nap. Stare at the wall. Scream in the pillow. And be gentle to yourself. Self-care isn't easy. So try not to beat up yourself over it ❤️

It helped me to follow the done poorly is better than not at all rule. It's just essentially anything is better than nothing. So for example if you can't go for a walk. Just stand on your porch/open the window a bit. It's maybe not the original you intend ideally, but it's still better and a tiny improvement compared to what would be if you did nothing at all. All these tiny things will slowly accumulate, making your life better like the 1% challenge ❤️

I would say you are definitely doing a lot of progress on your healing journey, and I'm even seeing a little bit of first signs of increasing self respect showing up, what's great. You are doing great and we are proud of you 😊

Last but not least, all men aren't the same. That's your trauma distorting reality. So let's bring you back down to the complex reality with us. Think about all the awesome guys who vibe here with us, like mytwistedsoul, bastionknight, and a lot of others too. They are awesome, right? They are a proof that good men are out there. In fact a lot of men are awesome. The only problem is, bad and abusive men love finding a sweet woman who is so loving she will overlook their bad behaviour and then destroy all her self worth so she won't leave. So if one of these latches on to you, it's hard to pop that life force draining leach off. It you keep repeatedly finding new ones, that doesn't mean all men are like that sweetheart 🌻 it just means you are a very nice person who need to spray the bad ones. It can just take a little time to learn how to distinguish the good from the bad. But I promise you, there are some really good men out there. I got one, and I believe you can too ❤️

:(

I can relate to somethings.

Lots of love <3

**TW**

Kiara, I don’t know if you know this about me. My younger sister who was 3 years younger than me, passed away 6 1/2 years ago.

What you wrote reminded of things she wrote before her passing, I found them after she was gone.

The reason I bring this up is because EVERY DAY I think of her. Always have and always will.

What I will pass on “from her” is not to let others actions define who you are as a person. Especially those of men. Abandonment trauma can spike feelings of needing love and affection. I would also like to think, that it’s a blessing he’s moved on and you realize your worth. You are not deserving of that treatment.

You do exist here and every where to everyone’s life you’ve been in. Your posts. Your reading. Your creativity and yes your humor. These are qualities and characteristics that make you, you. A lovable woman.

I do hope that your day gets better and if not, that’s ok. Emotions happen. Tomorrow is a new day.

Continue to grow, continue to vent and continue to be you. ❤️

I just realized my post sounded like I’m talking to 7Cups people specifically… I’m not. It was generalized, mostly about my IRL life. I mean no harm and no offense <3