@Gettingbettertoday
I hear you, David and want you to know that your feelings are valid. It sounds like you've been putting in a lot of effort, but these practices haven't been resonating as you'd hoped. Sometimes, it takes time to find what works best. Remember, progress can be gradual. You can explore alternative approaches here with the community, tailored to your comfort and pace. You're not alone in this journey, and we are here to support you every step of the way.

I feel this so much! Trying is a HUGE win even when it doesn’t feel like it. Maybe you’re making making more progress than you think?

I have to remind myself often that life and healing isn’t linear, or easy. No one’s journeys are ever the same or necessarily meant to be understood by others. Give yourself a hug 🫂

I’m probably telling myself what I need to hear too. Keep going. Baby steps. 🛶☀️😇❤️

I too have tried all those approaches did nothing for me either.....

in journaling it felt forced and nonsense / meditation i get bored / and the grateful project never even came close to helping... so you are not alone.

when i was younger although i did not see it at the time i moved furniture in my house to feel like a new look try to see if different configurations worked etc .... i see now i wanted a change and that was my small relief valve for change i did not think was coming....

I tell you this to show that if there is anything you think .....you might want to try / or change or do kind of a back burner what if ...type thing sometimes jumping in and doing it makes me feel better

often my furniture needed to be moved back for practicality ......but for a few days i disrupted my NORMAL /considered a possibility.

@Gettingbettertoday it's ok sweetie ❤❤ gives you giant tiny hug ❤I love you

@Gettingbettertoday I agree journaling sucks. Gratitude lists suck. Gratitude itself is a subtle gem however. Do you need x number of gratitude items? No! Self compassion is also a subtle gem. Meditation doesn’t always make me feel calm and hardly ever gives me an insight. However stopping my mind from chasing my thoughts is actually a practice that I think trains my mind bad body to be able to pause my mind when I’m not sitting in my meditation posture with eyes closed. These all bring seconds of relief. Subtle. Short. So why do it? Well sometimes it saves me. It keeps me from lashing out in anger, sometimes. That is actually huge for me. It also keeps me from riding a depression wave way out to sea. I still jump on my depression surfboard, but I remember to jump off and head back to shore before the depression caries me away for hours or days. It allows me to make more adult decisions. It allows me to be a much better friend to myself. Sometimes it enables me to be truly present for others and that makes my relationships better. When I discovered meditation I found the book, “Why Buddhism is True” which is a silly title, and the author isn’t using “True” the way you might think. This book could have been titled, “Concepts around meditation and why and how it might work.” I also learned about “meta” meditation which gave me a simple way to understand and practice self compassion. The Bible says to love thy neighbor as thy self. But no one ever taught me how to love myself. Thing is, when you learn to be kind, gentle and loving with yourself, it makes it easier to love your neighbors. So maybe it’s still worth trying these things.

@Gettingbettertoday I think what you need is some sort of consequence if the goal isn't met. Like setting a deadline for example. Knowing what's gonna happen if I don't finish the task before the deadline would fuel whatever motivation I have to just do it. Or, set a goal. Said goal will be a reminder of why you're doing what you're doing in the first place, so you can stay on track. Those are what worked for me so I think it's worth a try

@Gettingbettertoday

Dear Getting Better Today,

Hi there, it’s today, so you’re better already! It sounds like you've been trying a few different ways to get unstuck but are still feeling stuck. It's important to remember that everyone's journey is unique, and it's okay if you find some methods work better for you than others.

Here are a few additional suggestions that may help you move forward:

♡🦁🌹Try jarring yourself out of your rut. Put a cold, or hot, washcloth on your face. Sleep in a different place in the house. Move some furniture. Try a new food that you’re not allergic to (trying something you’re allergic to will give you a whole different kind of negative jarring experience). Watch a type of show you don’t usually watch (if you usually watch nature shows, try a true crime show, or a romantic comedy for a change). If you walk, try walking your route in a different direction. Try walking for your groceries, if the store is close enough, instead of driving! Do something different, anything. Even combing your hair in a different direction can stimulate root growth.

♡🦁🌹 Try exploring a new hobby or activity: Doing something you enjoy and find fulfilling can help you feel more motivated and boost your mood. An additional benefit of an activity like a class or a club is the chance to meet other people with similar interests. This way, it’s possible to strike up a friendship in a non-threatening way to them and to you, because you already have a built-in common topic. (Examples: yoga class, pottery class, mushroom gatherers, walking club, biking club, car repair club, language learning club, kick boxing).

♡🦁🌹 Practice self-care: Take care of your physical and mental health by getting enough sleep, eating well, and taking time to relax and recharge. This includes sometimes lighting a candle with a fragrance so the air smells good, and putting aromas in the aromatherapy decanter, or cooking up something tasty and good so that the whole place is filled with a good aroma. Use black-out curtains if you have trouble sleeping because of outdoor light. Set your alarm to birds instead of something loud so you can wake up slowly and naturally.

♡🦁🌹Take a chance on someone outside of yourself. Help someone by volunteering to serve food at a shelter, or give some of your time at a school to read to students, or visit a prison to teach a skill you have that you can pass along. Hold preemie babies at a hospital! Invite someone into your home for a meal. Helping others has a marvelous effect of finding commonalities among humans and joy in the sheer absurdity that any of us are even alive together on this planet.

♡🦁🌹 Take small steps: Break your goals into smaller, more manageable steps, and take things one small step at a time. This can help you feel less overwhelmed and more equipped and ready to take actions towards your goal.

♡🦁🌹 Focus on the present: Try to be mindful and present in the moment, rather than dwelling on past setbacks or worrying about the future. This can help you reduce stress and increase your sense of well-being.

♡🦁🌹 Be kind to yourself: When you catch yourself in the mirror, try smiling at yourself! You’re kinda cool! Allow yourself to make mistakes and have setbacks and embrace the learning opportunities that come with them. Give yourself a huge hug! Remind yourself that progress is not always linear and that it's okay to take breaks when you need them.

Remember, it's okay to seek help and support when you need it, and to take the time you need to heal and grow. Progress looks different for everyone, and what matters most is that you're making the effort to take care of yourself and move forward in a way that feels right for you. Don't hesitate to experiment with different methods, kinda like a mad scientist, trial and error, and find what works best for you while being kind to yourself along the way. You got this!

Love ♡ and Courage 🦁, Tas 🌹

@Gettingbettertoday

Hi my friend,

Firstly, well done for for giving these things a go. You actually did them and that in itself is something you can be proud of.

Secondly, it takes time to get an understanding of an activity. Say you want to learn to play the piano, we go through the same process as learning to meditate or journaling or any activity. We do these things to help us grow as individuals and to help us feel better but they do take time and practice just as any other activity we do in life.

I think It comes down to how much we enjoy or value the activity we are doing. That determines how much time we want to spend perfecting it. I love playing piano so I will spend the time to learn and get better at it. I don’t like journaling so I won’t spend the time to get better at it.

Any activity we take on for our self growth or as a way of countering depression will be more effective if we enjoy it. There in lies the difficulty. How do we make these activities that help us manage our depression more enjoyable for us?

As an example of what I mean, I am not disciplined enough to write a journal however, I do like poetry and writing song lyrics, so for journaling, I now write poetry and song lyrics to help me deal with strong feelings of depression. This is just one example.

I wish you every success on your path to self discovery and fulfilment in life my friend. I am confident you will continue to grow as the good human being that you are.

@Gettingbettertoday I hear yoiu. What do you enjoy doing? What would you do even if not paid to do it or because someone said you have to?

@Gettingbettertoday

You've been trying 10 years all that stuff and it hasn't worked - doesn't that tell you something?

Forget compassion and gratitude and all those nicey words which sound good in theory

I feel for people stuck hearing the same things over and over - and believing in it.. and then thinking "there is something wrong with me" and "I will never get better"

This world can be cold and cruel, Guess what, so can you.

People are lying to you.

Find your own power. Find yourself, Stop believing you're supposed to feel things you DON'T, like gratitude

None of that works for you so stop doing it and find your own way that works for you

I had a therapist who preached to me about forgiveness. I said I forgive and she was happy - but I wasn't. Then finally, I said you know what - I don't forgive anyone - and that made ME feel better, So **** them

Unless you want to stay depressed and miserable for the rest of your life then you need to face reality. Who are you really? Don't be ashamed

Edited Aug 30, 2023