Weekly Prompt #24: What triggers your feelings of low self-esteem?
Hello all!
Last week we discussed- Imagine encountering someone who is visibly upset or distressed. How can you offer support and comfort to them in a meaningful way? If you haven't checked yet, please click here to add your thoughts.
This week's prompt is: What triggers your feelings of low self-esteem? Is it specific situations, certain people, or your own internal voice?
Today I want us to reflect upon our self-esteem and what affects it. Understanding the triggers can help you develop strategies to overcome them. Please share and discuss here among us.
Join us in the 24/7 General Support Group Chat to share and support each other.
@ASilentObserver mostly my own voice. My body is kinda messed up, scars, missing limbs etc. I'm quite embarrassed by the way I look, so I shy away from meeting people face to face. But yeah! Also other peoples words, can really knock confidence and self esteem
so please everyone think before you speak ❤
@Tinywhisper11 I understand how body image and scars can impact self-esteem. The way you describe feeling embarrassed and shy about meeting others shows this weighs heavily on you. What matters most is how you feel about yourself inside. You deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin.
Please never be embarrassed by the way you look, your body being "messed up" or scars. You should think of yourself as a beautiful warrior because you are. You fought through things only others could dream about, and here you are helping others. You've helped me if you didn't know.
I'm so grateful for you and so many people like you who show resilience, courage, strength, and a beautiful soul.
Words by others can be viscious and hurt. I can be viscious with my words. I'm working on it. I fail sometimes. 😊 I then try to apologize and take accountability for my reaction to someone else's issue.
One thing to remember is it's often their issue and not about you. In my case, I was isolated, alone, depressed, sick, etc. I showed anger when what I really was was hurt. I now try to show people who say things that are hurtful compassion. They probably have things they're dealing with. We're all human after all. Most of us are messed up in some way.
Please, wear those scars as a badge of honor. 🤗💜🤗 You are a warrior in public or over the internet.
@Tinywhisper11 You Are Beautiful No Matter They Say , Words Can’t Bring You Down... i Hope We all put ourselves into other peoples shoes before We judge them, We should realize words can make Or unmake one person and what the impact of such word... We should be more kind and empathetic.
@AnnaBanana06 thanks Anna ❤❤❤ your very sweet ❤
Probably my own internal voice, these days
@slowdecline48 It sounds like your internal voice has been hard on yourself lately. What feelings come up when it's critical? You deserve to treat yourself with compassion.
What triggers your feelings of low self-esteem? Is it specific situations, certain people, or your own internal voice?
I have been working on my own spiritual path this year and trying to learn about myself.
I have been a people pleaser growing up, because I rather see people happy at my own expense then fighting. I witnessed a lot of the violence and fights growing up. I was always in fear that if I cause a fight or made someone upset that I would get hurt.
This really messed up my confidence and my self-esteem. The last ten years or so, I have learned who I am. I also realize that I am going on a different path and it requires confidence and stronger self esteem.
My triggers yelling, some members of my family, current babies (since my hysterectomy), my current living situation, my inner demons, and I have severe social anxiety, so I pace myself with my goals. Some days are better than others. I have been trying to work on fighting my feelings against these triggers as they are in my head.
@Rebekahwriter13 Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. It sounds like you have faced many challenges growing up that have impacted your confidence and self-esteem. Witnessing violence and feeling you had to please others for safety are understandings no one should have to carry. I am moved by your strength and growth over the last ten years learning who you are. What matters most is how you see and treat yourself now.
@ASilentObserver
These days, it's mostly things that happen which trigger my internal voice rather than the other way around. An awkward interaction with someone that I could have done a better job at. Answering a question wrong in a lecture. A bad grade. Getting in an argument with someone. Seeing something negative online. Sometimes, if it's too relatable and not something I can pawn off on fictional characters, listening to music that is too sad. Mostly it's when I perceive I've done something wrong, my mind quickly jumps to "I'm bad." But sometimes I am able to have high self-esteem, which is different than before - I never used to be able to do this. So I suppose things are getting better. I can't really avoid doing things wrong, I'm only human after all, I have to try to learn to not be too hard on myself when I make mistakes, and try to fix them without compromising my self-esteem. Easier said than done, though! 😅
@ItsReganingRain It sounds like you experience a lot of self-criticism when things do not go perfectly. it seems this internal voice is quick to judge. You mentioned some successes with building self-esteem at times - what allows those moments to emerge? It is courageous that you are aware of this pattern and seeking to relate to yourself with more care.
@ASilentObserver
Mostly when things are going well/not going badly. At those times I often have good self-esteem and it's rarer for me to think negative thoughts. Although lately I have been trying to break the negative pattern through... just thinking really hard that the bad times are not representative of my whole life and trying to recall that I deserve compassion. It works sometimes, when I remember to do it. Thank you for the kind words, they make me feel better.
@ItsReganingRain It sounds like reflecting on the positive times helps lift your mood and self-esteem. You are making an effort to be compassionate with yourself during both the ups and downs, which isn't always easy but is important for well-being. What kinds of things do you enjoy doing during those good times that make you feel good?
@ASilentObserver I got Rejection sensitivity dysphoria so it’s quite easy for me to take things hard and emedently shutdown. I’ve noticed It’s not nearly as bad as it is when im on my ADHD meds. But when im not on meds anything from someone talking over me to someone saying you can’t do —— cuz of —- . Other things like not understanding how to do stuff properly or getting bad grades do makes me feel quite down
@GwydionRowan Thank you for sharing about your experience with rejection sensitivity dysphoria and how it impacts you. It sounds like you are quite attuned to noticing differences in how you feel depending on whether you are taking your ADHD medication. How does it make you feel to be so aware of those differences?
When people talk about their works i feel so low feel like i am useless i do nothing
@Mekuland3050 It sounds like hearing about others' accomplishments can make you feel down on yourself. What thoughts tend to go through your mind in those moments?
I feel like everyone is doing great and got everything they wanted what i wanted i failed to get that i couldnt do anything just be useless for myself everyone shows a lot how great their life is i dont wanna show but i dont have anything fulfilling either i see myself as a failed human
@Mekuland3050
I'm sorry you feel this way. It sounds very heavy. I have some days when I feel like that too. It's good to remember that everyone is only showing one side of the coin but we're all challenged in one way or another. You're not alone!
@Aputik thanks for tour kind words. It does feel so heavy I dont know how to cope with it i am trying my best to feel good , i know everyone has their challenges if i cant face something i feel i am so weak and incapable which is not true still i feel so bad !
@Mekuland3050 it sounds like you have too much on your plate right now (anyone would feel drained and overwhelmed in your situation - despite trying really hard to not show it!). Maybe you want to pause and recharge doing things that you like before you get back at takling your challenges. Is there anything you like to do that always/usually make you feel better? (exercise, chating with a true friend...)
@Aputik it is , i feel do drained even a normal chores is hard to do. I do sometimes chat with a friend, i walk which i feel so hard to do also i paint which i enjoy a lot .
I bet you're a great painter!! ;)
@Mekuland3050 It sounds like you are feeling down on yourself when you compare your life to what others show of theirs. Feeling like a failure can be so hard to bear. What matters most is how you see yourself deep inside.
@ASilentObserver
Mean people, authority abusers, chronic stress, big changes without support, being assaulted, being ignored, being in functional freeze where dishes, laundry and other necessities get neglected.
@communicativePond1728 It sounds like you have experienced a lot of difficulties and stressors in your life that have weighed heavily on you. Reflecting on how those experiences have made you feel can often help ease that burden, even if just a little. You're not alone in facing challenges, we are all here with you.
@ASilentObserver
When I don't have the awareness of a situation to allow myself to be myself and take action on that my low self esteem is triggered.
@communicativePond1728 It sounds like low self-esteem can be triggered when you are not fully aware of a situation. What feelings come up for you in those moments?
I can be brutally critical and little things makes me feel incapable and inadequate. Currently dealing with a young, over-energetic puppy who has a tendency to start chewing on everything in sight (except her toys) when she's too wound up.
This makes it difficult to do anything. Sweeping is impossible because she tries to grab the broom, doing stuff on the computer is hard because she jumps with no warning and gets on the keys, and drawing anything is difficult too because of her jumping and her grabbing pencils, pens, etc.
I take her out. Not as much this weekend because of the weather and she was recovering from surgery but I feel like I'm really not providing her the best environment. She should be on a ranch or at least with someone who can afford taking her to agility classes.
And then there's my work which is a subject in itself. Plus the honors society I was nominated for with the college I am attending. I found out that part of the induction ceremony involves connecting with others and engaging in leadership activities. I know such things are important but I don't feel like I'm capable of such things.
@Enthenia It sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed and inadequate in several areas right now. Having an energetic puppy during a busy time can certainly add stress. I can understand why taking care of her needs while also focusing on work and school commitments would leave little time for yourself. Your worth is not defined by how well you're able to meet all these demands. What aspects of your puppy's care, when she's wound up, do you find most draining?
@ASilentObserver
Mainly trying to find ways to get her to relax or to stop her from chewing on cardboard, plastic, the cat's food, books, fabric, etc.
It's like dealing with a three year old who has had too much candy because she doesn't always listen and then I feel bad if I have to raise my voice. Then I blame myself for having things she can get into or the fact I don't live on a 40-acre ranch where she'd probably be happier or that I don't have the money and means to take her out hiking or something. I also can't really run. My knees and joints aren't in prime condition.
@Enthenia Exploring new ways to keep her occupied indoors while protecting your home must bring up difficult emotions. It sounds like you are feeling frustrated about not being able to stop some of your dog's chewing behaviors. This must be difficult to deal with at times. What emotions come up for you when you see her chewing on things she shouldn't?
@ASilentObserver Well seeing as how I discovered a chewed kitchen mat this morning that I had recently purchased, frustration and a sense of wasting money. Then an annoyance at myself for falling asleep and generally criticizing myself for everything because technically I'm responsible for everything. Late last night I had to pull a sketchbook out of her mouth and a package of pens. I had to tilt a large storage container up because otherwise she would have climbed on it and pulled other art supplies out.
This coupled with lack of sleep can make my existence seem like a precarious game of Jenga. And on top of all that, my morning did not go well. Was about to leave to get my bus (& I was already five or six minutes later than normal) when a stay cat that lives in the neighborhood showed up mewing. So I went in to get him some treats. My cat darts out to chase the stray and then the dog starts barking because she's in her crate alone in the apartment. I waited a few minutes to see if our cat would come back then had to leave with the dog still barking. If she's determined enough she might open the crate (happened once before) which means I might find more things torn up when I get home.
Anyways, I got to the bus stop and checked the arrival time of the bus. Said the next one would arrive at quarter to. So I started the mile walk up to the street where I get my second bus. When I'm nearly to the intersection to the next street, my initial bus goes by. The service you can use to check the arrival of the next bus was incorrect. Then, I had to run across the street to mske my connection (something that's hard to do). I made it though but I had to stand because the bus was crowded.
All this makes me question the sense of it all and be annoyed with my numerous shortcomings.